This one's pretty geeky, even for me...

I actually tried to do some due diligence on this post: some comics blogger, out there somewhere, had a post referring to the DC Direct Crisis on Infinite Earths Weaponer of Qward figure as the geekiest thing ever. (I was positive it was Mike Sterling on Progressive Ruin, and he did set me straight on the real Nerdiest Object Ever, but he says it wasn't him! And a big thanks to Mike for getting back to me!) The gist of the post was, the amount of time and effort and possibly charts that it would take to explain that figure to a non-comics reader would be extreme. (If you manage to get as far as "anti-matter universe," your listener has the patience of a saint.) Which brings us, to this:

Pinky there is based off the current look of the Weaponers, and at least gets long pants now. The DC Infinite Heroes version of the Weaponer of Qward is also much smaller, and thus easier to hide than the DC Direct figure. And since I got him for seventy-five cents, well...

So, I got five of the little guys, for just about half of what the usual price was for one. I tried to resist, but that's pretty darn cheap for a small army; and I hated the idea of some cheap, uncaring relative picking one up for a hapless child and scraping the sale sticker off the package. For the price, it's tough to be critical, but the fact that the "Weaponer of Qward" doesn't come with a goddamn weapon, is kind of indicative of the care and effort put into this line...

There have been later waves in the DCIH line, and supposedly the next batch will have a new articulation model, but I gotta figure that line has got one foot in the grave. I haven't bought any of them for the usual suggested retail price of $6.99, because they completely are not worth that. Even at $4.99, you would still feel like you got stiffed an accessory or something; and even Batman didn't come with a Batarang. I have the feeling that Mattel was totally enthusiastic when DCIH was planned and first coming out, then lost interest; it's going to take a lot of effort to turn it around now.

Also this weekend, a little yard sale goodness: first up, a Transformers figure that I believe was Evac. Maybe. He's in pretty good shape, except he's missing the helicopter blades...

Still, not a bad crowd-filler; and he has neat clawed feet...that I cut off on the picture. Also, I got an Iron Man Transformer, the later edition in the War Machine colors, and he was mostly complete:

Not a bad weekend, no. Oh, except for Wolverine. Not the movie itself; but I thought the Youngest would sit through it. Ooh, was I wrong. So, very wrong. Reckon I'm going to just go the DVD route for him for the near future; but the Oldest and I might see if we can go to Star Trek later.
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Remember that time Guy tried to murder Hal?

"Which time," might be a fair question there; but today we're looking at Green Lantern #198, "1" Written by Steve Englehart, pencils by Joe Staton, inks by Bruce Patterson. As usual, I was looking for something else, but here we are, and I had this issue in mind a while back anyway.

Set smack-dab in the middle of the original Crisis, this issue also recaps a ton of Green Lantern history, from Sinestro's origin to the anti-matter universe of Qward. The Guardian that gave Guy Gardner his ring (and gave the then-ringless Hal a new one) has gathered an army of criminals to attempt to destroy Qward, by destroying "the white spot" of positive matter in the negative universe. (Or something like that.)

Sinestro gets John to go to Oa, hitching a ride so he can try to destroy the black spot on Oa's moon and cripple the positive universe. He is stopped by the Guardians, but the power battery then speaks through Lantern Tomar-Re to explain if Guy and Hal succeed, they will make the Anti-Monitor even more powerful. Three Guardians are pictured arguing about three different possibilities: let them try to destroy the anti-matter universe, do nothing and accept their fate, or send the Lanterns to stop Guy and Hal. They finally decide to trust their battery and send the Lanterns.


Meanwhile, Guy's army fights their way through the Qwardian Weaponers, and when Hal refuses to kill in battle, Guy sucker-punches (or sucker-beams) him and takes his ring, leaving him to die in space. Hal survives by taking a dead Qwardian's life-support rig. John stops Guy from destroying the spot, or at least stalls him until they realize the Crisis is over.

The cost is pretty high for the Corps, though: among others, Tomar Re and grasshopper Xax die. I keep getting Xax confused with the wasp-like Bzzd. Who is also dead. I maintain, the GLC needs less fragile bug or squirrel Lanterns, and more Cthulhu-style monstrosities.
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Apparently, Germany was this close to annexing Qward in the big one:

I've mentioned my hapless (and still weaponless!) DCIH Weaponers of Qward here before, and while there's six of them; they're no match for the German soldiers I got on sale! While one is from the Indiana Jones line, the rest are Ultimate Solder XD 1:18 Germans, and were fifty cents a piece. They're probably a touch oversized for G.I. Joes or Marvel Universe figures (and of course the Weaponers are a touch shorter than that) but they aren't too far off.

This whole pile of figures cost me about eleven bucks, but on this thread from the Fwoosh you can check out some far more substantial army builders. Some are so large, I have no idea how the collector got them all to stand at once, to say nothing of what they would've cost. Check it out!

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The Fourth Annual, Random Happenstance Year in Toys!

Even though it often involves a lot of cutting and pasting, and sometimes trying to finish pictures on New Year's Eve (since I have kids, I don't go out for it; but I'm hard-pressed to recollect ever having a great time for it anyway...OK, maybe once or twice.) this is still one of my favorite posts of the year.

