"Perfunctory" would be the word I'd use to describe this last week, as I couldn't do some stuff I usually enjoy so instead I think I did the bare functional minimum of everything to work, stay alive, etc. I need a bit of a pick-me-up, so a fun comic should hit the spot, and luckily enough this one might have two doses! From 2012, Marvel Adventures Spider-Man #23, "There Can Be Only One!" Written by Paul Tobin, pencils by Matteo Lolli, inks by Terry Pallot; and "Control Freak!" Written by Paul Tobin, art by Rob Di Salvo, color art by Sotocolor.

Highlander reference notwithstanding, nobody gets decapitated in this one, it's a kids' book! Besides, how would you decapitate MODOK? Spidey's having a busy morning wrapping up purse-snatchers and carjackers; which is weird since he's also guarding a Stark armored car from A.I.M! The beefier, guard Spider-Man doesn't make a good showing, since he's just a decoy in a suit, an actor hired to scare off thieves. It doesn't really work, although even when confronted by the real thing, MODOK still seems convinced, since there's no way a scrawny little nothing could be the genuine Spidey, right? In the end, Spidey has a pretty good sense of humor about it, even as you can see the actor, still in costume, getting interviewed by the news.

"Control Freak!" features Fantastic Four baddie the Puppet Master, who starts by using pigeons in a robbery. Luckily, Spidey has back-up: his girlfriend in this series, the mutant Chat, who could talk to animals. Once Spidey squashes Puppet Master's clay effigies, he's "just a bald guy in a cheap suit!" Chat probably shouldn't let herself be seen by police detective George Stacy, but this was the second-to-last issue of this series, so OK.

I bought a little stack of these during quarantine, and luckily didn't plow through them all at once! Pretty sure we'll have at least one more before the year is out.
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"Month."

I don't think I've ever had adobo, and I'm not sure my chili is up to rigorous hobo standards. Point Beer is real, though: Mike Baron used to mention it all the time in Badger and possibly Nexus. Not 100% I've ever had it, but I drank a lot of...I don't think we called them "microbreweries" in the 90's. Anyway.

Moon Knight isn't Tony Stark rich, but does okay for himself: particularly in the Marc Spector: Moon Knight era, there were assorted corporate ventures like Spectorcorp. (And PhalkonCorp, Lockley Cabs, Truncheon.Tech...I may not have made all of those up.) The waitress was going to have an even bleaker rejoinder to Kurt's alt-universe restaurants theory, but I thought it was too dark. (And I thought of an even darker one now, but one that may apply more to our unfortunate universe.)

Sat asks for a bottle every time she orders, like an old western: yeah, bottle of what? She may not be that particular.

The Alpha Flight set may be the cheapest it's been. About forty bucks down from what I paid, so hop on that!
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Yes, I bought the second issue again; it's just easier, all right?

I wonder where I bought it, but three years back we checked out the second issue of this; and last week we found the whole series for $2.50! From 2004, Identity Disc, written by Rob Rodi, pencils by John Higgins, inks by Sandu Florea. (Today's scans are from the fourth issue.)

A.I.M. has the titular disc at their secret rocket base in Manhattan, and the guys' infiltration has not gone well: Vulture had put up quite a fight to disable the power, so Juggernaut, Sabretooth, Deadpool, and Bullseye could get past a retina scan; but the base commander wasn't fooled. While in the middle of a mighty rant, he's interrupted by massive explosions: Vulture warns that A.I.M. shot up their generator shooting at him, and the whole place could go up. Sabretooth wants to push on to the disc, apparently unwilling to risk being blackmailed, while Vulture attempts a break for it.

Swarmed by A.I.M. troops, Deadpool plays decoy, to give the rest time to get to the elevator. Sabretooth heads down, while Juggernaut and Bullseye argue who should hold the line: Bullseye judo-flips Juggernaut down the shaft, where he lands on Sabretooth, flattening him like a cartoon character. Juggernaut pushes on to the disc, then checks to see if it's real--and is shot in the mouth by "You! You're the one behind this!" Whatever he was shot with, Juggernaut goes down, as explosions destroy the base.

