JLApe part eight, Martian Manhunter Annual #2, "Fear and Loathing on the Planet of the Apes"

That is a pretty good title, there. The last chapter of JLApe begins with J'onn J'onzz telling of his time in the wild, not merely observing, but living with the apes. In the form of an ape, J'onn observes the anthropologists observing the apes, until poachers kill both while J'onn is away. Experiencing "the intensely focused madness of primate rage," J'onn holds back and instead telepathically induces in the poachers a compulsion to confess.

From the whole experience, and humanity's "persistant misrepresentation" of other primates in movies, TV, and comics; J'onn attributes it to a subconscious projection of man's brutal nature to their innocent monkey relatives. "In the ape," J'onn realizes, "Mankind sees a reflection of itself as it would be if freed from the constraints of civilization."

It's usually safe to say, J'onn has a unique perspective on things. But he does cop to overphilosophizing about the current gorilla invasion, and he beams up to the JLA Watchtower, to confer with Batman. J'onn and Bats are both a little snarky today, but they both may have been up for days at this point. While Bats catches the rest of the JLA up, J'onn sets out to get some intel on Grodd, and Aquaman is still pursuing the apes' sub Kong. The Kong opens fire on an American sub, and even though they're apes, the American apes move to retaliate.

As detective John Jones, the Martian Manhunter interviews Detective Chimp, Monsieur Mallah, Congorilla, and Sam Simeon of Angel and the Ape. (That last one, J'onn meets as the Manhunter, since he knows Sam is a fan.) All three tell of Grodd's brutal ambition, but Sam admits when he chose to leave Gorilla City and become a comic-book artist, his brother Grodd was the only one to support him.

In Africa, the JLA evacuates Gorilla City, and J'onn shows up after piecing the puzzle together: Grodd has been turning people into gorillas, because he can siphon off their mental energies. Grodd gives J'onn the monkey equivalent of a slow-clap for figuring it out, because by this point Grodd's sucking the juice of several million gorillas...that line didn't turn out right. Grodd forces J'onn into his pointy-headed mode ('Gumby') but J'onn just takes it, "venerating in the presence of a superior mind." He professes his admiration for Grodd and his courage, in sacrificing his ego and transcending the material universe.

Grodd has no idea what that's about, and J'onn explains he won't just be absorbing all that mental energy, Grodd will become "the foundation of a wonderful syncretic collective." Grodd will lose his identity, to a larger gorilla group mind; and Grodd didn't sign up for that crap: he rejects the power, and goes into shock.

Aaaaand the rest is all clean-up: Ulgo apologizes to the JLA, and pledges to work for peace in Solovar's name. Steel and Batman write up the plans for a "de-apifying resonator" that Green Lantern can make with his ring and restore humanity. And J'onn admits that everything he told Grodd was a lie, since he knew anyone with an ego like his would never be able to give it up.

Scans from Martian Manhunter Annual #2, "Fear and Loathing on the Planet of the Apes" Written by Len Kaminski, pencils by Gus Vasquez, inks by Mark Propst and Claude St. Aubin.

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JLApe part seven: Green Lantern Annual #8, "Grunts"

Green Lantern Annual #8, "Grunts" Written by Keith Giffen, pencils by Octavio Cariello and John Nadeau, inks by Marcello Campos and Jordi Ensign. Bit of an odd one, here: back in part one, Kyle was turned into an ape, and left when the JLA split up to investigate, without any mental treatment from the Martian Manhunter. So, Kyle's mind backslides a bit, and he sides with the apes, joining a unit of ape soldiers.

Even though their new recruit is a human-turned-ape, the apes are pretty accepting of Kyle. Not unlike his status with the JLA, he's the rookie there as well, and they walk him through and explain events to him. Kyle is just another "grunt," a lowly ape footsoldier, even though he's got the mightiest weapon in the universe on his finger. Just as J'onn dropped the ball letting Kyle go without treatment; the apes don't pick up the fumble, failing to capitalize on it. (Ape Kyle would use his ring a little, but not to the extent you'd expect.)

Guy Gardner and Alan Scott appear, as Warrior and Sentinel respectively. They don't seem particularly worried that Kyle's 'gone ape,' over to the other side. In fairness, if you get bent out of shape about a little thing like that, you're probably not going to cope very well with a real emergency...

