"Turbolift."

This is a legit Star Trek problem--not to be confused with the Robot's Pajamas ongoing strip, Star Trek Problems, which is great! But to the point, how long is a ride in the turbolift--a glorified elevator--from the bridge to the transporter room? Yeah, generally it's about the same amount of time as whatever exposition you have to have before you get there. Next Gen may have laid off that a bit, and actually had briefings in briefing rooms, but it's ongoing. TV Tropes refers to it as Elevator Conference, so I'm not the only one to notice.
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I absolutely love the current, Dan Slott/Mike Allred run on Silver Surfer. It swipes liberally from Dr. Who, and I mean that in the best possible way: the addition of a "companion," breaks the Surfer out of his somewhat stodgy shell. And the title is often funny, something the Surfer's comics usually aren't. Excepting today's issue, of course: from 1990, Silver Surfer #33, "Nothing is Impossible, Man!" Written by Jim Valentino, pencils by Ron Lim, inks by Tom Christopher.

This issue, the Silver Surfer runs into the Impossible Man. Pretty much literally.

Huh, it occurs to me that Impy predates the Surfer by several years: Impy first appeared in Fantastic Four #11, while the Surfer wouldn't show until #48. But it's not surprising they hadn't met until now, since Impy is fun personified, or at least trying too hard; while the Surfer hadn't shown even the hint of a sense of humor, ever.

We're just taking a moment to point out this miscarriage of justice, that the Impossible Man has an action figure, while Spider-Ham doesn't!

Impy's on the run from the Ergonian space fleet, over a "minor misunderstanding involving their queen," and the Surfer is forced to disable their ships to keep them from killing Impy. Still, the Surfer makes him apologize and promise to never return to their world, with a scathing lecture. The Surfer, figuring Impy is at the same level as a child, decides to stop wasting his time yelling at him, and takes the Ergonians home. Impy, having learned nothing, mulls over where to cause havoc next, when the Ergonian captain gets the drop on him! No, that was the Surfer, showing Impy how it feels to be on the other end of a practical joke. The Surfer then leaves, feeling the Impossible Man will have learned his lesson and may even need a new name...yeah, not so much.

As Marvel sometimes did, this was a lighthearted little issue, before events turned serious again: the next issue featured Jim Starlin and Thanos!
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The Age of finally getting all four issues.

Finished reading Conan Red Sonja the other day. (That's how the title comes up, no 'and' or ampersand or slash or anything!) I got all four issues from the back-issue bins, but from various stores and never all at once!

In this series, Conan and Red Sonja meet only four times over the course of their lives, from young thieves to seasoned warriors. (As opposed to their dozens of encounters in Marvel's comics!) Their meetings and their destiny are tied to the wizard Thoth-Amon and a monstrous bloodroot that could destroy entire kingdoms. Thoth forces Conan and Sonja to battle for their respective homelands, and the loser's will be destroyed!

Conan's badly wounded before that fight, but still holds his own, until he decides to let Sonja finish him. (This was sometime after the death of his beloved Bêlit, and Conan was going through what could charitably be referred to as massive depression.) Will Sonja kill Conan to save her people? Well, you can probably guess, but it's still pretty good. The story does assume Conan and Sonja give a rat's ass for their homelands, though: if they were that great, they'd still live there...

Story by Gail Simone and Jim Zub, art by Dan Panosian.
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Five out of six, what could be sadder...

...actually, it may be sadder that I'm not sure the...ugh..."Justice Buster" is going to be a great Build-a-Figure Collect & Connect. We'll compare him to the Mandroid, once I get that last piece.

I originally had little intention of getting this one, but lucked into the Joker and TV's Flash at about $14 off. That convinced me to grab TV's Arrow, and then I figured I could wait a while for the next three figures and pieces showed up. Nope, they're out now: managed to get Earth-23 Superman and Zero Year Batman for about ten bucks off, total. But Reverse-Flash was already sold out! Well, sooner or later, I suppose.

Currently, I'm a bit medicated, so have a good weekend! Maybe I'll get back to the comics then...
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80-Page Thursdays: Justice League Quarterly #13!

I may have overpaid for this issue last weekend, but at least I didn't pay internet prices.

From 1993, Justice League Quarterly #13, featuring stories by Kevin Dooley, Paul Kupperberg, and Michael Jan Friedman; with art by Greg LaRocque, Mike Collins, and Mike Mayhew. And a cover by Joseph Michael Linsner that I think is responsible for most of the price.

This issue features the return of old-time JLA stooge, Ultraa, revived here as an alien warlord intent on mating with Maxima. She was also an alien warlord, and had come to earth herself intent on mating with Superman. When that didn't work out, she started after the obvious second pick, Batman Captain Atom. I never really thought of Cap as a romantic lead, but he had been married prior to getting his powers and being launched into the future (from the sixties) and had dated Nightshade and Plastique. (In fact, I thought he married her, but it didn't work out.) At any rate, Cap isn't sure how he feels about Maxima, or being used to continue some alien warlord bloodline; and even Maxima seems to be having doubts when Ultraa shows up to prove himself to her. Ultraa wants to fight Superman, until he hears about Captain Atom, and the ensuing battle goes back and forth several times, as Cap won't kill Ultraa, even though he's rrrrrreally asking for it. Ultraa's even more punchable than usual here...

