"Tactical."

Will Kitty Pryde be able to save Pool and Kurt? Or will Cyclops wreck things, as usual? And how many Star Trek episodes has Deadpool watched, anyway? None of these questions answered next time!
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My girlfriend would say "stall" is usually step one of my "plotty plans..."

We saw Mr. Nice, Mastermind, and the Perfessor some time ago; if you recall, they were the Batman Adventures shout-outs to DC editors Archie Goodwin, Mike Carlin, and Denny O'Neil. And today we're checking out their second appearance: from 1994, the Batman Adventures #20, "Smells Like Black Sunday" Written by Kelley Puckett, pencils by Mike Parobeck, inks by Rick Burchett.

Even though the Perfessor is busy working on his memoirs, and Mr. Nice is too nice for his line of work; Mastermind is able to convince his cohorts to band together for one more job. Step one: break out of prison, which the Perfessor manages in a cakewalk.

Step two: stall. Mastermind leads the Dark Knight on a merry chase through Gotham, but it's a ploy to keep Batman occupied until it would be too late for him to stop Mr. Nice; and Mastermind had weaseled a promise out of him: stop being nice until midnight! Unburdened by his good nature, Nice is a virtually unstoppable fighting machine, and has a free run at the nuclear missiles at Fort Briggs!

As Mastermind sing-songs "I'm a nuclear power!" he may have counted his chickens before they've hatched. Although Batman can't get there in person, he's still able to call Jim Gordon to stop Mr. Nice, who can't turn away from his character after all.

Neither the best nor most essential of stories, but still well-executed fun. There's probably a moral or two here somewhere, but I was wondering how often Batman falls for that sort of distraction: he can't be everywhere at once, after all.

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I'm working late all this week, which isn't helping my mood at all: I'll probably be used to that schedule just in time to go back to going in early. But I've been a little sad lately, anyway.

First up, Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. and Arrow have returned, and I caught the first few episodes of Gotham and the premiere of the Flash. Flash may be my favorite so far; while my girlfriend's worried if Ollie and Felicity get together it'll ruin the show.

Gotham is well made, but would it have been so hard just to do a Batman show? As is, like any prequel, it's a little limited since you know certain characters are going to be alive later; and while I'm watching football I keep seeing the commercial where young Bruce asks Gordon if Gotham can be saved. Gordon either gives a blisteringly naive and optimistic yes, or outright lies to Bruce; I kinda wish he'd admit no, probably not. Since we know Gotham City is still a corrupt cesspool of crime by the time Batman shows up, we know Gordon isn't going to make a lot of headway, so the show could become an exercise in Gordon banging his head against a wall.

(Incidentally, I'm not sure how old Bruce is supposed to be at this point, but it feels like he should've started seriously training by now. It would be pretty easy for him to sell that to this gruff version of Alfred, as not feeling safe and wanting to get back to a secure place.)

Anyway, four TV shows based on comics, that's great. None of them have a comic I'm interested in reading right now. That seems like a problem. I think Marvel's working on another S.H.I.E.L.D. book, and I've read a couple of Scott Snyder's Batman, but it hasn't completely won me over. Still, the comics seem like an afterthought anymore, don't they?

Another example: Bleeding Cool had a post with Chris Claremont explaining how the X-Offices can't create new characters right now, because the movie rights would go to Fox instead of Marvel/Disney. This is also why Marvel is allegedly dropping all support for the Fantastic Four, with Fantastic Fourever: rumor has it certain execs don't want to do anything to support a movie from a rival company, but the X-books and Spider-Man are too successful to cut out. FF isn't. I was wondering if Wolverine's death wasn't somehow related to that: I read Wolverine #12 the other day and wasn't really impressed.

Still, I was more disappointed with Chris Claremont's Nightcrawler #7, with plot by Marguerite Bennett. Kurt mourns the death of Wolverine, which would be fine; except we all know damn well Wolvie's coming back, probably sooner rather than later. This isn't the writers' fault, they're kind of in a corner: if Kurt laughs off Logan's death (especially since Kurt himself returned from the dead recently) it's a little too meta and it undermines any drama the Wolverine writers may have been able to wring out of it. You could take the angle of Kurt not believing it, or being convinced that Logan would return, and no one else believing him: DC did something to that effect with Red Robin after Darkseid "killed" Batman. Or, you can take the hit, and do an issue of Nightcrawler explaining how awesome Wolverine was. It does give artist Todd Nauck an opportunity for a greatest hits tour of X-history; he ought to get a pretty penny for some of those pages!

So, I kinda feel like, I don't know: too much of seeing how the sausage is made, I'd guess. Still, we'll look for something more optimistic tomorrow.
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Beat today, so just a couple from a book I'm surprised I found cheap:

From 1977, All-Star Comics #69, "United We Fall!" A classic Earth-2 story, featuring Commissioner Bruce Wayne, Robin, Hourman, Starman, Dr. Mid-Nite, and Wonder Woman against the Justice Society of America! Wayne seems to be holding the JSA responsible for actions caused by the Psycho-Pirate's influence, and when he brings the law down on the team, one of his officers panics and shoots Power Girl! (With an electric "shock-gun," that actually somehow nearly kills the usually invulnerable Power Girl.) To bring in the JSA, the former Batman calls in the other heroes; and neither group will back down.

