"The End" Week: Conan #11!

We looked at Conan last issues before, and I had thought we'd blogged Wonder Woman/Conan; but today we've got a Conan finale with amazons! From 1996, Conan #11, "Amazons!" Written by Larry Hama, art by Enrique Alcatena, cover by Bret Blevins. (While I like both, there's a world of difference between those two artists! Blevins did a few covers for this run, as well as interiors for #7.)

Hmm. I know I have the previous issue, but I only recall the cover! Captured by an Amazon tribe, the Queen digs Conan, but per Amazon law men have to die. Queen Bryn tries to let Conan sneak out the back, but is double-crossed by a hardline contingent, who chase after him. (The queen is traditionally beautiful, Mag and the hardliners...less so.) Conan runs into a small army of brigands coming the other way, and tries to warn the Amazons, who aren't about to listen to a man, and subsequently get mostly slaughtered. Conan knows he should get out while he can, but can't leave the last one, Danae, to die; and leaps into the fray, driving off the brigands for the moment. Bryn is facing a death sentence, but Conan and Danae arrive in time to save her, since the Amazons will need all the swords they can muster.

Brigand leader and pile of ugly,"Malekhar the Morose," follows one of his men, who lies about killing several Amazons and Conan, into a barrage of Amazon arrows. Still, he's savvy enough to realize this is how the Cimmerians fight: force a superior force into a wall of spears, then let your berserkers hack up any resistance. Malekhar tries to counter by rushing the high ground--using his hapless scout as a shield--and try to take out the Amazons' queen. Ballsy move, but it only gets him far enough that Conan has to kill his ass. Still, while now some of the Amazons accept Conan at his word, the law says he can't be allowed to leave, and Danae warns him of just that. As Conan rides out, Mag puts an arrow in his back!

Luckily, Danae gave Conan a pretty nice shield...and a good story, for when he would be king. There's no letters page or announcement that this was the final issue; but next would be the limited series Stalker of the Woods; which looks a bit closer to classic Marvel Conan than this brief series had gone.
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"The End" Week: Power Pack #62!

Traditionally, it used to be the last issue of a title might wrap up their plotlines; but not always. Based on Priest's first issue of Deadpool, I thought Ka-Zar might've got cancelled out from under him while the hero was still blind and deaf; but that might not quite have been the case. Well, at least he wasn't left a horse. From 1991, Power Pack #62, "Lo, There Shall Be an Ending." Written by Michael Higgins, pencils by Steve Buccellato, inks by Don Hudson.

Alex Power isn't a full-on horse, but he been transformed into a horse-like Kymellian; the alien race that originally gave the Power children their powers. The family had come to Reed Richard's for help, and their attempt to change Alex back was interrupted by the Red Ghost and his Super-Apes, who have knocked out the Pack, the Fantastic Four, but seemingly not his dad. As his dad fights the apes, Alex manages to return to solid (horse) form at least; but the Ghost defeats 'dad,' really a shape-shifting Elan. (From waaaay back in Fantastic Four #24; the third green shape-shifting alien the FF would face in like 13 issues. The FF ostensibly guest-star here, but while the Invisible Woman shows at least a bit of reasonable concern at little kids fighting super-villains, the Torch and the Thing may have ducked out for a drink midway through.) Red Ghost wanted the brain of Friday, the Powers' "smartship," and nearly bluffs his way out taking their addled mother hostage; but Franklin Richards checks: the real Mrs. Powers was with their friend, Raymond--the original Human Torch's sidekick Toro, although he splits before anyone sorts that out--and the Ghost was using the shape-changing ape. Franklin must be responsible for interfering with the Ghost's powers, which gives Mr. Powers the opportunity to punch him out.