For new readers: next to my desk at work is a little yellow notebook, in which I have been keeping a running total of every action figure or toy I buy. I started December 2005 and haven't filled it yet, so apparently I'm not buying enough figures. Hopefully, each entry has the figure, the line, the price, and where I bought it; and possibly a link to a cartoon or strip that toy was used in. Unless that figure's unloved or unphotogenic, I guess.

Unlike every other list that shows up this time of year, this is by no means a "Best of 2009" kind of list: Frankly, there's at least a couple stinkers on there. No, this is a straight tally of what I bought. As usual, most of this list was kept up at OAFE.net, and here's links for 2008, 2007, and 2006. Four years worth of totals! Why, in theory you could get all sorts of interesting statistical data out of that! You could. I'm not.

1-6 First toy of 2009: Diamond Stargate: Atlantis Lt. Col. Sheppard, $8, Hastings.

1-16 Mattel Movie Masters Gotham City Thug, $5, Fred Meyers.

1-23 Hasbro Marvel Legends Ultimate Nick Fury/Captain America, $21.88, Wal-Mart.

1-28 From Toy Bender and Big Bad Toy Store: Diamond Select Battlestar Galactica Helo, Mattel DCUC Mr. Miracle and Hawkman, three Star Wars Order 66 two-packs, and a Sideshow Bespin Luke Skywalker figure! (All part of Toy Bender's Toys for Tots contest, so not counting against my totals.) From the Comic Book Shop, DCUC Shazam, $13.99.

2-7 NECA Player Select Bionic Commando, $15.99. (With credit, $5 at Hastings.)

2-20 DCUC Flash, $8.49, Fred Meyer. (A great sale, I really wish I had been able to buy the variant Big Barda then!)

3-19 Marvel Icons Nightcrawler, $41.29 with postage, eBay. (Love it, but ow.)

3-20 DCUC Harley Quinn, $10.99, Target.

3-30 DCUC Blue Beetle, $13.99, Comic Book Shop.

3-31 DCUC Artemis, $10.99; Hasbro X-Men Origins Deadpool (comic), $8, Target. 2 packs of Marvel stickers with figurines, Magneto and Human Torch, $2.98, Shopco.

4-3 Hasbro Wolverine & the X-Men animated Nightcrawler, $8.44, Wal-mart.

4-8 HML Sunfire, Hasbro Spider-Man Venom, $6.99 each, TJ Max, total $15.25.

4-11 Mattel DC Infinite Heroes, Superman/Supergirl/Wonder Girl, Ross, $5. (Chock full of meh, but $5 is my knee-jerk price point.)

4-16 DCUC Booster Gold (classic), $11.88, Wal-Mart.

4-17 X-Men/Wolverine Animated Nightcrawler, $8.44, Star Trek Spock, $8.97. Wal-Mart. Yes, that's a spare Nightcrawler, but I was a little disappointed with the Spock.

5-5 Stargate Ori Prior, $3.94, Suncoast. I actually thought that was going to be cheaper, and he was only for the dialer piece.

5-15 DC Infinite Heroes three-packs: Green Lantern/Black Canary/Green Arrow and Hawkman+2 Thanagarians, $5 each, $10 total, Ross. They aren't great--no one can look up, which you notice when two-thirds of them can fly--but marked down they feel like a steal.

5-17 DCIH Guy Gardner, $3.50, K-Mart. The same.

5-19 DCIH Batman, $5.99, Fred Meyers. On sale, and bought because having all those characters in that scale and no Batman offended my delicate sensibilities somehow. The DCIH Wonder Woman is gonna have to be way cheaper before I cave on that one, though.

5-20 Mezco the Spirit, $7.98, Hot Topic.

5-29 Playmates Terminator: Salvation T-R.I.P. (6-inch), $7.19, Fred Meyers. It's...it's not great.

6-11 DCIH Adam Strange, $3.50, K-Mart.

6-13 Playmates Star Trek Kirk, 3 3/4", $5, Wal-Mart. Marked down a bit, but out of...

6-16 Spock 3 3/4", $6.99, Target.

6-20 Yay, yard sale stuff! Batman Wayne Manor/Batcave playset, $2. (From B: TAS, probably missing something, but in good enough shape.) Kurt Cobain figure, $3. (Never wanted that at full price!) A couple Gundam things, including Fisty there, $1. Pirates of the Caribbean Captain Jack Sparrow and Elizabeth Swann 3 3/4'', Jabba the Hutt, and a G.I. Joe humvee, $1.

7-3 DCIH Hush and two Manhunters, $1.20 each, K-Mart, $4.91 total. Not bad for that price; and I did take a nice leisurely bike ride (in 90-something degree heat...) to a further K-Mart in the hopes of getting another Manhunter or two, but no dice.

7-4 Yard sale: ID4 Jeff Goldblum, Mecha-Godzilla, a couple random Beast Wars Transformers, a capeless and sad Azrael-Batman, and some accessory pieces: $3. Goldblum had just been on the Colbert Report that week to try and deny reports of his death, so I had to buy him. Weird that it was the fourth, too: that didn't even occur to me 'til later.

7-5 DCIH Black Adam and Hush, $.75 each, $1.61 K-Mart. It's probably too small, but I'd like to headswap the bandaged head to make an Unknown Soldier. (Yes, it's way too small, so no dice there.)

