"Hands-Free."

Guys are icky, Kitty! Don't trust them!

Anyway, while I don't think Star Trek: Insurrection is anyone's favorite of the series (it's middle-of-the-road, but not without merits) Pool still steals a line from Riker in the last panel. Proving that if this storyline goes on long enough, I'll be able to swipe from every sci-fi space battle trope that I can remember.
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This looks like a job for the Human Bullet! Er, Bulletman. Whatever.

Bulletman! Another member of the G.I. Joe Adventure Team. Not to be confused with the Human Bullet.

Since the original figure is from the late seventies, there isn't a lot of back-story or origin for Bulletman, who may or may not have been stolen wholesale from the Fawcett comics character. I think some writers have used the Adventure Team characters to expand G.I. Joe's history, but mostly just cameos.

Sadly, Atomic Man Mike Power didn't come with a little stickered piece to represent a boxed version of himself; which I realized after about fifteen minutes of looking in my Kre-O bin.
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Only six-inches tall, but still terrifying...

I was surprised to find this issue for fifty cents, then mildly surprised it didn't have the Comics Code seal on the cover. Then extra-surprised midway through: from 1988, Sword of the Atom Special #3, written by Jan Strnad, pencils by Pat Broderick, inks by Dennis Janke.

Like the previous Sword of the Atom stories, Ray Palmer is still trapped at six-inches tall, in the Amazon jungle, with the alien Morlaidhans. Which isn't as bad as all that: Ray got the girl, Princess Laethwen, and a surprising aptitude for both sword-fighting and survival. Ray and Laethwen have made their way to the city of the Skul-Riders--OK, actually they're hawks, I think. But since the aliens, like Ray, are trapped at six-inches tall, they can do that; but this batch don't have Laethwen's yellow skin. I'm not sure why, but whatever. Ray's there to try and investigate the scientific equipment of the former king, Torbul. (The aliens, yellow or no, had been more advanced but fallen into savagery; in fact, some may have been there as a penal colony.)

Friendly local doctor Ylaan isn't sure what to make of Torbul's work, but a booby-trap sets off a deadly plague. The current tyrant king comes down with it, and while Laethwen tries to help a local farm couple who's son comes down with it, Ylaan tries to warn Ray to flee. They almost escape, except for the Skul-Riders; and Ray and Laethwen end up in the dungeon. The tyrant dies, and while most of the plague victims are thrown into a pit, a funeral pyre was planned for him. Ray and Laethwen try to make their escape during the funeral, but the tyrant rises from his pyre, still on fire! And that farm couple, who's son died? He comes back.

I was absolutely not expecting that! The zombie son kills his mother, before the father has to put him down. Meanwhile, a dying Ylaan explains the plague didn't kill it's victims, but between the fever and the pit-burial, they would have nothing but hate. Kill-crazed, the dead rise, and Ray and Laethwen's only hope is to fight their way to a Skul trapped in a burning rookery and escape.

The next day, the zombies are again dead, their bodies burned out after their brief "re-life." The bodies would be burned this time. As Ray notes in a journal, wondering if he was responsible for this or if it would've happened regardless, he and Laethwen would spend a couple weeks alone in the jungle, to make sure they weren't infected before going home. But he was in no particular hurry.

It feels a little overwritten in spots, but a surprisingly dark story here. Sadly, Laethwen would be given short shrift, fridged at the start of Power of the Atom. I thought that was a misstep then, but they had to get Ray back to America.



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"Orrgo or Go Home" might've been a better title...

I went back and added "Marvel Adventures" as a tag, because until I saw classic Marvel monster Orrgo and Ben Grimm judging a beauty contest that gets crashed by A.I.M., I didn't realize I wanted that in a comic. From 2008, Marvel Adventures Fantastic Four #35, "Go One Way Orrgo Another" Written by Paul Tobin, pencils by David Nakayama, inks by Cory Hamscher. Reprinted in digest form as New York's Finest, although sadly without the Chris Giarusso Mini Marvels strips!

