If Cirque de Soleil wore costumes like this, I'd make less fun:

One of my favorite pages, from a favorite single issue: Batman: Gotham Adventures #6, "Last Chance" Written by Ty Templeton, pencils by Rick Burchett, inks by Terry Beatty. Even though a pre-dead Boston Brand had appeared in the Batman animated series' continuity before, this issue almost completely covers Deadman's origin and major story arc, finding his killer, the man with the hook.

I like the character a lot, and will usually pick up a Deadman guest appearance or reprint whenever I can, whether it's in Batman, the Spectre, or Legion of Super-Heroes. But I haven't followed as much of his solo stuff, like his appearances in Action Comics Weekly or his Kelley Jones miniseries or even his recent 2001 mini Dead Again and short-lived series. (Come to think of it, I've read most of his 80's miniseries, with art by Garcia-Lopez, I think; but not the last issue. Have I? Now I can't remember if I read it, or saw the ending somewhere.)

Here's a recap page, from Dead Again #1, "The Quick and the Dead" Written by Steve Vance, art by Leonard Kirk and Rick Burchett.

This issue was set during the Crisis of Infinite Earths, as Deadman tries to help the newly departed Flash to his final reward, only to have Flash's soul caged by evil wizard Darius Caldera. I haven't read the rest of the series but Deadman fights Caldera at other key deaths in DC history, specifically Jason Todd, Superman, and Hal Jordan. Considering none of those are currently dead, Boston must've done better than we thought...actually, Marvel ran into this problem, more than once, with the Legion of the Unliving, almost all of whom have at some point moseyed on back to the land of the living.

But then, how many comics have there been, where say, Captain America, at death's door, saw Bucky? Or Batman turned away from his final reward by Jason Todd? Reckon there's got to be a couple, and then it turns out those wacky sidekicks weren't dead at all, which would imply that most of the time when someone about to die sees a loved one, it's a hallucination. Well, that's a downer. Or maybe a warning to drop that particular old cliche. Either or.
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Recent comics, Mel Brooks references, toys I'm not buying; all over the map today:

In case you missed it last week, X-Men: Manifest Destiny: Nightcrawler came out, and I liked it. Now, over at If Destroyed, Still True there's a more objective review, but this issue strongly exceeded my expectations. Well, that's damning with faint praise, since my expectations--based on the solicit for this issue as "Quitting Time"--were pretty damn low. Lower. I was expecting the whole issue to be moping and flashbacks, possibly set to Boys II Men "It's So Hard To Say Goodbye To Yesterday."

Not a pretty mental picture, huh? Fortunately, writer James Asmus skips a lot of that nonsense: Kurt is out the X-door by page four, on his way to Winzeldorf, Germany, to check out the Nightcrawler Museum. It's a good hook, and the rest of the issue doesn't quite rise to that level, it's still fun. And it's not like Nightcrawler gets center stage in the regular X-books ever.

Last week also had the new issue of Deadpool, which has been a little disappointing:

OK, that's not bad, and I'm sure I'm not the only one that's going to be able to work that line into conversation; but the issue feels a bit stalled. Deadpool's seeking revenge on Norman Osborn, who stole Pool's Skrull info, enabling him to kill the Skrull Queen and become America's sweetheart; more importantly, it cost Pool a huge payday from Nick Fury. So, Pool attacks Avengers Tower, which would be a terrible idea even if the building wasn't closed for remodeling, or Norman was actually there, or if Pool wasn't hallucinating something fierce. Wade fights some remote controlled Green Goblin junk and trips out until the Thunderbolts show up, setting up the crossover in Thunderbolts #130.

There's a couple funny bits, yeah, but a sequence with Norman Osborn as a giant stinkyhead...giant while Pool climbs the beanstalk (actually the elevator shaft, not a metaphor for anything...) goes on for too long, and seems to be killing time until the next chapter. Right this second, it doesn't feel like this needed four parts, and I don't know if I'll pick up the Thunderbolts issues. Disappointing, especially since early issues of Deadpool showed more promise. Or at least cheap, funny gags:

Yeah, anytime you can swipe from Young Frankenstein, you should. For example:

(From The Incredible Hulk Annual #16, "Quality of Mercy" Written by Peter David, pencils by Angel Medina, inks by Larry Mahlstedt. Part Three of "Lifeform," but pretty damn entertaining.)

I just wanted to throw those last two out there, since I don't know if I ever mentioned it before, but Young Frankenstein is one of the first movies I can remember ever seeing in the theatre. While I don't think it scared the hell out of me, ala Homer Simpson; I know it was probably many years before I saw it again and fully realized it was actually a comedy. I was pretty little, yeah.

Nightcrawler panel written by James Asmus, art by Jorge Molina and Adrian Syaf with inks by Victor Olazaba and Vicente Cifuentes. I think Molina did the stronger first end of the book.

Deadpool panels from issues #4 and #8, written by Daniel Way, art by Carlo Barberi (#4 only) and Paco Medina, inks by Juan Vlasco. Minus the big hallucination sequence, I really like the art, but it is going to clash something fierce with the Thunderbolts issues.

