"Aquadad."

Oddly, the idea for this one struck while I was walking to work, and had the Depeche Mode song "Black Celebration" stuck in my head. Which has nothing to do with anything...






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If AvX #11 hasn't been spoiled for you yet, well...

When is a spoiler not a spoiler? When a lot of people forgot the character killed off was still alive...

Go now if you're still trying to keep it a secret, 'kay?

Still, it's been on the New York Daily News and CBR, Topless Robot and elsewhere.

Per Marvel Editor-in-Chief Axel Alonso, “He needed to be the casualty in this story. There’s no more oh-sh-- moment that you can bring than having a son killing his father.”

Per writer Brian Bendis, “He was this thing that was just floating around the X-books, with not the same amount of gravitas that he once had. I did point out that he would matter more in death.”

Per Executive Editor Tom Brevoort, “This is about as serious and lasting a death as you’re apt to get in one of these."

Maybe this is one of those things like seeing how the sausage is made, but the behind the scenes comments say more about the death of Professor Xavier than anything in that issue. I don't enjoy a lot of the big Marvel events lately, but I think it might be because they all seem to be written with a very similiar plot beat structure...like somebody gave the Marvel Architects a book on Writing for Screenplays 101. At that point in the story, someone had to die to show stakes are high. Professor X died to add some drama, and Marvel felt he was a character they could stand to lose, at least for a while. That's all.

I'm not a huge fan of the Professor, but he deserved better than merely being a cog in the crossover mill. Mixed that metaphor there, sorry. But it's also tough to care about his death, when Marvel doesn't seem to.

Still...sooner or later...

Anyway, couple of things: I'm not entirely sure Bishop or Cable are dead dead in current continuity. I think Forge is, but I didn't dig him up. I thought I had an old Toy Biz Thunderbird somewhere, too...and since this pushed it back, on Monday, a new Aqualad strip! See you then.



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80-Page Thursdays: Dark Horse Presents #4!

Over the last few months, I've been buying new issues of Dark Horse Presents and marked-down copies of the first few: right now, I think I'm missing #6, so we'll take a quick gander at Dark Horse Presents #4, with stories by Steve Niles, Evan Dorkin, Howard Chaykin, and more; and art by Jill Thompson, Carla Speed McNeil, Ricardo Delgado, and more.

While the serials "Number 13," "Rotten Apple," and "Doc Mendonca and Pizzaboy" didn't grab me; I warmed a bit more to "Criminal Macabre" this time around. "Finder" and "Beasts of Burden" both continue to entertain, and I was curious to see where "Resident Alien" goes: a stranded alien lives in seclusion, disguised as a doctor; but he gets pulled into a police investigation when the town's coroner is murdered...

There's also two one-shot shorts: an "Age of Reptiles" dinosaur story, and "The Protest," about a young boy's childhood in Iran, 1978. Even if you don't know the historical background there, it gets you up to speed quickly, and a lot of the story is going to be common to most kids growing up. DHP so far has been up and down, and this one is definitely up.
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"Search your feelings,you know it to be true."

Black Manta's voice would be so perfect for that. I have to wonder if that wasn't intentional. And when new Young Justice episodes will be on...


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What is this, First Church of Mummy Jesus?

Is that normal? The crucifix-figure wrapped in bandages, I mean; not the evil spirits. I haven't been in a church lately, I wouldn't know...

Today's comic is a quick read with great art, and I pick it up again every so often. And every time I read it, I still have only a vague idea what's going on. From 1999, Feeders, written by Shane Hawks, art by Mike Allred.

At a hospital, a nun with a dark secret meets a young artist, who nearly died in what would probably best be described as an accident in self-flagellation with a crown of thorns. The artist was fixated on his sister, and thought to purge himself of his urges; but instead nearly bled to death. And that's the tip of the iceberg...

The nun is apparently dead, but her ghost is still roaming around doing her nun duties around the hospital, cutting herself, and eating the occasional soul. (In 1999, self-cutting would have been pretty novel...I was sorely tempted to say 'cutting edge,' but no.) Now the artist can see ghostly, zombie-like spirits as well; and then his sister shows up...

Feeders was a tie-in with Hawks' indie film, Eyes to Heaven. I thought I might have seen it ten years ago or so, but I'm not positive on that. This was from around the time that Mike Allred was doing a bunch of other, only tangentially-related to comics, stuff, like his band or the movie Astroesque. (I know I've seen that one, even if it's vague now.) As usual for Allred, though, this is a pretty book; although there are some panels towards the end in a distorted repro style that don't really work for me. There's also a bit of a trick with the black borders as the book goes on, but that doesn't seem to go far enough either. Still; pretty, and I don't think Allred goes into horror as often anymore, so worth flipping through maybe.
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An odd page with Azrael/Batman...