The Thing is able to single-handedly stop the alien invasion of Orrgo, but Ben's feelings are a little hurt when Johnny says he caught the tailend of that fight: it was a big, hideous orange rock monster, not unlike Ben. Still, back at the Baxter Building, the guys are distracted when they get an invite to judge a beauty contest, but Orrgo turns out to be another guest judge! Orrgo suggests Ben chalk up trying to enslave earth as his "reckless youth," but Ben points out that was last week. A.I.M. is there since they used the contest as cover to sneak in some (apparently super-hot) scientists, but they don't realize model Chili Storm already has their number. "Guys talk around pretty girls, and I'm the prettiest." The ruckus starts when A.I.M. decides to try and steal Orrgo's technology, not realizing all his powers were mental, not tech. Johnny is responsible for maybe 60% of that ruckus...

Marvel ran with these low-continuity, ostensibly for kids books for some time; starting with vaguely manga-influenced re-tellings of classic tales before branching into more original stories. And the more offbeat they got, generally the better they were: go back through the tag for classics like "Doom, Where's My Car?" or "A Not-So-Beautiful Mind" or "Would You Like Living Darkness with That?"

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80-Page Thursdays: Nightwing 80-Page Giant #1!

Sometimes, a character can be a hero in one type of story, and a villain in another. Take the example of a young policewoman from a family legacy of cops; who becomes a media darling in a city rife with corruption. At a photo op with three generations of her family, someone uses thirty pounds of C-4 to wipe her family out. Somehow, she survives, horrifyingly burnt, her tear ducts burnt out, even her mouth fused shut by the heat. After being found wandering the streets, she's taken to the burn ward, but then disappears. Maybe to a Tibetan monastery, maybe to a voodoo priest in Haiti...maybe to a cadre of mad scientists who give her a new, experimental drug called Venom. She would return to her city, to get murderous vengeance on those who wronged her and her family; if this was a Punisher comic, she'd be a super-hero, and Frank would have her back.

Unfortunately for her, it's a Nightwing comic. From 2000, Nightwing 80-Page Giant, "Hella!" Written by Chuck Dixon, art by Manuel Gutierrez, Mike Collins, and more. This issue falls during the stretch when Dick Grayson was working as a cop for a day job, and dating Barbara (Oracle now) Gordon. (I know there was a stretch of old Captain America issues where he was a cop, and I remember thinking it might be a good way to get info and be on the scene, but tough to get away from to change outfits!) Nightwing gets on the case when the mysterious Hella throws the former police commissioner--a one-eyed double amputee--into a wheelchair and out onto the interstate. He works the case, and finds more than a few police officers involved.

Hella goes after police chief Redhorn, who had been on the run since he thought the crime boss Blockbuster had put a hit out on him. Nightwing intervenes in their shootout, but Hella is presumed killed in a fiery boat explosion. But that hasn't stopped her before...

Unlike even most of these DC 80-pagers from around this time, this one works a lot into the book's regular continuity. Which makes it read like a longer, regular issue, but nothing wrong with that. I was mildly curious if Hella returned, since sometimes when Batman villains get stopped from their initial goals, they turn their attention to killing Batman. Well, maybe we'll see sometime.
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"Big Game."

Kraven the Hunter vs. Rocket Raccoon. That one's for free, Marvel.

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The double-edged sword of loyalty.

A very old memory: switching channels (by knob!) on the TV as a young child, and coming across a war movie--presumably WWII, but the film stock looked more "modern." (That would be to say, mid-seventies.) It was a tank battle, that seemed to be a lot more like tanks driving around. Maybe everyone was out of shells? Still no idea what that movie was. But I remember thinking those tanks should be doing more there, that they should be unstoppable. And they aren't. Not in the slightest. From 2001, War Story: Johann's Tiger, written by Garth Ennis, pencils by Chris Weston, inks by Gary Erskine. (Two Chris Weston issues this week!)

Near the end of the war, German tank commander Johann Kleist will do whatever it takes to save his crew, but the Russians are coming in waves. Johann decides they will find Americans and surrender (the Russians would almost certainly kill them, or throw into a gulag to die slowly) but not him: the memories of his atrocities are too much, and he plans on getting himself killed as soon as his crew is safe. After an encounter with German "fepos," field police, the crew is nearly hung for desertion, but Johann saves them. Leading the crew to make a plan themselves: later, when surrounded by Russian tanks, they toss Johann out, saving him as they die. Left for dead, Johann lurches through the woods, looking to die, and instead finds Americans, who take him prisoner; dooming him to live with himself.

Man, how did I miss these when they came out? Have to keep an eye out for the other three now...