Two more Deadpool related notes: in anticipation of Pool's big screen debut in Wolverine: Origins, Marvel is starting to grind out a pretty respectable amount of spinoff and one-shots for Pool. And I still don't know if I'm going to front the money for any of them, although some of them could be perfectly fine. Just not sure yet.

Also, Deadpool gets a new figure in the Wolverine: Origins line. There will doubtless be a crappity movie one, but there's a sharp looking comic one in the three-and-three/quarter inch scale. Check out this link from MWC Toys and see for yourself, since I don't think I'm going to drop $8.44 at Wal-Mart for it. If I see it cheaper, maybe. But until then...

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Timing, part thirty-five.

And, that's how I'd get both Nick Fury's into the regular Marvel Universe. Why not? The Ultimate universe appears to be crashing and burning (with the possible exception of Ultimate Spider-Man, but even that appears to be getting relaunched soon) and it seems dumb to leave Fury-2 (the Samuel Jackson model) in the Squadron Supreme universe, since I don't see that being published much longer either.

Dr. Strange may appear shorter than some of the other characters here, but that's because of his cloak of levitation, which is putting a lot of load on the figure's knees: if this representation was accurate, the cloak would be made of the thickest wool known to man, and weigh about a metric ton non-levitating. That would explain why Strange is so often able to mystically throw it into someone's face and distract them, though.

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Your Happenstance panel for today:

Ah, but it's a big panel, a page and a half from The Atom Special #1, "Shrinking from the Past" Written by Tom Peyer, art by Steve Dillon, of Preacher and Punisher fame.

Ray Palmer isn't doing well: his old friend Professor Hyatt has a ticking clock face stuck to his own face, the usual suspect Chronos is comatose, and Ray himself is tripping something fierce. He's been having visions of those he's lost: Laethwen, his tiny alien girlfriend; Adam Cray, his replacement that was killed in Suicide Squad; and his own father. Oh, and as a bonus, Ray keeps seeing his wife Jean Loring at the moment he first saw her cheat on him. The Atom's just about ready to give up and check out of society...when his friend Norm walks in and sees the visions too. Kind of tough to gaslight someone when there's witnesses, but I love the term "gaslight" as a verb.

Good stuff, even if it's lessened by the fact that years later, Ray finally would shrink himself out of our world, for a couple years after Identity Crisis.

The real world's intruded on blog time a bit this week, but we should be a bit more back on track next week. Might even get to see Watchmen and do my part to save future mature-themed comic book movies, as is apparently my sworn duty that I don't remember swearing to...
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Timing, part thirty-four.

Dr. Strange's mentor, the Ancient One, was like a thousand years old when he started training Strange. Did AO have any pupils prior to Strange and Baron Mordo, that maybe didn't achieve the rank of Sorceror Supreme? Or did he wait until he was ancient before he even thought about training a replacement?

Strange, then, is the product and caretaker of centuries, if not millenia, of mystic arcana, training, and belief. Cable, even without Sorceror Supreme on his resume, could be seen as the end of that line, since in his future there aren't any mystical beings. I'm not even slightly religious, but you have to figure anyone of any faith would have a hard time with the notion that their faith could be completely forgotten in the future. It's even worse than that for Strange: he was also defending the earth, if not the universe, from any number of horrible extradimensional things. If the post of Sorceror Supreme was vacant, Dormammu or worse could move right in.

So, you can see why Stephen might be a little emotional. But, it's kind of his fault; he really needs to get to training an apprentice or two. Good luck doing that in a manner that doesn't immediately reek of "Barry Lotter." Read more!

Hey, Optimus Prime?

Is it OK if I take the day off today?

Thanks, you're a peach.

Out of the office today, but nowhere near as fun as that sounds, sorry. New Timing Thursday, though, and hope your day ran a bit more productive than mine.

Page from Transformers: Generation Two #6, "Tales of Earth, part three" Written by Simon Furman, art by Derek Yaniger. Flint and Hawk of G.I. Joe guest-star, and are kind of umimpressed even before Optimus delivers a rather poor showing. Can't knock it out of the park every time, guys.

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Trying to give credit where its due. Maybe.

It's late, I'm tired, I worked overtime, the Oldest has got pinkeye for like the fifth time, and I wanna watch 24. But are we going to dog it out and skip a day? No! Not today, anyway.

I don't know if other comics bloggers hit this wall, but sometimes, when trying to mine a vein of old issues for comedy, I might hit something or have an idea that seems good, but might have been done before. Maybe it's talking about a specific character or issue or scene, or maybe it's a joke that seems funny, but you might have heard before. For example: the cover to Conan the Barbarian #108, I believe by John Buscema and Ernie Chan, the interior art team. Read the blonde's word balloon:

Yes, if only there was something Conan could drop, in order to run faster? I wouldn't be too disparaging of Conan in that situation...

