Somehow I bought two more copies of this over Free Comic Book Day weekend--the original and the reprint!--and somehow hadn't blogged this issue before? That seems out of character, so better catch up! From 1986, the Uncanny X-Men #204, "What Happened to Nightcrawler?" Written by Chris Claremont, pencils by June Brigman, inks by Whilce Portacio. Reprinted in 1995's X-Men Classic #108 with a Jae Lee cover.

Anna Peppard--one of the few people I'd maybe consider a biggest Nightcrawler fan than me--describes this issue as "(it) helps Kurt 'get his groove back,' but it doesn’t resolve his metaphysical doubts." I agree on the latter, but perhaps not on the former. This was just post-Secret Wars II, and Nightcrawler wasn't there, probably, despite appearing twice! The Beyonder had jacked Kurt's faith up, terrifying him on a metaphysical level: was the Beyonder greater than God? Or God himself? The other X-Men were teleported to face him the previous couple issues, but Kurt wasn't taken, and wasn't sure why...only that he was glad of it, and was ashamed of feeling that way. And ashamed, he starts to act self-destructively: drinking abusively, and lashing out as his long-time girlfriend, Amanda Sefton. The worst part about the latter is that Kurt knows he's being a jerk, but can't make the next step to apologize to her, and she leaves for her stewardess job. (Amanda would actually reappear in Uncanny during the long stretch he wasn't in the book, but it would be almost a decade before she would see Kurt again?)

Left literally howling and sulking in the rain, Kurt hears an omniously familiar sound from Cental Park: "SFLANNG!" Kurt even uses the onomatopoeia to describe it; between that and the 'Kltpzyxm' reference from his solo limited, my head canon has always suspected Kurt read at least a few comics as a kid! Kurt recognizes a garbage truck long of the X-Men's acquaintance, that of Arcade's! The "madcap murderer for hire," as Kurt calls him, used that to abduct his victims to Murderworld, and Kurt knows one has already been captured. Next up: a ton of internal dialogue, as Kurt makes a number of rationalizations. He doesn't think he can go to the cops, as the victim would likely be long dead by the time he could convince anybody; and after following the garbage truck to the north Bronx, he also decides to go it alone rather than call the Avengers or other back-up. Kurt felt he had something to prove, and couldn't pass it off. Finally for this two-page stretch, Kurt hacks Arcade's systems, to make himself undetectable. At least until Arcade sees him...

Meanwhile, Arcade is giving his spiel to his prospective victim; a pretty redhead jogger, who claims to be an ordinary college student. Arcade is not especially sympathetic to her plight, and launches her in the life-sized pinball machine we've seen him use before, his traditional Murderworld opener. Arcade is also not impressed with her pinball score--how exactly would someone get a high score, trapped in the pinball? And why should they want to? After the pinball shatters, the girl finds herself in a darkened forest, wherein she is hunted by hounds and Hussars. (The Hussars seem an odd choice for someone as flashy as Arcade, but there may be a reason...) She manages to make it to a river, then onto a series of floating logs, only to then be attacked by a shark! Somehow she has the presence of mind to note sharks "can't exist in fresh water!" but this was Arcade's game; and she's rescued by Nightcrawler teleporting in to grab her. Arcade finally takes notice, now we've got a game.

The girl is not immediately charmed by Nightcrawler, even though he turns it on here. OAFE's review of 'Explodey Smurf' may hit the nail on the head here: "His whole deal is that he knows he looks incredibly scary to the average person on the street, so he tries to overcompensate by being incredibly warm and personable to everyone he meets." Left with little choice, the girl takes Kurt's hand, as they find a Mad Max-style dune buggy, complete with gift-bow, as "Auntie Arcade" and her marauders come speeding in. (Aside: Arcade has to be miked, or there's no way they would be able to hear him!) Kurt's internal conflict continues unabated during the chase: while this was a bit of a tough fix, it was a winnable fight, unlike most of those the X-Men faced those days. (Also, Kurt drives here, and apparently pretty well! Chuck Austen can suck it...) When biplanes attack, Kurt teleports up and commandeers one...and the art is a trifle unclear here, as he pulls a nice loop, and the second plane apparently conks out? I think Kurt shoots it down, even if it's not pictured, and the second plane crashes into "Auntie Arcade." Kurt also mentions, "the sky, it seems, is still a killer," and is that a reference to Feindliches Ass--in English, Enemy Ace? I swear Kurt read some comics in his circus days.

