"Ride the Savage Land"? This doesn't even have Zabu, what the hell...

I know this book ran reprints for a long time, but this issue hadn't been reprinted stateside? Hmm, from later than I would've thought, too: from 1971, Rawhide Kid #85, "Ride the Savage Land!" Written and drawn by Larry Lieber, inks by John Tartaglione.

Although he was a known "owlhoot," the Rawhide Kid is able to get honest work riding shotgun for a stage. Grateful for the chance, Rawhide likes his boss, who is excited for the return of his son from schooling back east. The son, Tom, is an uppity snob; but he's not the biggest problem, as the stage gets robbed: the robbers had an inside man, posing as a passenger, who takes Tom hostage. Tom's sniveling gets the stage driver killed when he goes for his gun, and Rawhide and Tom are left tied up and horseless in the middle of nowhere. Once they get loose, Rawhide has no choice but to go after the robbers, since he figures if he didn't bring them in, folks would jump to the conclusion he was in on it.

Rawhide tries to cash in on his bad reputation and join the gang in order to take it down, but they aren't as dumb as he thought. Still, when Tom finally sacks up, they're able to turn the tables. I'm guessing the bad guy would be played by, I don't know, Jack Elam probably.
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"Kicking Guy."

What does Batroc have common with Quentin Tare--nope, not going there. Are Batroc's feet all calloused and rough, or does he baby them? Hmm. Either way, I would not care to be on the receiving end of them.
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I knew I remembered a scene from an issue of Dazzler, but I thought it was from the first one. Nope! From 1981, Dazzler #2, "Where Demons Fear to Dwell!" Written by Tom DeFalco, pencils by John Romita Jr, inks by Alfredo Alcala. (Pages 3, 11-13 are from an uncredited Walt Simonson! Page 12 is very much his, that got me to look that up!)

I think I conflated the first and second issues, since I thought this whole story was part of the premiere. Dazzler had outsung the Enchantress for a headlining gig at the disco Numero Uno, but was starting to feel a bit of stage fright. Still, her fans were excited to see her--namely the Thing and the Torch, the Avengers, the X-Men, and Spider-Man! It's a pretty good turnout, although the Enchantress comes back for her revenge, aging Dazzler decades in seconds! Only a frantic light-blast at the disco ball saves her. The assorted heroes get changed out of their party clothes to help out, as the Enchantress summons a pile of demons to help her.

Enchantress seems to be on the verge of summoning some giant ugly that will give her even more power, with only Dazzler close enough to stop her. Which she does. Still, it's an empty victory for her, as the disco is trashed, and she's worried she'll never get another gig when that might happen again. Still, a music publisher had liked her show, and gives her a card for an interview with an agent. The Avengers give her a lift in a quinjet, and they and the other heroes cajole the agent into giving Dazzler a chance. She gets signed...but would face Doctor Doom next month!

Yeah, so I didn't remember any of that. The only scene that made an impression? Steve Rogers getting ready to go out--and wearing his shield under his suit jacket! Even with Cap's shoulders, that would ruin the lines of his outfit.
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"Sounds like Superman is in trouble!...but, I'm already going the other way, so..."

I don't recall if Brave and the Bold ever did this, but Marvel Team-Up and Marvel Two-in-One used to sometimes and it would drive me up the wall. Today, Superman's team-up book pulls that stunt: from 1979, DC Comics Presents #6, "The Fantastic Fall of Green Lantern!" Written by Paul Levitz, pencils by Curt Swan, inks by Francisco Chiaramonte.

A press club awards dinner honoring Clark Kent and Lois Lane is marred by Clark falling over like a clod again; but if he hadn't, several people would probably have been killed by the crash-landing Green Lantern! Superman had heard him coming, and feigned clumsiness to keep everyone out of harm's way. Barely conscious, GL gives his ring to Clark, who gets his own outfit! Lois is pretty quick to ask why, the implication being Clark shouldn't be trusted with a stapler, but 'Superman' arrives to help Clark out and take the ring. That's a projection created by the power ring, which explains what happened: Green Lantern had gotten the stuffing kicked out of him, by none other than Star Sapphire!

Sapphire had faced Supes before--in Superman #261, which I'd love to read--and isn't intimidated. She's able to get the power ring away from him in short order; then teleports away to abduct Hal, in order to learn him some manners so he'll be a proper consort for her, and she can become queen of the Zamorans! Which was contingent on getting Hal, for some reason? Supes is able to intercept Sapphire's ship on the way to Zamora, but doesn't realize he's being watched, by the Weaponers of Qward! Fighting Sapphire, Superman is able to recover the power ring; but is then zapped simultaneously by her and an unseen Weaponer, knocking him out momentarily. Even unconscious, Supes is still trying to use the ring to get the Star Sapphire gem off of Carol Ferris, but doesn't have enough will...still, that's pretty impressive.

