Tuesday, April 19, 2022

Aw, I don't like when What If? doesn't have the Watcher intros--hey!

The host role isn't 100% necessary, but "Tempus Fuginaut" really feels like a placeholder name that made it to the final draft. Why not use, say, Waverider? Or a new alternate Waverider, even?  From 2021, Tales from the Dark Multiverse: Wonder Woman: War of the Gods #1, written by Vita Ayala, art by Ariel Olivetti. (Pics today, this wouldn't fit in the scanner!)

Not unlike some What If? stories, these "Tales from the Dark Multiverse" appeared to take a crossover or big event and see how it could have played out differently. Differently as in badly; as implied by the name, I think they all go straight to "and everyone died" territory pretty quickly. What If? had enough issues it could occasionally change it up and show the universe where everything came out great; which would actually be the darkest multiverse because it might be the least fun to read about afterwards...
Anyway, while we've looked at War of the Gods before, that's a tough one for this because I know I've read it but I completely forgot the witch-goddess Hecate was in it. Possibly because I know nothing of Hecate, despite her also being a major character in Hellboy: blind spot for me, there. In this universe, instead of being defeated Hecate's oddly-worded prophecy leads to her taking over Wonder Woman after Circe's death: "Upon the death of witch and the birth of witch, Hecate, by name and choice, shall repossess her soul." (If I had to guess, I think as a kid I read sanitized versions of those myths, so I don't think Hecate got a lot of play.) Diana is able to bury Hecate inside her mind or soul at first, but Phobos, in the guise of an American general, puts "plan B" into place. He orders "loyal" troops to murder "traitors" Steve Trevor and Etta Candy, then bomb Paradise Island, killing Hippolyta.
After questioning a captured pilot with her magic lasso, Diana confronts the general, who reveals himself immediately and gives up his plan; because that was all he needed to tip Diana into despair and give Hecate control. Together, they murder the Greek gods, somewhat grossly, but Hecate is disappointed that they didn't seem to have a lot of juice in them: Phobos explains they were powered by worship, but weren't worshipped anymore, super-heroes were. Better start killing them, then! It doesn't take long: there's a brief, and honestly more interesting, page of the Amazons also in despair. They were refugees, hated and distrusted, but also sexually harassed a lot in man's world. I thought the average Amazon was like, way stronger than Joe Sixpack? Which probably would've led to more problems: "Local Amazon cat-called, twelve hospitalized, film at 11." Circe moves Paradise Island to Washington, D.C. in a bit that's a little unclear, because it seems like she set it on part of the city, which should make Superman and Batman a little less inclined to just want to talk to her.
Hecate kills a bunch of heroes, mostly like Palapatine in Episode 3, one-hit kills; before the mystic types and the avatars (including Hawkwoman and Lobo) stop her, apparently also dying. Zatanna, Captain Atom, and Big Barda might be the only survivors? That earth's boned, but good on the Captain not getting blow'd up. Hecate is chained up, but Phobos was still out there; and the world doesn't just turn on Amazons but on women in general, as well as super-heroes, but there's still hope...somewhere? Maybe? I'm not feeling it.



1 comment:

Mr. Morbid's House Of Fun said...

The best thing I can say about this as I read it too as well as a bunch of those other Dark Multiverse stories, is that at least it looked good. They mostly sucked & suffered from VERY lazy writing. Lois getting revenge on ALL superheroes & villains bc they "let" Superman die? I did like the HUSH one but that's about it. I'm not 100% sure it would've gotten as bad as this, as a good bit of this hinged upon certain characters being too dumb or gullible to see what's going on or simply have ridiculous scenarios take place that don't match up with logic at all.

Still, at least it had Ariel Olivetti art, and I always enjoy his work.