Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Leslie Luthor is rocking that purple jumpsuit. RRRRowr!

Continuing our coverage of Superman #349: After checking out the now mostly-female JLA, Superman decides he's seen enough, and has probably just entered an alternate dimension on his way home from space. Sure, I figure it's like when I drive tired and miss the exit home. Just like that. He heads back for space, but hits an invisible, impenetrable barrier. Suspecting a trap, he heads back to earth and the Daily Planet to research the alternate earth's history. Because when I think, how can I escape this alternate reality? I check the AP!

Supes watches Clara Kent back at the Planet, and figures she's Superwoman, until he sees Superwoman fly by. Checking Clara with his x-ray vision, he can see she's not a robot, or wearing a disguise. That's...that's not cool, Supes. He's willing to write it off as "odd," and checks out a roster of Superwoman's foes: Leslie Luthor, Toywoman (looks like Orville Reddenbacher), Bizarress, and Mxyzptlk.

Starting to piece it together, Superman stops Superwoman, as she flies by for about the fourth time. Superwoman immediately administers him a beating, calling Superman "The Most Dangerous Outlaw the World has Ever Known!" While that gives Supes the answer to where he is and what's going on, it doesn't help him as Superwoman and Superboy pummel and stuff a kryptonite-filled fishbowl helmet on him. (Supposedly, just enough to weaken, and not kill him. Rao, I hope the government doesn't get wind of this little containment tactic. "We'll keep the prisoners in helmets full of just enough carbon monoxide to keep them out of trouble!")

Superman wakes up staked to the ground in the Mojave desert, where S-Woman explains he will be kept prisoner until he can be tried for his super-crimes. "Super-crimes" sound awesome, don't they? Wonder Warrior is left as guard, although he's quickly hypnotized by Superman, using the reflection off his kryptonite-gas helmet. Whether that's a Super-power, or just that men are hypnotized by shiny things, you decide.

Then, Superman stops his heart, to lure a buzzard to break the glass. Really should use something a little more sturdy than glass for that, but Supes owes that buzzard a steak or a cow or something. Also, if my lungs were full of the one thing that could kill me, I'd be a little less cavalier about stopping my heart. The conclusion tomorrow: make your guesses now! Unless you have the issue, you cheat.


Faceless Henchwoman said...

Mxy doesn't look feminine in that picture, so I'm going to guess that it's all his fault.

googum said...

Totally. It's just, well, happenstance that the two issues of the regular book that I got in over a year, both had Mxy.