Having "Smash" across his chest may have a different connotation nowadays...

We blogged the second appearance of Flag-Smasher some years back, and the character had a lot going for him: his own terrorist organization, ULTIMATUM; thematically perfect costuming and accessories--black and white, like his anti-nationalist viewpoint; and a mace in case that was too subtle. But he would soon hit some setbacks: ULTIMATUM had secretly been sponsored, and largely controlled, by the Red Skull. He and his faceless goons would get forgettable beatings, like faceless goons, in books like Marc Spector: Moon Knight and Ghost Rider. And his message was too often muddied or outright dropped by the wayside, because his violent pursuit of a unified world might not have been real thought out anyway. All of which pales next to his redesign today! From 1999, Captain America '99, "Full Court Press" Written by Joe Casey, pencils by Pablo Raimondi, inks by Walden Wong.

Two cub reporters for the Daily Bugle are put on a story, starting with a suspect's arraignment for a break-in and murder at the United Nations: three men had been attempting to get some information, but their fourth killed a guard and spray-painted "NO MORE DISUNITY--ANTI-NATIONALISM NOW" on a wall. Said fourth man also had an almost negative color scheme, and the word "SMASH" on his chest. After the reporters' initial story is published, they're dismayed when their notes are taken, thinking J.Jonah Jameson was pulling them off it; but confronting JJJ, they meet Captain America! Cap had asked to see the notes, in case there was anything that didn't make print, since "the slogans found on the wall set off some alarm bells for me." Cap's already pretty sure this was Flag-Smasher, but what was he doing...?

The reporters keep on, following leads to the Brand Corporation, which had been a crooked subsidiary of crooked corporation Roxxon. Which is, of course, using Flag-Smasher as a living weapon. A kind of low-end one, though: Smashy didn't have super-strength or anything, and was in fact largely brain-damaged after a long dip in icy waters. But he was controllable with drugs, and it might help that Roxxon's president shares his anti-nationalist views. (I doubt Flag-Smasher would have been as virulently predatory capitalist, though.) Having the two spies involved in the break-in killed, the president sends Flag-Smasher after the one in police custody: I get the feeling the president just liked his new toy and wanted to use it, but it doesn't seem like the best tool for the job there. He also gives an interview with the reporters and is straight-up Monty Burns style evil; but that seemed like he was old and wanted to show these kids how things really worked, like their naiveté or dumbness was just too tiring for him.

Disguised as a prison guard, Cap keeps an eye on the jailed spy; at least long enough to overhear his conversation with the reporters; he's shanked the next day. (They don't use the term "shanked," which seems a missed opportunity: I love it, it's so descriptive.) Since it's down to the reporters word against Roxxon's, they might be in danger, but Cap gives them a pep talk to stick it out. A really long pep talk. JJJ backs them as well, so the Roxxon president sends Flag-Smasher--in a monstrously heavy looking turbine jetpack--to the Bugle to kill them. Cap saves them, after a fair amount of property damage. The implicated president resigns, collecting the usual "golden parachute" severance. At least one of the reporters is a bit crestfallen, but Cap puts him back on track; except I was distracted since I swear that the reporter looked like the pot-smoker from those "Fast Lane" inserts.

This is from that golden age before anyone threw the term "fake news" around; although the president tells Flag-Smasher he "will not tolerate more lies in the press," even though the story was pretty accurate. Not a high point for Flag-Smasher; but I'm not sure he ever got back to his old look: per Wikipedia, he might've been killed, possibly off-panel, by Domino of all people.
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Today, an unhinged President raises the threat of nuclear annihilation!...in this comic.

Hoo boy, this felt too on the nose when I picked it up last week; this week it doesn't seem funny at all. Then again, I'm not sure there were a lot of jokes in this one anyway: from 2001, The Adventures of Superman #597, "Rubber Crutch" Written by Joe Casey, art by Derec Aucoin.

This issue, there's more than a little voters' remorse in Smallville, as President Luthor is becoming increasingly erratic, starting with a cross-country campaign tour for his re-election--barely a year into his term! Which is primarily a smoke screen, to get him into position to launch a series of nuclear missiles! Admittedly, this president has an excuse: he's been infected by the Joker, as part of the Last Laugh crossover!

Superman has stop both the nukes, and the Lexbots VP Pete Ross had to send out to bring Luthor in; and Luthor is turned into S.T.A.R. Labs to be cured. Meanwhile, Pete makes another tough choice, and gives the kill order for the Joker...!

Looking over that checklist, the only book I think I bought from the entire crossover was Superboy #93, because it guest-starred the Creeper. I don't recall it being very good, though. No, I probably bought JLA #59, too. I think that was better than this one; but I tapped out of the rest of the storyline. It happens.
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Today, I review a hundred issues...sort of.