Reed has to tell Alex he can't make him human again--look, Reed had never had a lotta success on that front, had he? Seeing the then-human Ben Grimm with She-Thing Ms. Marvel makes him feel a little better, but he does have to let his girlfriend move on with her life. Intent on curing their mom after mental tampering, the Pack would guest in Excalibur, and another issue would be burned off in Marvel Super-Heroes, but with no luck they decide to head into space, out to Kymellia, to see if they can find help there. That would be it for Power Pack for several years, and I'm not sure their mom was ever herself again.

I do believe Power Pack got spoofed in an issue of What The--?!--the first issue, as it turns out!--that depicted the Power parents as blind; utterly clueless to their kids' super-powered activities. And I think they were for a good chunk of the run; but here the dad seems like a too-active participant, while the mom is a pliable victim in a nightgown clinging to him. That's...weird and icky. Am I reading too much into this, or was this going to turn into Power Dad if it had continued?
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"The End" Week: Human Torch #12!

How many issues does a series have to have, to be considered a proper series with a last issue and everything? Well, I guess we've looked at series that died younger than this, anyway. From 2004, Human Torch #12, "Here There Be Dragons!" Written by Karl Kesel, pencils by Paco Medina, inks by Juan Vlasco.

This series seemed to fall into a trap another book we might see later did: it began with a relatively good get of an artist, in this case Skottie Young. By issue #8 or so, either the sales had dipped to the point he couldn't stay on, or he got another gig or something, and was down to just doing the covers. Kesel's the interesting one here though, since he had done some Fantastic Four work I liked, and this issue guest-stars the ever-lovin' blue-eyed Thing! He's the idol of millions, particularly at his alma mater State U. Still, Johnny might be the school's most famous dropout, so that's something, right? Right?

Johnny is wondering why he bothered to go to the State/Empire game, when Ben reminds him: "Cheer. Leaders." Ben is agitated when someone runs onto the field during the game, but they were being chased by Dragon Man! Ben and Johnny drive the artificial creature off, and rescue his creator, Professor Gilbert. Gilbert had never been able to control Dragon Man, but now it seemed to be becoming dangerous. More dangerous. I'm sure that thing set a ton of fires. Ben feels like it was alive, not something that could be "de-activated," and Johnny suggests a compromise: give Dragon Man to him. Johnny seems to argue it's not an animal, but also like he's going to keep it like a pet, and I don't know if you can have it both ways. Well, it's not like the poor dope finished college, which is what's been bugging him. Ben charitably doesn't bag on him for it: Sue didn't either (since she was basically raising Johnny--and he turned out like that?) and while it seems like Ben "fit in" to university life, he suggests that's only because they made a space for him as a star athlete. His degree was just for him to show he was more than the football field.

After Dragon Man knocks Ben out of the building, which Johnny has to admit is pretty funny; Professor Gilbert attacks with a new android, Zzord. But 'Gilbert' was really a Skrull, although his scheme seems a little iffy: kidnap Gilbert, frame Dragon Man as a threat, build an android...profit? Maybe he had to steal the real professor's research. Johnny knocks out the Skrull and finds Gilbert trapped at his house. Dragon Man had sniffed out the fake, but had no problem with his creator, who understood that when caged the android could only think of escaping, and while free was harmless and friendly. Johnny sees that as a metaphor for college, and he may have something there. In the end, the dean offers Johnny an honorary diploma, but he declines, suggesting he may try again someday.
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"The End" Week: Firestorm #5!

What's better than a completely unexpected cancellation? How about getting a ton of subplots going in your last issue! From 1978, Firestorm #5, "Again: Multiplex!" Written and co-created by Gerry Conway, penciled and co-created by Allen Milgrom, inks by Bob McLeod.

This was another cancellation in the DC Implosion, but don't worry, Firestorm would be back, first as a back-up feature in Flash. The next issue blurb teases the coming of Typhoon, so I thought what would've been Firestorm #6 had just been parted out starting in Flash #294 , but no! The Firestorm #6 that appeared in Cancelled Comic Cavalcade #1 was completely different; and while Typhoon ended up looking the same, he had a completely different origin! The original #6 may also have gone more into a old-fashioned mob family, the Shines. The father and son had nicknames like "Shoe" and "Spit," so I wouldn't miss them.