The Metal Men are also present, and Giffen may be the only writer to use Dr. Magnus as Veridium--he was turned into a robot or something, it didn't catch on. I think the weekly book 52 retconned that into a halluncination by Magnus, but here Veridium is. Guy asks him what it's like making out with a metal chick; which does seem a fair question.

Eventually, J'onn uses his telepathy to shock Kyle back to normal; but he has to go pretty deeply into Kyle's mind, almost having to force him to want to be human again. Kyle seems to feel like he betrayed his ape teammates, who end up in an ape POW camp, which thankfully doesn't appear to be a zoo with a different sign.

Next week? Martian Manhunter #2, the conclusion of JLApe!
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JLApe part six: Superman Annual #11, "The Apes of Wrath"...again!

Seriously, shouldn't an editor say something, when two annuals, consecutive parts in the story, use the same title?

We're up to the Superman chapter of JLApe: thankfully, just one. In some annual crossover events, like Armegeddon: 2001, there would be the Superman Annual, then one for Action Comics, Adventures of Superman, even maybe Superman: the Man of Steel. And one chapter of this should do it...

The late Solovar's successor as ruler of Gorilla City, Ulgo, is gung-ho to battle the filthy humans. Something called 'Grogamesh' is coming to help him out with that. Meanwhile, while the apes have turned a lot of humans into apes (and putting them on their side) the military has not been targeted, meaning they can counterattack.

Meanwhile, reporting for Lexcorp, Lois Lane is not terribly impressed with the newsworthiness of the ape invasion: if you can see it out your window, why would she have to write about it? Instead, she's checking out the tape of Solovar's assassination, and notices a distortion not unlike the apes' apeifying weapons. I am going to make 'apeify' a word if it kills me.

Lois goes out and finds Superman, who is still an ape, and starting to lose control. She takes him to Professor Hamilton's for help, but he's been changed as well. When Lois mentions looking for something that would work on his "solar metabolism," Supes jumps to the conclusion the sun itself would do it, and flies out of the atmosphere, gets zapped, and falls into the river.

Not knowing how she can help, Lois gets to the river, in time to see Supes arise, as a giant ape! With apeifying vision! And then Supes eats her.

Well, not really, to any of that: Superman returns from space, restored. The giant ape is the aforementioned Grogamesh, and it's really a giant battle robot. It opens fire with enough firepower to level Metropolis, or at least knock Superman on his butt. Lois is inside, the prisoner of Ulgo, who's piloting the robot; in a much-less exciting manner than you'd expect: Grogamesh is magically-empowered, so Ulgo doesn't seem to have to do much besides sit in his chair and growl speeches.

When Grogamesh attacks the Pentagon, during the fight Superman points out that Grogamesh had been made "using the hides of a thousand slaughtered gorillas!" Which burned right off early into the attack, too. Ulgo had been tricked by Grodd and his conspirators, and tries to stop the robot, but loses control. Superman gets Lois and Ulgo out, then takes apart the mighty battle robot, magic or no. All's well that ends--hey, wait a second...


That may well be the best page in this whole crossover, right there. Scans from "The Apes of Wrath" Written by Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning, pencils by Joe Phillips, inks by Rich Faber and Rob Stull. Next week: Green Lantern Annual #8!
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JLApe part five: Flash Annual #12, "The Apes of Wrath"

This issue, and the rest of JLApe, was set during a transitional period for Flash comics. Wally had apparently disappeared (for about the fiftieth time) and the current Flash's identity was a mystery. Mystery-Flash revealed his identity to Old Flash Jay Garrick, who would vouch for him with everyone else; and Superman would do the same for the JLA. None of this really matters, since Mystery-Flash is a gorilla for a good chunk of this story; I'm mentioning it in case you're wondering why his suit looks different.

This is also when there were multiple super-speedsters running around the DCU: senior members Jay Garrick and Max Mercury, junior rookie Impulse, and Jesse Quick, the girl. The four are chasing Flashorilla, who lures them into a trap; and Gorilla Grodd, out on the front lines for the first time in JLApe, has them turned into apes. In fact, all over Central City, apes in hard hats are turning the populace into apes.