A silly joke, but even though I went with it anyway, I had a vague notion that I had seen that bit somewhere before. Bully? Sims? Perhaps an old issue of Wizard, when they had enough staff to be funny? (Too soon?) I poked around on Ask Cerebra for a bit and still didn't find it, so why not? If anyone has made that joke before, please let me know, and I'd appreciate not feeling senile today.

In the same neck of the woods: I was flipping through the old Red Tornado limited the other day: art by Carmine Infantino, who I knew from Star Wars comics long before I read the Flash, and story by Kurt Busiek, who has gone on to a ton of stuff I've liked. I was going to run the little one-page origin recap of Reddy, since I felt I owed him for giving the poor android slightly less crap than I give Hawkman, or slightly more than Aquaman, to see how the pecking order runs...

Inks by Frank McLaughlin, from Red Tornado #1. Not a bad little series, with some amusing sequences of the Justice League of America, in particular Superman, being utter assholes. For some reason, this is one of maybe half a dozen or more DC mini's that I have three out of four issues of: the Demon (with Matt Wagner), Steve Gerber and Gene Colan's Phantom Zone, Mark Waid's Metamorpho...shoot, I know there's more floating around here somewhere...

Anyway, directly opposite of the above page in his own comic, they still ran Red Tornado's house ad, which wasn't too bad:

Which reminded me of something else, that may or may not have occurred to me before someone else brought it up: in the first series of DC Universe Classics figures, Metamorpho was the "Collect & Connect" build-a-figure, and Red Tornado one of those to be collected. How cool would it have been to get a disassemble-and-reassemble Red Tornado? It would've been a surprisingly comic-accurate action feature, and completely unobtrusive!

I think someone, probably on the message boards, beat me to that idea, although I couldn't say who or where. And it's entirely possible there's a completely reasonable reason why not, too. (It might not cost out compared to Metamorpho, it's too difficult to include the cape in a build-a-figure, it would turn the entire RT figure into a choking hazard...)

So, now I've got an entire post that may or may not be unintentionally plagarized. Huh. On the other hand, I've got a post with Conan and Red Tornado. And at the end of the day, that's something.
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Timing, part thirty-three.

Cable is back! Does this mean "Timing" is nearing an end? You'd think so, but...well, I think we're closer to the end than the beginning, anyway.

I wanted to have a sound effect for Dr. Strange's entrance, but didn't want it to just be "POOF!" And I don't know if Strange should be teleporting in like a Vegas act. There was a long stretch where Strange was every Marvel hero's "on-call" for weird crap. Powers not working? Call Dr. Strange! Teammate turned into a vampire? Call Dr. Strange! Hearing weird voices in your head? Hey, who else are you going to see? That quack Doc Samson? Shaman? As if!

...and now that I've brought it up, maybe I should try to find some. Hell. More on Strange and Cable next time!

Oh, and by the way, um, Strange Tales #169 doesn't exist. Not really, anyway: the title switched over to Dr. Strange there, although I don't think he kept that numbering for long. Read more!

Per Blog Law, here's the obligatory Watchmen post:

Sort of...click to hype-size!





While it's common knowledge amongst comic fans that the Watchmen were at least initially based on the Charlton heroes acquired by DC, I had it in my head that Silk Spectre was based on Charlton's Nightshade, about the only female hero in their roster. Guess she wasn't, or she was more based on characters like Phantom Lady. Whom I just happen to have an action figure of...(From the Beat, a link to a good piece on Charlton's history here)

It also occurs to me that while Blue Beetle seems like everyone's favorite, Captain Atom had a longer run at DC, fifty-seven issues. It would take two BB series to beat that.

Man, I can't wait for the DCUC Blue Beetle, but a new Question would be great. The color scheme, hat-mask, and limited articulation make the DC Direct version a little out of date. The trenchcoat seemed like a good idea at first, but the collar is too thick to fold down and blocked Vic's face. What there is of it, anyway. At any rate, take a moment before heading off to the Watchmen movie to remember not only the work of Alan Moore and Dave Gibbons, but the work and the characters that may have inspired them, at least a little.

OK, that's long enough.

(Pool, looking around, Kurt with paper.)
POOL: Weren't we doing something else a second ago?
KURT: I don't know. Between the drinking, and not paying attention to you, I black out most of my days now...

POOL: That isn't good.
KURT: Beats the hell out of having flashbacks all day.
POOL: Touche.

KURT: Anyway, I was gonna go see a movie. You can come, if you aren't one of those people who talks to the movie...
POOL: Can I put M&M's in the popcorn?

KURT: Fine, whatever. Let's see...Well, I guess it's Watchmen or nothing this week...

(Captain Atom, Blue Beetle, the Question, and Phantom Lady smash in.)
TOGETHER: NO ONE SHOULD WATCH THE WATCHMEN!!
KURT: Sonuva!
POOL: AHH!

(Kurt, to Beetle, Cap)
KURT: What the hell is this!?
BB: We're getting the word out to boycott the movie Watchmen!
CAP: It's shameful, the way Hollywood has desecrated the artistic vision of Alan Moore!

