The X-Men fighting the Cactus guy probably would've been more fun.

This was an oddball little story, with some villains that were probably forgotten when they first sppeared, but here goes: on their way home from the desert and teaming-up with Spider-Man in 1976's Marvel Team-Up Annual #1, the X-Men are flying back in their X-shuttle and drop Spidey off to tussle with Woodgod and the Hulk in 1977's Marvel Team-Up #53, conveniently reprinted in 1992's Marvel Tales #262, which features this back-up story with the X-Men versus Sunstroke. "A Case of Sunstroke" Written by Barry Dutter, art by Vince Evans. Sunstroke actually first appeared in 1987's West Coast Avengers #17, as an agent of the alien Dominus, working with Cactus, Gila, and Butte. He was not a breakout character.

This story sticks to the continuity, where Jean Grey had recently become the awesomely powerful Phoenix (sort of) but passed out, a lot. In fact, the story works in continuity very well, but it's not a necessary patch or anything. It's just five pages, which is short enough to not wear out it's welcome. I wouldn't mind if a lot of the upcoming Secret Wars tie-ins were five page shots, for the same reason...
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Now I want an Atom-strapped-to-grenade figure.

We took a look at Detective Comics #627 a couple years back: that issue featured four different versions of Batman's first appearance in "The Case of the Chemical Syndicate." (There's even been another version since!) Today's book has two versions of a story based on the cover of an earlier book: from 2004, DC Comics Presents: the Atom #1, featuring stories from Dave Gibbons and Mark Waid, art by Pat Olliffe, John Livesay, Dan Jurgens, and Jon Bogdanove; based on Julie Schwartz's idea for Gil Kane and Murphy Anderson's cover for the Atom #10!

In Gibbon's story, while foiling a robbery at his pal Professor Hyatt's, the Atom ends up falling down the time pool and getting trapped on Earth-Prime! There he meets Gardner Fox and Julie Schwartz, who help save the Tiny Titan by tying him to a live grenade and getting a Yankees pitcher to throw him at the time pool! Fox tells Atom Schwartz's ideas usually work out, but I have to wonder if the Atom was just too polite to tell them, "hell, no."

Waid's version features a new mob boss in Ivy Town, "Mr. Originality." He had the bright idea of trapping the Atom in a thermometer, then strapping him to a grenade, so it's not unreasonable that his men are too scared of him to turn state's evidence. But working the case, the Atom finds the boss is an unwitting accomplice, a sci-fi writer! Still, that may be tough to convince Chronos!

We saw the Adam Strange Julie Schwartz tribute some time back; there are six others left. I know I have at least three of 'em...somewhere.
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"Straight Home."

It occurs to me only now, that I probably could get several weeks worth of material out of Kurt berating Pool for his "nonsense." He would probably have to be exceedingly specific, though: "Oh, you said no Lovecraftian nightmares. My bad."
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As a parent, I have to say that's a legit fear.

Although the cover features the traditional try-outs and desk yes/no buttons, sadly there's no such scene in the issue: from 2008, Legion of Super-Heroes in the 31st Century #16, "The Untold Legend of Arm-Fall-Off Boy" Written by Matthew K. Manning, art by Shawn McManus.

In his first, and only prior appearance, Arm-Fall-Off Boy was a more burly character; here he's a slight young teen, but still with a remarkably useless power: he can remove his arm at will, while still controlling it. Just the one arm, though. Even though considered odd by most, he still dreams of joining the Legion and meeting Phantom Girl, "probably the least judgmental girl in the universe."

Meanwhile, PG, Cosmic Boy, and Brainiac 5 are helping a farming planet with a disgusting, tentacled monster; and Cos uses his magnetic powers to get PG to punch it in the see-through stomach. Still, her flight ring is bent, and as Arm-Fall-Off Boy makes his case, Starfinger attacks the Legion! Starfinger is played for jokes as well, although he does blow up a Legion Cruiser. I can't recall if either appeared on the cartoon series this book was based on, but they're pretty deep cuts for an all-ages title.
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That's not the best head-shot I've ever seen...