Sometimes, eBay delivers a second chance. In 2007, a company called Graphic Imaging Technology, Inc. had the license for Marvel Comics, and released six DVD-ROM's collecting 100-issue runs of Fantastic Four, Spider-Man, Avengers, Hulk, Ghost Rider, and today's selection, Uncanny X-Men.

I say second chance, since I remember seeing them in stores, but never bought one. I remember the price as being maybe fifteen bucks, but I'm not positive on that. The DVD-ROM's were one of those things I would see, mentally debate purchasing, but always put off: I had several of the issues in question, for one thing. Then one day they disappeared, possibly when Marvel took back their license, so they could sell the issues themselves at their Marvel Digital Comics Unlimited website. The GIT discs became either relics, or collector's items, depending: you can probably still get the Ghost Rider, FF, and maybe Hulk ones for a song. The others may cost you...

First up, GIT did a good job with the presentation: the menus are easy to use, and the issues are all scanned well. The issues are presented from cover to cover, including ads. The downside is...put bluntly, this run of issues isn't the best of Uncanny X-Men. It starts with #363 and runs to #474, plus four annuals.

#363 was from January 1999, written by Steve Seagle with art by Chris Bachalo...and was part three of the six-part storyline, "The Hunt for Xavier." Already we see a little problem with this collection: often, the X-Men books were interconnected. A story might start in the adjectiveless X-Men title, then alternate chapters with Uncanny. This DVD-ROM only gets two chapters of that particular six-parter, but that happens multiple times. I don't know if GIT is responsible for that error, or if they were only licensed for that stretch of books and did the best they could.

Putting aside the missing issues, what about the comics that are actually there? The first seventeen or so issues are from a strongly editorially-driven run of the book; and are entertaining if workmanlike. Alan Davis writes most of it, often with art by Adam Kubert. There's the X-Men's visit to Skrullworld right before Galactus eats it, Wolverine's "death" and transformation into a Horseman of Apocalypse, and the wrap-up of the eleven-year-old dangling plotline the Twelve. Then we get two chapters of the three-part High Evolutionary story, and then...Chris Claremont returns to the X-Men books.

Claremont took over on Uncanny X-Men #381, with Adam Kubert art, and a team consisting of Beast, Phoenix, Cable, Gambit, and Storm. But he would only stay on until #389, then Scott Lobdell would take a few before Joe Casey started his experimental, if not well-received run. (Casey discussed his Uncanny run recently, check it out.)

Then with #410, Chuck Austen took over, and would stay on the book until #443. Which means this DVD-ROM includes the seven-part Azazel storyline, "The Draco. Yay...if Casey's run wasn't "well-received," Austen's is somewhat reviled. Not entirely undeservedly.

Luckily, Claremont would return again with #444, and he brought Alan Davis with him. Yay! Davis seems to make everything better. This run isn't as...well, Claremonty as the second one; which makes it a bit more enjoyable. He would stay on until #473, but his last storyline would be wrapped up with Tony Bedard on script in #474, the last issue on the disc. (Ed Brubaker would take over on #475.)

Again, this 100-issue collection is by no means the best of Uncanny X-Men...but that pain is mitigated somewhat by the price. I paid about $27, which makes it about twenty-seven cents an issue. That forgives a lot of sins. You could read all those issues--and many, many, better ones--at Marvel Digital Comics Unlimited, but you would have to either subscribe for the month or the year, and you have to be online to access them. The DVD-ROM you can use whenever, and they are printable PDF's, so I suppose you could print off a copy of "The Draco" for someone in case they thought I was exaggerating about it. It may just come down to whether or not you can find a copy of the DVD-ROM on the cheap.

One more thing: in the Bullpen Bulletins in #363, in Stan's Soapbox, Stan Lee answers a question from me! There's your selling point right there!

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OK, this week's comics:

Anyone notice I only do these on slow weeks? I think I had a month's worth of books last Wednesday, and wasn't about to even try this.

I missed Legion of Monsters #1 last week, and that looks like it'll be a fun limited, tying in characters from Nextwave and recently, Franken-Castle. Elsa Bloodstone chases down a monster to the "Monster Metropolis" under New York, where the Legion of Monsters--Morbius, Manphibian, Werewolf by Night, and the Living Mummy--are trying to keep the peace as "monster police." (As Elsa snippily puts it.) But something may be turning the monsters into...MONSTERS. Fun characters, fighting, neat art. It's not Sandman or anything, but that's ok.

In the same vein, Secret Avengers #18: with Shang-Chi and Sharon Carter, Steve Rogers fights the Shadow Council in a bad continuum, to keep the evil organization from bringing back fissionable material. Warren Ellis brings just enough plot to hang kicking on, and we see how Shang-Chi brings more than thuggery to the table, how uncomfortable Steve is in Nick Fury's spy wheelhouse, and why he loves Sharon. Another fun issue, and I'd recommend getting them as such: these are still singles and don't feel like they're written by the trade at all.

