80-Page Thursday: Superman 80-Page Giant!

Rarely have I read an 80-pager so tied into an event; or the aftermath of one. Today we've got Superman 80-Page Giant #2, with stories by Mike Friedman, Chuck Dixon, Dan Jurgens, Mark Millar, and more; with art by Peter Doherty, Mike Oeming, Gordon Purcell, Sean Phillips, and more.

This came just after the 1999 "King of the World" storyline; which I've only read an issue or two of. Superman starts using Superman-robots to patrol earth, and slowly starts taking more and more control. Except it turns out it wasn't Superman, he had been replaced somehow by Dominus. Yeah, I don't know either. "In the wake of world domination comes redemption!" reads the cover, as Supes has to rebuild his damaged reputation.

In the lead story, "Under Control," Superman saves a man from committing suicide, then takes him on a "ride-along" as he helps others. The man helps deliver a baby, and resolves to just live his life one day at a time. Next, Steel reads Supes the riot act in "If I had a Hammer." The pair help out rebuilding homes in a war-torn African nation, even though they're pretty sure the ongoing war will probably wreck them again.

Wonder Woman wonders (boo!) why she didn't realize Supes was under the influence/replaced by Dominus; and the answer is because she's crushing hard on him, even if he only has eyes for Lois. Like Steel, Jimmy Olsen is hurt pretty badly by Superman's failure, but knows Supes won't stop working to regain everyone's trust. The Linda Danvers/Clark Kent sister/brother dynamic is explored a little, then we see Luthor at the top of his game. He's the hero of the day, yet more beaten than ever.

Finally, in "From Krypton with Love," Lois explains how Superman is too busy saving everyone to care what they think of him, so she has to do that for him. That last one's not bad, but the rest of this issue is a bit forgettable unless you remember that storyline, which you probably don't. Oh, and despite my scans, Superman is totally in this one, but it is mostly about his friends.
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"Empties."

Dale made me think of this one. Sort your recycling! Unless you're still drunk.



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"Gamma Show."

Red Hulk is a recent arrival, sort of; but we'll talk about him on Friday.

We last saw Mordecai and Rigby interviewing for jobs as groundskeepers for Avengers Mansion. I'm sure nothing ever happens there, except maybe rotating in and out the memorial statues for whoever is currently dead. Actually, that sounds like a full-time gig.



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Warlock's Brando impression needs work:

We mentioned Adam Warlock's field trip to the Ultraverse a while back, so today we've got Ultraverse Unlimited #1, "Kindred" Written by Len Kaminski, pencils by Gabriel Gecko and Andrew Wildman, inks by Stephen Baskerville.

Warlock (who is rocking some crazy braids with skull barrettes) came to the Ultraverse after Rune, who stole the Infinity Gems. He may not have realized the Silver Surfer beat the Gems off of Rune; but he runs afoul of the Rune-influenced Gemini before having a flashback. Gemini was two brothers sharing a body: the Warlock-like Noel, and the Rune-like Erik.

Rune beat Warlock, who went into his traditional cocoon upon his "death." Although he briefly confuses Erik for Rune, Warlock "exorcises" Erik from Noel's body, seemingly taking away his power. After Warlock returns to the 616 Marvel Universe proper, Noel admits his power is still there, he just thought it made Adam feel better to think he was "cured." And Erik also returns in a new body, free to feed...although I'm pretty sure this was the last time we'll see them. I hadn't intended to use so many quotes the last paragraph, but this issue isn't what could be called "good."

Still, it gets the toys back where they belong. I'm not sure other Marvel ex-pats like Reaper or Sienna Blaze ever did make it back; although who'd know if they did? Oh, and the title reference? After the break!


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Even Batman can't stop people buying Batman junk.

Aside from some wicked burns from Alfred, and some nice art, I'm not sure about this one: Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight #80, "Idols, part one" Written by James Vance, pencils by Dougie Braithwaite, inks by Sean Hardy.