Seemingly uncharacteristically, Nightcrawler takes off in the plane, waving the girl on through, good-bye and good luck. (How either of them could be heard over the dune buggy and the plane...Murderworld is magic?) She drives on alone, until she runs out of gas in Murderworld's Chinatown, where Arcade's assistant Ms. Locke appears to offer her an out: maybe you'd like to be a sex slave? No? Nightcrawler returns in time to save her, as Arcade appears via hologram over the Locke-looking android: Kurt gives him a rather Bugs Bunny-styled kiss, then drops him on his butt in the gutter. Furious, Arcade promises revenge, when the X-Men storm into his control center and smash it up. They don't look right, though...Arcade realizes, with a laugh, they were his own robot duplicates, turned against him by Nightcrawler. Unlike a lot of bad guys, Arcade could sometimes be a good loser, if someone gave him a good game.

Kurt manages to get the girl, Judith, home: she's slightly perturbed that Kurt seemed to enjoy the hell out of that whole ordeal. Is Kurt addicted to excitement? Without someone like Arcade, would Kurt have to invent a villain, to give his life purpose? That seems a little much; but since we're on the last page no time for that: back at Judith's apartment, we find a representative from the State Department, and a colonel in the Ruritanian National Guard, who hails Judith as the rightful Queen of Ruritania! Judith would make maybe two more appearances that I know of, including her royal wedding in Excalibur: Mojo Mayhem; and I didn't know until just looking it up that Ruritania was from the Prisoner of Zenda, which maybe accounts for Arcade's Hussars, trying to get that eastern European flavor.  I figured Ruritania was near Latveria and Symkaria; Doctor Doom probably tried to annex it a couple times a year. 

Does Kurt have his groove back, then? I'd say no, not in the slightest; but he's putting up a brave face and trying to push through. And he was not going to make a lot of headway on resolving those issues, either. This was Nightcrawler's first solo spotlight issue in Uncanny, and he would be written out within the year, after the Mutant Massacre crossover, and benched until the debut of Excalibur in 1988. He would still be struggling with a need to prove himself there; but seemed less overtly religious in that series, which was fine with me. We've said before, fun Nightcrawler is best Nightcrawler, even in a world that was less and less fun for him all the time.

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We saw Kelley Jones's creation the Hammer about a million years ago, so it's long past time we catch up with another from him: the 13th Son! From 2006, the 13th Son #4, story and art by Kelley Jones, colors by Michelle Madsen.

Hmm, the Hammer predates this book, but I don't believe I had heard of the 13th Son until I saw all four issues for cheap from Midtown Comics. The thirteenth son (duh) of a Puritan father and a thirteen-year-old bride (that's grosser than any of the monster kills in this series) the 13th Son had recently taken the hand of his own mother, who had long ago gone insane and become a witch. With his bride Sara (possibly not his first bride, but his most willing one) he's on the verge of having his own thirteenth son, who could be unstoppable by god, man, or monster.

Furious, his mother rallies the last of her strength, to send an army of monsters to the 13th Son's hidden lair: while controlled, the monsters also hate him for killing countless of their friends, family, and associates. Surrounded in a pair of cool-as-hell double-page spreads, the 13th Son isn't afraid of falling himself, but of losing Sara, who instead uses his mother's hand as a horrible claw to join in the fight! I don't think he was setting up the Kelleyverse--although he maybe should!--but the 13th Son falls into a bit of the same trap that the Hammer did: while the art is great, he's not the most likeable character out there. Still, Jones is always worth checking out. Read more!

I feel like this cover's happened to Superman like a couple dozen times.