KURT: And you're doing this door-to-door?
BB: Hey, we're super-heroes. We have to do things big. What, did you think we were going to blog about it or something?

(Pool, to Question, PL.)
POOL: Hey, there's something familiar about you guys.
QUESTION: Hurm. No, there isn't.

(Question, snaps Pool's finger.)
POOL: No, seriously, I thought I'd seen you guys--OW!
QUESTION: No, you didn't. Rude to point.

POOL: Asshat! You broke my finger!
KURT: You'll heal. Wait--Beetle, Captain Atom, Question--you're the Charlton Heroes! Watchmen was going to be based on you!

BB: That's right! And if Beardy McBrit hadn't queered the deal, that movie would be about us! Licensing, action figures, happy meals! Big bags of cash and international recognition, ####ed right in the ###, for "art"!
CA: Yeah! It could be me up there on that screen, exposing my junk to millions!

(Everyone stares at Captain Atom.)

CA: I mean...cash! Alan Moore dicked us over!

KURT: Look, that's a tough break and all, but it's more than likely Watchmen wouldn't have been, you know, WATCHMEN, if Moore had tried to do it with Peacemaker.

POOL: That's right, Kurt. And just as the movie doesn't take away anything from the book, the book and the Charlton characters are separate entities as well. Regardless of your influence on Watchmen, or vice versa, you are what you are, that is, colossal losers.

(Question breaks another finger.)
QUESTION: HURM. A=A, you=dick.
POOL: OW! Hey, aren't you supposed to be a girl now! And why are you talking like that?

(Question breaks another.)
QUESTION: HURM. AHURM. HKKKK! Oh, man. I've had a cold for weeks. And there's nothing grosser then trying to spit in this mask.

BB: I...I guess we'll just have to face facts: we're never going to be household names. But we can take comfort in the fact that in some small way, we helped inspire one of the greatest graphic novels of all time, and a major work of the last half of the twentieth century.

(Question breaks pool's finger again!)
POOL: Of course, they could never do a sequel to Watchmen, but you guys are still available--GODDAMNIT! I'm helping you now! That one just healed!
CA: Question, no! He's right! Even if we're seen as the knockoffs, we could still get a project!

(BB, CA, Question celebrating.)
BB: Woo! Hollywood!
CA: Yes! Goodbye pants!
QUESTION: Straight to DVD, here we come!

KURT: Great. Nice job, Wade. The sad thing is, it'll probably work.
POOL: Ah, don't be such a bringdown. If it gets them some work, more power to them. What I wanna know is, what you're doing with them...rrrrowr!

(PL snaps Pool's finger!)
POOL: Ouchie!
PL: Yeah, not even if you looked like Ryan Reynolds under there, which I know you don't.
KURT: No, he's right. I thought Silk Spectre was based on Nightshade...

PL: Maybe, but probably not. Still, it's hang out with these losers, or the Freedom Fighters.

KURT: Yow. Wanna go see Watchmen?
PL: Why not. Do you want Junior Mints or Hot Tamales?
KURT: Your choice, as long as you keep breaking Pool's fingers...
POOL: Hey!
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Arrrrroooo, from the mooooon!

Over at Comics Oughta Be Fun, Bully's got Arrrooo From You going, which is like an archive of classic comic book howls. See a werewolf, and you'll see an Arrrooo before too long.

See? Just a matter of time now. From Scud, the Disposable Assassin #11, "Neutron Dance: Dimension of Blood, part 2" Written by Mondy Carter and Rob Schrab, "produced" by Peter J. Alberts, "directed" by Rob Schrab.

This issue, in addition to the usual insanity, there's Scud with a werewolf's arm, a werewolf with Scud's arm that evolves into a black hole, the utter(ly unimportant) destruction of the planet Venus, and a spirited discussion about what kind of robot Scud is, as in, not a very good one.

Sweet Magilla Gorilla, I wish this book was on like issue #315 by now. But enough preamble, the AAAARRROOO!

It might not be appropriate for everyone (or little stuffed bulls sometimes!) and it may seem nonsensical to some; but I miss this book, and it's anything-goes feel. Scud has been collected now, and I might have to do another giveaway (after I mail out the last one...) of some dupes sometime. And thanks for reminding me of this one, Bully!

Tomorrow: who wanted Watchmen to be a movie even less than Alan Moore?
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Oh, most people would do a week of vampire books in October, but I pick March. Whatever.

From Badger #44, "Blood Sucker, part two" Written by Mike Baron, pencils by Ron Lim, inks by Paul Abrams. I don't have part one, but suffice it to say, Badger, his boss the druid Ham, and pig vampire hunter Senator Bob Kasten fight vampires. Yeah, the Senator is an honest-to-goodness pig, which may be a commentary on a political figure, but also a vampire hunter, and he has a wooden leg, as part of the punchline to a terrible joke, but also because it's handy for a vampire hunter...

