Man, I'd kill for an Arkon figure...

...and I hate Arkon. I think I've hated just about every story I've seen him in, except for JLA/Avengers, where he's blown up. Sadly, he comes back.

Arkon is what you get if you were to make Conan the Barbarian an Avengers villain, by giving him stupid ass lightning bolts to throw and taking away all his charisma. In every story he shows up in, whatever super hero team is there, the lead female is inexplicably attracted to him; whether it's Storm, the Scarlet Witch, or the Invisible Woman; even though Arkon's got a creepy vibe and is from a planet of smelly barbarians. He's also the king of his extradimensional planet, and does the arrogant douche-king so well, he makes Namor look like Prince Charles. Although he's not so much a bad guy, just about every time he shows up it's a fight.

In this issue, West Coast Avengers #75, after some violence, kidnapping, and brainwashing; Arkon hooks up with Thundra. What's that expression about mixing five gallons of ice cream and five gallons of manure?

Yeah, and Thundra was maybe two gallons of ice cream at best. From "Hostages to Fortune" Written by Roy and Dann Thomas, art by Herb Trimpe, inking assist by Charles Barnett.

But even though I hate Arkon, man, an action figure of him would be absolutely perfect for Bastards of the Universe. Such a jerkass...I wish he had shown up for his beating in ROM (he never did, did he?) or Micronauts or Crystar.