I've always enjoyed Bongo Comics when I get them, and I had heard good things about this run. And it is just savage. From 1994, Radioactive Man #679 (#5) "Who Washes the Washmen's Infinite Secrets of Legendary Crossover Knight Wars?" Script and layouts by Steve Vance, finishes by Tim Bavington, additional inks by Bill Morrison.

Radioactive Man, of course, is Bart Simpson's favorite superhero; and the book is in the signature Matt Groening style. This was the fifth issue of six, but it's numbered like it had been running since the 1950's. Although the cover, proclaiming the impending death of a "second banana," is more of a Silver Age look; this particular issue is more eighties, taking the absolute piss out of hallowed classics Watchmen, Dark Knight Returns, and Batman: Year One. You'll recognize the bits, but Vance also does a nice job skewering the politics of that era.

It may help that Radioactive Man himself is a bit dim, even for someone with a lightning-bolt shaped hunk of metal lodged in his head. (His secret identity, Claude Kane, was doomed to never appear hatless; even though hats were well out of fashion by this point!) Along with blindly supporting President Reagan, he's also not thrilled to see his alternate-earth counterparts; although I do like the designations "Beta-Earth" and "Substitute Earth"! The second bananas set up some Crisis and Legends bits as well.

I won't tell which second banana doesn't make it, although Radioactive Man even suggests they'll probably be back someday. Meanwhile, I know I need to get the very McFarlane-looking #1000, but I also think I have some other Radioactive Man comics around somewhere...

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"Cointoss."

I had almost thought this wave of DC Multiverse had gone all vaporware, but it may finally be turning up in stores! Maybe. I had seen some of the Martian Manhunter from Supergirl before, but last week I found multiples of them all. Almost: only one Two-Face, and no Jessica Cruz to be found.

Two-Face fares a little better than Multiverse figures lately in terms of accessories: two guns, and two alternate hands, with his coin head's up or tail's up. The likeness isn't based on an actor or any specific piece of art I know of, and I'm not in love with the color of the jacket and tie, but maybe it will work in contrast with Riddler's green and Joker's purple. I think Mattel's been using this suit body for a while, at least since their Joker from the Justice Buster series.

I probably would've preferred a two-tone jacket, and green scarred face with grey hair, as seen in Batman #398, one of the first Batman comics I remember buying with my own money! (One of the next was Batman #400, which I can't believe hasn't been reprinted like forty times since then!)

The big pile of poop, of course, is the Clayface Collect-n-Connect pieces. Like the recent Monster Venom (that I'm nowhere near completing either...) the chest piece is split. Jessica's going to be the one to get, so start with her unless you want a legless Clayface!
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"Imp."

Impy yelling for the waiter is a reference to the first SpongeBob SquarePants movie, and oddly enough, Tom Kenny has also voiced the Impossible Man, more than once! (In Avengers Assemble and Hulk and the Agents of S.M.A.S.H.) I did a little bit of searching, but I'm not sure Deadpool had encountered him before.


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The Imperial Guard had proved their worth, but the boss sent them down to guard the planet earth...

(To the tune of the Mystery Science Theater 3000 main theme!) From 1997, Imperial Guard #1, "Imperious Wrecks!" Written by Brian Augustyn, pencils by Chuck Wojtkiewicz, inks by Ray Snyder.

I would've guessed this was from a couple years earlier; but nope, 1997, post-Onslaught. With many of earth's mightiest heroes missing--in fact, the Avengers show up here, down to Black Widow, Hercules, and Quicksilver--the Shi'ar Empress Lilandra has sent a good chunk of the Imperial Guard to um, guard earth. They're not super happy about it. There's a bit of retroactive blaming, that Lilandra supposedly released Professor X's dark side back in the day, in Uncanny X-Men #106. But with the Shi'ar Throneworld facing war, Gladiator is anguished that he has to obey orders and defend earth instead; and takes off for Uncanny X-Men #341 to get the X-Men to sub in and defend the Shi'ar. I don't know how that turned out, but that was a Joe Madureira issue: I was thinking Wojtkiewicz's style was pretty cartoony for this era of Marvel, but it may have only been slightly more than his.