Anyway, I don't know if this had became the huge cliche that it eventually would, but Count Victor Velitnikoff mentions that Dracula died in 1978, and now he was king of the vampires. In a lot of vampire fiction, it became the standard for Dracula to either be a myth, misinformation perpetrated by Bram Stoker; or dead, making way for the writer's super-bad new and modern take on vampires.

In the same vein (boo!) later in the issue, Badger tries out holy water in a "battery-operated squirt Uzi," which I remember from 1989 or so; they never worked as well as you'd hope. Victor laughs it off: "I'm a new wave vampire! Do you think a priest praying over a glass of water is going to affect me!"

Victor turns out to be in Madison, Wisconsin; since he's after Badger's therapist, Daisy; since she's still a virgin. (It's not that uncommon, is it? Well, maybe...) While Badger, Ham, and the Senator hunt for Victor, he's putting the moves on Daisy, which goes pretty well until he bites her.

When Badger and Ham show up to rescue Daisy, Ham accidentally turns Daisy into a frog, and is subsequently overcome with grief; leaving Badger to fight Victor on his own. Although in Blade and Buffy we would see vampires exhibit all kinds of martial arts skills, Baron may be one of the first to have a vamp actually mention training:

As a book, Badger could be either pretty straight-faced, or a bit more broad and satirical, depending on how Baron wanted to play it. This is one of the more "funny" issues, and not every bit hits, but more hit than miss for me.
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Timing, part thirty-two.

Three guesses who Kurt's calling in, although you should be able to get it in one. Speaking of one, only one page today because that's where the end fell. Read more!

Geez, and I thought Batman was the king of reckless endangerment:

So, the other day at MightyGodKing the Thursday Who's Who feature featured the War Wheel, a giant Nazi war machine that appeared in Blackhawk. (And possibly an episode of Justice League.) Because I had it next to my desk, I flipped through John Byrne's Batman/Captain America, since I thought Cap, Bucky, and Sgt. Rock and Easy Company fought a War Wheel. Instead, it was merely a several-story tall giant tank thing, which I'm not gonna scan since it's a pain to fit prestige-format books into the scanner. Instead, we've got this panel:

Captain America is about to jump, without a parachute, from one plane to another. And he advises Bucky that if he misses, Bucky should give it a shot. As the kids back then said, "Nuts to that." Of course, they only said that if they were too polite to say "No goddamn way!" If Cap can't do it, it doesn't seem fair to expect a teenage boy to do it, even in time of war.

Then again, as we've seen in Brubaker's Captain America, even before becoming the Winter Soldier, Bucky wasn't an ordinary boy, was he? He was a badass special-ops soldier even then! So...the retcon actually makes sense here! How often does that happen?

Yeah, I really liked this one. Afraid you'll have to pick it up yourself to see more, though.

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On Dracula, Lord of the Undead:

In his recent appearance in Captain Britain and MI13 #10, Marvel's Dracula had a meeting with Dr. Doom, a castle on the moon, and blood-rocket launched vampire cannons. (You won't see the cannons, but check out the preview from Comic Book Resources!) So anything from this series is going to be a letdown now, but let's glance at his last series, Dracula, Lord of the Undead. Written by Glenn Greenberg, pencils by Pat Oliffe, inks by Tom Palmer. Palmer was the inker on the old Tomb of Dracula, a little link to the past there.

Dracula returns to his castle in Transylvania to discover it's been ransacked. Well, duh. Seems like a pretty tempting target for looters, but there's something more to this.

More after the bump!


While Dracula investigates with his human and vampire servants; Dr. Charles Seward, descendant of Dr. John Seward from Stroker's Dracula, has been working on if not a cure for vampirism, a solution. His serum is designed to render vampires unable to drink blood, so they'll starve. Good idea, bad execution: it causes a plague, that can be spread from person to person. Seward, now compelled into action by his mysterious employer, knows something isn't right but can't act.


Dracula tracks down his stolen possessions--including a portrait of his wife Maria--to an auction house in London. He busts in and hypnotizes the seller into cancelling the auction, but it's a pretty brassy entrance: apparently, every vampire hunter in the Marvel U. was on vacation that week, or they didn't get the email for "Dracula auction." Frankly, you'd expect at least a lot of gawkers, press, goth wannabes: maybe it was a private thing.

Although he's able to make the seller return his things (at her expense, Dracula stresses, although it might not be a great idea to return them where they were stolen in the first place) she didn't know who sold them to her. Increasingly furious, he leaves the auction house, and is promptly shot with a crossbow arrow. Even at bat size, the arrow didn't hit his heart, and Drac catches the shooter, who snaps his own neck rather than talk.

Dr. Seward, thinking his anti-vampire research to be at an end, gets to enjoy the start of dinner with his family before seeing the TV report on a plague and quarantine of the small town of Littlepool. Seward realizes this was probably his fault, as he watches a rescue worker, presumably panicked and delirious, break quarantine and infects a bunch of people. This is a great argument for cops having guns, right there. Seward calls his boss, then has to leave his family once again.