From Primal Force #7, "Lessons" Written by Steven T. Seagle, pencils by Nick Choles and Greg LaRocque, inks by Barbara Kaalberg. Liam, the new Jack O'Lantern, receives a series of lessons from the mysterious Water Woman; to see if he can become a hero and "head of the Brotherhood of Leymen." Did that sentence mean anything to you? I didn't really read this series, so...

Still, the Water Woman is surprisingly plugged in, giving Liam examples of heroism from Superman, Wonder Woman, Hawkman, and Green Lantern--in fact, the Water Woman actually lets Liam in on Kyle's secret identity in passing! She also uses Azrael, the new Batman, as a bad example; but notes that he's from a brotherhood not unlike the Leymen.

An odd issue, and it doesn't tell you much about Liam or the rest of his team; but it's a bit of a snapshot of mid-90's DC.

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"Double whammy."

We are surprisingly ahead of schedule lately, as far as homemade posts go; so this week and next at least, we'll have an extra strip on Friday!

And hi-keeba, see you next week!



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There's the temptation to "belt" out "Joker Face."

From DC's new 52, the reveal of the new look for the Joker:

The Joker had his face removed by a villain called the Dollmaker, and appears to be holding it on his skull with a belt.

From the Simpsons episode, "The Bob Next Door" (Original airdate May 16, 2010) where Sideshow Bob trades faces with his cellmate, to escape prison and try and kill Bart again:

Beat to the punch by Sideshow Bob. Ow.



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80-Page Thursday: Justice League Quarterly #11!

Recently, I found another JLQ issue I hadn't read before: Justice League Quarterly #11, with stories by William Messner-Loebs, Michael Jan Friedman, and Pat McGreal and Dave Rawson; and art by Mike Wieringo, Lee Moder, Dave Cockrum, and Mike Mayhew.

In the lead story, a Middle-Eastern emir enlists the female Leaguers--Wonder Woman, Power Girl, Crimson Fox, Dr. Light, and Ice--to serve as bodyguards to his wife after a superpowered assassination attempt. There's more to it, but the emir is such a sexist bastard it's continually surprising that even Wonder Woman has any patience with him. The ladies get to know each other with a slumber party--it's pretty tame, so don't get your hopes up, pervs--and although the curveballs in the plot feel like they come out of nowhere; Wieringo's art looks like early Adam Hughes here. (Looking it up, this issue was from 1993, possibly just before or around the time Wieringo took over Flash.)

The rest of the issue is a Martian Manhunter story, where a reporter friend of J'onn's exploits racial tension for ratings; and the first part of a Praxis story. It looks so 90's, but who knows if I'll ever get to finish it: JLQ #13 has the third Praxis chapter, but also has a Joseph Michael Linsner cover, and I've only seen it as fairly expensive.
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"Postgame."

It occurs to me Azrael would be the very epitome of Batman...for a twelve-year-old borderline psychopath like Damian.





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Today, I review a hundred issues...sort of.

Sometimes, eBay delivers a second chance. In 2007, a company called Graphic Imaging Technology, Inc. had the license for Marvel Comics, and released six DVD-ROM's collecting 100-issue runs of Fantastic Four, Spider-Man, Avengers, Hulk, Ghost Rider, and today's selection, Uncanny X-Men.

I say second chance, since I remember seeing them in stores, but never bought one. I remember the price as being maybe fifteen bucks, but I'm not positive on that. The DVD-ROM's were one of those things I would see, mentally debate purchasing, but always put off: I had several of the issues in question, for one thing. Then one day they disappeared, possibly when Marvel took back their license, so they could sell the issues themselves at their Marvel Digital Comics Unlimited website. The GIT discs became either relics, or collector's items, depending: you can probably still get the Ghost Rider, FF, and maybe Hulk ones for a song. The others may cost you...

First up, GIT did a good job with the presentation: the menus are easy to use, and the issues are all scanned well. The issues are presented from cover to cover, including ads. The downside is...put bluntly, this run of issues isn't the best of Uncanny X-Men. It starts with #363 and runs to #474, plus four annuals.