Most of the Guard was still thinly-veiled Legion of Super-Heroes analogs, in particular Nightside (Shadow Lass) and Flashfire (Lightning Lad) since they aren't given much else personality here. Maybe I'm confusing Flashfire and Electron though: Flashfire was a redhead with major sideburns, while Electron was the most Shi'ar looking of the team. Mentor is an even more irritated Brainiac 5, generally annoyed no one listens to him constantly griping. Commando was new, a Kree conscript: this was after Operation: Galactic Storm, where the Supreme Intelligence destroyed most of the Kree empire in an attempt to restart their evolution. He still had a little shrine to the Supremor, which does seem a bit off, but the Kree were always given to obedience.

This was under the banner of the X-books, but the last issue would guest-star Rick Jones. As I write this, I'm going quarter-book hunting today, so we'll see if the rest of the series turns up!
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So I'm writing this post even though I already scheduled the post for the next issue (or rather, appearance) to run when I get back from vacation; and I was going to schedule this for my next vacation: I've been at my current job slightly longer than I've been at this blog, so I've got a solid amount of vacation time every year. And I'm looking at this comic because I randomly found it while I was looking for something else, because apparently I'm not organized enough to have a big goddamn box of comics labeled "BATMAN" on it. So let's check out, from 1983, Batman #360, "When Slays the Savage Skull..." Written by Doug Moench, pencils by Don Newton, inks by Pablo Marcos and Ron Randall, cover by Ed Hannigan and Dick Giordano; and I don't know if somebody told them Batman would be fighting giant naked purple skeletons this month or what happened there.

Instead, this issue a hooded cop-killer attacks a third officer, but is interrupted by a passing car before he can finish him off. Batman is called away from acrobatic training with Jason Todd, who still bursts into tears at the memory of his dead parents, but still wants to go with Bats, who has to shut him down. Questioning the wounded officer, Batman asks if the cop had any warning before the attack, which prompts him to remember, oh yeah, the guy screamed "Justice must die" before stabbing him. Maybe that's not as memorable as getting stabbed, I guess.

While another cop is getting stabbed to death, Gordon calls Batman with another clue, a threat delivered to the police station from "SS." Batman wonders if that refers to Nazis, which is sadly still topical today; then goes to question the last cop to work with the slain officers, Jack Crane. Batman nearly blows it off, but a cop had mentioned he was "retired," very much with the quotes there. Bats finds Crane's place unlocked and open--really for real this time, usually that would be a lie--and the place spray-painted with "The Savage Skull will slay," and the photos of his targets: the dead cops, and then Jim Gordon! Fairly straightforward, until the Skull arrives, with a skinless head!

The Skull escapes after a brief tussle, and Batman goes to Gordon for the story: Crane had been an ambitious, and over-zealous (read: brutal) officer, who had been horribly burned while shooting an arsonist. Alleged arsonist: Crane's story never lined up with the ballistics, and while he claimed he saw a gas can it was never found. Discharged from the force, Crane was now completely disgruntled and on the spree, smashing into Gordon's own home! Gordon seems ill, not his usual self, but Batman gets the fight outside, which ends with Crane diving at Batman and going over the side of the pier. His head hits the side and he sinks like a stone, and Batman suggests to Gordon they'll have to drag the river, but the Skull was fine. His next appearance is seemingly moments later, although it also seemed to imply he had been living under the docks for a while. Well, either way. And Gordon's problems with his health and the mayor would continue to build; here the mayor as much as tells him if he's not healthy he'd be out of a job!

This issue features a few things that would become expressly forbidden later, like Batman out during the day or talking to regular cops. He also gets distracted and hungry, like a regular person; you won't see that anymore...
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You'd think punching out Skrull Ben Franklin would be more fun.

...and that only happens on the cover. Also, Marvel re-numbering is a nightmare, and variant covers a plague. From 2013, Fantastic Four #10, "Self-Evident Truths!" Written by Matt Fraction, pencils by Mark Bagley, inks by Mark Farmer.

Let's see...this was after Jonathan Hickman and before James Robinson's. I don't think I had read any of this run, but I probably hadn't read Fantastic Four regularly since Waid and Wieringo's run ended in 2005! Still, there's a good recap page here: Reed had discovered he, and probably the rest of the four, was dying; and had taken the whole family on a multidimensional journey to try and find a cure. He had also tried to cover up his condition, but Sue had found out, and Ben was showing symptoms as well, like unusual rages. This issue, Sue's condition shows, as parts of her body become invisible.

