Lana's an innovator in the field of getting mad at you for something she imagined you did. A real trailblazer.

Although, she has some competition on that front this issue! From 1972, Superboy #181, featuring "Super-Marriage or Super-Flop?" Written by Frank Robbins, pencils by Bob Brown, inks by Murphy Anderson; and "The Menace of the Mysterious Voyager!" Written by Leo Dorfman, pencils by Bob Brown, inks by Murphy Anderson.

Spoilers for a comic almost as old as I am: the "Mysterious Voyager," discovered in a nearly-instructible bunker buried beneath Metropolis, claims to be Jules Verne, but as you can probably guess, he's a fraud. He gets Superboy to take him to a bunch of top-secret wonders of the modern age, because he's really a spy. An American spy: he's a counter-intelligence agent, on a mission to prove Superboy was a security risk: "You may be super, but you're still a boy! You can be tricked...hoodwinked...flimflammed!" Duped! Bamboozled! Smeckledorfed! Let's see: at least three full-time agents, months of training, authentic period props and fake time-machine, an underground bunker, a demolition crew, and your usual James Bond spy camera crap; your tax dollars at work! And they still can't fool Superboy, who notices "Verne" would have been more into music, and maybe not had a shirt made of nylon. But the government getting mad over Superboy's imagined misdeeds and shortcomings can't hold a candle to the master, Lana Lang; who defends her super-boyfriend for about thirty seconds into this one, "Super-Marriage or Super-Flop?"

Lana's friends tease her about Superboy not having time for her, but Lana is big enough to know he has to go where he's needed. That kind of maturity doesn't hold up for long; as Lana imagines a future with the Teen of Steel, after they settle down and she can nag him into getting a real job, like...door-to-door salesman? Selling weights around the world, to scrawny farmers and nebbishy nerds alike! Lana's friends point out a plothole in her fantasy, though: buying weights from Superboy, wouldn't turn anyone into a Superboy, it would be false advertising.

Superboy, innocently enough, returns to the malt shop, with a literal passel of orphans he saved from drowning, and Lana's still pissed at him? Daaaaaamn! Lana's friends cheerfully tell the confused Superboy, they aren't possessive like Lana...that reads a lot more suggestively than was probably intended. In front of the orphans, yet! Read more!

"The End" Week: Spongebob Comics #85!

Every year we probably have at least one cancellation that seems to have come out of nowhere, and here's one: from 2018, SpongeBob Comics #85, featuring "The Creature from Goo Lagoon!" Story and art by Graham Annable; and "Dutchman Went Down to Bikini Bottom" Story and layout by Derek Drymon, pencils and inks by Jacob Chabot.

I got this series for my son from the first issue, and while I'm not sure it sold a ton in comic shops, it was available at other locations and presumably doing all right. Maybe not as good as on Free Comic Book Day: like their Bongo linemates the Simpsons, I feel like it gave away way more issues than it ever sold. But, the Wikipedia page reminds us Bongo shut down in October 2018, and SpongeBob creator Stephen Hillenburg died two months later; and I don't think Nickelodeon has bothered to bring it back since.

Your mileage for nautical nonsense may vary, but these are never too bad. "Dutchman Went Down to Bikini Bottom," for instance, is a "Devil Went Down to Georgia" riff with Squidward. I may have to help out with the GCD, they were missing this issue; but if you're a more traditional comic fan, this series featured covers (and occasionally other work) from artists like Jerry Ordway, Bill Sienkiewicz, and Kelley Jones! Read more!

Admittedly, I do seem to be trying to "Accumulate Them All!"

"Ocean Powers Collection" ad by Gregg Schigiel, from the most recent issue of SpongeBob Comics, #66. May have to upload that cover later...

I never had any Super Powers figures as a kid: I had Superman, Batman, and Robin Mego figures, as well as Star Trek, then Star Wars figures through Empire; then nothing for a few years. Still making up for lost time here...I do remember seeing a Super Powers Green Lantern for sooooo cheap in a Kay-Bee Toys a couple decades back, and stupidly didn't buy one, even if the squirting power ring probably wouldn't have fit even my dainty fingers. And I do have a Super Powers Batmobile, now that I think of it...

Still, DC Universe Classics and the Four Horsemen paid a long tribute to Super Powers, revamping them all. Which is why you got the occasional oddball like Golden Pharaoh or Cyclotron. I've been missing my DCUC figures lately, though; even if I'd need another detolf to display them properly. Something to keep in mind, then; but have a good weekend!
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For people who think Mothra's scary. Or the moth from Silence of the Lambs...

There's an early episode of Spongebob Squarepants named "Wormy," in which a friendly worm turns into a harmless butterfly. By "harmless" I of course mean eye-meltingly terrifying.