That was just one of the multiple plot threads going here: the Hyena gives Firestorm a surprisingly hard time, and Multiplex returns as well. A future villain, Cliff Carmichael, realizes Firestorm goes to his school, and doesn't like him: that should narrow it down to several hundred suspects. Ronnie Raymond is starting to feel he's in over his head, and an offhand remark from a secretary at his dad's work makes him wonder if he hadn't been lied to all his life. He's getting off easy compared to Professor Stein, who still doesn't recall turning into Firestorm after they split, and has hired a private detective to follow him and see what he does during his blackouts. The P.I. suspects the answer may be "drink abusively," but realizes Stein may be drinking to avoid his legitimate fears, right when Stein falls under a table and disappears. Ronnie then has to face Multiplex with a drunk Stein in his head; and while he pulls off a win, he also leaves his girlfriend wondering what happened to him, as Hyena and Multiplex plot a team-up...
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"The End" Week: Dazzler #42!

Alison Blaire spends a good chunk of her last issue a prisoner; but I suppose there's every chance she spent long stretches of her book captured, a hostage, or unconscious. From 1986, Dazzler #42, "Curtain!" Written by Archie Goodwin, pencils by Paul Chadwick, inks by Romeo Tanghal, cover by Chadwick and Bill Sienkiewicz.

Ali's friends Beast, bounty hunter O.Z. Chase, and his cranky ex-smoker dog Cerberus have been following her trail back to Camp Silence; former home of a drug cult on the verge of gaining super-powers. They're attacked by a couple who remind me of the Dreadnoks, except maybe less entertaining or effective; while Dazzler is the unwilling guest of the cult leader Silence, who has Dazzler's mom to leverage into using her light--and her life--to finish giving the cultists powers. Silence's husband Dust had faced Dazzler before, taking over the body of her father; and Dazzler had left Dust to die as she raced to get to her mom.

Silence wasn't just her name, it was also an imperative: her own body only held together by will, she couldn't stand noise. Dazzler is forced to absorb noise and give her light to the cultists, one of whom recognizes her from seeing her open for a band. Oddly, the young man, Arthur Allan Smith, seemed to pick up a minor superpower after her show: he could make himself unnoticed and hide in plain sight. He was the child of a cult member, which gave him the potential for powers activated by Dazzler, but had a troubled life: he idolized her to a worrying degree, and worried even if Alison got out of this one, mutants were still feared and hated. What to do...

At what could be her final concert, Dazzler channels all her light into her mom in an attempt to save her. Beast, O.Z. and Cerberus fight the powered cultists; and Dazzler pulls out a trick she may not have used before or since: releasing sound contained within her as sound, not light. Silence, unable to hold herself together, dies; but Dust then reveals himself, having saved himself by taking over the body of one of his cultists. Now, he could take Alison's mom; or Dazzler herself. Or, he could if Dazzler's light didn't cleanse him. Dust makes a final grab at her, but Smith opens fire; later telling the police "I killed her to save her!"

The whole issue seemed to be building to deranged fan kills female star; but Smith had shot Dust, and took the rap for her 'death' to give her a chance at a clean start. (Prison didn't bother him, and he knows with his powers he could leave whenever.) Dazzler thanks them all, and Beast suggests maybe X-Factor...? Nah, I think she would next appear in Uncanny X-Men #214 and begin her stint there. Beast may or may not have been smitten with her, but it did not appear to work out.
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"The End" Week: Chase #1,000,000!

Six years back, we checked out a favorite, Creeper #1,000,000; in June we saw the previous issue of this series: from 1998, Chase #1,000,000, "Don't Believe It!" Written by D. Curtis Johnson, pencils by J. H. Williams III, inks by Mick Gray.