7-10 DCIH Weaponer of Qward: from 2 different K-Marts, five of them. $.75 each, $3.75 total, which is just over half of regular price for one. Poor pink bastards don't even get a weapon, for that matter.

Oh, and a G.I. Joe Scarlett/General Hawk comic pack, $4.

7-11 Yard sale stuff: three Transformers, incomplete; and a mostly-there Iron Man Transformer. It's the later edition in the War Machine colors. $1.

7-17 Marvel Universe Moon Knight, $8.44, Wal-Mart.

7-19 Batman: the Dark Knight Shift Attack Sports Coupe. Marked down from $29.99, $4.99, K-Mart. And a spare for my nephews when I see them next week. I'd say I'm the best uncle ever, but I'm pretty sure I've missed getting them something at some point...

Sometime in there: G.I. Joe Cobra Crimson Guard 5-pack, $12.99, Ross. Not bad, just wish I'd been able to get the generic Joes vs. Firefly set as well.

8-8 Marvel Legends Nova, $10.44; Marvel Universe Thing, $5. Wal-Mart, and only what, twenty months or so late on Nova?

8-12 HML Tigra, $10.44, Wal-Mart.

8-14 DC Direct Watchmen Comedian and modern Silk Spectre, $3.98 each, Hot Topic, total $7.96.

8-20 DCIH Reverse Flash (Professor Zoom), $1.00, TJ Maxx. He was a dollar, I couldn't leave the poor sod...

8-22 Handful of Heroes, $5.96, Walmart. Bought specifically for the Nightcrawler one, but I got Planet Hulk, Magneto, Cyclops, Mandarin, Iron Clad, Spider-Man, and Hulkbuster Iron Man. HB IM is probably the best one.

8-27 Secret Wars Captain America/Klaw, $12.99; G.I. Joe Agent Helix, $7.88, Target, total $20.87.

8-30 Indiana Jones German Soldier, Fred Meyers, $3.40.

9-9 DCIH Weaponer of Qward, $1.20, K-Mart. That makes six! (At a total of $6.22, still cheaper than a single full-priced DCIH figure...)

9-11 Star Trek (3.75 inch) Scotty, $3; 4 Ultimate Solder XD 1:18 Germans, $.50 each, total $5, Wal-Mart.

9-11 Yard sale: LOTR Boromir; 4 3.75 figures: Dusty, a Cobra figure I wanna say is a driver of something, Jack from Xyber 9 (anyone else have a vague recollection of that show?) and General Lando. $1 total.

9-12 Another yard sale: Morbius, TMNT Raph, Fisher-Price Little People motorcycle and toilet (I loved my Little People stuff when I was well, little; and it's still up at my parents' house for kids to play with. I'll always buy anything I find for it at yard sales.) Twenty-five cents.

9-15 Star Trek 3.75 Cadets McCoy and Chekov, $1 each; Secret Saturdays Zak and Doc Saturday, $1 each, Marvel Universe Ronin, $3. Wal-Mart, $7 total.


9-16 Wal-Mart Marvel Legends Black Bolt, Punisher (plain), Daredevil (yellow) and Beast, $5 each, $20 total. Oh, hell yes.

9-17 Wal-Mart exclusive Ult. War Machine, and Nova (for yo go re of OAFE.net!), $2 each!

9-17 Playmates Terminator T-700 3.75, $3.99, TJ Maxx.

9-21 MU Ms. Marvel, $3, Walmart.

10-16 Playmates Star Trek Bridge Playset, $6.48; Nero, Pike, Sulu, and Uhura, $1.75 each; $13.48 total, Target.

10-18 ST Sulu, Scotty, Pike: $3 total, Wal-Mart.

11-14 MU Iron Man, $8.44, Target.

11-16 G.I. Joe Pit Commando, $5.99, Fred Meyers.

11-24 From Big Bad Toy Store: Indiana Jones with machine gun, $1.69; DCIH Black Hand, $1.69, Marvel Universe Silver Surfer, $5.94. (The oldest got the Indy with the rocket launcher, and a Pirates of the Caribbean Jack Sparrow ring!)

12-1 DCUC Vigilante, $6.99, Fred Meyers.

12-10 DC Direct Manhunter (from the History of the DC Universe line), $6.50 (plus $8 postage), eBay.

12-16 DCUC Power Girl, $12.99, Wal-Mart.

12-18 DCUC Man-Bat and Robotman, $12.99 each, $25.98 total, Wal-Mart. DC Direct Creeper (again, from the History of the DC Universe), $4.80, the Comic Book Shop. (Valley, they were closing that location, and clearanced out some figures.)

12-22 DCUC Guardian, $9.99, Fred Meyers.

12-29 Deep breath: Marvel Legends Fantastic Four/Ronan wave Human Torch, $2.20; Spider-Man/Sandman wave Mary Jane, $2.39; DC Direct Diana Prince, $3.20; DCUC Series 7 Captain Cold, Kid Flash, Ocean Warrior Aquaman, and Big Barda (helmetless), $2.80 each. Total with tax, $20.64, from the Comic Book Shop, clearout of their Valley store. None of these were first round draft pick figures, but for the price they were an utter steal; and I was pleasantly surprised to realize I could build Atom-Smasher! And since they've all been out for a bit, you can check reviews for all of them at OAFE.net if you are so inclined.