But that's probably true for any orphan, maybe. From 1974, Action Comics #440, "The Man Who Betrayed Krypton!" Written by Elliot S. Maggin, pencils by Curt Swan, inks by Bob Oksner.

We open with Michael J. Coram, who dresses like millionaire Dracula and approaches a lot of kids with offers. No, not like that! Well, maybe, we don't see him 24-7 or anything; Coram recruits kids for his "Think-Tankers," his R&D for crime. He would fund promising students, turns them into masters of their various fields, and put them to work on things like anti-Superman weapons. Today, it's a "brain-beam" to attack his reasoning ability! Soon enough, Clark Kent hears a voice calling him as Kal-El, and meets the ghosts of his parents on a hilltop outside Metropolis. Like many orphans, I think Supes is probably constantly worried that he would somehow disappoint Jor-El and Kara, so he's a easy target for this one, as they tell him this earth crap is for the birds, and he should be building a new Krypton.

As Superman takes off into space to start mashing asteroids together to make a new planet, Coram's high-tech crime syndicate starts looting Metropolis right and left. Coram even demands air time on WGBS to announce his takeover of Metropolis, when Superman returns--for revenge? No, for the chosen people for New Krypton, like Coram and his Think-Tankers! Supes had quickly realized it was a scam when his parents called him "Kal-El," they would have just called him by his first name. Apparently Krypton doesn't do that thing where your parents call you by both names when you've really done messed up. Superman knows that was kind of a close one, though. Read more!

"Alexei."

I was on vacation for a bit, so this was just finished last weekend. For a change, I have the plot largely worked out, or at least what Alexei is after and why Black Widow wanted Moon Knight there, but not the full script. The downside to that is that I think I had some dialogue worked out on my drive home, but I'm not sure I wrote it all down... Our new armored green friend is a recent pickup from Twitter, thanks @camzilla51! It's a Russian character that has gotten other action figures in the past and is getting a Marvel Select version soon-ish. The Select is much closer to his usual appearance. But we'll soon see another armor that's not necessarily the traditional look either. Read more!

This is another Legion story I remember for the house ad, not unlike #259; but I didn't read it until very recently. At least I don't think I did? I could have three copies in the garage for all I know; but I haven't blogged it yet, so...From 1980, Legion of Super-Heroes #263, "Day of Judgment" Written by Gerry Conway, pencils by Jimmy Janes, inks by Dave Hunt.

We open with five people outside the newest Legion headquarters: this one had a metal ball with a bunch of smaller ones attached to it, which I think was supposed to represent the United Federation of Planets, but now looks like a monument to COVID-19.

The cover and the ad really tease up the mystery of those five, which is revealed pretty quickly: they are parents of some Legionnaires, namely, Chameleon Boy, Ultra Boy, Shadow Lass, and Shrinking Violet. (Misspelled as "Shrinking Violent" on page 5; which would be somewhat apt much later for her!) Instead of their kids, though, they are greeted by the green-garbed Dagon the Avenger! Which Ultra Boy's dad immediately assumes is a joke, and gets tranked for his trouble. While he and his wife did not have powers, since U-B got his in an accident, the other parents try to use the powers they shared with their kids to defend themselves; in particular Shadow Lass's mom, who trained her as a fighter, and may have been her world's defender when she was younger. More troublingly, they also had defensive weapons courtesy of R.J. Brande (the Legion's benefactor and Chameleon Boy's dad, although I don't think that had been revealed yet!) and the weapons do nothing.

The Legion returns to headquarters after a wild goose chase, to find evidence of a shootout, and Shadow Lass's mom left her belt buckle/ornament as a clue. The team quickly learns other parents have also been abducted, and call in Dawnstar to return after a rescue mission and try to track them down. Tyroc and Light Lass investigate Brande Industries, to find out why the defenses for their parents failed, and are greeted by a disgruntled worker, since Brande had fallen on hard times recently. Tyroc then has to leave suddenly, citing a "crucial time" for his people on the island of Marzal; and a furious Wildfire vows to have him drummed out of the Legion for ditching. (Again, that was Wildfire's usual management style: to be pissed off at everything, and everyone, at all times.) Dagon then makes his demands: a billion solar credits, within 24 hours, or the parents die! 