I'm not sure at what size butterflies would become horrifying to me. Any spider bigger than a dinner plate? Scary. A butterfly might have to be the size of a compact car before it reached the same level of disturbing. A butterfly the size of a man, possibly startling; a guy in a butterfly suit? Not so much. A guy in a butterfly suit with a gun? That's more confusing than anything.

I swear to god, I would love to read a comic where the night watchman actually took care of this himself: "Yeah, I was on my rounds, when this freak dressed up as a butterfly jumps out at me. So I pistol-whipped him a few, then called the cops. Yeah, I think 'jump out dressed as a butterfly' was his whole plan."

So, he can't fly in that suit, but he's swinging by a rope and shooting at Captain America in it? Well, it had the virtue of not having been tried before, at least. Although, I guess a lot of stuff may not have been tried yet, since this story first appeared in Captain America Comics #3 in 1941! "The Queer Case of the Murdering Butterfly and the Ancient Mummies," story by Joe Simon and Jack Kirby, art by Jack Kirby, inks by Reed Crandall. It was reprinted with some edits as "The Weird Case of the Plundering Butterfly and the Ancient Mummies!" in 1966's Fantasy Masterpieces #3.


Bonus: Cap talks some smack and hits a huge brute with a dinosaur tusk. Hey, pull a knife on Cap and see what happens...

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So ready for the weekend...

...maybe not that ready. Sadly, I'll probably have to put on pants at some point this weekend: Toys R Us has a free Mega Bloks Spongebob Squarepants, and the Youngest and I might try to see the new movie! It'd have to be pretty good to beat the old one, though.

Maybe I'll luck out and TRU will have the new Marvel Legends. Have a good weekend!

From Marvel Adventures Fantastic Four #39, "Silent, but Deadly" Written by Chris Eliopoulos, pencils by Ronan Cliquet, inks by Milton Santos. Reprinted in Spaced Crusaders, and well worth a read!
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"Atlantisbottom."

I never get tired of Namor and Aquaman complaining at each other. I'm kinda looking to the new Spongebob movie, actually...

Just a quick one today, since I have to get to work on some strips...and watch the playoffs all weekend.
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So I'm running a bit behind because I'm getting ready to go on vacation, and then I pick up a comic and realize how behind I am on those, too: from 2008, the Brave and the Bold #13, "American Samuroids" Written by Mark Waid, pencils by Jerry Ordway, inks by Scott Koblish and Bob McLeod.

Unfortunate title aside, this issue is a fun throwback to the days when B&B was a Batman team-up book, with Bats joining forces with the Jay Garrick Flash. As Batman investigates a murder, he's attacked by a robot with a samurai sword, that is then taken apart by Jay. Jay's on the scene since the victim was a friend of his, who had been working on "artificial intelligence in chemical form." That research was stolen by T.O. Morrow, who's working with the Penguin! The Riddler paid off the Penguin with an old warehouse, which turned out to be full of old androids Morrow created, and now they're upgrading them with the new A.I. Penquin plans on getting into the "global security business," but they need supplies from Wayne Industries, who won't sell. He's even tried to have Wayne whacked a few times, which for some reason turns out to be surprisingly difficult. Lucky bastard...



Meanwhile, at the Batcave, Jay and Bruce have a discussion about mentoring: Jay also taught several scientists, along with the Flashes that followed him, which surprises Bruce. Bruce then makes himself a target, which draws in the...ugh, samuroids. Jay realizes the A.I. is making the androids more and more difficult to defeat, but the bacteria used for it is vulnerable to antibiotics. As Batman fights them, Jay whips up a batch and neutralizes the lot. They then follow the androids' chemical trail to Morrow's factory; somewhat surprisingly, they then blow it up. Morrow disappears into the timestream, although I'm not sure that's his doing; Batman implies that'll happen to him and it's more of a punishment. In the end, before they're off to new cases, Batman tells Jay how much he respects him.

This is exactly the type of story that probably wouldn't be doable under the New 52, since there isn't the same sense of legacy. And I don't know if T.O. Morrow--who was a workhorse of a villain in old JLA stories--has even appeared yet; or Red Tornado for that matter? And I don't think DC has been giving a lot of work to Jerry Ordway lately, either; but he has a book on the shelves now! He's been contributing art for a Mermaid Man cereal serial in Spongebob Comics! Hope he's having fun, since that story surely is. (Story and some art by Derek Drymon.)
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"Best Intern Ever."

Still sort of out? Looking like Thursday we'll be back to our usual schedule. Regular strip tomorrow, the start of a new Nightcrawler and Deadpool serial!
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"Still Moving."

The moving continues! Right now we're still at the pack-and-organize phase, taking our time, doing things right. Later will be the "shove everything in a box and throw it on a moving truck" phase.
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Oh, Nosferatu.

Taking a mental health day today, folks; so enjoy this picture of my Youngest son, Spongebob, and Graf Orlok, a.k.a. Nosferatu.