Year-to-date total: $558.16. My 2006 total was about $620, 2007 was $426, 2008 was $555.16.

What a weird year for toy-buying; and buying Col. Sheppard seems like a hundred years ago. This year was all over the place in terms of the figures' scale, since I ended up with far more 3-3/4 inchers than I would've planned. There's also several figures I very much wanted, but never would've paid full price for, that I lucked into getting on the cheap--Manhunter and Creeper being the best examples, and both will probably get full reviews at a later date. And Wal-Mart finally came through both on the Nemesis wave and DCUC exclusives. (I haven't forgotten the prior DCUC Wal-Mart wave, that I never even saw, but seems like some effort is being expended now.)

Based on a quick count, what line did I end up with the most toys from? The somewhat-maligned DC Infinite Heroes, with 25. Keep in mind, most--actually, all-- of those were bought well below their intended retail price. In second place, DC Universe Classics, with 17, although again with some markdowns. (I also found it odd that I seem to buy a bunch of DCUC in a fairly short span of time, then don't buy more for months.)

In a surprise, Marvel Legends--hey, remember those?--narrowly beat out Star Trek 3-3/4 figures, 13 to 12. Some of the Trek figures are duplicates, and I'll get more as the price finally drops at some retailers: I wouldn't pay more than maybe, maybe three bucks for them now, even to fill in the bridge set. Marvel Universe (and likewise-scaled Marvel lines, like the Wolverine movie) came in with 11. Two of which are Nightcrawler, from the Wolverine animated series, but Kurt will have a Secret Wars figure (with punk Storm, who I'll probably end up with multiples of...) in early 2010.

I mentioned before that between DC Direct and DCUC, I have most of the DC characters that I want in some form or another; I need to revise my wishlist. Between that, and the Marvel Legends on the back burner, I have no idea what the next year will bring in terms of figures. Well, reckon there's only one way to find out!


Probably out for a couple days, but as usual, new strip on Wednesday. Hope to see you then!
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If Blackest Night doesn't deliver some Hal vs. Guy fisticuffs, it has failed.

I recently picked up the Guy Gardner DC Infinite Heroes figure, at a substantial markdown: for $6.99 or more, you'd feel taken, but for $3.50 it's a lot more reasonable. It's in the three and three-quarter inch scale (or in that neighborhood) and not terrible, but certainly not amazing; but it has the virtue of being the first Guy Gardner figure for me.

Then, while reading some posts over at the ever-entertaining Green Lanterns' Butts Forever, I got to thinking about some old school Guy Gardner appearances. Not the oldest, but his return while Steve Englehart was writing the book. I've lost several of those issues, but to the best of my recollection, Englehart didn't give Guy a single redeeming, or endearing, characteristic. (Certainly not for a while, anyway; I don't think we saw other sides of Guy until his Justice League days.) While Guy may have had the excuse of being (quite literally) brain-damaged, he was a single-minded psychopath, willing to do anything in the service of the Guardians, in order to prove he was the greatest Green Lantern. And "anything" included working with super-villains, and attempting to murder Hal Jordan.

Sod, now I have to find that one: prior to becoming a Green Lantern again, Hal was using a power ring but not the costume. During the Crisis, Hal, Guy, and an army of super-villains attempt to destroy the positive matter spot on the moon of Qward in the anti-matter universe...yeah, that sounds more insane here. Doing so was supposed to destroy the Anti-Matter, but instead would've blown up reality or something. At one point, when Hal dissents, Guy takes his power ring, and leaves him to die in space. I don't remember it coming up much after that, and Hal was a lot less maverick in those issues, so it's not like he'd just let it slide; Englehart may have realized he went too far there.

Well, maybe we'll dig those up again sometime. These figures are all from the DC Infinite Heroes line, and as such are smaller than I usually work with. None of them are quite as poseable, either; and you can judge for yourself on the paint. But, I have been thinking about how these smaller figures are going to look as a group, and how they might look with other figures; which we might get to Friday. If we're lucky.

Oh, and Ollie socking Hawkman in the kisser? It's traditional. I don't know if they ever actually came to blows in the classic satellite era Justice League of America, but they did not get along. Carter was a conservative voice of reason, or a fascist just-following-orders tool; and Ollie was a liberal dreamer fighting for change, or a blowhard asshole. Depending on who was writing them, I suppose. We may come back to that, as well.
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80-Page Thursday: Justice League Quarterly #8!

Another Thursday, another 80-page comic! Today, Justice League Quarterly #8, featuring "Double Trouble!" Written by Mark Waid, pencils by Rod Whigham, inks by Romeo Tanghal.

In the first issue of Justice League Quarterly Max Lord's ex-wife Claire Montgomery establishes the first corporate-sponsored super team, the Conglomerate; which included former Leaguers Gypsy and Booster Gold. Lord invites her to set up a charity match between the Conglomerate and the JLI, but it's a trap: using shell companies and bribes to make better offers to Claire's team, she's left hanging the day before the show with no team and forced to hold tryouts.

