The poster from 2012, the mask from 2011, but I've had them for two comic-cons...

This week's issue of BPRD: Hell on Earth (#124) is an excellent, single issue story; a great place to start reading. And super-creepy. But if you've been reading since 1994's Hellboy: Seed of Destruction #1, you are both old, and in the possession of a pretty good pile of comics. Especially if you're not trade-waiting, and you've been getting the assorted Mignolaverse books like Sledgehammer 44, Lobster Johnson, and Baltimore. Strictly speaking, the latter isn't in the same universe, but it's Mike Mignola so it's going in the same box!

However disorganized you may assume I am...let me assure you, it's far more so. But most of my Mignola-books were together in a box...that got full. And has been in my garage, so I haven't been putting new issues in. Problem, or opportunity, for a proper longbox home for them? After some liberal application of packing and duct tape, yeah! It's reinforced and water resistant!

I've had this in mind forever, so it'll be nice to finish putting all those issues in there. Plus, it's a good opportunity to re-read a ton of them. Have a great weekend!
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OK, this (last) week's comics:

I haven't done one of these in a bit, but here's the stuff I bought last week.

First up, Amazing X-Men #5, "The Quest for Nightcrawler, conclusion" Written by Jason Aaron, pencils by Ed McGuinness, inks by Dexter Vines. A number of plot threads Aaron had brewing for some time come together, as the Red Bamfs and the Blue Bamfs battle at the Jean Grey School, Nightcrawler's regathered the X-Men to fight the demon hordes of his dad Azazel and save heaven. The late Professor X tries to get Kurt not to go through with his plan to stop Azazel, but Kurt feels it's his responsibility, and pays the price for it. It's a pretty, pretty issue; but feels a bit rushed, and slightly grimmer than the art would indicate. Also, I know Wolverine doesn't have his healing factor currently, but I thought he did at the start of this one!

Somewhat conversely, we're up to the seventh issue of Satellite Sam, and the question the book started with--who killed Carlyle White, the actor who played Satellite Sam?--is seemingly no closer to being answered. It's still a fun, smutty ride, though I wonder: does it need closure on the murder, or will that wrap up the book? This issue will probably read better collected, a common trend for today's books. (Written by Matt Fraction, art by Howard Chaykin.)


The end of the world continues in both B.P.R.D. Hell on Earth #117 and Abe Sapien #11. (B.P.R.D. written by Mike Mignola and John Arcudi, art by James Harren, inks by Dave Stewart; Abe written by Mike Mignola and Scott Allie, art by Max Fiumara, and colors by Dave Stewart.) This issue of B.P.R.D. is the third of a five-parter, but still feels like there's some forward progress; as Liz Sherman and her team, along with the freaky Iosif of the Russian Special Sciences Service, fight through the monster-infested New York City to get to the mysterious Zinco Corporation and the Black Flame. Meanwhile, in Abe's book, a former Satanist makes some progress in Seattle, while Abe seemingly fails to save the small town of Payson, Arizona. Abe's book seems to be spinning it's wheels a bit, but still works as part of a larger tapestry.

The twelve-part crossover concludes in Transformers: Dark Cybertron finale, written by John Barber and James Roberts, with layouts by Phil Jimenez, pencils by Brendan Cahill, inks by Brian Shearer. The wrap-up is to come and will set up a new status quo for the two Transformers books, but not one but two former villains may have found a measure of redemption here. It remains to be seen how much it sticks, and if the death from the previous issue (which I still need to find!) does either.

Brandon Graham does most of the art for this week's Empowered: Internal Medicine one-shot, written by Adam Warren. Empowered and Ninjette race to help an alien living spaceship deliver it's baby, at a somewhat-deranged superhero hospital. It's cheesecakey fun! Except there may be more than a bit of foreshadowing for later issues.

Dark Horse Presents #34 was purchased mainly for the conclusion of Nexus: Into the Past. It's not Baron and Rude's best on the book, but seems to draw a line under thirty-three years of stories. (On and off!) I may have been better off waiting for it to be collected, because aside from the recent short Hellboy serial, there hasn't been much else in the anthology that's grabbed me, and it's $7.99 a pop. Still, it only has two issues left, so we'll probably ride it out.

