Time for yet another comic that I probably should've been buying when it came out, and that probably should've run for years longer than it did...so, if my blog was a drinking game that would probably be two? I could probably make a bingo card of "nonsense I say regularly" but I leave that to you! From 2005, Solo #6: art by Jordi Bernet, featuring "Back Bone" Written by John Arcudi; "Drive" Written by Joe Kelly; "Old Dog/New Trick" Written by Andrew Helfer; "The Stalking Horse" Written by Chuck Dixon; and "Poison" Written by Brian Azzarello.

Dummy, I just had to search the blog; since I was confusing Bernet with Goron Parlov, another artist with a penchant for tough guys and gorgeous dames that are probably headed for trouble. Previously we've seen a bunch of Jonah Hex issues from Bernet, although I remember seeing little ads for his Torpedo 1936 back in the 80's and they were still striking as hell. Most of the stories here are sexier and meaner than the average DC book of the time--mean in a way a mainstream book couldn't be. Some readers, myself included, might not be entirely comfortable with Batman just outright clocking Poison Ivy. Twice!

I got this one, Darwyn Cooke's, and Teddy Kristiansen's; at the toy show recently: we glanced at the Howard Chaykin issue some time back, but the Sergio Aragonés one is the one to dig up, "I Killed Marty Feldman" alone is worth it. I should keep an eye out for the Damion Scott and Mike Allred ones, and I'm not positive I've got the Scott Hampton, either...I was also going to say it was a crime Walt Simonson didn't get to do an issue; but apparently he turned what he worked on for it into the Judas Coin graphic novel.

I was hoping that link was going to have some reason why the series didn't continue; although I suspect giving artists free rein also meant issues got done when they damn well felt like it. Looks like Solo ran more or less bimonthly, though; which I wouldn't have bet on. Still, Anthology series just seem to be DOA in America; even high-end ones like this. Of course, I say something like that, then remember like three I've bought recently off the top of my head! (Creepshow, the Kickstarter Meanwhile...A Comic Shop Anthology, and a couple Dollar Store Star Wars Adventures.) Read more!

I know a lot of these we come in midstream, but this time...

Plus, everything you know, changes forever! Really! From 2005, Plastic Man #18, "The Edwina Crisis, prologue, part four" Story and art by Kyle Baker.

Previously, emo teen supervillain Ray El Rey had shattered the frozen Plastic Man into pieces, and accidentally disentegrated Plas's love interest Nancy and his adopted daughter Edwina! Ray mourns them, but is then accidentally killed by Woozy Winks spilling a drink on him and shorting his electrical powers, blowing his head off. And that's like three pages in! Woozy then accidentally--you know, just assume anything Woozy has ever done has been an accident--thaws some of the Plastic-pieces, which form tiny Plastic Men! Who themselves mourn Nancy and Edwina, as they try to pull themselves together, which doesn't work the way you would usually figure it would.

Elsewhere, a thug attacks a little girl in a dark alley, but is then himself accosted, by the new Spectre, and Teen Spectre! Yeah, it's Nancy and Edwina. They subject the thug to a variety of punishments, arguing about whether they should be ironic, or cool. Plastic Man bags up Nancy and Edwina's ashes, so he can take them to the monk that previously brought Woozy back to life. (Plas dishes, it was the same monastary Green Arrow went to after he killed a guy!) But the monk is dead, killed by a member of the League of Assassins! Well, throw the monk's ashes in the bag...They crash the LoA headquarters: literally crash, as Plas got frozen and shattered and made into tiny-Plastic Men again. The tiny Plastic Men are getting hacked up right and left, before the arrival of...Ra's Al Ghul! A dramatic reveal, since he had supposedly been dead...like he was about every time he appeared, sure, but still.

There were only two more issues of this series to go, and man, if you thought Baker was taking the piss out of DC before... Read more!

Speedball is one of like half a dozen characters at Marvel alone, that is basically teenage-era Spider-Man: off the top of my head, Nova, Darkhawk, Gravity, Ms. Marvel, probably the other Nova, arguably Thunderstrike even though he wasn't a teen, and, um, oh yeah, multiple other versions of Spidey. But it's weird to see Speedball against a Spidey foe and a DD one, even if it was in the middle of his 'dark' phase. From 2007, Thunderbolts: Desperate Measures #1, written by Paul Jenkins, art by Steve Lieber.