When a teenager is killed for his bootleg Bat-jacket, Batman's eyes are opened to the lucrative merchandising of the Bat-brand. While some Gothamites debate if it is glorifying a possible psychopath, Bat-stuff is predictably popular with teens; even if at this point Bats was still playing the urban legend card and was rarely seen.

Bruce offers to buy out the proprietor of the Belfry, planning on shutting it down and keeping the Bat-merchandise off the streets. He overplays his hand, though; and the proprietor thinks Bruce is trying a hostile takeover, or worse, planning on writing the business off on his taxes.

To make matters worse, a serial killer known as the "Circuit Rider" is back in Gotham; having killed two women and left hotel bibles on the bodies. Batman is seen in the theater district stopping a getaway, and a grotesquely bat-masked intruder attacks a security guard at the Belfry...so, more than a couple plates spinning at once, here. Still, Batman probably missed an opportunity to make a lot of money for anti-crime programs, public education and grants, or even just more Batmobiles; if he had just licensed himself.



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Superman can lift Mjolnir. Hyperion, well...

The newest series wave batch of Marvel Legends should be out pretty soon, and I'm pretty excited for them, even if the character selection sometimes makes me scratch my head. I'd love to see Nighthawk or Hellcat, to finish up the Defenders roster; but instead we're getting Hyperion of the Squadron Supreme. Or Squadron Sinister. Either or.

From 1998, Avengers/Squadron Supreme, "To Challenge a Champion!" Written by Kurt Busiek and Len Kaminski, pencils by Carlos Pacheco, inks by Matt Banning, Vince Russell, Bob Wiacek, Al Vey, and Paul Neary. The Avengers, with possible reserve members the Swordsman and Magdalene, answer a distress call from the Squadron Supreme; which leads to a 15-on-1 match against Imus Champion. The Avengers and the Squadron have a remarkably poor showing; but everyone can have an off day...

Actually, Champion has Batman-level cash and prep time to throw at the two teams. And he's like nine feet tall, for some reason; although that is less unbelievable than his motivation, which seems to merely be "because they're there," for the challenge. Champion does pull out some cool bits of Marvel Universe gear, though; like the Wand of Watoomb, the Wizard's Wonder Gloves and anti-grav discs, and Zodiac Star-Blaster.

All the assembled heroes are jobbed out here, and Hyperion gets crushed by Thor's hammer. The whole issue is a homage to old-school Justice League of America stories, where the assembled heroes would split into smaller groups for their own chapters. Great art, fun story, well worth finding.



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80-Page Thursday: Dark Horse Presents #16!

The previous issue was like 88+pages, but this one looks to be right about 80 even: Dark Horse Presents #16, featuring stories by Phil Stanford, John Layman, Nate Cosby, and more; and art by Tony Akins, Sam Kieth, Patric Reynolds, Evan Shaner, and more.

Ten stories this issue, and I liked Cosby and Shaner's "Buddy Cops," Richard Corben's "Edgar Allen Poe's Berenice," Layman and Kieth's "Aliens: Inhuman Condition," and Carla Speed McNeil's "Finder." But out of the six remaining, four of them were still not bad: maybe I wouldn't have bought them on their own, but were fine as part of the anthology package. (Palmiotti and Gray's "The Deep Sea" is a pretty good start, but I didn't think later issues capitalized on it.)

Not bad at all, but this issue didn't have any of the features the previous issues had that I really liked, like Nexus or Evan Dorkin strips. Still worthwhile even if it's not knocking it out of the park, although as usual I wonder how long the series will be around. So enjoy it now!


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"Don't ask to see the Creeper Cave. Just don't."

The set took me forever on this one! We got some of the set dressing from Iron-Cow Productions, like the Joker card. The Robin costume is from the Custom Coalition. The Batcave deep in back is from the Animated Series, a little undersized, but good for the background. The dinosaur is from the Jurassic Park Jr. Playskool line; and that still unidentified 70's looking robot was behind it.