Valeria is angry over the secret; and while Reed has figured it may be an attack, she's figured it's the work of the Skrulls. Johnny's not thrilled to realize he may be sick as well, and he might have a point, with the harshest line I can recall in Fantastic Four history:

Reed had planned on visiting Dr. Rosalind Franklin in 1953; partially as part of the educational portion of their trip, but also because he knew Skrull agents were monitoring DNA research. Interesting as that might have been, they get knocked off course and end up in 1776. Their sensors show their temporal anchor was gone, but there was a Skrull nearby...as Thomas Jefferson, Ben Franklin, and John Adams work on the Declaration of Independence!

Now, the history here may be a bit dicey, and that's before you throw a Skrull in there: Jefferson was determined to include language condemning slavery. Adams pointed out the southern states would never go along with that, and that Jefferson himself owned slaves. Adams argues a more pragmatic view: the southern states were needed to gain their independence from England, and the fight against slavery would have to wait for another day. Franklin takes Jefferson's side, which Adams believes would cause the south to secede, and they would probably all hang separately, as it were.

Ben Franklin was a Skrull here, though; because he wanted slavery to continue, telling Reed, "We want you to recognize chains when we come for you." Franklin Richards and Valeria have a chat with Jefferson about slavery, with seemingly mixed results; as Reed has the Skrulls hypnotized and turned into cows. Valeria is again pissed at her dad, which Reed seems to write off to her (emotionally) becoming a teenager, rather than maybe having a point. And Ben Grimm notices the rocky shell of his fingertips seems to be crumbling...

This series ran for 17 issues--16 and a nonsense #5AU for Age of Ultron, an event I have absolutely no recollection of. Like it was retconned right outta my head. I wonder how much effort it would be to find the rest of this one out of the quarterbins (I got a lot of Robinson's issues that way) and if they're ever going to run out of ways to make poor Reed act like a dick. Seriously, I liked it better when he was bland science guy; multiple writers seem to have confused "interesting" and "unlikeable."
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I'm always going to prefer a comic that tries to do too much; as opposed to one written for the trade; but today's book maybe tries way too much--and for less than a buck! From 1996, Avengers Unplugged #4, "The Old Ball and Chain" Written by Glenn Herdling, pencils by John Statema, inks by Scott Koblish.

She-Hulk is late for work, but on her way in recognizes her old foe Titania--even unmasked and in a wedding dress! Surprisingly, there really isn't a big glamour shot of her dress this entire issue; too much other stuff going on. She-Hulk gets bounced by a horde of super-villains, but calls in the Avengers, who arrive pretty quickly.

Most of the rest of the issue is the current Avengers roster versus groups of villains, who seem to use more teamwork than the heroes today: Crystal is stopped by Volcana, Hydro-Man, and the Molecule Man. (And it's mentioned in passing, Volcana and the Molecule Man had broken up.) Hercules catches another beating from the Wrecking Crew--not as bad as the one that put him in a coma in Avengers #274. Screaming Mimi, Angar the Screamer, and Klaw shoot down Deathcry. Stilt-Man, the Wizard, and Mr. Hyde bring down Giant-Man and the Black Widow, but they're in a hurry to get back to the ceremony: the wedding of the Absorbing Man and Titania!

The Vision nearly stops the wedding--not even waiting for the "if anyone objects" part!--and shrugs off the Wrecker; before the Absorbing Man uses the diamond from the ring to change form and clobber him. He does shatter his wrecking ball, though, and takes Thunderball's after an obligatory "ball 'n chain" joke. Still, when the Avengers smash in a wall and realize it's a wedding and not a crime, they leave almost immediately after, seemingly out of embarrassment. She-Hulk points out there's probably warrants for about everyone there; but Giant-Man tells her to file the paperwork, maybe they would be back after Titania and Absorbing Man were on their honeymoon.

I had thought those two were already married when we checked out Thunderstrike #16, but nope. The Absorbing Man had been intermittently trying to go straight; which I don't think Titania was necessarily onboard with. Well, it wouldn't stick, anyway. This was one of the few ninety-nine cent comics I can think of that had important continuity; but it still bit off more than it could chew.
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"Single."

Singularity first appeared in 2015's A-Force #1 during Secret Wars, then would appear in the regular timeline a bit later. Her figure was part of the A-Force set, and I got it September last year; which seems like a pretty quick turnaround. I've read maybe a couple comics with her--maybe? I have to say, the name 'Singularity' is a bit clunky; I'm not sure 'Spaceygirl' is any better, but it's just as descriptive. And I actually used "Singularity" as a title already, referring to the artificial intelligence theory.
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I could take or leave Speedball, but I like Niels.