In the best DC tradition,the scabs come out in force, but one Norman the Doorman has some promise, if a colossally stupid name: he can open dimensional portals, such as one to a world full of heroes that may be a match for the League. Claire invites them to our world and gives them jobs; and the next day at the match, as Flash and Blue Beetle badmouth the Conglomerate, the new Conglomerate arrives.


As the events seem to get rougher, Green Lantern Hal Jordan visits Oberon, who is watching from the embassy. Although he's never met them, he recognizes the "Conglomerate" on sight: they're from Qward, the antimatter universe of the Crime Syndicate! (It's also occasionally known as Earth-3, depending on when you ask.) By this time, the new Syndicate (Hal believes the originals to be gone) are in a full-on brawl, ending only when the heroes push them back through Norman's portal.

Expecting to be fired by her corporate sponsors, Claire declares the end of the Conglomerate...except the sponsors loved the show, and can't wait for more.

The status of the Crime Syndicate is always a bit of a crapshoot, but now with the current DC continuity, it's still probably just a matter of time before they appear in some form. "Evil universe" is too tempting to leave on the table...

This issue also features a Peter Cannon, Thunderbolt prequel; another Max Lord story, and the return of the Global Guardians. For some reason.
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I was going to blog an issue of Green Lantern Corps the other day, but realized I had already blogged it...one panel, at least. I was going to ask why Kilowog isn't breaking Sinestro's neck every time he sees him, but we'll have to let that go. Instead, we've got what may well have been my first issue of Green Lantern, and it's technically a last issue! From 1986, Green Lantern #200, "Five Billion Years" Written by Steve Englehart, pencils by Joe Staton, inks by Bruce Patterson. (With a Walt Simonson cover!)

I had been a Green Lantern fan since Challenge of the Super-Friends, but I didn't read his comic back then! It wasn't until reruns of Challenge started on cable that I thought about trying one, and I started here. It's the conclusion of several months of plotlines and a few loose ends from Crisis, and very much the end of an era; even though this writer and artist would be on the next issue.

The Guardians of the Universe were, unbeknownst to their Green Lanterns, preparing to wrap up their tenure protecting the universe. Fourteen of them had died facing the Anti-Monitor, and the remainder felt their best days were behind them, and wanted to finish before they were no longer able to. In that vein, GL's were gathering some of the universe's worst criminals for incarceration in the Sciencells, like Sinestro. John Stewart and Katma Tui were bringing home the Guardians' mortal brother, Appa Ali Apsa; while Hal Jordan and others were bringing in Goldface and more. Meanwhile, Guy Gardner was meeting up with Star Sapphire, Queen of the Zamorans. Guy isn't that impressed, pointing out that the Zamarons only choose a queen as it suits them. Star and Guy fight for a bit, before they're interrupted by Hector Hammond--or a mental projection of him--who proposes teaming up as "the triumvirate of terror!" Nerd.

Speaking with Appa, who recounts some of the Guardians' failures, John and Katma guess the Guardians are going to end their...guardianship, and wonder what that would mean for them. Meanwhile, Hal, only recently reinstated, was pleased as punch to have his ring again: he tells Arisia "My crisis is over! And to me, it was bigger than the one the universe faced!" Um, a lot of people died, Hal. Flying off alone to enjoy himself, Hal passes a deserted moon, and finds...the Flash?

Barry disappears in short order, then Hal is visited by the recently deceased Tomar Re, then Carol Ferris. She wasn't currently dead, though; which may have warned Hal just enough; as Star Sapphire knees him in the face! Guy and Hammond pile on, but Hal's will is at its peak strength. Hammond is knocked out, back on earth; and Guy and Star are captured. Meanwhile, Sinestro's plan goes into motion, as his Weaponers of Qward attack John and Katma. Faced with death, Appa bluffs them into believing he was still a Guardian, until the GL's finish the fight. And on Oa, after dropping off their prisoners, Ch'p looks where he shouldn't, and is dragged into a purple light!

As the GL's start to gather, Guy and Star act like they're too cool for that, but even they're impressed by the rare sight of two thousand, eight hundred Green Lanterns! That may be undercut by the Guardians' arrival, for a history lesson of ten billion years. Thankfully, they just hit the high notes. Among them, three billion years ago, the creation of the GLC and the departure of the future Controllers; two-and-a-half billion years ago, the departure of the Guardians' women--the Zamorans! They aged so much better than the Guardians did, since they look like hot Amazons. A Guardian and a Zamoran duel, to see if they should reunite, and they agree to...which means the Guardians would be leaving the Green Lanterns. The Guardians and Zamorans would be leaving the universe, but they say the power battery would continue to charge their rings. Appa Ali Apsa would remain, for the rest of his mortal life, as an advisor, albeit from his adopted homeworld Maltus. And Guy Gardner would have to serve there, to show he had earned his ring. (He wouldn't be there long...)

Star Sapphire was furious, over having finally become the Zamorans' queen, only for them to up and split on her. Finally, the Guardians tell Hal and John, to protect earth, since it could be on the verge of as big of an evolutionary leap as they themselves had made, perhaps within a Millennium. Before the Guardians leave, one last bit of business: dealing with an impostor in their midst, Sinestro! He's put back in his Sciencell, permanently. (Not even a year!!) The Guardians of the Universe and the Zamorans leave this universe, "...and then five billion years--as infinitesimal in the scheme of time as one fleeting moment--are over and done!"