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I was considering saving this for the end of the year:

Sometimes, a good plot engine will eventually have to be replaced: eventually, Gilligan has to get off the island; or the viewers will get sick of watching characters continually get nowhere. Hunting someone for revenge? Pretty good plot driver, especially for a Genetic Infantryman accompanied by his three biochipped comrades on the battleground planet Nu-Earth. This new plot, though...from Rogue Trooper #41, "The Hit, conclusion" Written by Steve Dillon, art by Chris Weston.

The current premise was, aliens approached Rogue with the opportunity to possibly end the war, by assassinating certain key figures. Out of a dozen, Rogue's finished eleven, but is confronted by Ingrid, who had been tailing him for some time: she had discovered the aliens' intent was less than altruistic, and they were in fact manipulating not just Rogue, but just about everyone, to destroy themselves and clear the aliens' invasion.

The last target had been collaborating with the aliens, so Rogue gives him a one-way ticket to Nu-Earth. But Rogue's tired of war, and since he thinks the aliens will be coming after him, he leaves his friends Helm, Gunnar, and Bagman with a friendly scientist, who puts their biochips in new, infant bodies. This would be the conclusion of the current plot for Rogue Trooper, and most of his appearances afterwards were either flashbacks or an entirely new continuity.

Also this issue: a couple chapters of Ace Trucking Co. They're horrible. Any British fans remember them fondly? Were there extra pages in 2000 AD that needed filling? I know the weekly has been all killer, no filler for the last few years...
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Spinosaur: Myth or Hoax? (From the J.Jonah Jameson school of headline writing.)

On Twitter yesterday, comics legend Walt Simonson mentioned his pick for Thursday night's TV viewing: the newest episode of PBS's Nova, "Bigger Than T.Rex" "Meet Spinosaurus—the lost killer of the Cretaceous and the world's largest carnivorous dinosaur ever." Neat, but that's weird...I seem to recall reading something of that nature recently. But what?

Oh, yeah: from 1991, Doctor Strange, Sorcerer Supreme #36, "Footnote to Infinity" Written by Roy and Dann Thomas, pencils by Dan Lawlis, inks by Andrew Pepoy. Clea throws a surprise party for the good Doctor (with guest-stars the Scarlet Witch, Doctor Druid, and Strange's kid brother Baron Blood!) to celebrate him helping save the universe from Thanos in Infinity Gauntlet! Most of the guests don't recall being wiped out of existence then brought back, but still, any excuse for a party.

Unfortunately, as often happens, the party is broken up early, by the sudden appearance of Pip the Troll and Gamora, who have come to get Dr. Strange, since together they may have to kill Adam Warlock! He had the godlike powers of the Infinity Gauntlet, and wasn't above abusing that power a bit: juggling planets, and pranking earth scientists by retroactively creating the "Great Annihilator" near the center of the Milky Way, and gigantic fake dinosaur bones "seeded" in Wyoming! Warlock had been himself created by earth scientists, so he may have been working out some issues there.

Strange doesn't think that's much to be worried about, but Warlock is just getting warmed up: next, he will "send out emanations" to wipe out ambition and competitiveness, making every living soul "good." Strange is appalled, since at the very least this would wipe out the choice to be good, as in free will; and challenges Warlock. Luckily, Strange brought his A-list magic items, like the Orb of Agamotto and the Wand of Watoomb; but even with those it's a losing battle, as Warlock turns five of the six Infinity Gems on Strange: Time, Space, Reality, Mind, and Power. Strange realizes the sixth gem, the one that spent years with Warlock, is key: Soul. Working through it, Strange shows Warlock a vision of the future, reducing all life to apathetic, pointless shells. Warlock realizes his error, and recants, and asks Pip and Gamora to be his "moral compass."

Before Strange is returned home, he's visited by a pissed-off Eternity, who has no intention of letting Warlock keep the Gauntlet. How could he take it from him? In trial...but that would come later. Strange returns to his party, none the worse for wear.

So, is spinosaur nothing more than a prank from god? Yeah, I'm gonna go out on a limb and guess "no."

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80-Page Thursdays: Justice Society of America 80-Page Giant 2011!

We've checked out at least two of these already, so why not this one? Justice Society of America 80-Page Giant 2011, with stories by Adam Beechen, Steve Niles, Ivan Brandon, and more; and art by Nic Klein, Howard Chaykin, Scott Hampton, and more.