I know I've read the next issue, sometime; and while I'm not positive, I'm pretty sure they're Scooby-Doo'ing this one and Dagon will be unmasked as the first other character we saw, the disgruntled worker. Tyroc was a relatively recent addition to the team, and...honestly, not handled very well. He would be phased out the next issue, and I believe he would not return until deep into the "Five Years Later" run. The house ad for this issue also appears within, as well as a Legion-specific subscription ad.

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I should've scheduled this issue for Festivus; get those grievances out.

I had to look up the issue where the Titans previously beat today's foe, and wasn't expecting such a good cover for a villain like this. From 2000, the Titans #16, "Survival, 2 of 2: Limbo" Written by Devin Grayson, pencils by Mark Buckingham, inks by Marlo Alquiza and Richard Bonk.

In a rematch with the demonic Gargoyle, the Titans are trapped in idyllized verisons of their childhoods. Or somewhat idyllized: it's interesting to see Dick Grayson's circus life may not have been as perfect as it seemed, and that he may have been becoming restless with it. Wally's visits with Aunt Iris and Uncle Barry were pretty good, but he catches a punch from his dad immediately afterwards for "dreaming." And Roy has started to poke holes in his fantasy: while he knew his father had died in a forest fire, he really didn't have enough recollections to be stuck in, since he didn't remember a mom at all. He's the first Titan to arrive at the center, Haley's Circus, and Dick; with the others soon following suit. Donna arrives last, but because she had wanted to catch a glimpse of Dick's real dad--"so much more like you than Bru--"

After a scuffle with Gargoyle, Dick is able to knock him out with a Batarang, which is of course a trick: Dick realized he was making the team's rifts stronger, to feed on the negativity. (You know, I've never liked that kind of trope: if the thing eats the negativity, what would be left? If it can live on your pain and not hurt you otherwise, why not let it?) The Titans are forced to own up to each other about their respective gripes, like Dick being uncomfortable with an "other" Flash...off the top of my head, I'm not sure what that refers to; I'm guessing the Flash from hereabouts. Roy and Garth bury the hatchet, not really mad at each other; while Donna's situation is more complicated: she had been brought back to life (or continuity...) via Wally's memories, so she wondered if she was "real," or just an idealized version of Donna Troy. She had been trying to prove there was a side to her they didn't know; Wally says she doesn't have to, they accept that.

But Roy is the one to complete the puzzle, figuring that Gargoyle's Limbo was about stagnation, always doing the same things: Roy had needed his friends not to just love him unconditionally, but to give him a much-needed kick in the ass and be a better person. The Titans are freed, but may call the weekend early and go home. Read more!

"I beat you with this!" (Accidentally points to head with brass knuckles, knocks himself unconscious.)

It may seem like I just buy whatever random modern Flash comics I find in the cheap bins, and I do; but I picked up this one specifically because I remembered how Impulse had handled him. From 2016, Flash #51, "Under the Gun" Written by Van Jensen, art by Gus Vazquez and Joe Eisma.

The Riddler thinks he's already won here: through a shell corporation, he had written most of the software for Central City's police drones, in order to take control of them. (This would be less a problem, if CC's drones weren't numerous and massively armed: you could argue that's what a city in the DCU would need, but it also looks like the cops want to have the option to murder tons of citizens on the table, as a little treat.) He also had the Rogues' Trickster, blackmailed with a bomb in his robot arm to betray the others; and the captured Heat Wave to use as a massive bomb if needed. If the Flash runs away, Riddler will have his drones start killing random citizens, so Flash has to take a bit of a brass knuckle-beating before getting saved by the Pied Piper.