Superman shows up in the end, and being the only one everyone will listen to, calms the situation down. Along with brainwashing from the Psycho-Pirate, Wayne was also working through his grief over the death of his wife Catwoman, and was pretty disraught; but his daughter the Huntress is glad to see he's going to be all right. And this is actually the first appearance of the Huntress! Helena Wayne had appeared before, but this was the first of her in costume--except for from the same week, DC Super Stars #17, featuring her origin. I have a vague feeling I have a beat-up copy of that somewhere, too...

Since Bruce is the only one controlled, this breaks the heroes down into those loyal to the JSA (the current team) and those loyal to Batman; which could've been a notion to play with. It also could've been a chance to really show which teammates just don't like each other. ("You've had this coming for a long time, Wildcat!")
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I may have to disagree with Spock on that one:

Even though they were usually as off-model as possible, I usually enjoy a Gold Key Star Trek whenever one falls into my lap. Like today's issue, a two-fer! From 1978, Star Trek: the Psychocrystals, with the bonus story "A Bomb in Time." Per the GCD, pencils by Alberto Giolitti, but story credit unknown.

The title story is a fairly oddball one, although well with the range of that for Gold Key: investigating a planet for a mineralogical survey, the crew of the Enterprise finds telepathic crystal beings, who distrust the humans who came to pillage their younglings thinking they were mere rocks. Still, the pacifist aliens are being ravaged by a "slourda," a giant crystalline dragon; and Spock gives them the means to defend themselves: science!

"A Bomb in Time," on the other hand, could maybe have worked as a TV episode, maybe after another draft or two. A research satellite announces dual breakthroughs in "super-explosives" and time-travel, so it shouldn't come as a surprise when a scientist murders another, then tries to blackmail the Federation by threatening to destroy earth--at some point in history! This would have a snowball effect, as without earth, the Federation's entire history would unravel; but the dying scientist manages to give the crew a clue--narrowing it down to April 3, 1855; or 1955! Scotty and Kirk go back in time to stop the bomber; with Scotty using his phaser a ton in the wild west, and Kirk ending up in a Roman chariot race on a freeway in California! That's all caught on film by the director and his cameraman, even if they aren't sure how best to use that footage:

"We'll figure out something--if we have to kill twenty writers!" I do admire his can-do spirit; but the director may have a problem when Captain Kirk returns to his time, rather than finish filming his epic. Not everyone remembers Gold Key's Star Trek fondly, but it has its charms. I wish I had the next double issue, since I don't recall if I've read "The Evictors," which came backed with "the Choice," which I don't think was a highlight...
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"Departure."

Pool mentioned in an earlier strip that the Blame had phaser and photon torpedo style weapons, although why he thinks he can take six pursuing ships is anyone's guess. But with the weapons locked-out...
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What's more unbelievable, Goody Two-Shoes, or that office?

John Byrne has a bit of a perhaps-not-entirely undeserved rep as being a bit egotistical, but he used to occasionally poke fun at himself too. Like today's book! From Assistant Editor's Month in 1984, the Thing #7, "Two-Fisted Feet!" and "What Th'?!" Art by Ron Wilson in the first story, by Byrne in the second, and both edited by Ann Nocenti!

Despite the title, the opener starts with drama, as Ben visits Alicia in the hospital, and contemplates if he could retire from the super-hero biz...or if the only way out is feet first. Later, walking the streets of New York, he happens upon a police barricade, as the cops are stymied by a man claiming to be a super-villain, who then kicks Ben into a building! The villain's name...Goody Two-Shoes, and his atomic boots! The Swedish Super-villain kicks Ben up and down the city, until Ben gets mad, rallies, and scores a comeback victory.

At least, that's how Byrne and Wilson tell it in the comic. An enraged Ben Grimm heads down to the Marvel offices immediately after reading the issue, to confront "those blankety-blank idiots!" There really was a Goody Two-Shoes, but the fight would have been two panels long; and Ron and Ann convince the Thing they had to jazz the story up for the readers, and so the Thing didn't look like a bully. Byrne unfortunately interjects that sometimes Ben's life "isn't that interesting," so Ben decides to show them just how interestin' things can get, as it were.

Wilson's not bad at all, but nobody draws a grumpy, fuming Thing like Byrne. Oddly, I was thinking of a Star Wars comic from about that time, the famed Assistant Editor's Month, that I think Nocenti edited as well--nope! Eliot Brown. With Lando cosplaying as Captain Harlock! But we'll check that out another time.
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(Somewhat) a Review: Futurama Robot Santa/Series 5!