Grodd plans on using the speedsters to power his huge, satellite ape-ray, and places them all on treadmills. "Chimpulse" is having problems, though. Unlike his usual hyperactivity, he's got "existential ennui," and seems to recall Grodd's son trying to kill him back in the prologue of this thing. Unfortunately, he's distracted by bananas, and starts running.

At Central City police headquarters, scientist Angela Margolin continues Central's proud tradition of the police scientists being the only useful members of the force: seemingly trapped, she escapes with a homemade flamethrower and steals an ape flier.

Meanwhile, Chimpulse's ennui is acting up again: he doesn't think the apes should be fighting the natural order and trying to rise up. Grodd's scientists try to force him back to work, and the speedsters rally around their own. Flash and Impulse also manage to restore themselves to normal, by vibrating through a wall, their molecules went back to where they're supposed to...

Hey, an ad for a Sony MD minidisc player! I still have one, and love it. So what if it's antiquated...I'm keeping it, my VCR, my Flintstones car...

Anyway, the satellite weapon has enough juice now to fire, but the Flash overloads it, forcing Grodd to flee. He picks up a psionic amplifier his ladies had been working on for him, and fights Flash to a standstill, before Angela hits him with her flier. Grodd takes Angela hostage, and starts climbing the tower...because tradition, that's why. The tower isn't in good shape either, since apparently Grodd was trying to power the ray with pure Speed Force, as opposed to the electricity you could generate with five super-speedsters running on treadmill-generators. Flash grabs Angela, and offers to save Grodd, who of course would rather die...or escape on his own.

The other speedsters having returned to normal, Central City is still full of apes; and the heroes are left to wonder if Grodd's satellite was charged or not. A battle is won...but not the war.

Most of the Flash comics I've read have been post-Crisis, with Wally; and for some reason I thought Grodd was 'dead' for a lot of that time. I really haven't read a lot of comics with Gorilla Grodd, and have probably seen more Super Friends and Justice League cartoons with him.

Five double-page spreads this issue, or close to it: one has a narrow panel of the Flash running up a wall. The effect makes the whole issue seem to fly by. I like Doug Braithwaite's art, but he's improved by leaps and bounds since this issue. Scans from "The Apes of Wrath" Written by Brian Augustyn, pencils by Doug Braithwaite, inks by Robin Riggs. Next time: Superman Annual #11!
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JLApe part four: Wonder Woman Annual #8, "The Thin Gold Line"

We're just about up to the halfway point of JLApe, and I don't want you to think I'm petering out, but today's will probably be the shortest writeup. Partly, because I'm doing it mostly from memory, and partly because it wasn't very good: Wonder Woman Annual #8, "The Thin Gold Line" Written by Doselle Young, pencils by Brian Denham, inks by Jon Sibal.

Briefly: a rank-and-file, "normal" talking ape narrates, as the ape witch Abu-Gita leads a confusing mission: apparently, they're going to go through the Amazons' island of Thymscara, to Olympus, and the lands of mythology; in the hopes of freeing the Rakhasas, demons of ape lore, to use in the war against humans. But the Rakhasas aren't ape lore, they're part of Hindu myth: the narrator has realized that somehow, the apes' entire belief system has been cobbled together from human sources, like the writings of H.P. Lovecraft. Yet somehow, because the apes believe it, they're able (or at least willing) to travel across the river Styx and hijack the boatman Charon...

I have no idea what the current, official answer is to the question, "How long as Gorilla City been there?" This issue says a hundred years or so, previous stories have said "eons," and we mentioned that Green Lantern story where the Gorillas are really aliens.

The ape-ifyed Wonder Woman is there, but shortly reverts back to normal. To avoid using 'somehow' again, it's because she's not a "baseline human." Wonder Girl Cassie makes a brief appearance, former replacement-WW Artemis is there, so is Amazon librarian/historian/bookworm Shim'tar (she wears glasses in a couple of panels so you know), and so is Nu'bia. Who was patrolling hell, or something...

There's some lines about how reassuring and great Wonder Woman is, but I'm hard-pressed to tell you what she actually did this issue. There's a germ of an idea in the belief in a fake mythology taking a life of it's own; but it doesn't go anywhere. Not good. We'll take a second to flip through this again, anything else...?