Also this issue: another chapter of the Praxis serial, and a Power Girl story, set when her origin was retconned so she wasn't from Krypton, she was the granddaughter of Arion the Immortal. That retcon didn't do either character any favors, and I have the feeling DC knew Power Girl had fans, but had no idea what to do with her.
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"Sneaky."

Beginning a longer chapter! I don't think Hasbro's made any agents of SWORD yet--I had to think if they had done a figure for the crabby, green-haired Agent Brand, but I don't believe so. Still, Pool and Kurt will recap SWORD next time, they know as much as I do...
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Second attempt: X-Men Arcade Six-Player!

Get a cup of coffee or a pop and a snack, this is going to be a long one.

About a month ago, I saw on eBay a listing for "X-MEN 1/12 Scale MINI ARCADE MACHINE MODEL," "Brand New, Hand Crafted Artisan Model." Having plunked a lot of quarters into that game back in the day, I sprang for it; and it came last week. (It was an overseas listing.) It's very nice, except for one thing: it's not 1/12 scale.

1/12 (or 1:12) scale would break down as one foot in reality would be one inch in scale. It's the same scale Marvel Legends and DC Universe classics use, where a six-foot tall character would have a six-inch tall action figure. (More or less, putting aside size creep.) A six-player arcade console is seventy-seven inches tall, so not quite six and a half feet.

In-universe, Nightcrawler is 5'9", and Deadpool is 6'2"; and both of the figures of them I have handy are right about six inches even. So, it's not always consistent; but even then this model is too small. Time to take matters into my own hands, then!

Step one, as with the Star Wars model, swipe! With a little searching, I was able to find a papercraft model, created by "AtomicThumbs," with a link: http://members.shaw.ca/jato/x-men.zip. (I scanned that with an anti-virus program before opening it: check it again!) It was for 3.75 inch scale, but we all know 1/12 is the one true scale (I tease, it's merely my preference!) and did some conversion. I am 90% sure the model I bought used the same papercraft template. The marquee piece, with the X-Men title, isn't as high resolution on any version I've seen, but more on that later.

Step two: scale it up! My wife suggested I do it my damn self I try GIMP, which I downloaded and started playing with. And I'll not quite done with it yet: things I print at home came out differently than when I printed them at Kinko's! Let's look at my first attempt:

Not quite there: trying to use the folds like a papercraft model usually would, while trying to bodge together an interior to hold it together. So, for my second attempt, I measured everything out, and bodged together an interior base, out of cardboard, foam, glue, and tape. So much tape.

Still no idea how my first try is bigger, but I do prefer the laminated side panels on it. May have to redo those on the finished one with the joysticks; which are your basic stick-pins.

I'm not 100% sold on my second one, either: I had to use way more tape than I wanted to force the panels to lie flush. I do like the way the screen sets, though, since I might try to swap in alternate screens. I also am still trying to find a better resolution version of that marquee so I could redo it, but haven't seen one yet.


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I've bought these comics at least three times. Don't judge me.

I've been doing last issue reviews (tagged "the end") since 2009, yet I still haven't gotten around to one of my first last issues: Star Wars #107, Marvel's last issue of the original series, from 1986. We won't see it here either, since this one won't fit into the scanner any better than the other reprints I have of it: Dark Horse's Star Wars Omnibus: A Long Time Ago volume 5. (I got it on the cheap at Hastings, but sadly didn't see a link for it!)

So, I had the original issues, and the last Dark Horse reprint, but that one only collected from the (super-great!) #96 to the last issue; this smaller-format Omnibus goes from #86 on. I have some other reprint collections of the classic Marvel series, but I don't know if I have a complete collection. Well, I still have my beat-up old issues anyway.

Project time again, so have a good weekend!

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This issue, Vandal Savage talks a big game.

I usually think of Vandal Savage as just a very long-lived caveman, so it's easy to forget he's had other skills over the years. Like super-science, super-will, and super-BS. From 1975, the Flash #235, "Vandal Savage--Wanted Dead and Alive!" Written by Cary Bates, art by Irv Novick and Tex Blaisdell.

Barry Allen, the Flash, races home for a special candlelit dinner with his wife Iris, but finds Vandal Savage there instead! Savage knows Barry's secret identity, and tells him he'll never see Iris again. Flash tries to stop Savage with a super-speed vacuum, but is himself stopped cold when Savage grabs him! His speed rebounded back at him, the Flash ends up ricocheting around his home, destroying the entire building!