While the remaining Rogues argue over the comatose Golden Glider (a victim of the Trickster) Flash is left with no choice but to surrender again to Riddler's ultimatum, unmasking himself as Barry Allen! To be continued...what? Man, Impulse was able to take care of the Riddler in one issue, Barry. Admittedly, that was a far more lighthearted book; and this is post-Year Zero super-serious-threat Riddler who's oh-so-smart. Still, the next issue was the last of the series, so maybe he did win...? Nah, had to be a relaunch coming.

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Because Twitter's search function is inexplicably ass, I can't find the tweet of people accidentally or mistakenly adopting or taking in coyotes. When Frank does it, he knows full well it's a wild animal, but he knows it knows what would happen if it tried to bite him. Also this issue, Electro. From 2014, the Punisher #3, written by Nathan Henry Edmondson, art by Mitch Gerads.

In Los Angeles on the trail of the Dos Soles, a gang that was acquiring a chemical weapon; Frank is confronted on the highway by another of said gang's weapons: Electro. Possibly concussed, Frank escapes by relying on his training. Later, after beating a location out of a snitch, Frank's experience comes through again, as he suspects he has underestimated his opponents, and he was right. While he's able to gun down the usual thugs, this time Electro has the drop on him...

There were a few running subplots in this series: Frank's contact Tuggs, who was also usually tasked with feeding Frank's coyote. Which may not have been a pet in the traditional sense, but it was Frank's. A cop previously saved by Frank seems to have come around on his results-based methods; and Frank has a bit of a monologue about why you can't rely on cops. A new group of Howling Commandos was trying to track Frank down as well; they are traditional military bad-ass types, and are inherently less interesting than say, the monster version; which wouldn't really have fit in but would've been a million times more fun. Manphibian and Orggo hitting the streets, smashing up bars, looking for leads on the Punisher...

Also, now I'm wondering what you would feed your pet coyote? Will they eat regular dog chow? I'm 40% sure Frank was just giving his MRE's: good enough for him, so...

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"Steps."

Out of office, so no commentary today! Read more!

This book really captures DC at the time: some cool moments, honoring some of its history, crapping on other parts...

It reminded me of Countdown to Infinite Crisis, really; although since I'm not as attached to some of these characters I'm probably not going to be as hard on it. From 2008, Superman's Pal, Jimmy Olsen #1, "From a Cub to a Wolf" Written by James Robinson, pencils by Jesus Merino, Leno Carvalho, and Steve Scott, inks by Jesus Merino, Nelson Pereira, and Kevin Stokes.

Jimmy Olsen feels there's something missing in his life, drifting away from his old friends and his hookup girl, wanting more from work than struggling to keep Perry White's coffee warm. Also, at a recent fight between Superman and Atlas, he had caught a couple photos of something: a floating man, who he recognized from the funeral for a woman killed by the mob. Clark Kent encourages him to take some time off to pursue the story, with Perry grudgingly giving him two weeks.

From there, Jimmy pulls on string after string, pretty quickly getting a secret file, witnessing a murder, and getting chased by the psychic-powered Codename: Assassin! If you recognize that one, it's a deep cut: he only appeared once before, in 1st Issue Special #11 back in 1976! That's given a two-page recap, in somewhat loving detail. Despite having flight and some heavy-duty guns, C:A is troubled that he isn't able to read Jimmy's mind, which keeps him one step ahead. The file also has a link most everyone else would not have seen but that Jimmy recognizes, to Cadmus, which he remembers "even at my young age now seems like a fairy tale from long ago." He suspects the worst, then confirms his fears: the original Newsboy Legionnaires had all been killed.

Returning to Cadmus, he finds the vast facility cleaned out, with the exception of Dubbilex, who reveals another piece: the man who would later become Codename: Assassin had been Cadmus's head of security once, but was let go after killing Jim Harper, the original Guardian, in front of his own clone. Every time Jimmy had seen Guardian, that had been a clone, or possibly a clone of a clone: Harper's DNA had been special, suited for cloning. Dubbilex tells Jimmy all this before revealing he was bleeding out, already killed by Codename: Assassin.