I enjoy watching Arrow with my wife, even though it's slowly driving her insane the way every actor on the show seems to have decided to pronounce the "R'as" in R'as al Ghul differently. But that reminds me again, how much that show swipes from Batman and his mythology. That and the show's stars are largely responsible for its success. I actually have an episode of Gotham running while I type this, and I swear Arrow takes more inspiration from Batman than Gotham does.

Anyway, over the weekend, the Comic Book Shop had that in-store convention; and I had the chance to get a pile of cheap books. Like today's! From 1980, Brave and the Bold #159, "The Crystal Armageddon!" Written by Denny O'Neil, art by Jim Aparo. Although the League of Assassins is traditionally thought of as working for R'as, they were working for themselves this issue, and were leaning on a scientist and his brother. Professor Hatter had created a formula that turned anything it touched into crystal; seeing the potential use as a weapon, the League tried to use the professor's brother has a hostage, but he was killed trying to escape. Distraught, Hatter decides to use the formula to destroy the world, fortunately Batman and R'as have been working the case and figured that silicone halts the crystal's progression.

Since this is a one-and-done, it's not super-deep, and slightly slowed by R'as up and dying partway through and having to hit the Lazarus Pit. Still, R'as probably wasn't as well-established a villain then as he is now, so this issue may have been a nice little introduction for some.
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Hoping to get my Rodimus Star for gratuitous hype!

I've been sick as can be all week, but I did have the chance to pick up Transformers: More Than Meets the Eye #38, the conclusion to the time-travel storyline "Elegant Chaos." A traitor aboard the Lost Light has gone back in time, but not to kill Optimus Prime as believed--he went back to kill Megatron! Trapped in a fading future, Megatron does not take that news as stoically as you might hope:

Rodimus and his team do stop the traitor, but the traitor's goal was never to kill Megatron, only to try and stop him from becoming the Decepticon tyrant that killed billions. So one of Rodimus's team takes it upon himself to kill Megs, citing it as the worst possible case for themselves and all Transformers, but the best possible timeline for everyone else in the universe; and the one that hated Megatron the most has to save him...meanwhile, thanks to time-travel, several plot points we've already seen are set in motion, including a cryptic message from the first issue! (They try to warn themselves about future events, but fail...perhaps luckily, since Cyclonus points out if they had heeded the warning, they'd probably all be dead!)

Humble Bundle has another Transformers bundle going now, and you can get the first 37 issues of the series! Do yourself a favor and pick up #38 now--call it speculation if you like--but you don't want to miss the conclusion. Even if Transformers, or licensed books, aren't usually your thing; it's remarkably well-crafted. All the pieces fit together virtually seamlessly--not unlike a good Transformer, for that matter.
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How I feel at work, all day:

Last year, I had a quarter-bin copy of Detective Comics #351 that was missing several interior pages; something that didn't happen to me very often--but did again with today's issue! From 1972, Action Comics #415, "Meet the Metropolis Monster!" Written by Cary Bates, art by Curt Swan and Murphy Anderson. The lead story isn't great, as a Frankenstein's Monster-looking creature attacks Clark Kent, knowing he's Superman! A dying man implores Supes to bring him back to life, to stop the creature, and Supes obliges! But neither the dying man, the monster, nor the hostage girl are what they seem! In the sense that none of it seems to make a helluva lot of sense, even missing some pages.

So, let's go to the back-up story! "Fill My Grave with Money!" Written by Bob Haney, art by John Calnan. Tycoon scientist and horrible person Simon Stagg is closing and filling in the "Darling Sapphire" mine, as a tax write-off. Mine foreman Weeks has a son with a "rare kidney ailment" and now no job or pension, 'cause Stagg rolls like that. After the mine is filled, though; Weeks contacts the surface on closed-circuit TV--which Stagg had put in to make sure the miners were working, because Stagg rarely did anything not absolutely Grinch-like. Weeks trapped himself in the mine, planning to escape unaided, to "dramatize my plight to the world." Stagg doesn't really care, since it's closed-circuit TV, so who'll know? Um, Metamorpho points out Weeks notified the networks and papers.

