Friday, March 06, 2009

Per Blog Law, here's the obligatory Watchmen post:

Sort to hype-size!

While it's common knowledge amongst comic fans that the Watchmen were at least initially based on the Charlton heroes acquired by DC, I had it in my head that Silk Spectre was based on Charlton's Nightshade, about the only female hero in their roster. Guess she wasn't, or she was more based on characters like Phantom Lady. Whom I just happen to have an action figure of...(From the Beat, a link to a good piece on Charlton's history here)

It also occurs to me that while Blue Beetle seems like everyone's favorite, Captain Atom had a longer run at DC, fifty-seven issues. It would take two BB series to beat that.

Man, I can't wait for the DCUC Blue Beetle, but a new Question would be great. The color scheme, hat-mask, and limited articulation make the DC Direct version a little out of date. The trenchcoat seemed like a good idea at first, but the collar is too thick to fold down and blocked Vic's face. What there is of it, anyway. At any rate, take a moment before heading off to the Watchmen movie to remember not only the work of Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons, but the work and the characters that may have inspired them, at least a little.

OK, that's long enough.

(Pool, looking around, Kurt with paper.)
POOL: Weren't we doing something else a second ago?
KURT: I don't know. Between the drinking, and not paying attention to you, I black out most of my days now...

POOL: That isn't good.
KURT: Beats the hell out of having flashbacks all day.
POOL: Touche.

KURT: Anyway, I was gonna go see a movie. You can come, if you aren't one of those people who talks to the movie...
POOL: Can I put M&M's in the popcorn?

KURT: Fine, whatever. Let's see...Well, I guess it's Watchmen or nothing this week...

(Captain Atom, Blue Beetle, the Question, and Phantom Lady smash in.)
KURT: Sonuva!

(Kurt, to Beetle, Cap)
KURT: What the hell is this!?
BB: We're getting the word out to boycott the movie Watchmen!
CAP: It's shameful, the way Hollywood has desecrated the artistic vision of Alan Moore!

KURT: And you're doing this door-to-door?
BB: Hey, we're super-heroes. We have to do things big. What, did you think we were going to blog about it or something?

(Pool, to Question, PL.)
POOL: Hey, there's something familiar about you guys.
QUESTION: Hurm. No, there isn't.

(Question, snaps Pool's finger.)
POOL: No, seriously, I thought I'd seen you guys--OW!
QUESTION: No, you didn't. Rude to point.

POOL: Asshat! You broke my finger!
KURT: You'll heal. Wait--Beetle, Captain Atom, Question--you're the Charlton Heroes! Watchmen was going to be based on you!

BB: That's right! And if Beardy McBrit hadn't queered the deal, that movie would be about us! Licensing, action figures, happy meals! Big bags of cash and international recognition, ####ed right in the ###, for "art"!
CA: Yeah! It could be me up there on that screen, exposing my junk to millions!

(Everyone stares at Captain Atom.)

CA: I! Alan Moore dicked us over!

KURT: Look, that's a tough break and all, but it's more than likely Watchmen wouldn't have been, you know, WATCHMEN, if Moore had tried to do it with Peacemaker.

POOL: That's right, Kurt. And just as the movie doesn't take away anything from the book, the book and the Charlton characters are separate entities as well. Regardless of your influence on Watchmen, or vice versa, you are what you are, that is, colossal losers.

(Question breaks another finger.)
QUESTION: HURM. A=A, you=dick.
POOL: OW! Hey, aren't you supposed to be a girl now! And why are you talking like that?

(Question breaks another.)
QUESTION: HURM. AHURM. HKKKK! Oh, man. I've had a cold for weeks. And there's nothing grosser then trying to spit in this mask.

BB: I...I guess we'll just have to face facts: we're never going to be household names. But we can take comfort in the fact that in some small way, we helped inspire one of the greatest graphic novels of all time, and a major work of the last half of the twentieth century.

(Question breaks pool's finger again!)
POOL: Of course, they could never do a sequel to Watchmen, but you guys are still available--GODDAMNIT! I'm helping you now! That one just healed!
CA: Question, no! He's right! Even if we're seen as the knockoffs, we could still get a project!

(BB, CA, Question celebrating.)
BB: Woo! Hollywood!
CA: Yes! Goodbye pants!
QUESTION: Straight to DVD, here we come!

KURT: Great. Nice job, Wade. The sad thing is, it'll probably work.
POOL: Ah, don't be such a bringdown. If it gets them some work, more power to them. What I wanna know is, what you're doing with them...rrrrowr!

(PL snaps Pool's finger!)
POOL: Ouchie!
PL: Yeah, not even if you looked like Ryan Reynolds under there, which I know you don't.
KURT: No, he's right. I thought Silk Spectre was based on Nightshade...

PL: Maybe, but probably not. Still, it's hang out with these losers, or the Freedom Fighters.

KURT: Yow. Wanna go see Watchmen?
PL: Why not. Do you want Junior Mints or Hot Tamales?
KURT: Your choice, as long as you keep breaking Pool's fingers...
POOL: Hey!


SallyP said...

I love how Captain Atom can't WAIT to expose his junk on the screen. Now THAT'S the Captain Atom that I remember from the old JLI!

I'd kill for that Blue Beetle figure. They have one at my local Comic Book Store, but they want about $100 for him, and even I'm not quite that insane.

Sea_of_Green said...

Darn it! I still need to get out and see that movie!

Hee, hee ... as long as Phantom Lady keeps breaking Pool's fingers. ;-)

googum said...

Hold out a bit: the DCUC Blue Beetle and Booster should be out pretty soon, and they look great. Poe had a picture up the other day.
Probably won't see Watchmen until maybe the weekend. Maybe.