I like the idea of the Outsiders, probably more than any actual story I've seen with them. And I love the notion of Batman using guys like Creeper and the Question as legmen, running down clues that Bats can't take the time to track down.

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Green Arrow is down; earth's really doomed this time...

I mentioned this one last week: DC Comics Presents Annual #2, "The Last Secret Identity" Story by Elliot S! Maggin, pencils by Keith Pollard, inks by Mike DeCarlo. Time-travelling/other-dimensional tyrant King Kosmos (ugh...) throws down the gauntlet, knocking out Superman and most of the Justice League of America! Two panels later, the Batmobile goes over a bridge with an unconscious Batman and Robin...(OK, maybe not.)

Only the intervention of the mysterious Superwoman saves the day...well, actually Superman still does a lot of the heavy lifting. Anyway, I thought the above costume would match the DC Direct figure we saw last week, and like I said, wrongo.

Still, the old Superwoman was upbeat and hopeful and inspiring; three things DC has seemingly been running full-tilt away from as fast as they can. The Kristin Wells Superwoman was from a future that wasn't a post-apocalyptic wreck and didn't come back in time to change anything; she was just visiting out of academic curiosity and got sucked into events. I'd far prefer her to any other versions...except keep the new costume, yeah.





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This month, Nexus subcontracts some jobs...

Ever been at a job you hated so much, but couldn't quit; so you decided to try to get someone else to do your work for you? Well, Nexus may have had a bad experience outsourcing, but he's getting a little tired of killing mass-murderers himself. Hence, from Nexus #41, "The Experiment" Written by Mike Baron, pencils by Steve Rude, inks by John Nyberg.

Nexus dreams of four murders on an industrial planet named Clockwork: a child murderer, a slaver, a religious assassin, and a psychotic. Starting with the child murderer, Nexus starts a series of dominoes to take out all four. Tailing the assassin, he finds the killer's target, a bride-to-be. The psychotic wants to kill a priest, so Nexus points him towards the upcoming wedding. Posing as ex-military police, he then warns the slaver of an assassin trailing her. Then, he points the child murderer at a prospective victim...

At the wedding, Nexus convinces the priest to let him take his place, then plays dead as the assassin "kills" him and takes the priest's outfit. Before he can kill his target at the wedding, the psychotic murders him with an axe, then runs out of the church, where the slaver kills him with an arrow, before she's grabbed by the child murderer. Planning to torture her on film (the slaver looked younger than she was...) the murderer gets overly excited and kills her. Nexus takes out the last one himself, describing it as a pleasure.

Man, considering Nexus had "fusion-kasting" powers (think Space Ghost with death beams) and telepathy, Clockwork seemed like way more work than just outright killing those four. Still, at this point in the series, Nexus was burning out on murder (even righteous murder) and wouldn't get his groove back for some time.
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Man without a Country...or a razor, apparently.

Hmm. I thought I needed this issue for "The End" Week, but jumped the gun a bit: despite "To All Things an Ending" on the cover, Captain America #453 wasn't the last issue of the series, #454 was. #453 was the conclusion to "Man Without a Country," though: "Executive Action" Written by Mark Waid, pencils by Pino Rinaldi and Ron Garney, inks by Scott Koblish.

Framed for treason by Machinesmith, Cap has been exiled from America, but he and Sharon Carter are still the only hope for a crashing S.H.I.E.L.D. helicarrier. (Yeah, that never happens.) Make that Sharon: Cap leaves her to it, as he plays a last card to get back to America and save President Clinton.

Sharon suspects she may not see Cap again for another five years, but manages to hack the helicarrier's system and get it back online. (Surprisingly, she mentions learning from S.H.I.E.L.D.'s Jasper Sitwell, the Punisher's tech support Microchip, and...Ultron?) Meanwhile, Cap literally plays a card: his deactivated Avengers ID, which he uses to gain access to Latveria! Dr. Doom grants Cap an audience, and Cap convinces him that global thermonuclear war would be bad for Latveria.