#363 was from January 1999, written by Steve Seagle with art by Chris Bachalo...and was part three of the six-part storyline, "The Hunt for Xavier." Already we see a little problem with this collection: often, the X-Men books were interconnected. A story might start in the adjectiveless X-Men title, then alternate chapters with Uncanny. This DVD-ROM only gets two chapters of that particular six-parter, but that happens multiple times. I don't know if GIT is responsible for that error, or if they were only licensed for that stretch of books and did the best they could.

Putting aside the missing issues, what about the comics that are actually there? The first seventeen or so issues are from a strongly editorially-driven run of the book; and are entertaining if workmanlike. Alan Davis writes most of it, often with art by Adam Kubert. There's the X-Men's visit to Skrullworld right before Galactus eats it, Wolverine's "death" and transformation into a Horseman of Apocalypse, and the wrap-up of the eleven-year-old dangling plotline the Twelve. Then we get two chapters of the three-part High Evolutionary story, and then...Chris Claremont returns to the X-Men books.

Claremont took over on Uncanny X-Men #381, with Adam Kubert art, and a team consisting of Beast, Phoenix, Cable, Gambit, and Storm. But he would only stay on until #389, then Scott Lobdell would take a few before Joe Casey started his experimental, if not well-received run. (Casey discussed his Uncanny run recently, check it out.)

Then with #410, Chuck Austen took over, and would stay on the book until #443. Which means this DVD-ROM includes the seven-part Azazel storyline, "The Draco. Yay...if Casey's run wasn't "well-received," Austen's is somewhat reviled. Not entirely undeservedly.

Luckily, Claremont would return again with #444, and he brought Alan Davis with him. Yay! Davis seems to make everything better. This run isn't as...well, Claremonty as the second one; which makes it a bit more enjoyable. He would stay on until #473, but his last storyline would be wrapped up with Tony Bedard on script in #474, the last issue on the disc. (Ed Brubaker would take over on #475.)

Again, this 100-issue collection is by no means the best of Uncanny X-Men...but that pain is mitigated somewhat by the price. I paid about $27, which makes it about twenty-seven cents an issue. That forgives a lot of sins. You could read all those issues--and many, many, better ones--at Marvel Digital Comics Unlimited, but you would have to either subscribe for the month or the year, and you have to be online to access them. The DVD-ROM you can use whenever, and they are printable PDF's, so I suppose you could print off a copy of "The Draco" for someone in case they thought I was exaggerating about it. It may just come down to whether or not you can find a copy of the DVD-ROM on the cheap.

One more thing: in the Bullpen Bulletins in #363, in Stan's Soapbox, Stan Lee answers a question from me! There's your selling point right there!

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Yet another book on the list of "Comics I'll Always Buy from the Quarter Bin."

Just like Crystar #6, the Heckler #1, the execrable Warlord #10 (second series)...among others; if I find a cheap copy of Scud the Disposable Assassin #9, well, it's coming home with me.

Cover by Rob Schrab, who also did the interior art and the script with Dan Harmon.



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"'Random' testing."

Get used to that, "Speedy." Get used to that...

Have a good weekend!
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80-Page Thursdays: Dark Horse Presents #8!

From February, 2012, Dark Horse Presents #8, featuring stories from Brian Wood, Martin Conaghan, Alan Gordon, Evan Dorkin, and more; with art by Thomas Yeates, Jill Thompson, Jimmy Broxton, Simon Rohrmüller, and more. There was a variant cover for the Massive, but I went with the Duncan Fegredo Hellboy one, which leads right into the opener, "An Unmarked Grave." Tying into both Hellboy and B.P.R.D., with regular writers Mike Mignola and John Arcudi; Kate Corrigan investigates Hellboy's disappearance in the ravaged England. Of course, Hellboy died in The Fury #3; but that may not even be the worst news Kate gets...

Evan Dorkin and Jill Thompson keep the strong start going with a Beasts of Burden tale, "The View from the Hill." The dogs (and the Orphan, the cat) investigate an unattended flock of sheep, only to discover the flock has a sheepdog, and a secret. It's really good, and although I've only read Beasts a couple times, I wonder if it isn't starting like B.P.R.D.: get to know the characters as they do a bit of demon fighting or ghostbusting, and the series slowly builds to a bigger apocalypse...

There's another chapter of Tony Puryear's Concrete Park, another of Neal Adams' Blood, and the conclusion of this portion of Marked Man from Chaykin. I'm usually not a big fan, but I did like "the Once and Future Tarzan," wherein an older Tarzan is accosted and pulled back into action. I'm also not up enough on the character to recognize the setting, or maybe that's left to be answered--it looked like a sparsely populated future London to me.