Searching for a snack, Dracula passes over Littlepool, and is curious about the fenced-off city, corpses, etc. Not that he cares in any fashion about the people, except that it's messing with his dinner. While he's looking, the vampire that Seward experimented on tries to fill in his master, but dies and disintegrates once he finally gets Drac to listen to him.

Drac then finds Seward, who has already discovered he's immune to the plague since he made it with some of his own blood, and they discuss the virus. Drac's a little irritated that Seward recognizes him--most people in the Marvel U. still consider Dracula fiction--and points out that he's recently ended the Harker and Van Helsing families. Perhaps sensitive, Seward answers that he thought Dracula was younger-looking, and Drac realizes he's not just hungry, he's aging. He quickly jumps to some conclusions: he was infected by the arrow the other day, and Seward is the mastermind of this whole plot against him. Seward rolls over on his boss immediately, although I wouldn't necessarily feel any loyalty to a boss that hypnotized me, either.

Dracula and Seward return to the lab, and the mysterious employer is revealed to be Lilith, Dracula's daughter. They aren't close.

Lilith's mentioned in passing in the first issue: Drac's first marriage was an arranged one that did not go well, and Drac hated his wife and daughter, later kicking them out so he could marry Maria. Later, the wife killed herself and left Lilith with a gypsy. The gypsy's son was later killed by Dracula, and so she set up a rather elaborate curse where Lilith became her father's eternal adversary. Not a great deal: even though she'd rather not, Lilith keeps returning from the dead every time her dad does; and per the curse she can't kill Drac directly. So, her plan to fund Dr. Seward's kill-all-vampires virus. To her credit, Lilith is at least a little concerned about humans being infected--I had suspected she might not care as long as it gets Dracula--but Seward isn't having it, and breaks from her control, attacking with a syringe of the virus. Defending herself, Lilith accidentally snaps Seward's neck.

Dracula and Lilith punch it out for a bit, but Dracula weakens quickly. He manages to stake Lilith to the wall, just enough to hold her, and then has to stoop to drinking the blood from Seward's corpse. I know in some vampire mythos, that's bad, here it's just embarrassing; but Dracula hopes the blood will cure him, and it does eventually. In short order, Drac blows up the lab and the virus samples (and possibly Lilith), then flies to Littlepool. Summoning all his remaining power, Dracula controls the weather, creating a thunderstorm and flood to wipe the town, and the plague, off the map. (Yeah, Marvel Dracula can do that, although you don't see it very often.)

Lilith gives Dracula a final taunting, that this battle has proven that Dracula isn't invulnerable. For Drac's part, he doesn't bother to finish Lilith--she would just come back anyway--and returns to his now-refurnished castle for a drink.

Not a terrible little series, although as they say, your mileage may vary. I like Marvel Dracula, but (in this series, anyway) no one seems to point out that he really looks like a Dracula. Even if the general existence of vampires isn't well known, most people would be at least aware of, if not outright mocking of, the guy running around dressed like Count Chocula. Like the Curse version we saw the other day, MU Drac is also supposed to be a sexy beast...um, if you say so. Ladies, he doing anything for you?

I'm also not sure when the shift in other vampires happened either: previously, Dracula's victims remained relatively human-looking, until the fangs came out, like old Hammer Horror movie vamps. Now, other vamps were ugly, scabby grave-dwellers. Weird.

By the way, on the Bullpen Bulletins page of the third issue, Stan Lee answers my question in his Soapbox! Yeah, that'll make this a collector's item now...
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Barry Allen, back on duty:

This was a quick one I knocked out to celebrate getting the new DCUC Flash. I need to get back to a lightbox setup, though, since the red plastic reflects light something fierce; and I encourage you to check out real review sites for better pictures, I know I will.

It was tough trying to write Barry, though; I don't think I'd ever tried him before. He's a bit of a straight arrow, and he lacks Wally's predominant traits of womanizer (at least, before Wally got married) who tries too hard to live up to his predecessor. Barry didn't have to struggle to live up to Golden-age Flash Jay Garrick's example; partly because Jay was on Earth-2 in most of those issues, but mostly because Barry outshone Jay on a technical level almost from the start. Even though his powers are almost godlike, Barry's still just a guy, and an almost-quiet one at that. He'd definitely be the straight man in any sort of JLA setup, though.

Getting Wonder Woman to hug Barry, without it looking inappropriate, wasn't a picnic. But I figure she would, I think Diana liked Barry a lot, as a guy friend. Barry was married, or as good as, to Iris pretty much from the time Diana met him; which would probably make him more comfortable around her than some of the single guys. Maybe.

Green Lantern as a young Ted Danson? God, I hope not. And Hal gets the jerkiest lines in this one partly because he can be a bit inconsiderate, but also because of positioning. And Firestorm: you're not in the JLA because you're overpowered, your powers require a vague knowledge of chemistry and physics to write, and Alex Ross hates you. (I think Ross considers Firestorm's joining the team the cutoff point of when he stopped reading Justice League of America.)

Red Tornado explodes. It's what he does.