Machinesmith's a human consciousness in a robot body, and as he explains during his attack on the president, he can control machines easily but can in a pinch read the electrical impulses of the human brain. Like he did to gain secrets to frame Cap, and how he just did to get the activation codes for nuclear missiles. Unfortunately for Machinesmith, when it looks like he's won, Captain America returns! With a knockoff costume and shield courtesy of Doom. Cap mops up Machinesmith's drones, then when he tries to transfer to the nuclear launch "football," Cap throws it in the fire.

The issue ends with a sheepish Clinton apologizing to an exonerated Cap, as he returns his shield. A solid issue, that was perhaps overpraised at the time since the Heroes Reborn Rob Liefeld relaunch was coming up...but still damn good.

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80-Page Thursdays: Legends of the DC Universe 80-Page Giant #1!

We looked at the second issue of this some time ago, but today we've got a recent find: from 1998, Legends of the DC Universe 80-Page Giant #1, featuring stories from John Francis Moore, Andrew Helfer, Marv Wolfman, Dan Jurgens, and more; with art by Paul Guinan, Bob McLeod, George Perez, Todd Nauck, and more.

With a framing story featuring the short-lived heroic version of Chronos, this issue's a grab-bag of classic DC heroes. James Robinson, Dave Gibbons, and Sal Buscema revisit the original Doom Patrol in "Lights, Camera, and Too Much Action" Elasti-Girl gets another invitation to return to Hollywood, and the rest of the team join her: predictably for them, there's aliens, monsters, and robots involved.

Bill Mumy, Peter David, Steve Ditko and Kevin Nowlan take the Spectre to "The Depths of Despair!" Jim Corrigan's dating a Titanic survivor, but the Spectre gets involved when she confesses to murdering her sister. (She didn't, but the Spectre doesn't butt out, either.)

Hawkman and Hawkgirl have stool pigeon trouble--no, with actual pigeons. Which gets worse when the Manhawks come back. Raven revisits the secret origin of the Teen Titans, which is mostly about how miserable the individual Titans seem to be before the first issue. Rip Hunter travels haphazardly through time, while the Linear Men try to keep him from destroying history and/or dying.

And Steven Grant, Mike Zeck, and James Pascoe present "Puzzle of the Phantom Spaceman" as Adam Strange is zeta-beamed to Rann, but finds himself invisible and intangible when he arrives. And there's a mad scientist who kidnaps Alanna, but those happen pretty regularly. Finally, a good 80-pager again! Grab it if you see it.





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"The (Recurring) Mystery of Superwoman."

Until I took five seconds to check, I thought the look of this Superwoman figure would be interchangeable with the Kristin Wells one from 1983 DC Comics Presents Annual #2. Wrongo. Anyway, the name "Superwoman" is one DC has, like Manhunter, that they keep trying to make happen every few years.

Although I didn't get around to picking her up before, Action Figure Nexus had a sale that convinced me to grab her; along with the Justice League Unlimited Superman with Kandor. We'll talk about Kandor more later. For now, we'll just look at this DC Direct Superwoman, from the New Krypton line. I didn't read it, but that storyline was the lead-in to War of the Supermen, and what I read of that one was total crap. It took a batch of old favorites, like Superwoman, Mon-El, Kandor, and I think Zod; then surgically excised anything resembling "fun."

That wave of figures also included Mon-El, as we saw some time ago; and he was a bit half-assed. Sadly, Superwoman shares a lot in common with him: an interesting look, but woefully lacking in articulation. Neck, shoulders, elbows, hips, knees. Nine points. That might've been acceptable in 2000 or earlier, but this was a 2010 figure. (There's a review here that may be a little less harsh.)

The hood is removable, so you can vary her look a bit; but that's about it. Still...I do like the look. Just don't expect a ton out of her. I still need to dig up the old DCP annual with the old Superwoman, for comparison purchases. And we'll come back to Kandor at a later date.

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