Is it weird there was a matching number of Zamorans and Guardians? I mean, the Guardians had just lost fourteen members. Unless fourteen Zamorans just burst into flames, like the Dark Crystal. This issue builds off years of continuity, but still reads remarkably well as a single issue. Next month would be the first issue of Green Lantern Corps, although the numbering would continue with #201. (Per the GCD it would be a little bit before the indica made it official.) And that next issue would be the first appearance of Kilowog! It's weird to remember he's a relatively new addition to the GL mythos, since he would be retconned in as Hal's trainer within a few years. Honestly, I half expected to see him here...
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Wish I remembered how I balanced that...

Just a quick one: I had wanted to set this up for a while, a meeting of the disappointing DCIH Superman (not a great sculpt, not overly poseable, overall super-blah) and the slightly-less disappointing Doomsday from the pre-DC Universe Classics Superman line. Doomsday looks nice, but is just out-of-scale with the DCUC figures; he probably needed to be at least an inch and change taller and wider. So, I thought maybe he'd look better with a smaller Superman...

And I gotta say...not quite. Now Doomsday's too big, isn't he? And without looking at The Death of Superman, just from memory, wasn't Doomsday beefier? Well, worth a try.

In other news, the other day I got another DCIH Weaponer of Qward, bringing my squad total to six. Really need to look into getting the poor guys some weapons...

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"Sounds like Superman is in trouble!...but, I'm already going the other way, so..."

I don't recall if Brave and the Bold ever did this, but Marvel Team-Up and Marvel Two-in-One used to sometimes and it would drive me up the wall. Today, Superman's team-up book pulls that stunt: from 1979, DC Comics Presents #6, "The Fantastic Fall of Green Lantern!" Written by Paul Levitz, pencils by Curt Swan, inks by Francisco Chiaramonte.

A press club awards dinner honoring Clark Kent and Lois Lane is marred by Clark falling over like a clod again; but if he hadn't, several people would probably have been killed by the crash-landing Green Lantern! Superman had heard him coming, and feigned clumsiness to keep everyone out of harm's way. Barely conscious, GL gives his ring to Clark, who gets his own outfit! Lois is pretty quick to ask why, the implication being Clark shouldn't be trusted with a stapler, but 'Superman' arrives to help Clark out and take the ring. That's a projection created by the power ring, which explains what happened: Green Lantern had gotten the stuffing kicked out of him, by none other than Star Sapphire!

Sapphire had faced Supes before--in Superman #261, which I'd love to read--and isn't intimidated. She's able to get the power ring away from him in short order; then teleports away to abduct Hal, in order to learn him some manners so he'll be a proper consort for her, and she can become queen of the Zamorans! Which was contingent on getting Hal, for some reason? Supes is able to intercept Sapphire's ship on the way to Zamora, but doesn't realize he's being watched, by the Weaponers of Qward! Fighting Sapphire, Superman is able to recover the power ring; but is then zapped simultaneously by her and an unseen Weaponer, knocking him out momentarily. Even unconscious, Supes is still trying to use the ring to get the Star Sapphire gem off of Carol Ferris, but doesn't have enough will...still, that's pretty impressive.

Hal recovers the ring, since he can control it when close enough; and explains a little about how Sapphire is giving him such a hard time: he loves Carol, who doesn't want him as GL; and she is tempting as Star Sapphire--crazy/evil is hot--but that would mean the end of his Green Lantern career. GL revives Superman, who is able to get the gem and turn her back into Carol, and she passes out. Hal confesses to Superman, part of him wanted to lose to her; and takes Carol back to Coast City. As he takes off, Superman wonders how she was able to affect him so strongly, and the Weaponer strikes again! He claims his "Q-Energy" bolts could kill even him...to be continued, next month, with a different hero: Red Tornado! Ugh, I know GL took off in a hurry, but the Weaponer hit him with a friggin' thunderbolt, he maybe should've heard that. I never like it when the team-up stories continue, with a different guest-star. If the first guest-star stays on for the second part as well, that's fine; but when they ditch out it just strikes me as rude.
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"The End" Week: Justice League Unlimited #46!

From 2008, the last issue of Green Lantern Corps--er, Justice League Unlimited #46, "The Dork, G'nort, Returns" Written by Matt Wayne, pencils by Carlo Barberi, inks by Bob Petrecca. 

It's a Green Lantern-centered issue, as John Stewart is on Oa for an induction ceremony for new Lanterns, that is interrupted by "an energy flare from the poozin' antimatter universe just happens to punch through the G.L. Corps private gateway and takes out the Guardians...?" Man, I would read a ton more DC Comics if Kilowog did the recaps. The GL's receive a burst-message from G'newmann, G'Nort's uncle, who has traced Sinestro to the Weaponeers of Qward, but may have been captured. G'nort is willing to go rescue his uncle, if someone would maybe point him in the right direction. Tomar-Re says only the most experienced Lanterns have been to the anti-matter universe, but John thinks this is an all-hands-on-deck situation. (Or, maybe sink or swim.) After a quick charge, Kilowog points out how skull-meltingly dangerous this is:

G'nort may be green (boo!) but he acquits himself admirably, even as Uncle G'newmann is revealed as a traitor working with Sinestro. The rings don't work on yellow in that dimension (I don't think it was consistently a weakness in the cartoon) and Sinestro binds up the lot of them, since the central power battery would soon be destroyed and he wanted them to feel their anti-matter deaths. Angrily, G'nort bites Sinestro--but that's just to get the yellow ring! And luckily, John had sent a message for back-up (including Guy and Kyle!) since a slip in G'newmann's message had given him away. (Sinestro doesn't "work with" anyone, he enslaves them. It's iffy.)