Jimmy follows a final clue, to Warpath, Arizona; a border town that used to be the first stop for troublemakers or super-villains headed north, but had recently picked up some law. After a rather daring escape from Codename, Jimmy meets one of the men that cleaned up Warpath: Sheriff Greg Saunders, aka the original Vigilante! Who apparently works doubles, days as the sheriff, nights as the Vigilante, although sadly out of costume. He seems to pick up a hat mid-fight though, while punching up a ton of low-rent no-name super-villains with his pal, the Guardian! Or a Guardian, I guess; who similarly seems to grow a big-ass mustache overnight! This motorhome Jim Harper has a young daughter and a bit of distrust for Jimmy, but he has a story for him, that sends Jimmy racing back to Metropolis, to save Superman!

With the exception of a couple art hiccups, and an recruitment insert for the Navy, I should be more up on this one. But. I don't get how this could be virtually reverent of a one-shot wonder, while killing off multiple Jack Kirby creations, many of them off-panel? I did look up to confirm, this was Dubbilex's last appearance, at least pre-New 52. Also, the cover says "One-shot" and this wasn't, it's continued in Superman: New Krypton Special #1, and another Jimmy Olsen special, then more issues! Good effort in getting me to read that one, but no thanks: I'm pretty sure it ended with everyone involved who wasn't a regular character killed off or written out forever.

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One of the first Avengers comics I ever read was #211, a reshuffling of the roster and Cap capping the roster at six, which I still hate but I don't think was really enforced long. Today, we get another issue I had as a kid, of pure team adjustments: from 1987, the Avengers #279, "Command Decision" Written by Roger Stern, pencils by John Buscema, inks by Tom Palmer. 

In passing, current Captain Marvel Monica Rambeau saves a family from the father, who is both heavily armed and probably having a psychotic break. Her powers make that pretty easy, and next up? Interrupting the Bears/Saints game at her parents' house, appearing through their TV to check out if they had guests. Monica wanted to talk about the Avengers, specifically their earlier meeting.

The Wasp had nominated Doctor Druid for membership, then resigned as chairwoman and left active duty. Monica nominates Captain America, who declines, since he was busy with his new hotline, but he returns the favor and nominates her. When she wonders if she was ready, Thor steps in, a bit heavy-handedly. She-Hulk accuses Thor of bullying CM, which I don't think was intentional, but maybe? And Monica had another consideration: she was considering starting a small business, partially to get her dad to retire from the fire department. (Her dad did seem to be getting on in years...)

Back at the beach, rather the Avengers' Hydrobase, She-Hulk and Black Knight discuss the leader situation, with Jennifer willing to run rather than let Thor be leader. Their conversation is derailed by Dr. Druid, who projects an illusion of a gorilla-like creature, then laughs his ass off after Jen lands face-first in the sand trying to tackle it. Meanwhile, Captain Marvel visits Moonstone in the prison hospital, after the "Under Siege" storyline: she blames everybody for her situation, from CM to Baron Zemo. With that a waste, Monica then visits the still-comatose Hercules, who doesn't have any advice for her, but seems to mumble something when she leaves. She revisits the oil rig where she had her origin, and wonders if she's ready for the soul-crushing, 24/7 responsibility of leading the Avengers.

Monica catches up with Captain America, who was rescuing some kids from a cavern collapse. While Captain Marvel was able to provide light, she had some limitations there: unlike most flyer characters, she couldn't carry anyone or anything. Getting down on a crumbling ledge to save a scared girl means some actual risk for her, but she doesn't hesitate; and afterwards decides to accept the nomination.

Lastly, a shadowed figure, that superficially resembles Thor, takes Hercules from the hospital... 

Monica deserved better than to have her stint leading the team sabotaged by Dr. Druid--that may not be entirely accurate, but how I remember it. I wonder if her powers made her tough to write: she visits multiple locations this issue, which at lightspeed she could've gotten to in less time than it takes to type. (Or did she usually fly that fast? Probably too easy to overshoot...) 

 And, yet another Statement of Ownership, Management, and Circulation: Paid circulation, actual number of copies of single issue sold nearest to filing date, 226,700. The press run was almost twice that.

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