This was a one-shot concurrent with Warren Ellis's Thunderbolts run, as Norman Osborn gives a harsh post-mission critique to 'Penance,' and highlights a little toy of his: a device that could tap into any security camera in the world. He's showing off as he browbeats Robbie, who like most teenagers doesn't want to be there or involved in that conversation. Norman is starting to get irritated with the little goody-goody, but couldn't just have him killed: technically, Robbie was there of his own free will, his time on the Thunderbolts considered "rehabiliative therapy." But Norman has an idea, when he goes through the list of unregistered superhumans that need to be brought in; which involves the rarely-seen vigilante Americop. (Whose real name was Bart Gallows--a predecessor of Punisher 2099 Jake Gallows?)

Norman gives Bullseye a little "therapy" session, and his marching orders: he was going to be team leader, on the mission to bring in Americop. Even Bullseye thinks that's crazy, but Norman has it all planned out, and Bullseye was under at least some control with the nanites injected into him. The only downside: Bullseye of course was a known criminal murderer, so the government absolutely could not be seen working with him. That shouldn't be a problem, as Bullseye got a tricked-out semi-invisible motorcycle for the job, which he then uses to launch Penance at Americop! Who proves surprisingly durable, surviving their initial attack, throwing Penance around, and putting a "banshee" round in Bullseye's leg. With Norman keeping the rest of the T-Bolts "in reserve," Americop hunts Bullseye and Penance while saying stuff like "they were under cardiac arrest." Hilarious.

To save them both, Bullseye powers-up Penance...by punching him in the spine, a lot. Penance blows out Americop, then Bullseye pummels him some more, before Norman activates the nanobots to shock him down. In another post-mission briefing, Norman gloats he didn't think Penance would've willingly gone through that to amp up the power needed to take down Americop, but Penance disagrees. Namely, he didn't have to use all his power then...He blows up most of Norman's office, before smashing his camera-tapper, and a couple fingers. Norman later gives him the post-mission rating, "beginning to show potential." Which is...kind of more nuanced than I think Norman was capable of at the time? He was like, extra-crazy with sprinkles on top then. It was more like, his way, or a murdery tantrum; not a lot of middle ground.

Americop was a fourth-string nobody; but that was a secret strength of this era: taking obscure characters like that, and giving them a moment to be super-cool...probably before then getting super-murdered, but still. Also this issue: a two-page spread for the former Toy Biz/Marvel Toys Legendary Comic Book Heroes! Build a Pitt or Monkeyman! Ah, that takes me back. Read more!

"Spiel."

Deadpool has been a terrible influence on Kurt... 

King Cobra, and I, were thinking of Slither; who was part of Magneto's short-lived post-Brotherhood of Evil Mutants gang, which was dubbed "Mutant Force" later. Most of the group would become the Resistants, appearing in Captain America around the same time that Viper brought Slither to the Serpent Society. Sure, he seems like a good fit, but Viper seemed to treat him like a dog and that may be how he acted. (In the same vein, I know there's some panels of Magneto greeting Peeper like they were old friends, and I have to call no way on that. That was back in the day when Mags treated Toad and others like Doom treats his lackeys, maybe a little worse.) But, there were other mutants in the Society, right? Most of the early members got their power from tech or implants; or were skilled athletes with gimmicks; but I think later additions like Puff Adder and Rock Python are mutants...probably? Their origins haven't been dug into too deeply.

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That's mildly annoying: that's the second time in recent memory, I've picked up an old Superman comic that I thought was new to me, and recognized it from an old digest reprint about three panels in. Still, it's easier to fit this in the scanner, so I probably shouldn't complain. From 1971, Superman #244, "The Electronic Ghost of Metropolis!" Written by Denny O'Neil, pencils by Curt Swan, inks by Murphy Anderson. I would've probably read this first in 1985's Best of DC #56, the "Superman vs. More Aliens" digest. (There's a small chance I might've read this earlier, borrowed from a relative!)