It's October, which of course means it's time for Christmas stuff; if you believe any store in America. So today we'll check out Toynami's Futurama figures Series 5, featuring the build-a-figure Robot Santa!

The Robot Santa first appeared in the episode X-Mas Story, where it's explained he was created to give toys to good boys and girls, but due to a programming error, his settings were too strict and he invariably found everyone naughty. (Mostly...) By the time Fry awakens on December 31, 2999; the Robot Santa had nearly two centuries of holiday-themed mayhem under his belt! He's a good sized figure in comparison to the others, but not especially heavy, and comes with an alternate arm with machine gun and an alternate spiky puff for the top of his hat. (I didn't want to force the regular puff, so I haven't changed them out; and I'm a little disappointed the gun isn't removable! Deadpool would've stolen it at some point...)

Since she comes with the alternate arm and puff, you could theoretically skip Amy Wong; but she's the only core Planet Express character this series in their traditional look. Bender, Fry, and Leela are in their (short lived) super-hero identities from the episode Less Than Hero: SuperKing, Captain Yesterday, and Clobberella. They're a little more static, but look nice; and the crown and cape are removable on SuperKing, leaving you with a bandit-masked Bender. (One other difference: SuperKing has a new signet ring on his hand.)

Nudar, the alien scammer from Bender's Big Score, is possibly the grossest figure I've seen since McFarlane Toys horror days. He has a weird articulation scheme but you won't want to handle him that much, I repeat, he's gross.

On the other hand, I love Calculon, the robot actor who makes multiple appearances on the show, and claims to have been all of history's great acting robots, like David Duchovny. During the episode Bender Should Not Be Allowed on Television, Calculon proclaims that he only does one take, and that Bender's audition was "so bad I think you gave me cancer!" Like his namesake, the figure doesn't have a great deal of range, but has enough to act as loudly and broadly as possible.

This was a fun batch of figures, but they've been out for some time, and I picked them up at Hastings, for $9.99 a piece! Probably at least a five buck saving per figure, but I didn't find them on their website right now! Still, you may be able to find them in stores; I know there were other stores in town that still had them, and possibly the URL and Wooden Bender figures as well.


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It's a great hook, but never as good as it was in my head.

I know I read Blue Devil #1 around the time it came out--some kids I was babysitting had a copy, and I read it after putting them to bed--and I know I've read it in the years (decades) since; but I'm not positive I ever owned a copy of it until this week. This one, fished out of the quarter (dollar) bins, has a library card taped into it, checked out from a local library in 1984 and possibly never returned...

Blue Devil starts as a special effect, albeit a practical one: an exoskeleton with horns and gimmicks, created by Dan Cassidy for a B-horror movie shoot. In typical comic book fashion, Cassidy's invention should probably change the course of industries and make him billions, but that's willfully ignored. When the movie set is invaded by a real demon, Nebiros; Cassidy has to suit up and throw down with the monster to save his friends (and his love interest!) but after saving the day, he realizes the demon's magic has trapped him in the suit! Cassidy finds himself now a honest-to-goodness Blue Devil!

(It makes me a little sad that reading this now, both the exoskeleton and an actual demon are more believable than a movie using practical special effects. The Blue Devil would be computer-generated now, and probably look it. Incidentally, I hate with the power of a thousand suns when cheap horror movies use computer-generated blood effects, rather than just throwing around some more realistic fake blood!)

There's a few rough patches in the art, and a somewhat sprawling supporting cast that in typical DC form would never be seen again when the book was cancelled. And cancelled it was, although I think it was a hit for its first year, and I can see why: there's so much potential there! I'm still positive you could get a decent TV show out of Blue Devil, if you ignore just about everything done with the character after 1986. Strike that, in 1988 there was an awesome issue of Secret Origins retelling most of this first issue, with Ty Templeton art! Guest-starring Cain of House of Mystery fame...because BD was apparently crashing there? Not the direction I would've gone, but whatever. He later had a pretty ignoble death in Starman and I never read Shadowpact, but I'm OK with that, too.

Still, from the original series, you could stand to read #5, which guest-stars Zatanna for a rematch with Nebiros; and #8, which features Flash villain the Trickster and Keith Giffen art! Both are awesome, and were reprinted in Best of DC digests--although, I wonder if subplot pages were cut from the reprints? Which may not have hurt at all, yeah.

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Death, Pain, six of one, half dozen of the other.

I've read it in a couple of different reprints, but the other day I picked up a wooden print of X-Men #94, the first issue of the regular title after the introduction of the All-New, All-Different team. I like it, although I don't know why it needs two separate Marvel logos in the bottom corners; and Count Nefaria's last word balloon is changed to "Pain!" from "Death!" For the kids, I suppose.

Also on the wall: my Nightcrawler cel from his episode on the nineties X-Men cartoon, and a Captain America shield lamp! There's an Iron Man one a little further over, and Cap and Batman posters; but my room's a mess so we'll skip that.
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"Advocate."

Let's take a moment, to pretend I had this all planned out, and it wasn't just a happy accident.
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