Hal recovers the ring, since he can control it when close enough; and explains a little about how Sapphire is giving him such a hard time: he loves Carol, who doesn't want him as GL; and she is tempting as Star Sapphire--crazy/evil is hot--but that would mean the end of his Green Lantern career. GL revives Superman, who is able to get the gem and turn her back into Carol, and she passes out. Hal confesses to Superman, part of him wanted to lose to her; and takes Carol back to Coast City. As he takes off, Superman wonders how she was able to affect him so strongly, and the Weaponer strikes again! He claims his "Q-Energy" bolts could kill even him...to be continued, next month, with a different hero: Red Tornado! Ugh, I know GL took off in a hurry, but the Weaponer hit him with a friggin' thunderbolt, he maybe should've heard that. I never like it when the team-up stories continue, with a different guest-star. If the first guest-star stays on for the second part as well, that's fine; but when they ditch out it just strikes me as rude.
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Let's see how many subplots are going against Blue Beetle this month!

The month in question being July 1987, of course: Blue Beetle #14, "The Phantom of Pago Island!" Written by Len Wein, pencils by Paris Cullins, inks by Dell Barras, plot assist by R.J.M. Lofficier.

We open with the last crossover's guest-stars, the Teen Titans, helping to repair Beetle's airship, the Bug. They had faced off against new (and all-but-forgotten) super-group the Hybrid, which had been created by the insane Mento. (That dick!) Ted Kord's friend and employee Curt Calhoun had been abducted after an industrial accident and became the Colossus-looking Prometheus; Ted swears to find and save him from the Hybrid; he would not, they wouldn't appear again in this series. (That wasn't the same Prometheus from JLA.) With no leads, Ted returns to his Chicago base, and reaffirms his vow to continue the legacy of the original Blue Beetle, Dan Garrett.

Meanwhile, Detective Maxwell Fisher is following the loose ends of that legacy, back to Pago Island in the Atlantic; intent on finding the truth behind Garrett's disappearance. His chartered boat is capsized, then something begins killing off the sailors one by one. Back at Kord Inc, Ted's second-in-command (and terrible, terrible love interest) Melody reads him the riot act for never being around, neglecting his duties, and missing a date. (She probably has a point, but I don't think we see the two of them happy with each other once in this series!) In France, a pharmaceutical company that had been trying to blackmail a Kord employee for a secret compound prepares to unleash a new villain, Catalyst. Another friend of Ted's, Murray Takamoto, is fired from S.T.A.R. Labs. In frustration with not being able to help his friend, Ted decides to hit up the cops for info on a missing girl that had been kidnapped under Melody's nose: the footnote points out she became a member of Hybrid, but doesn't mention which one, and Ted didn't know. Seeing the map on Fisher's desk, he realizes where he went, and that it could spell the end of his secret identity.

After a quick recap of his origin--and I don't think it was the first of the series by any means, either--Ted flies out to Pago, and finds a dying sailor, who screams to keep the beast away. Ted wonders what menace his uncle Jarvis left behind, and he finds Fisher fighting it: it's hardly a beast, it's killer robot Carapax, the Indestructible Man! The name's kind of a misnomer on both fronts; and while it's a pretty impressive robot for fighting Beetle; it also looks like Superman's going to crunch up six of them before scowling at Lex Luthor.

OK, so the Hybrid, the Beetle legacy (which would come up again in #18) and Fisher's vendetta, woes with work and Melody, Catalyst, and Murray; I'm not counting Carapax since I guess that's the main plot? Six subplots, and I know not all of them would be wrapped up before Beetle's last issue, #24.
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His love interest was the bad guy? That never happens...oh, wait. Yes, it does.

Actually, both of his love interests might be acting up today. From 2009, Batman: Gotham After Midnight #11, written by Steve Niles, art by Kelley Jones.

This is the penultimate issue of this limited series, and the title has a double meaning: not just the city late at night, but the main villain of the piece is called Midnight. He wears a mask--hopefully that's a mask!--that looks like a horrible skull with long hair on the sides and bald on top, and also appears to have no nose? By this point in the story, Midnight had killed several people, including a cop Bats had been interested in; and controlled several villains to do his bidding: Man-Bat, Catwoman, Killer Croc, the Scarecrow, and Axeman. Axeman? I thought he might have been created for this series, but apparently he was from an old issue of Richard Dragon, Kung-Fu Fighter and Niles also used him in his Creeper reboot. (I'm fairly sure I have a quarter-bin copy of that, I'll have to keep an eye out.)