Outside, one survivor makes his way out: a wounded Vulture crashes, immediately swarmed by cops. He was kind of the whipping boy/low man on the totem pole most of this series: After Sandman is seemingly killed, Sabretooth sneeringly tells Vulture he doesn't have his "boy toy" to protect him; and Deadpool is pretty disparaging of him too. But will the proverbial worm turn in the last issue?
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If I ever finally collect this entire series, I'm actually going to be sad; because finding issues here and there was a lot like a new episode here or there. From 2012, Bongo Comics Presents Futurama Comics #63, "Igner-ance is Bliss!" Written by Ian Boothby, pencils by Tone Rodriguez, inks by Andrew Pepoy.

Professor Farnsworth seems to have become young again--oh, wait, that's actually his son with Mom, Igner, dressed up as him for Halloween! Sure, it was July, but it's a nice thought; although his mean older brothers pick him up and steal his candy. No time for that, though, as there's a delivery to be made, to "Shangri-Linux? The Robot Pleasure Planet?" Yes! Since its atmosphere was too acidic for organic life, and since Bender couldn't be trusted to make the delivery himself; Fry, Leela, and Zoidberg are transferred to robot bodies for the trip. After the delivery is made, Bender shows them "robot thrills are like human ones times a thousand," and they're quickly sold. So to speak: Bender then discovers the sinister secret of Shangri-Linux, that Mom and her sons then wipe the memories of their robot guests and resell them!

While Bender is able to warn the others easily enough, they're too distracted by new robot pleasures like Voltroning to do anything. Luckily, Bender still has the brain transfer ray; which may come in more handy than he thinks.

With all the Pinocchio references in this one, I'd say put it on while you read it; but Futurama still isn't on Disney+? Aw, man.
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"Surprising."

Ah, perhaps there's maybe one reason to look forward to the Snyder cut: more footage of Batman's Knightcrawler! Which probably cost Wayne Industries like $200 billion and was really not that effective against the Parademons. Like, at all. I suppose we should be grateful Bats didn't let the cops have it, though.

The Batfleck shown was from Batman v. Superman, and with a hard plastic cape probably wouldn't fit in there half as well as Nightcrawler, surprisingly, did. (And, I actually saw a heroically shelf-worn BvS Batman, that very one, at a Walgreens this week! Probably still twenty bucks.) There were cheaper, slightly shorter Justice League figures than the Movie Masters, with sound chips to interact with the Knightcrawler. I know I have a Parademon somewhere, I bet it will yell at it. And the Knightcrawler does scuttle around in a pleasing fashion! I couldn't spring for the pet deposit on this place right now, so it may have to do. (I say 'deposit,' but it was just a stout fee; and my neighbors have some dogs that would bark even more than they do now if I had one.)
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So I made fun of this storyline and made a few guesses about Wonder Woman's then-new costume back in 2010 without reading any of their actual comics. Better late than never, as we've got one checking both boxes today! From 2011, Superman #708, "Grounded, part 6" Plot by J. Michael Straczynski, script by Chris Roberson, pencils by Eddy Barrows, inks by J. P. Mayer with Julio Ferreira.

This was a crossover with Wonder Woman, around WW #600, which was Straczynski's other big-time project at DC at the time...both of which he was kind of asked to bail on. By WW #605 Phil Hester was co-writing, because DC had asked Straczynski to focus on Superman: Earth One. The GCD notes read like he didn't have as much input on Superman, and the plots may have been a little bare-bones, and there was an issue pulled in there somewhere? Was that the one where Clark has a beer with his dad and somebody, possibly imaginary, complained? No...Superman #712 was pulled, possibly because of a Muslim superhero featured, and replaced with a long-shelved and ridiculously sad Kurt Busiek Krypto story set after Superboy had died. And what did it matter anyway, since the New 52 was looming: the "Grounded" storyline would continue to the last issue, #714. I don't recall DC doing anything big or special for the end of this continuity; possibly because they may have wanted to leave it open in case they had to run crying back to it.

Back to the issue at hand: Superman is greeted by four young super-people in variant S-costumes, who bring him to the Fortress of Solidarity. Supes knew of the Superman Squad from Kal Kent, the Superman from the One Million event's 853rd century; and this fortress is explained as not a place for them to be alone, but a place for them to come together. They even glance at a past (fake-)event, the "Crisis in Infinite Eras," but that's not why they're visiting Superman: after the destruction of New Krypton, Supes had lost seemingly all faith in "truth, justice, and the American way." His walkabout was an attempt to rekindle his belief; and the Squad believes either he will, and there will be Supermen for ever, or he won't and the legacy will end there. (Or create an alternate timeline without them, but either way.)