No connecting thread this issue, as various stories catch up with the now-sprawling cast of the Justice Society. Current Spectre Crispus Allen delivers justice to some corpse thieves; Tomcat, Dr. Mid-Nite and Judomaster have an adventure in Japan; and Dr. Fate helps Alan Scott connect to his newfound magic powers. Citizen Steel saves a girl but still loses her, in a story that seemed kind of similar to one of J.Michael Straczynski's Rising Stars books. Then a Jesse Quick story, and a creepy Alan Scott story where he lets a band of criminals play out their "perfect score...in their heads."

The last story, though, "Duty, Honor, Country" delivers: in 1942, a young soldier is nearly killed, badly burned when Bundists blow up his barracks. Saved by the Justice Society, he falls into a deep pit of self-loathing, feeling like he contributed nothing to the war or to America. Eventually, though, his Purple Heart gets him a job with the Department of Justice as "a courier of sorts." More like process server, during the McCarthy hearings. Tasked with serving a warrant to the Justice Society, ordering them to unmask, he gets caught up in a battle with Brain Wave, and manages to repay the debt he owed the heroes. That one's not bad.

Of course, there's also a two-page Flashpoint ad this issue, so all of this is academic as best.

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"Favor."

I'd read something in the previews about Star-Lord and Kitty, if not dating, at least on the phone with each other regularly. I don't know if I've actually read any of the comics with them on the same planet yet, though: he just missed seeing her in a recent issue. He seems a little old for her, but Kitty seems more mature...
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As of right this second, Arrow is the only super-hero show I'm caught up on. (I'm watching an episode of Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. right now, but I'm also really missing my VCR. Watching TV on the computer seems like playing solitaire: kind of a waste, when the machine could be doing other things.) And yet even though I think he's been in the credits all this season, I'm always surprised to see Malcolm Merlin. I always expect him to be killed off, because I can't see actor John Barrowman costing out forever. But it's also surprising that I have comics with Merlin, since I never thought he was hugely popular before. And a lot of Merlin's plotline in Arrow turns up in today's issue: on the outs with the League of Assassins, hunted by the daughter of R'as al Ghul, doing a little freelance work. Only the daughter is Talia, and the hero this issue is Black Lightning!

From 1977, Black Lightning #2, "Merlyn Means Murder" Created and written by Tony Isabella, art by Trevor Von Eeden and Frank Springer. BL's snitch in the crime syndicate the 100 has turned on the rookie hero, who does fine against them but not so well against the archer Merlyn. Merlyn's no longer with the League of Assassins, after failing to murder Batman, so Talia is hunting him down. (Which she probably also would've done if he had somehow murdered Batman...)

Merlyn explains to the former snitch that he's no longer needed in the 100, then offers Black Lightning a sporting five-minute head start. Black Lightning instead opts to punch Merlyn in the face right there, then goes after his former snitch; as an unseen gunman (namely, Talia) takes out the 100's men. A stray bullet wounds Merlyn, who accidentally kills the snitch. Lightning stops Talia from finishing Merlyn off, and "the magician" escapes with his jetpack. (?!) But Talia explains she shot the gunmen with an amnesia-inducing drug created by her dad; and Black Lightning seemingly realizes for the first time that being a superhero may be a bit more violent lifestyle than he had planned on.

Seriously, it's like it just occurred to him that punching people in the face and shocking criminals with an electrical-proto-taser thing may be "violent."
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Behind schedule and facing too much overtime this week, so we'll just take a quick look at a recent quarterbook: from 1972, "Two Into One Won't Go!" Written by Steve Englehart, art by Sal Buscema, inks by Frank McLaughlin. The battle on the cover, between Captain America and his replacement from the 1950's at the Torch of Friendship monument in Miami, does occur; except the Falcon is never confused over which Cap is which: the replacement Cap's uniform and shield both fall apart, not unlike the replacement Cap.

The ill-fated Jack Monroe appears as Bucky here, with an unfortunate streak of racism against the Falcon. I don't know if that was ever addressed again, and as Nomad Jack was Cap's sidekick when I first started reading Captain America regularly. For his part, the Falcon does a great job of backing up Cap, with Sharon Carter.

Still, I'm most thrilled about finding this issue as a bit of comparison to the classic What If? #44--one of my favorite comics ever--which also featured the replacement Cap and Bucky, and Sal Buscema art!
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