Random Happenstance

The most recent Oh Gosh, Oh Golly, Oh Wow! Podcast got to the splendiferous Excalibur #14, "Too Many Heroes." They wondered if Claremont and/or Davis might not be taking the piss out of crossovers, in particular, as Caplok mentions, "Acts of Vengeance," which they noted didn't make a lot of sense. Oh, I liked that one! Out of costume, an unrecognizable Loki gets the big name bad guys together with a simple idea: villains get their asses kicked by the same heroes over and over again, because they've seen all their moves; so what if everybody switched up? Then, um...profit? It probably would've made a hair more sense if Loki was doing all this not because he thought it would get him his big revenge, but rather just to stir up trouble and have some laughs. Today's book has the "Acts of Vengeance!" corner tag, but it's more of a blink-and-you'll-miss-it reference that still feels like Claremont being snarky. From 1990, Uncanny X-Men #257, "I Am Lady Mandarin" Written by Chris Claremont, pencils by Jim Lee, inks by Josef Rubinstein.

"Lady Mandarin" debuts here, announcing herself to the crimelords of Hong Kong, before just walking all over their goons: she already has a better costume and higher win rate than the Mandarin, if we're honest. While she may be supposed to seem all ice queen and scary, she does have a "I won I won I won!" moment at the end, pleased with herself for getting the W for her master. Meanwhile, Jubilee and Logan come floating into town, with Logan seeming to cow the local authorities merely by wearing an eyepatch. Most readers would probably have known that was his Patch disguise from his solo book; but if you didn't, you're going to be in the dark and seething just like Jubilee. His rep may have been all that was holding him together, though: Logan was still in bad shape after recent issues, with his healing factor barely working; he was also seeing his old friends Nick Fury and Carol Danvers, like friendly ghosts. I forget how that one resolved...

After a brief check-in with the mysteriously young Storm, framed for murder by the Shadow King in Cairo, Illinois; Logan brings Jubilee to the Hong Kong offices of Landau, Luckman, and Lake. (I thought that name was a callback to a long-defunct comics company, but it refers to the founders of the Forbidden Planet comic shop, which also made an appearance in Excalibur.) The office is manned by Rose, and Jubilee notices a photo of her, much younger, with the ageless Logan, in front of a "Blade Runner" looking city. While the adults talk, Jubilee is sent shopping with Rose's granddaughter.

In what would be her traditional outfit, Psylocke trains against the Hand, using her psychic knife, but failing to psychically notice Lord Jonin. Jonin has another job for her, to take out Patch; although he wonders why they bother, feeling that Mandarin was pissing his credibility away again fighting American super-heroes, but the Hand was sworn to serve him, so...were they, though? I don't think Mandarin had control of the Hand for long. While Jubilee gets grabbed, we get another check-in page, with Forge and Banshee on Muir Island. Banshee suspects something is up there, possibly with Moira, although the eavesdropping Polaris wonders if this was her fault, since ever since she lost her magnetic powers she seemed to be spreading negativity somehow. I'm not sure how that wrapped up either, since he would have her magnetic powers back (and her boyfriend, too!) when she went to X-Factor. She gets taken over by Legion before she could dwell more on it, though.

Logan doesn't really have to go looking for Jubilee or Rose's granddaughter, he just has to be seen and let the Hand come at him. He's able to handle ninjas well enough, but Lady Mandarin has the mesmerized Jubilee. In the fight, Logan cuts her helmet, revealing the newly Asian Psylocke, whom he recognizes somehow, maybe by the purple hair. She gets Logan with psychic knife, not only downing him, but revealing his identity, and the Hand would be glad to get ahold of him...to be continued!