They drop Superman off in Lincoln, Nebraska; because they knew he would go on to inspire someone there. Supes isn't sure his legacy is best for humanity, but his reverie is interrupted by a bus going over a bridge. That's easily handled, but does catch the attention of an unfamiliar looking woman--to him, anyway: it's Wonder Woman! Except her continuity was straight-wrecked at that point: either Diana had never been Wonder Woman before at all, or no one remembered she had. They don't know each other, but as the flood waters rise and a tornado approaches, Superman trusts her to help save people from the flood while he takes the tornado. She apparently hadn't been a "superhero" as much as a warrior at that point, but does well, until one of the victims throws her down for wrecking her plan: a mysterious woman had intended to give Superman the old impossible choice, save the few or the many, but WW stepped on that. Still, she doesn't get to finish the fight, since she still had people to rescue, but Diana does later thank Superman for maybe showing her something.

Hmm. I think I pulled this issue out of the same quarter box as most of Infinite Crisis, and doesn't Batman have a line in there to the effect of "the last time you inspired anyone, you were dead"? Sometimes DC seems to have a really hard time sorting out Superman as an inspiration, and him not realizing his own influence seems almost willfully naïve. You show Supes generations of heroes directly inspired by him, and I could see a humble, farmboy "ah shucks" to it. Instead, he looks at them like "...really?" I know for a fact I say "that wasn't very encouraging" quite a bit; but I think it fits here.
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"Troubling."

All the kids sat well except for Jubilee, with her coat. The recent Age of X-Man crossover went with Nate as a creepy, sexless, false messiah: it's not necessarily the direction I would've gone with him, but it's a direction. I know Cable is much younger than usual now for some reason, which makes poor X-Man redundant--more redundant, then. (EDIT: If I had any sort of opportunity, I would absolutely do something I don't always like when other writers do it, and roll X-Man back to the 'recognizable' version: younger, jacket, weird relationship with Maddie Pryor, nosebleeds. The hook would be, first he thought this world was a million times better than the Age of Apocalypse, but was now starting to notice everything awful here--not necessarily related to mutants, either.)

I don't know if the X-kids are supposed to stay on Krakoa: that seemed like a rule Professor X would make, and some of the X-Men would completely ignore. Unrelated, but "X-rated-X!" is from a dubbed version of Hard Boiled, one of my favorite movies. The subtitles/dubbing has been updated from the old VHS versions though; I miss them a little.

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This week, on Space Bucky...

Special guest-star, Grandpa Space Bucky? From 2015, Bucky Barnes: the Winter Soldier #4, "Chapter four: Past the Known Universe" Written by Ales Kot, art by Langdon Foss and Jordan Boyd; and Marco Rudy.

This was during Bucky's brief stint as "the Man on the Wall," defending earth from alien threats. Wait, is "the Man on the Wall" a Game of Thrones reference? I don't think this lasted long, though; since I know he was with most of the original Thunderbolts sometime around then, too. Marvel seemed to love the Winter Soldier, yet either be at a loss as to what to do with him, or unwilling to commit to a direction. Meanwhile, DC has somehow decided Jason Todd absolutely should have a comic as the Red Hood, just let it run. Doesn't seem fair.

Bucky is partnered up with another character Marvel can't seem to do anything with comics-wise, Daisy 'Quake' Johnson. While Bucky is getting some lovin' from Ventolin, an alien queen he was supposed to be assassinating (he's going to kill her the Kyle Rayner way: date her, then wait, it'll happen...) Daisy tries to sort out the story of Bucky's future self. Old Man Bucky says Bucky and Ventolin have hooked up many times across the multiverse, and that he's seen it happen, and helped it happen. Weird, but I'm jealous; that's way more helpful than my future self has ever been. That bastard's probably pissed at past-me...Anyway, Old Man Bucky was basically a retiree from 200 years in the future, and why not? Thanks to him, his universe was at peace, and his job was done. His robot helper (resembling a chattier version of Tony Stark's robot helper arm from the MCU) 'tattoos' a white flag over the red star on his cyborg arm; but when he checks on alternate reality versions of himself and Ventolin, he sees the 616-Bucky--ours--dead. Time to take off the white flag, and say a sad goodbye to his helper, as he did not seem to think he'd be coming back.