Another book I may not keep for much longer: Regular Show, since this issue finds the gang at the park fighting the 90's for the second straight issue, and it's been moving a little slowly. For four bucks an issue, it wasn't enough.

Speaking of four bucks, I did splurge for Silver Surfer #1, written by Dan Slott, art by Michael and Laura Allred. Marvel's pricing seems a bit steep, but it is a good start to the series, as the Surfer is recruited to save the massive alien city the Impericon, and a young girl is placed in jeopardy to motivate him. Only, the Surfer has no idea why. Doctor Who may be an influence this time around, but both the story and the art place the book far and away from the usual gloomy, soliliquy-spouting Surfer. I may be in for at least another issue at this rate.

All this, and I missed Warren Ellis's Moon Knight! I'll have to hold out for a second printing.


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OK, This Week's Comics:

Just a couple quick bits this time around: the Youngest came with me to the Comic Book Shop and got the new issue of Adventure Time then talked me into getting him an issue of Bravest Warriors. He was pretty enthusiastic about it, probably moreso than I was about my batch of books.

I did like B.P.R.D. Hell on Earth #105. (Some of these books aren't in the GCD yet!) It's a book that plays the long game: plot threads can lie seemingly forgotten for some time, but they rarely are. This month: The comatose Abe Sapien wakes up and wanders off! Someone covers for him! The grotesque Director Iosif of the Russian Occult Bureau airlifts into a monster-infested warzone, but isn't there for the evacuation...B.P.R.D. is rarely a bad read, but is often more satisfying with a few issues at once than one at a time. But I would miss the cliffhangers if I trade-waited!

I haven't written up the last couple of Dark Horse Presents for 80-Page Thursdays--partially because I didn't want several in a row, but also the last couple were a little meh for me. This issue does have a Shannon (Too Much Coffee Man) Wheeler story, an odd alternate history of Custer from Howard Chaykin, and a kinda interesting interview with Geof Darrow...that isn't as interesting as new work from Darrow. And Mike Richardson asks him about "his dream car" and a ride with Frank Miller and Darrow doesn't elaborate! Patrick Alexander's "Villainman" is funny; but I wouldn't have scheduled it and Wheeler's "Villain House" the same month...No Finder either this month. I was considering dropping DHP, so of course next month has Nexus and I'm back on board.

Lastly, we have X-Termination #1: to get home to the Age of Apocalypse, the AoA Nightcrawler forces the Dark Beast to try and get them back. Wolverine, pissed over Nightcrawler's betrayal of X-Force, is on his tail (so to speak) with a team of X-Men. There are a few things wrong here already...even if the AoA Nightcrawler doesn't think of the 616 Marvel Universe as anything but a shadow, the Age of Apocalypse would be a dismal suckhole to live in. Yet he's willing to work with Dark Beast--who, if he isn't basically Hitler to him, is at least Mengele--to get back there. He's in the Marvel Universe: if anyone in the story stopped being a jerk for five minutes, there's other ways to get from one universe to another, right? And Wolverine is hunting down Nightcrawler because he might be dangerous...hey, Wolvie? You know who else is dangerous? Sabretooth, the guy that killed about a gazillion other people you knew? Maybe you could hunt him down instead? No? So, Wolvie is either after Nightcrawler because of narrative convenience, or because his feelings are hurt like a big baby...

There's a ponderous opening (that reminded me of Crisis on Infinite Earths) to set up the extra-dimensional big bads, who I don't think have ever been seen before. When Dark Beast and Nightcrawler teleport into the Dreaming Celestial, they "see" a control room, "the mind making sense of the cosmic energies." Because that's way more entertaining to see than crazy Kirby-style stuff...that bit reminded me of Contact, or South Park making fun of Contact. I liked the McGuinness cover, but there's no scene like that inside, and the cover stock is crappy...

I'm being a little harsh on this book, because of those holes; but also because it already seems obvious this crossover is (at least partially) about AoA Nightcrawler having to pay for his deeds, and probably killed off or written out. He came to the 616 to get revenge, got it, and was not all that sorry about it in Uncanny X-Force. But we can't have that: it'd be just fine for Wolverine to gut someone for payback (although he so rarely kills off anyone important) but not anyone else. I'm not a fan of Gambit, but he does call Wolvie on his double standard regarding side projects; but that's another problem with this series: I really don't much care about a lot of the characters thrown in this crossover pot. I'm only buying this stupid comic because it's got a version of my favorite character, a copy.