The gathering public makes donations to Weeks's family, and Sapphire Stagg begs-slash-extorts Metamorpho to rescue him; which he does, even though Weeks had a brief bout of monsterism from weird mine gases. Still, Stagg isn't through with Weeks, billing him for the rescue attempt. The government also shows up for their cut of the donations, and the sheriff arrests Weeks for "creating a public hazard, disturbing the peace, and fraud!" Weeks attempts to kill himself in the mine a second time, but Metamorpho stops him. Later that night, Weeks turns into a monster again, and attacks Stagg; who is forced to bribe his way out with the cash hidden in his mattress. Oddly, that wasn't Weeks, but Metamorpho, who cheats his powers a little to look like Weeks's monster form; and straight-up robs Stagg! Metamorpho gives the money to Weeks, and Stagg manages to take credit for it anyway.

I thought one of the few mis-steps of the current Flash TV show was introducing and killing off Simon Stagg the same episode, since I was hoping to see a Metamorpho...and because he's so awful, Stagg generates a lot of plots!
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"Ugly Turn."

Even with his sword drawn, I don't like Zemo's odds against the Black Widow. Crossbones, though...Cross is bad news. Coincidentally, he just showed up in Amazing X-Men, one of several bad guys gunning for the Crimson Gem of Cytorrak. ("Who Wants to be the Juggernaut?" might've been a better title for that arc...) He's a villain I like in that he has very few redeeming features: no heel-face turn coming for him, then.
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Somehow, the next issue wasn't Captain America versus the Hulk.

I had a guess, but it took a couple minutes for me to confirm Ronald Reagan was the President that pardoned the Hulk, in Incredible Hulk #278. I have to wonder if anyone gave Reagan any crap for this...

From 1976, Incredible Hulk #206, "A Man-Brute Berserk!" Written by Len Wein, art by Sal Buscema and Joe Staton, with a cover by Dave Cockrum. In the previous issue, during a battle with the bank robber calling himself Crypto-Man, the Hulk's love interest Jarella was killed while saving a little boy's life. Although fairly well-behaved of late, the Hulk loses it, and rampages towards New York City, intent on getting some help for Jarella from Dr. Strange. Yeah, that conversation is not gonna go well; but before that Hulk first takes out some jets in the desert, then helicopters at the Statue of Liberty, where he rips the torch and hand off to throw at them! (All the pilots parachute to safety, G.I. Joe style.)

The Hulk camps out in front of Strange's house, but the defensive spells therein prevent him from entering while Strange is out. Eventually the cops show up, but are nowhere near a match for him; and the issue ends with the Defenders confronting the Hulk. Which seems like it's going to be fights rather than hugs, but the Hulk probably isn't ready to cry it out yet. Pretty sure that's coming...
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"Her Love is Real, but He is Not."

There was a stretch on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, where Buffy, going through a rough patch, becomes involved with the vampire Spike. Which I thought was kind of perfect: she could invest whatever emotions she wanted into the relationship, and if it didn't work out, well, at that point Spike was a soulless monster. (If handsome and witty!) It would be easy enough to end without feeling too hurt about it. As a defensive measure to avoid some heartache, it makes sense.

Of course, men and women do the same thing now: when they're in a relationship, their partner is perfect; when it's over they're...not. But I kinda thought the Scarlet Witch's attraction to the Vision could be explained a bit there. And we saw some time back James Robinson's conclusion to Marvel's Heroes Reborn, which featured the Marvel and Wildstorm universes smushed into one, and the Scarlet Witch involved with the android Spartan! That's just a bit of substitution, though.

This isn't the first time I've used the tagline from A.I. for a joke, and I've yet to see the movie. Still in no hurry.
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I thought she was taller, but there's already two scales here.

We'll limp to the end of this week with this one: a couple weeks back I got Funko's Game of Thrones Brienne of Tarth figure. The OAFE review there describes the actress that plays Brienne, Gwendoline Christie, as 6'3"; and the figure is a little over 6 inches. That Superman is a seven-inch DC Collectible one, though, so still taller. Anyway.

I didn't buy all the cheap GoT figures I could have, though; and I have to wonder if that decision will haunt me later. Still, I know there's a couple around I still might be able to get on the cheap, while I'm waiting for more Marvel Legends to show up. Later today I'll be hitting up Hastings and the Comic Book Shop, so we'll see what jumps out at me.
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Kind of want to go back to the B-plot...