Midnight had juiced up the villains somehow, but Batman had figured out how to break the control and their augmentation; but they still fight him because they still hate him. Scarecrow seemed to be working closely with Midnight, having created a new toxin that causes not fear but hallucinations. For his trouble, Scarecrow seemingly gets his face caved in; and he, Man-Bat, Croc, and Axeman are captured. After pausing to try and get the toxin out of his system, Batman follows Midnight to a local landmark, the Van Tassel family windmill, dating back to 1761. Midnight wanted this fight, and still had the edge, as Batman hallucinates a vision of the late detective April. 'April' turns out to be Catwoman, there to get payback for Midnight controlling her, and she starts a fire that would burn down the windmill in minutes!

Catwoman then splits, leaving Batman forced to try and save Midnight, who catches alight--and unmasks to reveal April? Another hallucination...or is it? Midnight seems to burn more than the windmill, but refuses Batman's aid, saying all of Gotham should burn. "In the end, it's just tough love, Batman. I wonder if you have the heart for it?"

I haven't read all of this one, and I don't think it's as out there as Batman: Unseen, but Kelley Jones, man.
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"Gun4Hire."

By the time bounty-hunter Paladin appeared in Daredevil #150 in 1978, I don't know that kids would've recognized the name from the old western TV show Have Gun--Will Travel, even though it ran for like six seasons and 225 episodes or so. I only started watching it recently, in reruns in the morning. It's kind of refreshing: a lot of shows lately have season-long arcs, on this one the bad guy is usually shot up inside of 22 minutes. Anyway, Marvel-Paladin wishes he was as cool as TV Paladin: I remember his appearances in Amazing Spider-Man and Captain America, both of which he was only successful because the hero had to be set back. A couple years back, we saw him get his legs broke by U.S.Agent in Punisher: No Escape.
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This post is scheduled extra early, to wake you up, before you g--nope, nope, no.

Every once in a while, Dredd will remind you, yeah, it's a British comic, even if it might take a minute to get the reference. Like today's book! From 1990, Judge Dredd #49, "Block Rite" Written by John Wagner and Alan Grant, both credited as T. B. Grover; art by Cliff Robinson. Reprinted from 1986's 2000 AD #489.

In Mega-City One, tensions between neighboring Blocks often spilled over into conflict or outright block war; and today the beef between 'Michael' and 'Ridgeley' was coming to a head, with an illegal bareknuckle match. The fighters, Turk for Michael and Crippen for Ridgeley, are evenly matched; and don't seem to have any personal grievance with each other. They fight hard and fair; while the Judges surround the makeshift arena...and at Dredd's order, wait.

When Crippen finally scores a knockout, Dredd orders the Judges in, corralling the spectators and fighters alike. The latter get 18 months, which seems a bit stiff since they may have been pressured into it. Another Judges asks why Dredd let the fight go on, and he explains this would at least relieve some of the pressure between George Michael and Andrew Ridgeley...hey, wait a minute! Ah, Dredd even mentions "Wham Passageway" between the blocks!

Perhaps in a "Careless Whisper" (Boo!) Dredd admits "you're never too old to enjoy a good fight." He wasn't softening by any means, but look, there's not a lot of fun to be had as a Judge, better take what you can get...Hmm, maybe I should've scheduled this post to run, "Last Christmas." (BOO!)
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I don't think she even gets to pull a gun out this issue; that never happened to Frank.

When we blogged Punisher: Countdown for "The End" week, I mentioned how I thought the villain Stone Cold was there as a "narrative cheat," to keep the Punisher from coming across as the bad guy. Turns out Stone Cold had appeared before that, as in today's book! From 1995, Punisher War Journal #76, "Stone Dead" Written by Chuck Dixon, pencils by Melvin Rubi, inks by Frank Percy and Reggie Jones.

I was aware of this stretch of the title, but hadn't really read any of it; so I was excited to get it out of the quarter bin. Then I set it aside and forgot about it for a bit, and now? ...enh. The book's new lead, Lynn Michaels, does not get much to do this issue; it's mostly Stone Cold versus the anti-vigilante task force VIGIL. Stone Cold's motivation isn't much clearer here than it was in Countdown; he mentions his government-sponsored origin, but why he's seemingly against vigilantes and anti-vigilantes alike is anybody's guess, except I think he was trained and prepared as a contingency against either getting out of hand and then decided now was as good as time as any to get on that. He is also shamelessly aping Jules from Pulp Fiction, with quote after quote intended to make him seem literate and/or badass. For their part, VIGIL seems like a knock-off G.I. Joe (so the Corps then?) with cowboy hat guy, tank guy, etc. Prepared up the wazoo with Macross-style missile spam, Stone Cold chews them up and spits them out. Even for a Punisher comic, that seems like a lot of ordinance flying around; but the New York City of this book is little but rotting tenements and street gangs. VIGIL is disbanded afterwards, absorbed back into the Justice Department or something, although a ton of guys probably died.