A lot of Marvel and DC comics feel that way for me lately, honestly.
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OK, this week's comics:

Anyone notice I only do these on slow weeks? I think I had a month's worth of books last Wednesday, and wasn't about to even try this.

I missed Legion of Monsters #1 last week, and that looks like it'll be a fun limited, tying in characters from Nextwave and recently, Franken-Castle. Elsa Bloodstone chases down a monster to the "Monster Metropolis" under New York, where the Legion of Monsters--Morbius, Manphibian, Werewolf by Night, and the Living Mummy--are trying to keep the peace as "monster police." (As Elsa snippily puts it.) But something may be turning the monsters into...MONSTERS. Fun characters, fighting, neat art. It's not Sandman or anything, but that's ok.

In the same vein, Secret Avengers #18: with Shang-Chi and Sharon Carter, Steve Rogers fights the Shadow Council in a bad continuum, to keep the evil organization from bringing back fissionable material. Warren Ellis brings just enough plot to hang kicking on, and we see how Shang-Chi brings more than thuggery to the table, how uncomfortable Steve is in Nick Fury's spy wheelhouse, and why he loves Sharon. Another fun issue, and I'd recommend getting them as such: these are still singles and don't feel like they're written by the trade at all.

Abe Sapien: the Devil Does Not Jest #2 would've been worth it for me, for just this panel alone:

Hellboy and Professor Bruttenholm get a lot of page time this issue, as they realize Abe is in a lot of trouble in Maine. Hellboy remains unconcerned, since he trained Abe to be prepared. And he is! Whether by accident or design, Mignola and Arcudi do a great job of keeping characters in play: neither Abe nor Hellboy are currently active in the main books, but still show up a ton. Heck, Bruttenholm was killed off in the first issue of the first Hellboy series, Seed of Destruction, yet he still shows up in mini-series, sometimes as the lead! You've heard me say it before, but the Hellboy/B.P.R.D. books are great, buy them.




There's a lot of nudity in Butcher Baker, the Righteous Maker #7. Not just female nudity, either...or even male; there's whatever the Absolutely is. Captured and tortured by Jihad Jones, his engine heart disabled, Butcher's only hope is lawman Arnie B. Willard. Who wants Butcher for himself...that doesn't even come close to covering how weird this book is. Man, it's the eighth issue of this already? I don't know if I see this one going 100 issues or anything, so enjoy it now.

How many of you bought DC comics to get a power ring? How many of you remember any of the books you bought for the rings? Legion Secret Origin #1 came with a Legion Flight Ring, which admittedly was a big selling point. While I've enjoyed the Legion before, I'm like three or four reboots down at this point. This comic isn't bad, but I don't know if it's the Legion origin that a new reader would need: there still seems to be a lot of info there that isn't completely spelled out, like the importance of R.J. Brande. Actually, I say that, but I'm quite all right with the scene with Lightning Lad, Saturn Girl, and Cosmic Boy saving Brande being shortened, since I've seen it about a dozen times; and would much rather watch Phantom Girl and Brainiac 5 work their case. Still, Flight Ring! Oddly, I don't know if the rings were heavily promoted this time--were there ads in the Legion books, or anywhere else? We'll see about the rest of the series...

Legion of Monsters #1, "Hell Street Blues" Written by Dennis Hopeless, art by Juan Doe.

Secret Avengers #18, "No Zone" Written by Warren Ellis, art by David Aja with Raul Allen.

Abe Sapien: the Devil Does Not Jest #2, written by Mike Mignola and John Arcudi, art by James Harren.

Butcher Baker, the Righteous Maker #7, written by Joe Casey, art and colors by Mike Huddleston.

Legion Secret Origin #1, "From the Wreckage" Written by Paul Levitz, art by Chris Batista and Marc Deering.
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"In case you were wondering about the eyepatch..."

A new page (or more) every day this week! Ooh, better get started.