In the 853rd century, people can wear and trade "totemic power icons," emblems that give temporary super-powers. The way they're described, they're mostly for play; but there's a black market for unregulated, illegal icons. A secret organization polices those unauthorized powers: the DEO, descended (and perhaps bastardized) from the Department of Extranormal Operations of the present. It's not immediately clear if they have more than three field agents, or if they'd need more: three women in Judge Dredd-like uniforms, designated Lead, Snare, and Chase. They're bringing in an illegal icon dealer, who is killed when he tries to escape with a defective Ambush Bug app.

Working the case, Chase begins to have questions, particularly when visiting the home of a convicted criminal, now living on Mars in a home without net access: she reacts like he had been deprived of a basic human right. Lead and Snare come down hard on the old man, but the icons had been from his daughter, who claims she didn't know they would be resold. Although she could surrender, the daughter fights her way out, since she figured the DEO's computer bosses would want someone to go down for the crime. Suspecting the same, Chase lets her escape; and is called on the carpet before her superior, Skull. She assumes it's to be fired, but Skull has been where she was, and together they begin to plan for the future...

Man, J.H.Williams draws the living bejeezus out of this; to the point that it's impossible to imagine anyone taking this book after him.

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"The End" week begins! Probably.

It's the last week of the year again, traditionally when I do "the end" week and look at last issues I've presumably stocked up over the course of the year. Somewhat surprisingly, I only have three posts scheduled as I write this! I usually burn through more than that the first day! So, let's start with a book I know I read at least a couple of when it was running: from 1982, Buck Rogers in the 25th Century #16, "The Sellers of Souls" Written by B.S. Watson, art by Mike Roy.

The Gil Gerard/Erin Gray movie came out in 1979, and I feel like I must've seen it, in bits and pieces, about 40 times as a kid. I rarely if ever saw the TV show, however--maybe it was on past my bedtime or something? It was a sci-fi show when beggars could not be choosers so I probably would've watched it, even if it seems like it wouldn't have been great even then. The same can hardly be said for the Gold Key/Whitman comic, however: compared to even the most boilerplate Marvel or DC books, they usually came up short. This one didn't even have a painted cover, which was often a selling point for the company.

This issue, on deep space patrol, Buck gets captured by slavers. He's put to work by them as a pilot, but manages to work with the slaves to turn the tables. If this was from any other company, I'd suspect the former slaves would abuse their former masters just as badly as they had been treated; but this one doesn't go that far. The aliens are all cartoony, but more alien looking than was usually seen on the show; you have to give them that. I did kinda like the bit where Buck asks his captors why he's been kidnapped, and they're like, la-de-dah, get Mr. Fancy.

That one wasn't so great, so let's check out another sci-fi TV show tie-in comic, that surprisingly was cancelled even earlier! From 1995, Babylon 5 #11, "The Psi Corps and You" Written by Tim Dehaas, art by John Ridgway. I may have caught an early episode by chance when the series began, but I didn't start watching Babylon 5 regularly until the third season, and I wouldn't see the fifth for years. So how I came up with this comic, I have no idea; but I noticed it was the last issue a while back. DC was probably hoping this would be their next Star Trek, but no such luck. They would try a three-issue mini-series after this, In Valen's Name, and then that would be that.

Without any knowledge of the show, this issue would be a little inaccessible, since it's written as an informational presentation from your friends at Psi Corps. It's designed to come across as friendly, humanizing, and empowering; three things the unabashedly fascist Corps definitely wasn't. Imagine if, say, Marvel's mutants decided they would police themselves, make themselves useful to the normos, and quietly bide their time...waiting. The insidiousness of the Corps doesn't quite come across here, but in concert with the show it works a little better.