The denizens of Sector 68 may not realize it, but they may be safer today: G'nort is given his uncle's old sector to patrol, which he takes with joy. I would've maybe preferred a more League-focused story for the last one, but it's still a good issue.

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Sometimes, I wish I could pull out a list, like for Previews, of all the books that came out, say, December 1978; so I could see if, oh, Fantastic Four really was 'The World's Greatest Comic Magazine' for that month. I'm pretty sure World's Finest was often an exaggeration, though.

Today we've got World's Finest #254, "Whom Gods would Destroy!" Story by Bob Haney, art by George Tuska and Vince Colletta. The cover by Jim Aparo shows promise: Sinestro, perennial Green Lantern villain, blasting Superman with his power ring; while Supes exhorts a sweaty-looking Batman to "Wake up...or your nightmare of Sinestro destroying the world will come true!" And then inside, Batman is chasing down a Col. Sander's looking scientist, who babbles like a loon, and Batman blacks out.

This is what we call, 'coming down.' Try to relax.

Batman lies down for a little nappy-nap in what appears to be a cobblestone alley, with loose bricks. Urban renewal was a ways away, I guess. He dreams of Sinestro fighting Superman, which is:
A. Weird.
B. Weird, but not creepy weird, thank God.
C. Geez, I think I've dreamed that, after watching Super Friends and mainlining Quik. I miss college.
D. Probably a vacation, after dreaming about his parents' murders for like 30 years.

The scene shifts entirely to Superman, as Sinestro "has just sent every heavy plate glass window in every skyscraper in Metropolis, USA, tumbling down like a billion guillotines towards the throngs below!" And Superman tells himself, "Get off your Super-butt! Do something--!" I'm probably not qualified to judge, but is it a 'Super-butt'? I hope he refers to everything as super, from super-hands to super-feet...man, that's weird.

At super-speed, Supes smashes all the glass into powder...this is one of those things that Superman 'fixes,' and when I say 'fixes,' I mean 'doesn't outright destroy, but leaves in a seriously precarious state.' Several bloggers pointed out in Infinite Crisis, I believe Supes stops a building from tipping over and rights it, then leaves...leaves an assload of structural damage and shattered foundation. Yes, powdered glass would be safer than billions of razor-sharp shards, but...

Oh, sweet Jeebus. What could be better than powdered glass in your eyes? Why not let your kid play in it! Stick out your tongue and catch it! Officer 'Blazes' has a point: I think several tons of powdered glass would indeed keep the crooks at home for a while.

Sinestro seems confused here. After all, all the times he fought Green Lantern, GL never stopped him from destroying Coast City by destroying it first. He leaves in a Spaceman Spiff-looking rocket, presumably made by his power ring, but who knows at this point. Superman starts taking fistfuls of the 'glass snow,' zapping it with his heat vision, and replacing the windows. You might as well replace "glass snow" with "magic dust" or "lobster farts." Same difference.

Batman wakes up, figuring his 'vision of something crazy happening in Metropolis" up to fatigue. Look, Batman, I once was so hungover, I thought a Godzilla marathon on TNT was on CNN; and even that pales in comparison to this. You're not tired. Get help.

Before he can take in the babbling doctor, a carful of goons show up; but even a tired Batman can take out four or five armed thugs. But, as the chapter ends, a sniper takes aim at Batman's back, following orders to kill the doctor rather than lose him. He also plans on killing Batman, but wouldn't they be able to get the doctor back after shooting Batman? Well, when you have a gun already in hand, it probably wouldn't occur to you.


Oh, Great Rao, I'm only on page 8 of this one...sigh. The sniper fires twice, and Batman goes down, dropping the doctor. In the very next panel, Batman, carrying the doctor again, does a standing high jump of at least six feet straight up and over a fence. "Impossible!" exclaims the sniper, and I'm inclined to agree. Batman explains that he had been wearing a bulletproof vest under his costume: I'll grant him walking off being shot twice, since hey, it's Batman. But that jump, carrying another man and with bruised ribs...look, my suspension of disbelief is strong enough to accept two different kinds of aliens and the rest of the insanity in this story. It's not strong enough to do that carrying the doctor.

Letting that go: Batman takes the doctor back to his Batcave, the seventies one that was under the Wayne Foundation building. Hey, is that one still there? Out of nowhere, Batman thinks that it was risky to bring the doctor, Willard, here, since he
knows Batman and Bruce Wayne are the same man! And, right on top of that bombshell, Batman asks the doctor the whereabouts of the brain of Gorilla Boss Dyke! Willard says, aliens took it.

Now that's good crazy: if we had gotten All-Star Batman from Grant Morrison, we might be close to this territory.