But while that was merely a trick, Savage's mental projection, Iris is still missing. As is Carol Ferris in Central City, kidnapped by Savage moments after a date with Hal Jordan! Savage is able to tear through Green Lantern's constructs, even causing GL to get hit by his own power-ring hammer!

At this point in continuity, Vandal Savage was from Earth-2, so GL and Barry go visit Jay Garrick, the Flash of that world, for info. Jay gives a little exposition on how Savage might have survived going up in a fireball in his last appearance, but then uncharacteristically bags out of helping his friends. They wonder why, but figure Jay would have to have a good reason; although Jay thinks Barry would not understand his problem...


Savage then projects images of Iris and Carol, to lure Flash and GL to his trap. The girls are trapped in a fireball like the one that supposedly killed Savage, with their oxygen running out; and Savage laughs at their attempts to extinguish the fireball. GL is knocked out, and Flash is unable to put it out with carbon-dioxide; but Flash's try was just a distraction: without Savage focusing on him, Green Lantern was able to scan through Savage's "super-evolved mental defenses" and find him. Defenseless now against the power ring, GL compels Savage to confess: he planned on using the fireball, Green Lantern's power, and Flash's super-speed aura to make himself immortal. (Immortal again, maybe? Maybe more immortal?) But Savage had also been bluffing before: while he had intended to kidnap Iris, she was already gone when he got there!

Meanwhile, on Earth-2, Jay feels bad for Barry, since he took Iris--and Barry "must never be allowed to see Iris again!" What was that about? Well, I'll have to keep an eye out for the next issue!

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"Deal."

Ah, that file! Why would Kurt's name be on it--and crossed out? Not because he was dead and came back to life, but good guess. It would even fit into Marvel continuity, such as it is anymore. But the file remains an excuse for people to come give Felicia and Satana (and Patsy and Val) the hassle.
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Honestly, it's not his worst showing here.

How much does a writer have to rehabilitate a character before said writer should be upgraded to creator? Gail Simone didn't create Catman...she only created everything good about him. (Except for fighting the Doom Patrol!) Before Gail fixed him up, we've seen Catman flummoxed by the Freedom Fighters and grounded by G'nort; and today he's manhandled by Manhunter, in 1989's Manhunter #13, "Trackdown" Written by Kim Yale, pencils by John Koch, inks by Pablo Marcos.

Current Manhunter and bounty hunter Mark Shaw isn't having a great week: an intrusive TV reporter has been interfering with his training, and Shaw had been looking for both his next case and his old source, Sylvia Kandrey. She had been a warrants officer, but giving info to Shaw may have hurt her career, and their relationship. Shaw does get a new source, though: a friend from Belle Reve Prison puts him in touch with a new name, Oracle...

I was going to mention, even though this was 1989, neither Mark nor Oracle have keyboards that resemble anything in reality; but would fit in on the bridge of the Enterprise or maybe the Hall of Justice. I don't think this was Oracle's first appearance, but there was a little clue there. Shaw works a few more sources, before attending a museum opening with his step-sister Eleanor. Outside, he sees something and makes a quick call, since he knows Cat-Man is going to hit the museum! Shaw mentions usually preferring to do proper surveillance and plan things out, but every once in a while you just have to make it up as you go.

Cat-Man (this issue has the hyphen, although I prefer it without) makes a showy smash-and-grab of an Egyptian cat statue, but tosses his prize at Shaw when he sees the mask. With his claws, he does a number on Shaw and some guards, but his escape is cut short when his car is being towed! Shaw had recognized Cat-Man's vanity plates, GATO-1, as Spanish for cat, and called him in on his parking tickets. Shaw gets Cat-Man with his power baton, and that's that.

Later, after taking another beating during training, Shaw is visited by Sylvia, who may be willing to forgive him...maybe.

This issue didn't have Doug Rice on art...which hurt every issue he wasn't there. (He did do the cover, but still.) Yale and her husband John Ostrander were usually co-writers on this book, and I always thought they were trying to get a real pipeline going between Manhunter and their other title, Suicide Squad: Shaw would catch a bad guy, they'd be immediately sent to Belle Reve to sink or swim there...! Unfortunately, I don't think Cat-Man did any time on the Squad, so my theory may be full of holes.
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My old apartment, I don't think I put anything on the walls the whole time I was there; but since the wife has Command Strips I've been slowly filling up my wall space. Today, we've got a couple metal signs, for Star Wars #14 and Star Trek #55!

The Gold Key Star Trek original cover proclaims "Spock versus Slott in: A World Against Itself!" Who the hell was Slott? Was that supposed to be Scott? Was this issue ever reprinted anywhere? Why does it feel like I've read that one, and it wasn't great? Why were Gold Key's covers always so much better than the interiors? All valid questions! I have no idea. We did take a glance at Star Wars #14 some time back, where Luke just friggin' clocks Han one. I noticed the sign does skimp on the background detail of the original cover, though.

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