Since we've already looked at two sci-fi tie-in books, why not take a look at a better comic from a better show, why not? I certainly miss both the most: from 2016, Bongo Presents Futurama Comics #81, "A Touch of Medieval!" Written by Ian Boothby, pencils by James Lloyd, inks by Andrew Pepoy. Not unlike Simpsons Comics, this wasn't a book I read every month, yet one I almost always enjoyed when I randomly picked one up.

Professor Farnsworth's newest invention is the reversal ray, and Bender immediately realizes that has to go. On the way to the dump, Fry stops by the cryogenic lab where he had been frozen, trips, turns the tube into a time machine, and ends up in ye olde times. In the vein of the Wizard of Oz, everyone is there; with Sir Bender, King Farnsworth, and filthy peasant Leela.

Easily the best of the three books here! Without any announcement inside, this was the final issue before going digital only...which may or may not have happened, I'm not sure. Man, I miss that show; why isn't it on Disney+ yet?





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"(Insert Nutcracker based crotch pun here.)"

Since Marvel Legends gave us two Punishers this year and neither one was in a Santa suit, this is probably the most Christmas-themed figure I'm going to have for a while: from Jazwares, the Wal-Mart exclusive Fortnite Crackshot! It may not be available online there, you may have to venture into a store and see if any remain on the pegs. I haven't bought a ton of them yet, but I think Jazwares has been doing a pretty good job on these this year.

And because a longer post is obviously a better post, we've got the usual pile of Christmas reruns! Hope you all got more toys than me!


It's not a perennial holiday classic...yet; but I rerun this one every Christmas: "How Deadpool saved assisted didn't wreck had Christmas." See how our production standards have barely incrementally changed in like eleven years! Although, Die Hard wasn't universally accepted as a Christmas movie back then, as it is today.

As usual, click to unwrap, er, enlarge. Not sure of the setup? The first strip's waaaay back here.





What the heck, you've been good this year...he says, based on nothing; so let's have another holiday re-run: "Jingle Bells, Blame Mattel..."


And for good measure, here's the 2015 Christmas strip, "Do They Know It's X-Mas Time at All?" Pool and Kurt had been in space for about 21 months at that point, so yeah, that plotline went on.

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When I die, be sure to hang my shirt out like a flag...

It worked for Superman, and it works for the Punisher in today's book! From 1997, Punisher #17, "Dead Man Walking" Written by John Ostrander, pencils by Tom Lyle, inks by Robert Jones.

The Punisher is dead, killed in Oklahoma in a battle with Simon Trask. So why is a quirky team of U.S. Marshals getting saddled with the job of hunting Frank down? Because the military and the intelligence community don't believe it, and you don't either. The marshals interview Ben Urich, Daredevil, Spider-Man, and S.H.I.E.L.D. agent Kymberly Taylor; who mostly tell us things we already know. Taylor seemed both convinced of Frank's death and a little soft on him; a fact noted by her superior, the Black Widow, who is still pissed at Frank for killing Nick Fury. (This was also post-Onslaught, so several heroes were currently believed dead.)

Frank is of course alive, living in an abandoned church in Alphabet City--again, post-Onslaught, there was still a wrecked Sentinel head in the building. I can only assume Frank had to drive out the vampires and whatnot, but he takes a job from a little boy, whose mom was getting beat by her new boyfriend. (It might help convince Frank that the mom's name was Maria, same as his late wife) Frank delivers a relatively light beating--for him, I mean--but tells the abuser the next time, it's a broken arm, then the kneecaps, then dead. Ugh, that seems like a lot of trips, just kill him now. Meanwhile, the marshals visit the hospitalized Thermal, a member of Trask's forces, until he started shooting them for disobedience. She had been shot, but someone got her out of the explosion: Frank.

At the church, Maria and her son bring a hot dish for...they don't know who, since Frank says he can't remember who he is.

Based on the cover, I thought this was the last issue of this series, but instead it's setting up a new status quo...and would be cancelled next issue! This would be the second-to-last issue, before the much-maligned "angel" Punisher mini-series.


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