Why, you ask? Well...

OAFE.net has a great write-up on Aztech Toys Graf Orlok, so go check that out instead, 'kay? Regular nonsense should resume tomorrow.


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"The AquaScum 3000 isn't even going to make a dent in that."

The Oldest had a goldfish for some time when he was a kid, that lived for a surprisingly long time with no filter, and with me cleaning his bowl, if I'm honest, rarely. 'Course, the Oldest also had snails, leftover from a school project that he brought home, that likewise survived for quite a stretch. (For snails, anyway. I'm assuming they generally don't live to be 80.) At any rate, if I had a fishtank like that goldfish swam around in for this strip...I wouldn't use it, since, I'd have to boil any figures I put in there.

Anyway, a quick one today with Naut Kei Loi from the Green Lantern Classics. I like this head better than the Medphyll one, but I can see why a lot of people probably bought two.
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Good grief. I have 80-Page Thursday posts written for January, I've started links and pictures for the sixth annual year in toys, and I've even got one done for next year's Retro Toy Week; so why isn't Friday's post done?

Because I've been sitting about watching zombie movies is not an acceptable answer...I watched George A. Romero's Survival of the Dead the other day, even though I hated about every character in it fifteen minutes in: while it has it's moments, there is a lot of handling of the idiot ball. That, and the ostensible lead, a National Guard Sargent (formerly a Colonel) who deserts, was previously seen in Diary of the Dead, robbing the students from the prior movie, at gunpoint. That scene is shown as a flashback early in Survival, and made me want to punch him in the face for the next hour and a half. I don't remember Diary of the Dead as being great either, but I did pick up the original Dawn of the Dead at a pawn shop the other week. I want to sit down and watch it, but I get tired of zombie movies ongoing message that zombies are bad, but people will kill you. (The entire Aliens series likewise beats you over the head with that one.) It's probably true, but still.

Really need to sort out that pile of DVD's I haven't watched yet...a running joke with my Oldest is the Incredible Hulk DVD: we saw it at the cheap theatre, but went late, and he managed to fall asleep during the final Hulk/Abomination fight. I bought the DVD new, and we still haven't opened it. I didn't think it was too bad, and watched it a bit back on FX. Might miss Norton in Avengers, even.

For a couple days there, I was exceedingly worried about the #Occupy Wall Street protesters. While it would be nice if they had a clear idea of what they wanted to accomplish (although, the fear is that their concerns would be broken down into easily digestible/ignorable talking points) I think they're doing a good thing. For example, if this country cared enough to punish bankers and financiers that exploit or abuse the system; to the same extent that, say, drug offenders are prosecuted...throw a few Wall Streeters into a federal lockup for their crimes, and I think you'll find their associates hold to the straight-and-narrow a little more firmly.

No, my worry was that it could take a determined 1% type about twenty minutes and maybe, I don't know, a hundred thousand dollars to crush #OWS. Step 1: Get a disguise. Step 2: Gather up three or four garbage bags full of one-dollar bills. It's a one-time expenditure, and what, you want to pay that money as taxes? Step 3: In disguise, take said money to the roof or convenient window, and start dumping it on the crowd of Occupy protesters. Playing Prince's "Trust" at this point is completely optional, but I'd strongly recommend it. Step 4: Get out of there, removing your disguise when you're out of sight. Don't sit around watching the riots you've just started; you can watch them at home, on Fox News, over and over and over. Even if 1% of the crowd goes crazy for the cash, the entire Occupy movement will be lambasted as greedy, violent savages that just want a handout; even though you would get much the same results dumping money at a NFL game or a girl scout meeting. I can't decide if this is an irrational fear...or wishful thinking, 'cause that would be kinda cool.

In other news, it feels like winter is already starting, and I'm already lamenting the lack of exercise I'm about to get for the next couple months; since left to my own devices I'll wrap up in the blankets and try to hibernate. On the upside, my cholesterol should be in the negative numbers by now, since I've eaten box after box of Chocolate Cheerios. How many Spongebob toys did we get for the Youngest? Um...


The promo appears to be over, but if I happen to see a box with Squarepants on it, I'll be compelled to buy it, since out of eight possible figures, we only got five or six. (Luckily, the Youngest doesn't really care about that.) I'm sure somewhere, someone's pulling out their hair about not getting a baseball Spongebob; and I have a spare one on my desk at work.

I did have a spare few minutes to re-read a recent purchase, The Mammoth Book of Zombie Comics. For an anthology, it comes in with a pretty solid hit/miss percentage, although I was slightly disappointed since I already had Scott Hampton's adaptation of Robert E. Howard's Pigeons from Hell. It's quite good, though. Well worth picking up, especially if you can find it for $3.49! (Try Hastings.) It's not quite big enough to use to bludgeon a zombie, but it's close.
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