When Superman sees a mysterious energy aura surrounding the GBS building, he's pretty sure trouble's brewing; and sure enough there's an energy monster tearing up the studio! Although it's probably closer to Zzzax, and predates this by like 30 years, the creature reminds me of an old pal: Kineticlops from War of the Monsters and Downhill Domination, two probably forgotten PS2 games that were both super-fun. Anyway, the creature seems taken aback, when Lois scolds and thrown a lamp at it, so Superman figures he should be able to handle it easily, but he gets shocked and slapped around, until the creature "seemed to seep into the electric cables!" (I always think that was intended as a clue, that the creature maybe couldn't touch another electrical circuit; but it isn't touched back upon.)

Supes switches to Clark Kent, to get yelled at a bit by Morgan Edge, which doubtless seems toxic as hell now but was just sort of the background noise of Clark's life then? Still, he decides to consult the spanking-new GBS computer system, which might have been state-of-the-art for 1971; that is, massive. Probably sounds like an industrial thresher, too. The computer says the monster was not in the building, and the aura he saw earlier was "radiation from quark energy," which is a new one on Superman; so it feels kinda doubtful the computer would even be able know it was there: kids, computers didn't know, or do, squat back then. If you spent weeks inputing a bunch of numbers, you could maybe crunch them into some other numbers, if you knew what you were doing, so probably not.

Clark's news broadcast is interrupted by a report of the creature, now at the television transmission tower. Clark ducks out, "to get more information," and on his way out Superman remembers Lois would've been in that area covering a pageant for the Planet--wow, that seems dated. Even then Lois should've been covering bigger stuff...maybe. Of course, Lois has put herself in danger to get a picture, and Superman saves then lectures her. He then opts to "take a leaf from the Batman's book," and huck a big chunk of metal at the creature, which disappears--disintegrated? Doesn't Superman have a code against killing? Even weirdies like this. Elsewhere in Metropolis, small-time criminal "Teach Dilbert" and his boys watch the news, and hatch a scheme with his "wraith-raiser" box. Teach Dilbert, that would be an unfortunate name. The scheme is blackmail, with a double-exposed trick photo of his machine 'creating' the creature. Superman puts a stop to that pretty quickly, then the creature appears at a local atomic pile, and Superman has to throw it into space before it melts down.

Next, Superman checks with Morgan Edge--maybe? At Edge's penthouse, an unseen figure watches them, but laments Superman can't hear him in a soundproof room, and thus can't stop "the insane plan to conquer the earth!" Who is this mystery man...I'm probably wrong, but I think it was the real Morgan Edge: didn't he start out as a pawn of Darkseid's? Then I suspect they might've wanted to backpedal that, so they could keep him in the same role without him seeming to get off too easy for working with Darkseid or selling out humanity.

Anyway, Superman's realized everywhere the creature appears is connected to...the GBS computer system! Or pointing in that direction; feels like a bit of a leap. Also a bit of a leap: the last three pages here. Did I say leap? More like a series of leaps, as Superman discovers the computer system had gained sentience. Still, mechanical or artificial life wasn't given a lot of consideration back then, so Superman was there to "destroy" it. Moreover, the creature wasn't a manefestation of the computer, it was its child! Which Superman even acknowledges as a baby; but it was too dangerous, so it had to go. When Superman cuts the computer's power, the creature dies as well, while pleading for its "papa" to not die. Yeesh, this story seemed a lot lighter and fluffier in the digest...Superman admits to not feeling "very triumphant!" in the closer, but yeah, you shouldn't? In fact, you should feel worse! Read more!

Here's a lucky find from a dollar bin; with the first full appearance of an old friend! An unfriendly old friend, but still. From 1974, Marvel Team-Up #23, "The Night of the Frozen Inferno" Written by Len Wein, pencils by Gil Kane, inks by Mike Esposito.