Next week? Flash Annual #12! Read more!

JLApe part three: Aquaman Annual #5, "20,000 Apes Under the Sea!"

The individual chapters of JLApe came out weekly, and some of these annuals may have figured not everyone is going to read the whole event; so they needed a recap. The recaps lose something when you read the whole set in one sitting, but I can see why they were there.

This time around, the gorilla Admiral Trafalgo and the sub Kong are on their way to Atlantis, to get the macguffin Eye of Poseidon, for their little ape master plan. Even apeified, Aquaman is still King of Atlantis, and he won't let that stand.

The apes attack Atlantis with their ape-rays, turning many of the rank-and-file citizens into water-breathing gorillas loyal to the cause. Mera, currently estranged from Aquaman but leading the palace guard, is able to block the rays with her hard-water powers, but Tempest and Vulko are turned into "sea-monkeys." Look, she said it, I didn't.

Arthur arrives on a whale, and starts taking it to the Kong, then the unfortunate whale is apeified. (It can still breathe underwater, but that can't be...comfortable.) Trafalgo's crew cheers, but he states he's merely doing his duty; he doesn't want to mess with the whales. Arthur then saves Mera. For himself.

He's not just king of the sea, Arthur is also prime ape! In establishing his dominance by claiming Mera, Tempest challenges him...because that's what apes do in DC Comics, that's why. They sure as hell can't fling poop at each other...and I don't know how that would work underwater anyway. It is kind of weird that they're basically fighting over Mera, when Tempest's knocked-up girlfriend (wife?) Dolphin is right there. Dol and Mera break up the fight, before they and Aquaman are forced to flee, leaving the dazed Tempest behind.

While the heroes regroup at the old Aquacave, Trafalgo kills an Atlantean as an example, forcing Tempest to get the Eye, a giant emerald-thing. Aquaman arrives with the trident of Poseidon as "a symbol of my office," and rallies Tempest and the citizens. Playing a hunch, Arthur channels the power of the trident, through the eye--a guess, since the apes planned on using it for a big ape-making ray--and restores himself and the Atlanteans to normal. It even turns the apes that were outside the ship into Atlanteans! Arthur welcomes his new citizens, before attacking the Kong again.

Trafalgo is forced to electrify the ship's hull, then retreat. Aquaman gives Mera the trident, then takes off after them. And now I'm wondering if that whale-ape was returned to normal, or if it's still floundering around down there, trying to stuff krill in its head-holes...

There are some things about Aquaman comics (or Namor the Sub-Mariner, or any underwater story) that are going to be dicey as a given: unless there's some in-story reason for it, for example, wouldn't the bottom of the sea or an underwater city like Atlantis be dark as hell? But this issue has a big one: apes, particularly gorillas, can't swim! I had to look that up, since I vaguely recalled it from a Planet of the Apes movie. (Possibly the terrible remake?) Now, I can buy Aqua-ape being OK under the water, but submersion would have to be fundamentally terrifying for even intelligent apes. 'Sea-monkeys' indeed.

Today's scans from "20,000 Apes Under the Sea!" Written by John Ostrander, 'delineated' by M.D. Bright, 'made legible' by Dick Giordano. So far, I think this is the best chapter of JLApe! Will it keep that position against next week's installment, Wonder Woman Annual #8?

Yeah. Yeah, it will. See you then!

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JLApe part two: Batman Annual #23, "Jungle Rules"!

This chapter of JLApe has a strong pedigree: writer Chuck Dixon and artist Graham Nolan were regulars on the Bat-books. I'm not sure about the opening, though: Batman and Nightwing question the survivor of a mob hit, laid up in the hospital. The hitter was a huge, suited figure, who fired an anti-tank weapon into a mob meeting. Batman has a pretty good idea what's going on as he heads for the crime scene, but is all Johnny Tightlips with Nightwing.

After Bats and Nightwing leave, Lady Vic has her own questions for the hit survivor. I don't know much about her, but she's the honorable bad guy gunslinger, as near as I can tell. The hired gun you get with you can't afford Deathstroke but don't want a gun-psycho like Deadshot...

