In my head, Starro sounds like Patrick from Spongebob Squarepants. Unfortunate.

Sorry, tiny today, so click to enlarge!

Look, if you walk around with a mace all day long, and work with Hal Jordan, I don't see how you could avoid hitting him the head at some point. Thanks again to Hoosier Journal of Inanity's Sea of Green, whose "My Pal Itty" strips gave me the Starro idea.

Under Grant Morrison, Starro became less of a crazy alien menace-of-the-month; and more a creeping, almost Lovecraftian dread. Not a bad angle, Starro as a vast, tidal intelligence, revolting and terrible. But my favorite Starro appearance (except maybe in the O-Squad, if he made that...) was in Justice League Europe. Starro passes himself off to "fellow alien" Kilowog as not a universe-despoiling conqueror, but as a creature that has been humbled and learned compassion, in the multiple sphincter-kickings he's received on earth. I won't go on now, except to say Starro takes over J'onn J'onzz before being defeated by the last Leaguer you'd expect.

And the DCUC "Shazam!" figure? Nice. I had no problems at all with Captain Marvel, and am thrilled. I'm not a huge Marvel Family fan, and never had a proper CM figure until now, but he's worth having. He'll be turning up again...

It is a little off-putting, though, to consider that these really sharp figures are be released at a time when these characters have either no, or vastly changed, appearances in current comic continuity. Isn't Billy Batson the wizard Marvel now, or some such? And Hawkman was killed, and Mr. Miracle isn't Scott Free and has a new costume. Even the Superman figure doesn't line up with the comics, unless you travel back to the 90's mullet days. Not sure about Kalibak (and haven't built him yet) but so far the closest figure to the character's current appearance, just might be Killer Moth, if he's not still a soulless moth-monster-man.

Maybe the DCUC are only being bought by collectors and fans who already know about the characters; or maybe Mattel is leaving it to the buyer's imagination. If little Timmy gets a Batgirl/Azreal two-pack, they can be heroes or villains, friends or enemies, noble or evil; whatever he wants. Of course, if Timmy likes the figures enough to check out some comics with those characters, he's in for a rude awakening when he finds that particular Batgirl's been paralyzed for years and Azreal is dead and forgotten. Yay, comics?

Well, Captain Marvel still has an all-ages book, so that's something. Which reminds me: how old is Billy Batson supposed to be now? Certainly not a teenager, right? I'm thinking ten, maybe; but went with eight since it's funnier there. I understand in JSA he was understandably attracted to Stargirl, since they're close to the same age; except it's really creepy to watch the fully-grown Captain hitting on the fourteen-year-old Courtney. Tough explaining that one to the casual onlooker. Or the rest of the Society.