And now comes the infodump: when criminal Boss Dyke was executed, Dr. Willard transplanted his brain into a gorilla, although the art isn't clear if it was normal-sized or giant. Dyke's plan was to capture Batman and steal his body, but he fell to his death, like all giant apes. Seriously. If my brain ended up in King Kong, Donkey Kong, whatever, I wouldn't even stand on top of a chair. This is footnoted to Batman #75, listed on GCD as February-March 1953. It may have been reprinted in one of those gorilla specials DC loves.

More recently, World's Finest#251 to be precise; in a plot involving chlorophyll-stealing aliens, Dyke's brain ended up in Batman's body briefly, before Batman was restored and "Willard escaped with the brain of Gorilla Boss." Well, if he's just a brain in a mason jar, he's not really 'Gorilla' Boss, is he? He's just plain old Boss Dyke. Heh, Boss Dyke in Batman's body. Yet another sentence you thought you'd never see, huh? And let the misdirected traffic roll on in...


Oh, hell with this. Let's go back to Sinestro vs. Superman for a minute. Sinestro is still wrecking Metropolis, and Superman thinks that he could use his 'unlimited willpower' (and 'super-modesty') to overwhelm Sinestro's beam, but that would cause even more destruction. Supes is forced to let up, giving the gloating Sinestro more opportunities for demolition, like cutting a bridge in half.

To save cars thrown into the water, Superman has to first "blow a giant bubble of super-breath", then he locks the cars' bumpers together into a chain that he drags to safety. That's like three panels of super-feats that make super-ventriloquism or super-kiss-make-Lois-forget seem completely reasonable in comparison. I don't know much about fluid dynamics, but I know even four cars welded together wouldn't hold up as a chain. Rrr. Let's go back to Batman.

Batman's right there with us, however: he has another blackout, and again sees Superman and Sinestro fighting. He uses a 'neuroserum' to get Willard coherent enough to talk: apparently tired of hiding out, Willard had taken Boss Dyke's brain for a walk in the park, and aliens stole it, doing a number on Willard's own brain in the process. What...why...ok, give me a second here: why did Willard have the brain with him? Well, maybe he didn't feel anyone else could be trusted with it, and he really needed that sunshine to combat his seasonal affective disorder. OK, but what did he keep the brain in? A baby carriage? A Saks Fifth Avenue bag? A turban on top of his own head?

Investigating the scene of the abduction, or would it be theft at this point? Batman, with Willard in tow, notices a bum with a newspaper over his face, and the headline "Metropolis Beseiged Sinestro Outpowers Superman" Maybe the other words or puncuation were too small or cut off. Bigger fish to fry here: Just like in All-Star Batman, events in Metropolis and Gotham City seem to occuring concurrently, yet with enough time for the print media to report on them.

Batman realizes his flashes are actually happening, just in time to get shot. Again. This time, by a guy on a merry-go-round, which would've been quite the coup, if the would-be killer hadn't just nicked Batman's shoulder, then gotten his skull cracked by a batarang. I think Batman broke out the heavy batarang for this guy, it looks about a foot across. I have no idea, how Batman would've made that throw, hitting a guy ducking down behind a horse (like a cowboy in a good western, the guy had skills!) on a moving carosel. Technically, I don't think we see the carosel is moving, but we don't see a lot of background, and we've only seen four people in this park at all. (That would be Batman, Willard, the bum with the newspaper, and the gunman.)

Batman checks the scorch marks of the 'aliens,' and they show as pure yellow on the spectrum analysis. Uh, all right...he realizes Sinestro staged the aliens with his ring, to confuse the issue. Batman realizes Boss Dyke's brain is connected with the fights in Metropolis, and since that brain was once in Batman's head, residual cells must be causing the flashes.

Back in Metropolis, Sinestro releases radioactive steam from a nuclear plant, which Supes then has to eat; then creates a yellow shield over the city that even Superman couldn't penetrate...and maybe a DC historian could tell me what the hell Green Lantern was up to this month. Batman contacts Superman and sends him into space.

Batman somehow uses his residual-link to give directions ("Um...space.") and Supes finds Boss Dyke's brain, which Sinestro has enlarged to planet-size, to use as a "reservoir of will to draw on...!"

Despite being forsworn from taking life, Superman treats the brain like a tumor, and x-rays it to death. Then, he punches Sinestro's ass back to the anti-matter dimension of Qward, which isn't an explosion of positive and negative matter, but more of an inconvenience for him by now.

Superman is glad to have the usual problems back again, and Batman notes that with Willard hopelessly insane (but luckily not scarred, which means he won't escape Arkham) and Boss Dyke's brain destroyed, "Superman and I had our hands full on this amazing adventure, but we never even met!" Take that, Seven Soldiers!

Holy hell, there's at least eighteen kinds of crazy in that story. But, there is some charm to it. Where else but in comics, can a mob boss have a story arc that goes from brain-transplanted-into-gorilla, to pawn-in-alien-chrorophyll-theft to brain-grown-to-planet-size-used-as-will-battery? Nowhere, that's where. And everything is summed up nicely, so even if you didn't have all the back issues, or experience with DC's gorilla fixation, they brought you up to speed.

Plus, I bought this issue for a quarter, yet I had to devote several hours to posting about it. And that's just the opening story, there's four other features in there, including Green Arrow blowing up the Arrowcar, and a Ditko Creeper tale. Can't say I didn't get my money's worth.
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