The preview for "The Massive" from Brian Wood and Kristian Donaldson left me a bit cold, but you can read the entire thing at io9. I preferred the short "Time to Live," a sci-fi done-in-one. The issue wraps up with the dark humor of "The Many Murders of Miss Cranbourne" and "Skultar."

We're probably going to keep writing up DHP, since as I type this I'm looking forward to #9 with Lobster Johnson and Paul Pope. But I'm really looking forward to Nexus and Evan Dorkin in the book; if they have those and Mignola stuff, it'll be like the book was made just for me.
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"Batman Azrael Forever."

While setting this one up, I thought it would be fun if DC made a Batman RPG like Marvel's X-Men Legends or Ultimate Alliance games. Say the player starts with four characters, selected from Batman, Inc; or various Batgirls or Robins, Outsiders, and so on. The game would begin with small street crime, then individual villains, working up to the big organizations like the Court of Owls, the League of Shadows, or Leviathan. (Ah, Leviathan! I forgot that one in the strip!) Wow, there's a lot of big crime in Gotham...and for purposes of the game, you could throw in Kobra, the Secret Six, and more.

The fun thing about a game like that, would be playing with the characters you want. It would be tough to go without a Batman, but I'd love to be able to pick guys like Orpheus, the Knight, the Stephanie Brown Batgirl, or the Creeper.









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My Ideal Saturday Morning Lineup!

Over at Poe Ghostal's Points of Articulation, Poe had an assignment for the League of Extraordinary Bloggers: create your ideal Saturday morning schedule. He also says he never watched cartoons before 8 AM, which is crazy: I would get up at five if a good cartoon was on. (I also lived in the Mountain Time Zone, which meant things were on at different times than everywhere else.) By that standard, I should add another two hours here; but my runners-up are probably other people's favorites: Super Friends, classic G.I. Joe and Transformers, and the modern ThunderCats--which didn't really have an intro!

This schedule's pretty much just for me, but here goes:

7 AM: Grandizer


7:30 AM: Battle of the Planets


Otherwise known as, gateway drugs to anime.

8 AM: Space Ghost


8:15 AM: The Herculoids
Embedding disabled everywhere, for some reason...

8:30 AM: Jonny Quest


God, I love the intros for the classic Hanna-Barbera action shows. Great music+two seasons worth of explosions in a minute.

9 AM: Thundarr the Barbarian

Possibly the bleakest set-up for a Saturday morning kid's show ever!

9:30 AM: Sam and Max: Freelance Police

My only comedy pick, although I could've been persuaded for the Tick or Tiny Toon Adventures--although I'm terrified the latter may not have aged well. Still, Sam & Max deserved a longer run and more exposure.

10 AM: Legion of Super-Heroes

Another show that deserved better--I'm not sure if it's all on DVD yet.

10:30 AM: Justice League

If you like the Justice League Unlimited opening better, you are wrong. Just so you know.

11 AM: Avengers

Wait, wait, wait: not that one. Avengers: Earth's Mightiest Heroes


That's better.

11:30 AM: X-Men: Evolution

Wolverine and the X-Men might've been a better show, but Evolution wasn't as grim.

What can you tell by my list? I'm both old, and still watch cartoons. That, and I'd watch this lineup every Saturday now.

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Hmm. I had seen mention that the cyborg Coldblood was slated to appear in Iron Man 3, then forgot about it until I stumbled back across this one. From 1989, Marvel Comics #26, featuring Coldblood. "Rise and Shine, part 1: New York" Written by Doug Moench, art by Paul Gulacy.

Since the first chapter, like all MCP chapters, is just eight pages; there's not much room. The titular Coldblood wakes up behind the wheel of his sporty, gun-laden supercar; in the ruins of New York City. Since he doesn't remember anything, his onboard Computer has to bring him up to speed: this issue predates similiar conceits in videogames, but it feels like the first, training level. (And Coldblood and the reader don't know it yet, but it is!)

Moench and Gulacy are pros, so there's a level of craftsmanship; but it's not reinventing the wheel or anything. In fact, Coldblood's interaction with his computer is very much like another Marvel cyborg, Deathlok. After his initial serial, Coldblood would actually show up in Deathlok's comic, although I don't know if anyone commented on how they look like before and after pictures. (Coldblood looks sleek and polished, while Deathlok looks like a corpse that's going bad.)

I wonder if closer to the release of Iron Man 3, Marvel won't release a collection of the 80 or so pages of Coldblood. I probably had all of them at one point, since I think I was reading Marvel Comics Presents for the 25-part Black Panther serial.
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