While Ventolin shows Bucky "the polarity paradox engine," Daisy races to catch up to him and pass on a warning. She runs smack into an unexpected face, though: Crossbones! The recap page had mentioned he was there, but was lacking on the how or why. I wouldn't have expected to see him in space, but Marvel seems to have a clearer idea what they're doing with Crossbones than Bucky or Quake...
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I had to look this up on Comichron: this was the #7 best-selling book for April 2018, although it was down about 30,000 copies from the previous issue the same month. It's probably the best-selling book with Booster Gold in a starring role in years. I pretty much hate it. From 2018, Batman #45, "The Gift, part 1" Written by Tom King, art by Tony S. Daniel, inking assist by John Livesay.

And we open with a three-page sequence of Green Lantern Hal Jordan using his power ring to kill himself, in front of Booster Gold, just to prove he had the will to do it. Booster seems more impressed than disturbed by this. As Skeets complains this is probably the worst thing he's ever done, they go looking for Batman, over a Gotham City that looks war-torn and largely on fire. Which, hell, I'm only assuming is worse than usual for Gotham. We then get the first check-in with Bat-supporting cast members in an obviously altered timeline, with Tim Drake as a workaday cubicle drone for Wayne Engineering, Jason Todd selling the lethal "Todd-Taze-Tire," and Duke Thomas seemingly partially lobotomized by his family to keep him from going all Joker like a good chunk of the rest of the city. There is no Damien, since while R'as has taken over a chunk of the world, Talia doesn't think there are any worthy men, and she will be the last of the line. It's not very encouraging, and gets worse when Booster and Skeets light a makeshift Bat-Signal--and get shot at, by Batman!

As he hangs Booster, Batman explains he can't risk super-heroes becoming "Jokered." Rescuing Booster for about the billionth time, Skeets also notices this Batman is Dick Grayson. Booster decides, they should just go see Bruce Wayne then. He complains about Skeets being "mean," which might be the one joke that landed for me.

Bruce Wayne is celebrating his birthday, with a dance with his dear old mum; as Booster comes flying through a window. It's a bit of an inversion of the classic "Batman busts-in" panels; as instead of a dark creature of the night, we get a shiny showboat. Is Booster high? That also would help explain him trying to explain to Bruce what's happened. Based on "For the Man Who Has Everything," because DC just can't help it with Alan Moore anymore; Booster wanted to try and show Batman that his life was "worthwhile," by showing him what would happen if Bruce Wayne's parents hadn't been shot. Yes, without Batman, Gotham City and the world are horrible; but how Booster thinks Batman would remember anything of him changing the timeline back and forth is beyond me. Bruce is actually shaken by this news, since he had nightmares, and a sinking feeling something was wrong with the world and that he would be asked to "fall." As Booster thinks mission accomplished, Bruce smashes Skeets with a fireplace poker! "(Alfred) will show you the way out."

Man, I think Skeets is tougher than that, but I don't like seeing the little robot get 'hurt.' Honestly, Skeets was the only likable character in this thing: King writes Booster as a dolt. I might've liked this better if it had been one issue, but this was a three-parter, so I don't think Booster was done screwing up yet; and honestly it feels like a bit of a stall to prepare for the Bat-wedding, which didn't happen anyway. On the other hand, it does undercut the belief that Batman 'created' his villains, since the Joker, R'as, and President Cobblepot were there without him.
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"Statistic."

That Killer Croc may not quite be gamma green, but he's oversized. On the other hand, that Spider-Hulk seems to have shrunk a bit: he's still a fair lump of plastic, but Build-a-Figures seem to have the freedom to go a bit bigger. Eyeballing it for a second, and Spider-Hulk is pretty close to the same size as the Thing, which is probably the biggest non-BAF we're going to see for a while.

The last time we saw Jackal and Sinister, it was the pre-Hasbro, Toy Biz Mr. Sinister. There are fewer and fewer of those that haven't been replaced or upgraded.
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