Friday, June 08, 2007

Can even Mr. Miracle and Big Barda escape...sexism?
Why from Dave's? Why not?
With all the fuss lately about busts and comicquettes or whatever damn thing; I saw this over at Dave's Long Box (and elsewhere, but I saw it there last and it was the easiest place to get the picture!) and thought about it a bit.

Is Big Barda holding her husband Mister Miracle's cape as an act of subservience? Not bloody likely. Scott Free is secure in his masculinity and 100% on board with having a wife that can crush a Sherman tank until it can fit in a Coleman cooler. Besides, he has a midget manservent to do his ironing and so forth.

What's the point in beating Mr. Miracle, if you can't pants him and tie him up?All right, is Barda holding his cape in a bit a showmanship, as Scott either begins or ends another daring escape? That would make more sense, but no! There's another reason, another sinister, creepy reason that none before had even dared to think of. Or occurred to think of. Anyway, sinister, creepy, Scott Free's terrible secret: He's a never nude, like Tobias F√ľnke on Arrested Development. The shame!
Do not touch Scott's costume. Seriously.
You know, Batman's right there, Scott. He probably has something on him to help you out. Like a massive sedative.

At this point in "Mile High Tombstone!" (from Brave and the Bold #138, written by Bob Haney, art by Jim Aparo) Batman and Mister Miracle have been captured by French acrobat, escape artist, "human rodent," and "human tennis ball" Cosimo. (Miracle calls Cosimo those last two.) Think Batroc the Leaper minus the mustache and less flash...and what does that leave you? Yeah, nothing. Cosimo is like an evil, embittered Cirque de Soleil refugee...yet another redundant phrasing there, sorry.
Soon to be #1 on Google for 'Pantsless Mister Miracle.' I'm sure.
Miracle is drawn on later pages as wearing a diaper-like set of trunks, so Cosimo didn't strip him buck naked before throwing him in the net. (And what about Batman? I don't think Cosimo even took his utility belt, but Batman seems like he's waiting to see where this goes.) I don't know if it would matter either way, though; because I reckon Scott has...secreted multiple escape tools on his person. Probably hidden in his hair, or under fake skin, or swallowed. Where did you think? But Bat's and Scott's escape is profoundly disappointing:
Oh, not even! French citizens, send DC your protests now!
Like most Brave and Bold villains, Cosimo was one use only, and gets blown up only 12 pages into the story. The rest of the story is spent outsmarting Kraken, the crime supercomputer, and escaping the deathtrap island Trond-hag. I'm not going to say it defies belief, but Mr. Miracle's instant helium balloon escape isn't even the most unbelievable thing in the issue.
Hey, I think I downloaded that! It's from Batman's second rap CD, but bit of the second album jinx there.
So, now that you know Scott Free's unfortunate...condition...you can see the secret meaning of the Barda bust. I think, knowing the whole story, we can all agree there is nothing exploitative or sexist about. Nope. Not at all...

2 comments:

Engage said...

There are dozens of us! Dozens!

Rusty said...

Take a look at the Adam Hughes bust of Mary Jane, holding Spider-Man's costume. This seems to be a theme in Adam Hughes' Busts. (OK, the THEME in Adam Hughes' Busts ... they're HUGE!)

Still, Barda is the strongest female hero in the DC Universe. She is regularly picture holding a broadsword with one hand. Why is she holding a cape? She's either handing it to Scott, "C'mon Honey, let's go stop Darkseid." Or she's holding the cape, while Mr. Miracle makes some dazzling escape. "If you will look to my left, you will see Mr. Miracle making a dazzling escape! I said, 'To my left!' No. Look to MY left... Yes, I know. I have HUGE boobies! Get over it and look at my husband, please."