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The Best Laid Plans...

Yesterday I went to bed after 24, since I have to get up at the crack of early. But before I fell asleep, I had an idea for a new homemade comic, featuring a History Channel-style documentary on the legend of DC's Unknown Soldier. I don't have a ton of Unknown Soldier comics, but I loved it as a kid, and have the last issue of the series, the last issue of the Jim Owlsey/Priest miniseries from the 80's, and of course the Garth Ennis Vertigo series. (Haven't tried the newest one, yet, though.)

So I've had a big US post in mind for ever, and thought I could do a comic with Captain America commenting on encountering the Soldier multiple times, and why Cap figured the Soldier probably hated his guts. (Not the reason you might think!) Then "re-enactment" footage of the Soldier, and commentary from Enemy Ace, Sgt. Rock, Blackhawk, Hellboy, and the original Human Torch. (Why those last two? They and the Soldier have something in common...)

The main problem? Well, DC Direct never made an Unknown Soldier figure! (I love the bandaged-head Claude Rains look, from Negative Man to Darkman. Except Hush.) OK, I might be able to work around that with some masking tape and an exacto knife...now I just need, um, a Major Maxim action figure from McFarlane's Danger Girl series, Marvel Legends for the Red Skull and Baron Zemo...I might as well wish for in ML-scale German Soldiers, or Hitler's Brain in a jar, since I don't see this one budgeting out. Hell.

So, it's less "Best Laid Plans" and more like a half-baked idea before I fell asleep. I was so excited I had to get out of bed to write it down, though, so I may have to keep that one on file, and get that Unknown Soldier post out someday. New homemade strip later this afternoon, with sadly, no WWII vets. Oh, well.
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On Curse of Dracula:

I re-read Curse of Dracula last week, and was wondering to myself why it didn't click; with me, or the general comic-buying public. It's got a strong bloodline, as it were: Marv Wolfman and Gene Colan, two-thirds of the creative team for the classic Marvel Tomb of Dracula. Wolfman points out on the letters page that he took over Tomb at issue #7, so Curse was his chance to create his own version of Bram Stoker's character; with less of the movie cliches, and without the supporting cast he inherited at Marvel. But, as they say, it's tough to catch lightning in a bottle twice.

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Most of the focus is on the vampire hunters, but they aren't immediately memorable, likable, or entertaining, especially if you're accustomed to crews like Buffy's or Blade's. There's no wise-cracking tension breaker, no sassy girl, not even the gruff badass. Wait, they're all gruff badasses. These hunters are all broken, damaged adults, working a job that will eventually kill them. If they're lucky. The most memorable was named Hiroshima, a half-turned blind girl who picked up bat sonar from her attack; but with a name like Hiroshima you can tell it's not a person who is concerned about being liked.

The vampires, though, look great, although I think Colan may have swiped a little of their design from a story he did for Marvel Comics Presents. That's fine, I like it.

The vamps are less human than they were in Tomb; bucking the trend, these are loathsome things, monsters; not prettyboy goth kids. I prefer ugly, shapechanging fiends to the more modern vampire that might as well be a superhero with a pasty complexion. Even though they can talk and turn into bats, the rank-and-file vampire might as well be a zombie, slavishly devoted to their master.

Dracula, for his part, doesn't seem to mind his ugly, ugly disciples--in Tomb he often tended to be contemptuous of his minions. This Dracula doesn't seem to have the same brooding, self-loathing, tormented nature, either, but why should he? He's consolidating his power, he's got the vampire hunters as pawns in his larger game, and most no one seems to notice that Drac's apparently well over six feet tall, chalk-white, with pointy ears; because he's dead sexy. Curse Dracula finishes this one with a clear win, something Tomb Drac rarely received: usually, if he won it was by escaping, or even in victory he lost something or sacrificed honor.

Wolfman and Colan never returned to this Dracula, either because of sales or other projects. It probably didn't help that Dark Horse themselves had a Buffy the Vampire Slayer comic at the same time, and the last third of the old Tomb of Dracula crew, inker Tom Palmer, was on board for a Marvel three-issue mini that I think was around the same time...I fished both out of the quarter boxes, so I could be wrong on that, but we'll see if I can find it sometime. OK, like tomorrow. Sorry, I thought it would take me longer to dig up. The first issue of Curse was dated July 1998, and Marvel's Dracula: Lord of the Vampires was dated December 1998.
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Eleven random line items:

1. God, Race to Witch Mountain looks terrible. And not just in the sense that I'm not the target audience for it, it looks just...shabby. I've never been a big fan of the Rock, or Dwayne Johnson, or whatever, but his smarmy, smug act promoting it isn't helping either. (The ads for the Kids' Choice Awards are particularly painful, and my boys watch a lot of Nick.)