It always seems weird to me, Marvel Team-Up without Spidey; but he's only here for a minute, as he borrows a very action-figurey looking flyer, and zips up for Giant-Size Spider-Man #1. But, earlier that evening, Spidey had a run-in with a hidden weirdie trying to rob a jewelry store, and suggests to the Human Torch that maybe he could field that one. Enh, beats doing any sort of introspection, so Johnny's on-board. More astutely than usual, he notices a patch of ice by the store--but it was sixty degrees out! And somebody throws an "ice-bolt" at him--whatever that is. Looks like a two-by-four made outta ice, which conceivably could do some damage. Johnny only knows one guy that maybe could "throw snowballs in a steambath," and conveniently finds him five seconds later--literally, five seconds!--Iceman!

Johnny attacks Bobby, and recaps Spidey's story: he had tried to stop a shadowy burglar, but his webbing just slid off him, and Spidey skidded out on an ice patch himself. Bobby has no goddamn idea what he's talking about, and Johnny tries to arrest him...something I don't think we see him try to do often, even then. (It reminds me of a recent banger of a Ralph Wiggum line: "I'm gonna get Daddy's gun and under-arrest you!") He mostly just doesn't like Iceman. Bobby is just as willing to throw down; maybe especially after Johnny makes a crack about how many "eskimoes" would he need to help him. (The term is largely considered a slur now; although I'm positive anything Johnny knows about them is from Chilly Willy cartoons.) I feel like the guys were about on the same level, since I'm pretty sure they both had some training, yet paradoxically weren't very good hand-to-hand? It would rarely if ever be the first thing they'd try. So the slapping match is interrupted by the arrival of the rest of the (original) X-Men (minus Beast!) who bust up the fight, with Cyclops blasting them but Marvel Girl catching their fall.

While the X-Men confirm Iceman was with them the same time Spidey fought the burglar, Iceman still wants to find whoever's dragging his name through the mud, and tells his team he'll catch up to them later for the big secret mission Professor X needed him for. (Which was...nothing? Checking books on the rack that month, and I think X-Men was all reprints at the time!) Now teamed-up, Johnny and Bobby search...for about five more seconds, as the crook makes another run at that jewelry store! The mysterious figure has burned a hole through a wall this time, and appears to have ice and fire blasts. He makes a break with his stolen goods, but the boys blast him, damaging his metalic containment suit, and revealing...

Equinox, the Thermo-Dynamic Man! I gushed about him a gazillion years ago, since him fighting Yellowjacket is one of my earliest comic-book memories. Johnny and Bobby snipe at each other while fighting with Equinox, who both doesn't seem to want to fight them but also isn't hesitating in trying to kill them. But the fight doesn't go the distance, since the cops show up, possibly because the same jewelry store keeps getting robbed. Equinox tries to escape, while acting like Bobby and Johnny were both twelve-year-olds, which, well...They both hit him with a shot at the same time, which does something to Equinox's "internal reactions," and he blows up. Only the package he tried to steal remains--an atomic clock. A jeweled atomic clock. I...I don't think that does what anybody here thought it would do. Johnny notices, the crater leads to the sewer, which had enough current for someone to escape...

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If you've been to the comic shop recently, you might've seen Giant Robot Hellboy #1 on the racks, which is fun even if the first issue seems to be mostly set-up: Hellboy gets abducted and his brain seemingly transplanted into a giant robot version of himself, which then gets slapped down in a kaiju fight. Neat, but weirdly enough; I just picked up another book with unexpected giant-sized monster fighting: from 1972, Magnus, Robot Fighter #33, reprinting from 1968, Magnus, Robot Fighter #21, "Space Specter" Story and art by Russ Manning. Cover by Vic Prezio.

Although the robots are on the ball, the titular Space Specter is able to cloud men's perceptions, and frees two imprisoned baddies: Xyrkol and Dr. Laszlo Noel. Specter quickly forces them to start harnessing "ectothere," which it describes as the force behind sorcery, ghosts, and poltergeists. Sort of a unified-field theory for the supernatural, there; although I should definitely read more books that go "WHUMP!" With some "C'thulhu" name drops, they build the Ecto-Rob, but that's just the start of their scheming: spells are cast over food distribution centers, to sap the wills and fighting spirit of any who eat it...not that North-Am had a lot of that, but Magnus ate there, too! A weakened Magnus makes a good effort against the Ecto-Rob, but is also hit by illusions and his arms turned to feathers, and gets beat. Magnus is thrown over a railing, while Xyrkol (Circle?) and Noel order nearby bots, specifically do not take that guy to a doctor.