Bats and Nightwing check out the crime scene, which is chock-full of really big handprints, unusual fibers, and an odd odor. All of which would be interesting, if Batman didn't already know gorillas were coming to Bludhaven. This shouldn't be a surprise for him, unless maybe he just didn't want to assume: Bludhaven is pretty crime-infested, really. And there's no reason to keep Nightwing in the dark, either.

Meanwhile, a week ago, two Pulp Fiction styled gorillas are getting burgers in Bludhaven, getting ready to watch and see if Grimm's up to something he shouldn't be...

Lady Vic takes her information to Bludhaven's crime boss (and Nightwing's main villain for a good long chunk of his series) Blockbuster. Vic points out the giant shooter could well have been him, but BB isn't feeling tip-top, and is wearing a EKG monitor for a heart condition. He implies that he's working on it, as he puts Vic to work checking out a name on the hit list.

At Nightwing's...NightwingCave, a partially-converted garage; Oracle gives the boys the info on the fibers: gorilla. It's a surprise for Dick, but not for anyone else. At the same time, gorilla crime boss Grimm is leaning on George, one of Blockbuster's men, regarding a container ship coming into town. Batman and Nightwing knew George was at the mob hit but walked away, since Grimm was putting the scare on him: after a scuffle, Grimm escapes lugging George over his shoulder.

The Jules and Vern gorillas go to Grimm's place to wait for him, but are cut to pieces by Lady Vic, who initially believes them to merely be wearing masks. She calls it in, and Blockbuster is watching a recap of JLApe to date on TV. Everyone ends up out at the container ship for a showdown. Grimm makes two mistakes: trying to take Batman hand-to-hand, and letting George fire a molecular disruptor, with which he blows a good-sized hole in the boat. As Blockbuster fights Grimm, Bats and Nightwing abandon the sinking ship, with Dick winkingly suggesting that Lady Vic get out while the getting's good. (Dick has a couple asides to her, that make them seem rather chummy.)

Blockbuster and Lady Vic of course escape as well, dragging Grimm in tow. (Things aren't looking good for George...) Vic wonders why Blockbuster would save the gorilla that tried to take over his town, but Blockbuster seems to have an idea...that would come into play in Nightwing.

Not terrible, but the CSI stuff isn't necessary: we know it's gorillas, Batman knows it's gorillas, and it was on TV, so Nightwing should accept it more quickly than not. And the Pulp Fiction bit is thankfully stifled before going overlong. There is something to be said for Batman's wry smile here: he doesn't seem like he's having that bad of a time, and he is the only Justice Leaguer not covered in fur today. Still, JLApe isn't exactly winning me over yet. Scans today from "Jungle Rules" Written by Chuck Dixon, pencils by Graham Nolan, and inks by Mark Pennington. Next week: Aquaman Annual #5!

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JLApe part one, JLA Annual #3, "Gorilla Warfare"!

JLA Annual #3, "Gorilla Warfare" opens with Solovar, longtime good leader of Gorilla City, ending the super-intelligent apes policy of isolation, so they can join the United Nations and work on solutions for the problems facing man and ape alike. And Solovar gets assassinated inside of two weeks, killed by a car bomb--shortly after name-dropping 'actress' Silver St. Cloud, who was never an actress in her appearances in Detective Comics. It's not a good start, bringing up a character from a classic story, but badly...

Thankfully, on the next page, Lois Lane, and Chase and Sarge Steel, are all dealing with the fallout of Solovar's death. In Gorilla City, as anti-human sentiment rises, Solovar's nephew Ulgo takes the reins of power; but he's the puppet of sinister apes Abu-Gita the sorceress, Admiral Trafalgo the naval captain, Grimm the crime boss, and General Zolog. All of whom are obviously the puppets of longtime DC baddie Gorilla Grodd, because duh. (It's not intended to be a surprise, and we saw him in the prologue last week!)