Abe Sapien: the Devil Does Not Jest #2 would've been worth it for me, for just this panel alone:

Hellboy and Professor Bruttenholm get a lot of page time this issue, as they realize Abe is in a lot of trouble in Maine. Hellboy remains unconcerned, since he trained Abe to be prepared. And he is! Whether by accident or design, Mignola and Arcudi do a great job of keeping characters in play: neither Abe nor Hellboy are currently active in the main books, but still show up a ton. Heck, Bruttenholm was killed off in the first issue of the first Hellboy series, Seed of Destruction, yet he still shows up in mini-series, sometimes as the lead! You've heard me say it before, but the Hellboy/B.P.R.D. books are great, buy them.




There's a lot of nudity in Butcher Baker, the Righteous Maker #7. Not just female nudity, either...or even male; there's whatever the Absolutely is. Captured and tortured by Jihad Jones, his engine heart disabled, Butcher's only hope is lawman Arnie B. Willard. Who wants Butcher for himself...that doesn't even come close to covering how weird this book is. Man, it's the eighth issue of this already? I don't know if I see this one going 100 issues or anything, so enjoy it now.

How many of you bought DC comics to get a power ring? How many of you remember any of the books you bought for the rings? Legion Secret Origin #1 came with a Legion Flight Ring, which admittedly was a big selling point. While I've enjoyed the Legion before, I'm like three or four reboots down at this point. This comic isn't bad, but I don't know if it's the Legion origin that a new reader would need: there still seems to be a lot of info there that isn't completely spelled out, like the importance of R.J. Brande. Actually, I say that, but I'm quite all right with the scene with Lightning Lad, Saturn Girl, and Cosmic Boy saving Brande being shortened, since I've seen it about a dozen times; and would much rather watch Phantom Girl and Brainiac 5 work their case. Still, Flight Ring! Oddly, I don't know if the rings were heavily promoted this time--were there ads in the Legion books, or anywhere else? We'll see about the rest of the series...

Legion of Monsters #1, "Hell Street Blues" Written by Dennis Hopeless, art by Juan Doe.

Secret Avengers #18, "No Zone" Written by Warren Ellis, art by David Aja with Raul Allen.

Abe Sapien: the Devil Does Not Jest #2, written by Mike Mignola and John Arcudi, art by James Harren.

Butcher Baker, the Righteous Maker #7, written by Joe Casey, art and colors by Mike Huddleston.

Legion Secret Origin #1, "From the Wreckage" Written by Paul Levitz, art by Chris Batista and Marc Deering.
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"The End" Week: The Intimates #12

Traditionally, the last week of the year is pretty slack in both new comics releases and the comics blogosphere-thing, but not here at Random-Happenstance! ("The Blog that doesn't care if you're there...") All this week, we'll be looking at last issues of various series, then on the first we'll have the Fourth Annual Year in Toys! Now, some books we're going to look at were Marvel-cancelled, as in cancelled then restarted with a new first issue (in some cases, almost immediately) but we'll start out with a book that was cancelled and stayed cancelled: the Intimates #12, written by Joe Casey, art by Ale Garza and Carlos D'anda.

Casey, Jim Lee, and Giuseppe Camuncoli created the Intimates, and for some reason, I thought Lee did some random panels for this issue. Specifically, the Boss Tempo panels, the comic-within-a-comic that Punch is lamenting the cancellation of. (Lee definitely did on earlier issues.)

Ostensibly, the Intimates is about young potential superheroes attending a mysterious school called the Seminary; but then again it's really not. I've read most of the series (from the quarter box...) and off the top of my head, am not really sure on the kids' powers. But that wasn't important. Likewise, the Seminary's conspiracy (involving mind-control and bad school food) doesn't really matter either. The book was more about teenage life, fitting in, not fitting in, trying to figure out what to do with the rest of your life, pretending to know what you're doing when you're absolutely clueless, and screwing up a lot.

The Intimates is a poster child for comics' noble failures, or maybe for books doomed from the start: even Jim Lee's name and involvement couldn't keep it going for over a year. Which isn't that surprising: the state of the direct market in late 2005 wasn't that unlike now. If Jim Lee said tomorrow that he had a full year of WildC.A.T.s or Gen13 ready to print, figure there'd be the usual hype for the first issue, then spiralling sales. If that. But if Lee said he was going to draw the next twelve issues of Batman, sometime between now and 2016, the crowd would go wild. The comics reading fanbase, or at least the direct market, just doesn't seem to want anything new.

And I'm probably as guilty of that as anyone, but I'd at least pick it up out of the quarter boxes.

Although the Intimates was seemingly set in the Wildstorm Universe, if there is such a thing, they haven't appeared since: on the info scroll on the second-to-last page, the kids are "Teleported or disentegrated? U-decide!" Maybe someday they'll be back, but I wouldn't bet the farm. There's a bigger write-up of the book at CBR's Comics You Should Own, and as they advise, you should be able to dig it out of the quarter bin easily enough.
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