Magnus is saved by young Willo and her father, Director Talltree, who were Blackfoot, and ate locally grown food that hadn't been hexed. Magnus heals up, and Talltree explains the bad guys were tapping into what would have been considered magic, so the same needed to be used against them: it depended on belief. Magnus suggests they share their food with the rest of North Am, to get them out from under the spell, and the people rebel. Magnus fights Ecto-Rob again, this time resistant to the magic, and televised: as more of North-Am believes in him, he gains more power, until the two combatants seem to be a mile high! Defeated, Ecto-Rob vanishes with Space Specter, leaving Xyrkol and Noel to the mob. Talltree has a final note for Magnus, with who might be behind this...Maleev-6, the robot planet Magnus had believed destroyed!

Also this issue: "The Aliens," a Captain Johner story from Magnus #1. Read more!

This probably could've been an issue of Daredevil...

Especially since I don't want to scan Cap from this one: from 1979, Captain America #234, "Burn, Cap, Burn!" Written by Roger McKenzie, pencils by Sal Buscema, finishes by Don Perlin.

The National Force/Dr. Faustus story started in Cap #231, and is probably best known for killing off Sharon Carter in Cap #233. She would return like 200+ issues later; but I don't think her death had been intended to stick as long as it did. She had been brainwashed by Faustus, and this month Cap is as well, as he films an incendiary and race-baiting promo for the National Force. Cap tells "real" Americans--you know which ones--to rally under their banner, which is a literal goddamn swastika painted on his shield. Yeah, I don't think I'll be scanning any of that.

Matt Murdock hears the ad, with Foggy Nelson and Becky Blake, and makes a lame excuse so he can track down Cap. Daredevil apparently gets great reception, as his hypersenses are able to pinpoint the National Force's signal override; but he gets sidetracked saving an old man from getting splattered during a police chase. Still, these cops had been trying to track down some NF goons; which is refreshing to remember a time when the cops being anti-Nazi was more of a given. DD smashes into their warehouse hideout, and has to face Faustus, brainwashed Cap, the "Grand Director"--the red-scare 50's Captain America, who wouldn't come to a good end in this storyline--and the usual gun-toting masked goons. Cap fights DD, and during the fight DD kicks a barrel of chemicals at Cap, which eats the Nazi paintjob off of his shield, which shocks Cap to normal. That's...sort of symbolic, but not great? Faustus still has his other goons, so this one's to be continued.

Faustus is supposed to be a bad guy you should hate; sure, done, but I have no idea what his motivation was. Like, he wanted power, but for any particular reason? Since he had some skill in hypnosis, he seemed to decide because he could force people to kill themselves, he might as well do it? You'd love to see him catch a good beating (or get shot, since I think he's crossed the Punisher before) but he seems to skate, a lot. (Actually, I think his legs or his spine were injured at some point; but I think it was forgotten or the degree of injury varies from appearance to appearance. Or maybe I just don't recall.) Read more!

"Opener."

Ugh, this meeting could've been an email. King Cobra is painting a pretty rosy picture of his criminal enterprise, which may or may not be accurate: he very well could be telling Kurt what he thinks he would want to hear. But, another criminal enterprise heard from, with the debut of the Rose! A gazillion years ago, in the heyday of the Hobgoblin, DeFalco and Frenz made this new crime boss a contender...that was largely pissed away later. I don't know if they had intended him to be the Kingpin's kid from the start--nope! Jim (Priest) Owsley would reveal him as Richard Fisk, DeFalco was thinking Roderick Kingsley, who had that point had been eliminated as a suspect for being the Hobgoblin. (Steve Ditko would've said, it's just some jerk, it doesn't have to be somebody we know!) 

For our purposes, I don't know if we'll get into this Rose's identity, but the old one had a couple regular henchmen for about three years: Mr. Johnston and Mr. Varley. Oh, look, they were crooked cops; I don't think I knew that, although I did know they would get got. But, we've seen his current security before: we used Jaime Noble and Joey Mercury as S.H.I.E.L.D. muscle in a Satana/Black Cat strip like seven years back!

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