The next phase in Grodd's plan? Superman, Wonder Woman, Aquaman, and the Flash are invited to Gorilla City, as intermediaries for peace. (The Flash at the time, may or may not have been Wally: in a red and silver costume, his identity was at the time unknown, even though Superman vouched for him.) They are attacked almost immediately upon arriving, but it's a distraction, so the apes can use their...gorilla gas! Whatever it is, it turns the heroes, and the Martian Manhunter (who had been there invisibly, as backup) into apes and turns them to the apes' side! J'onn stays himself, though, and telepathically is able to restore the others' minds...for now.

Still apes, they return to the JLA Watchtower, where new GL Kyle is momentarily convinced that they're messing with him.

Batman and J'onn study a captured 'gorillabomb,' and Bats realizes the circuitry and gas don't really do anything: they're a figurative smokescreen, and the bomb works with a crystal that affects the earth's morphogenetic field. Sound familiar?

Animal Man! This might be Buddy's first post-Vertigo appearance...maybe. I have nothing to back that up. Buddy is also apparently tripping out something fierce, when J'onn shows up as a big green monkey, which doesn't help.

The apes' alterations and tampering with the morphogenetic field has been affecting Buddy's mind, and writer Len Kaminski seems to take this as an opportunity to try and write off some of the more...abstract Animal Man stories. (Or, to take the piss out of Grant Morrison's work on the character, and all of the Vertigo run? That may not be intentional, but that's the impression.)

Meanwhile, back at the Watchtower, the ape Leaguers are staging courting rituals, the dominant male fighting for Wonder Woman. "Best not to dwell on it," says Batman, who doesn't break eye contact with a super-mad Superape. (That would've been seen as weakness, and Supes would've torn him apart.)

The situation worsens, when Ulgo goes to speak in front of the United Nations general assembly, and promptly declares war on humanity. But Ulgo plans a war without bloodshed, since they'll be using the gorilla-gas to turn humans into apes. The UN, and Green Lantern are gassed, and mayhem ensues. J'onn and Bats have figured out how to reverse the effect (and Batman has managed to avoid being changed) but they can only change a certain amount, and the JLA themselves would put them over the weight limit. By 2.37 tons, which I guess might be their gorilla weight.

Fittingly, the two-page spread there, is interrupted by a fold-out ad, for Playstation game Ape Escape. That ad would show up a few more times in the crossover, but I couldn't tell you if it was intentional...I'd say no.

The UN restored to humanity, the apes and Ulgo are still free, since they had "diplomatic immunity." Which I'm pretty sure doesn't work like that, but whatever. J'onn had performed a quick mind-scan, though; and had the apes' other targets: Themyscira, Atlantis, Central City, Bludhaven, Metropolis, and low earth orbit. The team splits up to investigate, but Batman stays behind to ask J'onn what he was holding back from the others. J'onn's worried that the others could revert to gorilla mind-set at any time, particularly Kyle, who was just turned. He also turns invisible and ditches Bats, not unlike the way Batman is constantly disappearing around Commissioner Gordon.

This is nowhere near in the league (boo!) of Grant Morrison's JLA, which I want to say was just about done when JLApe came out. From GCD: JLA Annual #3 was published September 1999; that same month was a Mark Waid issue. Morrison's last storyline, World War III was a couple of months out.

That said, it's not a terrible start, here: for every touch of the DC universe that doesn't quite fit, there's another that does. And I thought the art was pretty solid throughout: not mindblowing, but straightforward and pretty clear storytelling. The ape jokes don't do a lot for me, though. When he's turned into a gorilla, Kyle seemingly turns directly to the camera and says "It's a madhouse...a madhouse!" That feels like a reference I should get, but nothing. And of course, I only paid a buck an issue for these...

Scans today from JLA Annual #3, written by Len Kaminski, pencils by Jason Orfalas, inks by Jordi Ensign. Next week: Batman Annual #23!
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JLApe Prelude: "Manchester Monkey Business"

Oh, geez, this is going to be tougher than I thought...longtime readers will remember that not only do I not especially share DC Comics love of apes, generally they creep me out; thanks to an early childhood viewing of Beneath the Planet of the Apes. Luckily, this issue starts out with Impulse, who's not my favoritest character ever, but he's fun and can ease us into this. You can see him in the panel above, thinking, "Brain," as the narration builds up the creep factor on student Gordon Matthews.