2. OK, I'm looking forward to Watchmen. One of the main complaints I've seen about the movie is that by focusing on the whodunit or the action-adventure aspects of the graphic novel is to completely miss the symbolism, and possibly the point, of what Alan Moore was going for. That remains to be seen, but if Watchmen was supposed to work on all those levels, can't it work on just a couple? Nobody's forcing you to get the symbolism...the weird part is, I had that same problem with Identity Crisis: I thought it was supposed to be a murder mystery, and in the last issue it becomes apparent that the murder is only the hook, and who did it is only an afterthought. So, maybe an Identity Crisis movie would be a goddamn improvement...

3. I've bought Watchmen twice over the years, but have lost it both times. I had a copy of issue #8 (I think) but haven't seen that around lately either.

4. Even though I want to like them, it's so easy to hate the Sci-Fi Channel. I only got to start watching Battlestar Galactica again when the end was in sight, and while it's great and I'm looking forward to the end; I have a hard time imagining what Sci-Fi's gonna have to replace it. I am never, ever going to watch any version of Ghost Hunters, and that video game psuedo-reality show looks like the worst kind of crap: where are the fat kids? And it's great to feature girl gamers, but there's no crying in videogames!

And the made for the channel movies get on my nerves, too. Step 1: Film it in the cheapest location you can find, i.e. Canada, regardless of where your movie's allegedly set. Step 2: Get an old copy of the Dungeons & Dragons Monster Manual, flip it open to a random page, and voila! There's half your movie right there! Manticore, Basilisk, and Wyvern have all been used lately. I'm waiting for Gelatinous Cube, the movie. Step 3: Cast a bunch of unknowns and maybe one C-lister that needs to make a boat payment or is late on their taxes or something. Step 4: Use the same computer-generated effects that the rest of these movies do, including a blood effect that manages to look far less real than throwing a bucket of dyed Karo syrup. But it's expensive, so it must be good! I think I'm just pissed that this is the first time in years I've had Sci-Fi, and apparently running this cheapo little homemade films is more cost effective and better ratings then rerunning old, cancelled shows. (I liked Splinter, though, and I make no apologies for liking some crap and hating other crap.)

5. Apparently, the demographics for the Sci-Fi channel also suggest that if you're watching the channel, you need Lectric Shave (maybe!) and you're alone and unloved. If I never had to see an ad for Match.com again..."I'm just a goof, looking for my ball." What does that even mean!? Is that code for something?

6. I don't listen to a lot of music lately, but the one song I've heard recently that I couldn't get enough of? "Murder Train a'Comin'" by Dethklok. I stumbled into Metalocalypse pretty late, and while I'm not a huge death metal fan, it reminds me of friends who were. I need to download it, but that would involve some horrible process involving ITunes, for one song. (It was a bonus track on the deluxe version of their album.)

7. Oh, let's have a scan of this one:

Yeah, I've lost Watchmen twice, but still have this? That seems fair. But it's interesting as a historical artifact, this issue of Comics Scene from 1990, back when anime was still Japanimation, and comics coverage was still broad enough to include Grant Morrison and Bill Sienkiewicz, the live action Captain America, and Betty Boop. Also, there's two pages of listings in the back, of comic characters and properties being adapted to other media, like movies or TV. Well, allegedly adapted. Many of these would never happen, like the Sally Forth sitcom, or a Spider-Man movie scheduled for Christmas 1990. Let's just run that list, and you can check off the ones that you wanted made (or unmade!) yourself, and you can count your blessings a lot of these didn't happen in the 90's.



There were a couple there I'm not sure were even close: did Howard Chaykin have anything to do with the Judge Dredd movie? And Joel Schumaker didn't direct The Phantom, did he? Actually, neither of those may have hurt, in the long run...

8. For good measure, here's a photo from that issue, of Alan Moore and Bill Sienkiewicz, promoting the never-completed Big Numbers. I still have that floating around here somewhere.

Interestingly, I'd often wondered why Sienkiewicz still does inking work, and he answered that in this interview: "Inking is simply a motor function...(I)nking was like watching grandmother sit and crochet on a moving train. I really wanted to do something that required no thought, go on auto-pilot, to recharge my batteries." And now I know!

9. Caught the recent Dr. Strange cartoon on Cartoon Network the other day. Not bad, certainly better than the Iron Man one. Even though I would just as soon they not run things like Ace Ventura, Jr., Cartoon Network has been keeping me up on a lot of those direct-to-DVD movies: Justice League: New Frontier and Batman: Gotham Knight were both on almost immediately after I bought them...

10. This may sound like hyperbole, but I would rather you cut me, than watch, hear about, or see mentioned again, Celebrity Apprentice. Cutting me would be more memorable for everyone involved.

11. Twice daily posts here, at least until Friday this week! See you then.

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Timing, part thirty-one.

Nick--the "regular" Nick--has been at that strip club a long, long time. Our "dancer" today is an old Star Sapphire figure, somewhat ironically, the one I used shows way less skin than the newer version. Shoot. I just realized I forgot a line where Nick invites Frank down to the strip club, and he tries to sell the idea that there's probably somebody there for Frank to shoot.

We aren't done with Duck vs. Monkey yet though, either, and more guest-stars are coming! Read more!