From 1995, New Warriors #66, "Return to Springdale" Written by Evan Skolnick, pencils by Patrick Zircher, inks by Andrew Pepoy; and dedicated to Speedball co-creator Steve Ditko.

Robbie Baldwin dreams up the title page while sleeping on the train back to his hometown: trouble with his mom, possible time-travelling problems incoming, and malfunctioning powers; so he was headed home in search of answers. Arriving in town, his dad is late picking him up, so he Speedball's up and bounces home; just missing an alliterative pair of thugs chasing Niels, the cat that got the same powers in the same accident as Speedball.

Robbie was in kind of an odd place: his parents were separated, and he was living with his mom, who was acting on "Secret Hospital," the same soap opera I think Mary Jane Watson had a stint on. His dad knew his secret ID, but was district attorney and the town was supposedly "the only 'one' in America with an ordinance against costumed vigilantes," so he had to willfully ignore his son's activities.

The next day, as Speedball heads to the lab where he got his powers, two villains, the Harlequin Hit Man and Sticker, manage to catch Niels. Speedball finds his usual doctor had the day off, but those villains and several more are there, seemingly with the run of the lab. Speedball is able to thrash his old bad guys once again, but then gets gassed. He wakes up, strapped to the wall with Niels, courtesy of his old foe...Clyde!

Clyde claims all of the villains Speedball faced in Springdale were his "failed experiments," and that he was "the greatest enemy you never knew you had!" Speedball had earlier even saved him from another experiment, a giant rat. (That was in the last issue of his own book, which I probably have floating around here somewhere...) Clyde wants to suck the powers out of him and Niels, which is hurting the cat, who horks up a kinetically powered hairball! Clyde is shaken like a paint mixer, setting up a MST3K reference; as Speedball sees a mysterious figure in the "kinetic dimension" his powers come from, that looks like him.

Later, Robbie tells the cops, and his dad, Niels defeated all the baddies. Wink! The cat would go on to further nonsense, before becoming a Pet Avenger, and is currently the pet of Jim Hammond, the original Human Torch!

Also this issue: Justice tries to manage the team and his love life, as he thinks it's too soon to propose to his long-standing girlfriend, Firestar. Sabra also calls up, from Israel, to hit on him, just to complicate matters. And the Scarlet Spider makes an appearance, since this was during his time on the team; which almost turned the book into a de facto Spider-Man title. Secret identities also meant something back then, as Scarlet is still reluctant to unmask for the team.

I understand Speedball has moved back to Speedball again, past his trauma from Civil War and time as Penance. I think he would be more fun if he was portrayed as complete rag-doll physics; like every time he hit a wall or something he looked like his spine was folding in half, but was fine.
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Karma might get you for stealing Etta's salad, Wally.

This copy is mildly well below mint, but still a nice Brian Bolland cover: from 1993, Wonder Woman #78, "The Fast Contract" Written by William Messner-Loebs, pencils by Lee Moder, inks by Ande Parks and Aaron McClellan.

Even though she was currently broke and living in a tiny attic apartment (with a landlady who may have been a silent movie actress) Wonder Woman is still pretty upbeat. Out to help her friend Etta Candy pick out her wedding dress--she was marrying Steve Trevor, although I'm pretty sure that either didn't go through or was walked back later--Diana notices her friend had lost some weight. Etta doesn't feel like she'd lost enough, though, even when she gets a little dizzy and collapses, having not eaten since yesterday's breakfast! Over a salad, Etta says she'd "just once in my life, I'd like to look like you!" In the kindest possible manner, Diana explains that might not be happening; when for good measure the Flash shows up and helps himself!

Flash explains he's there as Diana's bodyguard, since there was a contract out on her. The hired gun was Mayfly, and while this was her first appearance she tied into fairly recent Flash continuity, from when Messner-Loebs wrote his book! He still wrote Wally like a bit of a cad, though. Back to Mayfly: she had been a Velocity-9 super-speed junkie, given powers by the gene-bomb from Invasion! Teflon bullets and super-speed made her a prolific hitter, but Flash explains it was dangerous for her as well: she was a hemophiliac, and a scratch could kill her. The cops wanted her alive to testify against mob bosses, and maybe find out who wanted Diana dead; so Flash goes to stop her...and gets shot in both legs, multiple times! Diana tries to use some strategy, activating the sprinklers, but Mayfly already has the drop on her and Etta...!


I don't know if Wally redeems his poor showing next month; it could take me a while to find the next one.
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