Meanwhile, at the...Manchester Monkey Business School (that pause there was me nearly quitting this) Impulse and Max Mercury are investigating the disappearance of a gorilla, two chimpanzees, and an orangutan. At super-speed, Impulse mounts a search but finds nothing. That night, as Bart leaves for a friend to study for a chemistry test (since Gordon is wrecking the curve) Max feels something wrong with the Speed Force.

Super-fast monkeys, giving France (and elsewhere) the business? Terrifying. Max sets off chasing them around the globe, realizing they're tapping the Speed Force somehow. And somewhere, someone's clamoring for Xong Tsai, super-fast panda, to get his own book or miniseries...

Meanwhile, Bart leaves his friend Carol's, but realizes he left his books behind. Returning, he finds his friend Preston tied up, and Carol kidnapped by Gordon. Bart leaves to get Impulse, which I'm pretty sure never fooled anyone: how many kids in town could have that hair? Or giant feet? Still thinking of chemistry, Impulse checks the chem lab at school first:

Impulse rushes in, but Gordon has "the entire room blanketed with an anti-speed forcefield," which would be the end of Impulse and Flash comics. Those things would be up everywhere. Gordon explains that he and Bart--he knows Impulse is Bart Allen--have been enemies since before they were born; and that Bart is a worthy foe, since he wasn't lured away by the super-fast monkeys...that Bart never saw. Gordon reveals himself as...Gorbul Mammit! I said, Gorbul Mammit!...nothing? How about, the son of Gorilla Grodd! There's a little better name recognition.

Perhaps not quite grasping the import of that, Impulse asks if Gorbul stole the gorilla from the monkey school, and Gorbul indignantly explains that she is going to be her bride...as soon as he upgrades her with Carol's brainwaves. While explaining his plan, the 'bride' tries to eat a banana-colored plug, killing the power...and the anti-speed field. Impulse pretty much kicks Gorbul's ass after that: while not especially strong, he can hit him about a million times a second, so that's pretty much game.

Gorbul does escape, teleporting out with his bride, leading to this eye-scarring panel:

Yeah, you're welcome. Anyway, Grodd makes a cameo, clucking his tongue at his boy for thinking too small...

This one doesn't have a helluva lot to do with the rest of the JLApe storyline, and I couldn't even guess if Gorbul returned since. Still, I do kinda miss Impulse: man, DC dropped the ball trying to make him Flash or Kid Flash or dead or whatever. I personally see a straight-line of character development from Impulse's no-attention span cheerful apathy to the bitter omnipresent impatience of Marvel's Quicksilver; so I guess it's kind of tough for Bart to grow at all as a character without wrecking him.

Today's scans from Legends of the DC Universe #19, written by Jason Hernandez-Rosenblatt, pencils by Pop Mhan, inks by Romeo Tanghal. Next week: JLA Annual #3, part one of JLApe!

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In other news, I'm not made of stone.

The other day, Tuesday in this case; I worked some overtime, that I was not prepared for on any level. I was planning on a nice long walk after work, I still had to go to the bank, I hadn't brought any food, and I really didn't want to work very hard.

After I was done though, since I had to go get dog food anyway, I hit the Comic Book Shop. There were a few new books I wanted: American Vampire, Bob Layton's new Hercules (with Ron Lim!), the new Thanos thing...and then a ton of cheap books. "Quarter books" is a misnomer anymore, since they were mostly a buck a pop, but so much goodness.

Some John Carter, Warlord of Mars stuff (since Slay, Monstrobot of the Deep brought it up the other day...), the "Spock the Barbarian" issue of Marvel's Star Trek, the first and last issues of Marvel's Further Adventures of Indiana Jones, most of DC's Silver Age event. That last one I lost a couple years back, and I think I fished it out of the quarter bins at the time then too.

And all of DC's 1999 Annual event: JLApe! Including Legends of the DC Universe #19, the prelude featuring Impulse! I somehow missed or skipped this one the first time around, and I don't recall ever hearing anything good about it, but for a dollar an issue? Who could resist? Well, lots of people, yeah; that was a rhetorical.

I haven't even cracked the first issue yet, so here's the plan: every Thursday, I'm going to blog my way through JLApe. Starting next week, since I think I'm going to play Lego Star Wars for a bit...
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