Not great, then. This issue did have the ever-popular U.S. Postal Service Statement of Ownership: Average number of copies each issue during preceding 12 months: 87, 058. Actual number of copies of single issue closest to filing date: 41,800. That seems like it's augering in. Lynn had two issues left, before Frank took back over for Countdown.
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Not a "Dark Horse" favorite, this one. (BOO!)

Dark Horse Comics actually reprinted this one in the Chronicles of Conan #27, but we've got a tattered original today: From 1988, Conan the Barbarian #209, "Dark Horse" Plot and script by James (Priest) Owsley, plot and pencils by Val Semeiks, finishes by Alfredo Alcala.

Priest had been the book's regular writer since Conan #172 in 1985, and he was winding down his run here by wrapping up some loose ends. For one, although the Devourer of Souls had been defeated (sort of) around issue #200, his winged horse was still on the loose. Waiting for his master, the horse didn't like people any more than the Devourer did, and was taking it out on anyone that he happened upon. He had also taken over all the local horses into his herd; which puts Conan in a bind when he's ready to ride the hell out of the Kothian city-state Syreb. Although he had friends there, it was time to move on; and his relationship with warrior woman Anneka was over: she had thought Conan had cheated on her with the young former harem girl Sevante and became involved with the prince Kobe. They both felt pretty guilty about that, especially considering Conan had not cheated. Conan doesn't seem to hold a grudge, though.

Forced to face the dark horse if he wanted any steed, Conan gets himself ready for the hunt, and is impressed by the beast's cunning. After a mighty struggle, Conan manages to choke out the horse in mid-air, and is knocked out in the fall, but awakens to discover he earned the horse's respect. He considers the horse just an animal, not a devil, and was going to ride out on him...

...until the local prince's men fill the horse full of arrows! I'm pissed just reading this, so you'd think Conan would be full of murderous rage. Instead, he's merely steamed that he led the poor thing to slaughter, but does have to admit "magical beasts have no place in the world of civilized men." With a new, plain horse; Conan bids his companions farewell, and rides off to new adventures. But he would see one of them shortly...Huh, I thought the next issue was Priest's last, but no, he would be on until #213.
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That's crazy, everyone knows Black Orchid's origin is...um...

Honestly, I'm not sure Black Orchid had a dozen appearances at that point. Did she even appear in Crisis? (Yes!) Well, she's in today's book as well: from 1985, Blue Devil Annual #1, "The Day All Hell Broke Loose" Written by Gary Cohn and Dan Mishkin, pencils by Paris Cullins, inks by Gary Martin and Bill Collins.

Lost and confused, reporter Jack Ryder finds himself being chased by the Man-Bat! Ducking into a mysterious-but-conveniently-open shop, Jack meets both Madame Xanadu, and the Phantom Stranger; who seem to have a little tiff over who has jurisdiction. That doesn't go very far, before Etrigan the Demon also shows up. Meanwhile, in California, Blue Devil is testing some new special effects robots for the upcoming Blue Devil II movie; when of course they start to rampage, courtesy of Felix Faust, who is after something in Dan Cassidy's workshop. BD tries to fight the robots without damaging them--they were $2 million a piece!--before Etrigan shows up to 'help,' smashing them to bits. After a brief encounter with Faust, Etrigan ends up with the bauble he had been looking for, and refers to it as an egg!

Meanwhile, in a cab there, Ryder tells Xanadu his portion of the story: the Creeper and Man-Bat had been taken over by Faust, but changing back into Ryder broke the control. Xanadu and Creeper free Man-Bat, while the Demon is positively drooling at the first egg, which spills out little monsters that he finds delicious. The Stranger gives an enchanted butterfly net to Blue Devil to gather up the creatures; while Xanadu does the same for the Creeper in NYC, but the creatures lump into one big one! Luckily, the Black Orchid arrives to help. Confused, Creeper asks Xanadu about her, and Xanadu dishes the previously unknown origin of the mysterious crimefighter:

The heroes join up in the desert (although, Orchid apparently arrives separately, under her own power) to stop Faust, who takes control of Blue Devil briefly. Black Orchid arrives in time to seemingly drop Faust off a mesa; and BD asks the Stranger about her, so he spills:

Those both seem familiar somehow...After Faust is finally beat, the Creeper suggests maybe they were all there for a reason, and suggests maybe they make the team-up a regular thing. It goes over like the proverbial lead balloon; but the name probably didn't help.

I guess if they had called Justice League Dark "John Constantine's Mystic Punters" that wouldn't have caught on either. Although she would have a few appearances with the Suicide Squad, it would be three more years before Black Orchid would get an origin, courtesy of Neil Gaiman.
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