I don't know if this quite qualifies as halfway plot switch, but I kinda wanted to see this thread more than the main one! Not that the main one was bad, but still...from 2008, Hulk vs. Hercules #1, "Smash of the Titans" Written by Greg Pak and Fred Van Lente, art by Khoi Pham, Paul Neary, Dennis Calero, Eric Nguyen, Reilly Brown, Carlos Cuevas, Terry Pallot, Chris Sotomayor, Bob Layton, and Guru EFX.

Athena is trying to advise young genius Amadeus Cho, who's lost faith in the Hulk but gained it in Herc, that maybe he shouldn't. She tells him a story, from when the Hulk was a mindless brute roaming the extra-dimensional Crossroads (and Dale just covered the last issue of that stretch the other day!) and the goddess Gaea sends him to Olympus! (Athena as much as says Gaea is crazy and spiteful, but Athena seems to badmouth just about everyone.) Ares and Athena have a run-in with the Hulk, who is taken in by the Titans Callias and Zeno, who may have been horrible monsters at one point but were beaten, pathetic, and kind of OK guys now. Still, the Titans convince the Hulk to attack Olympus, and Herc is called in to stop him...

...interrupting his Unlimited Class Wrestling match for charity at Madison Square Garden! Having trounced every super-strong wrestler on the undercard, Hercules throws down with Ben Grimm, the Thing himself! Sadly, there's not enough time this issue for the Thing's match to go on past this page. The rest of the issue goes back to Olympus, where the Titans are revolting, and Hercules goes straight to murdertown on them. Mindless but relatively innocent, the Hulk is dismayed at the carnage, and the spell he was under at the time sends the unhappy brute back to the Crossroads. Athena tells Amadeus that maybe Herc might be as much a monster as the Hulk, maybe worse; and Herc seems to scowl over at them over his drink. Also this issue: the return of Demogorge, who's apparently part of Gaea's ongoing "kill the previous gods to see what comes next" plan.

Great issue...maybe not as good as a solid issue of Hercules wrestling the Thing, but still.
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"Filing."

I had that Zemo figure for some time before he ended up in any strips, so I'm not sure why the upswing now. But the Satana/Black Cat plot line may run a few more episodes.
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This issue: Multiple fabrications! Actual paper files! And Green Lantern not being helpful. At all.

From 1973, Action Comics #429, "The Man Who Wrote Superman's Obituary!" Story by Elliot Maggin, art by Curt Swan and Bob Oksner.

When Clark Kent swings by the Daily Planet morgue (in the sense of keeping files and reference, not corpses!) to check out a file, he sneaks a quick x-ray peek at Clark Kent's file--only to find it's written in Kryptonese! It does reveal his secret identity to boot, but the Kryptonese part seems more troubling somehow. Superman checks with everyone who knows his secret identity, or at least these few, thinking someone may be playing a joke on him. Green Lantern seems not especially interested, but he may be one of the few who could do something like that: his ring would be able to write in Kryptonese, wouldn't it? Supergirl would know the language...maybe Batman or Flash could learn it real quick?

Anyway, after a story involving a telepathic prehistoric plant-man tyrant, that's a total load Superman uses to bait the trap, Supes exposes Ryan as the one behind the obit, his ticker somehow receiving a direct feed from Superman's giant Kryptonese auto-engraving diary. (Which actually seems less far-fetched today, than a morgue full of actual paper files with an actual human manning it!) Ryan had actually learned the language, but wasn't going to expose Supes or anything. If something happened to Clark Kent, the obituary would be pulled, but probably wouldn't be readable without help; and Superman would either be dead or no longer using that identity.

So most of this issue is a lie, and not a lot makes sense, but it does have Green Lantern being a jerk, so...
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"Harassment."

Well, it is nice to see some harassment around here that isn't Hal Jordan related, anyway.

The previous Scarlet Witch figure, from Toy Biz, was pretty awful. Offhand, I'm not sure the old figure even made it into the background of any homemade strips. This new one may not be perfect, but it's a vast improvement. I didn't use her little spell-zap accessories today, but we'll see them soon enough.
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