While I liked the Hellboy: Animated DVD's, is it just me, or did they tend to use Liz Sherman like the Human Torch? Or maybe more like a napalm airstrike. In the comics, her pyrokineis isn't as much a power as a force, something inside her that may not always be under her control. While she may occasionally use it casually, as in lighting her smokes; it's still not something Liz lets off the leash easily.

And I'm still having some fun with Abe. Aside from his recent limited series, which told the story of an early solo mission for him (and with great art) and a couple bouts of self-doubt, he's been a very effective member and leader of the B.P.R.D. Of course, in the comic Hellboy has long since left the organization, and he recently fought the Baba Yaga in Darkness Calls. "Fought" isn't really the right word; that makes it sound like a superhero comic. There's more going on there.

Ah, but where is it going? Possibly two directions at once. We'll guess at that tomorrow, and another page of whatever nonsense I have going here.

Oh, and the "Baba Yaga" I used was, um, I think a McFarlane Blair Witch figure, and doesn't even have a passing resemblance to Mignola's version. Of course, the figure's "Todd's interpretation" of said Witch, and doesn't even look like the Blair Witch of the movie, since you never see her, unless you do in the sequel I have no intention of watching. Over the next few days, I'll try to name most of the figures used, but no promises, since we've got a cast of thousands lined up! Hundreds? Dozens, maybe? Yeah, I think I can say dozens.

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"So there's the comics, the movie, novels, and the animated series; all with their own continuity. Hellboy Crisis is probably in the works."




As I write this, I still haven't seen Hellboy 2: the Golden Army, but I'm still looking forward to it. Over vacation, I read two more of the novels (The God Machine, written by Thomas E. Sniegoski; and On Earth As It Is In Hell, written by Brian Hodge.) and I've been a fan of the comic since Seed of Destruction. A couple of weeks ago, I sat down with a few complete limiteds: Darkness Calls, and the Abe Sapien and Lobster Johnson minis. So, a bit of Hellboy on the brain, yeah.

I kind of like B.P.R.D. better lately, though. Hellboy's journey into mythology isn't boring, but it's a direction I (and, I would imagine, Hellboy himself) wouldn't have chosen to take. Still, it's something new, and that is something. For the record, Abe is about a million times more badass than I make him out to be here; but there haven't been action figures of the "frogs" so no fights, sorry. (Sammael from the first movie is close, but not quite; and the frogs are more numerous and more scary.) Roger is also badass, but he is a homunculus made of human excrement and other, um, less tasteful things.

I was considering picking up the Liz Sherman figure (check out OAFE's review here) but haven't gotten around to it yet; and while I have a couple movie Hellboys and an animated one, I'm still kicking myself for not getting a Mignola style one. Stupid, stupid, stupid. If I got Johann, I think I'd want the comic style as well. Movie Liz Sherman, though, if for no other reason than to make her and Buffy kiss...

Why the eyepatch on Hellboy? It'll make sense later. And Professor X has to stand in for Jeffery Tambor: it's almost a pity Hellboy wasn't made eight or nine years ago, when the action figure market seemed flush, and he'd have gotten a figure... Read more!

"Everything sounds suggestive, it's the nature of the times."





And a brief note: until further notice, Random Happenstance is closed. I have family issues that need serious attention. Like Frosty, I may be back again someday, but it could be a long time. Maybe never, I don't know yet.

I wanna thank everyone who's ever stopped by and said hey, or not said hey. A big thanks to SallyP at Green Lantern Butts Forever!: I was hoping to get to that DCUC Green Lantern figure, since he's tailor-made for strips for you and Sea of Green. Well, maybe someday.

Poe Ghostal and Pete: Keep cranking out the figuretoons! I might be dark for awhile, but hopefully I'll still be around, and I know you guys will keep up the awesome until I get back.

The guys at Doomkopf and the Fortress Keeper: keep fighting the good fight, and thanks for everything.

And Siskoid: a sincere thanks for all the Trek. Each post reminds me of the old school fun.

God, this is more maudlin then I intended, I'm not dying. Let's just say, I hope to be back if and when my ship's correct, one way or the other, and hope to see everyone then. And if not, well, it has been that little slice of heaven I hear so much about. See ya. Read more!