More Captain America...further down the page!

It's pretty traditional, and cliche, for comic book fans to complain about how much better comics were when they were kids. Sure, but I can't be the only one a little dismayed that more readers are probably used to Wolverine being in every third Marvel book, rather than a time where his appearances were fewer and farther between...and not completely played out. From Captain America Annual #8, "Tess-One" Written by Mark Gruenwald, pencils by Mike Zeck, inks by John Beatty.

An extraordinarily disgruntled-looking Logan is trying to have a nice beer at a friendly little dive, but the joint is being torn up by the locals attacking a large, simple bald man. While the patrons seem to think he's a mutant, Bob Frank (as he calls himself) claims to be "normal now." The name familiar to him, Logan sets out to follow Bob; he was the son of the Whizzer and had been a radioactive menace called Nuklo at one point.

Outside the bar, though, Bob is attacked by a robot and nearly killed. Wolverine attacks the robot, but it flies off, joined by a man on a flying platform. Wolvie considers pursuit, but decides to take Bob to the hospital first.

Meanwhile, Captain America investigates a cave-in outside a burger place off I-94, which leads to a mysterious underground boiler room. A boiler room that had been sealed for years, and guarded by gas, spikes, and machine guns. Elsewhere, the man with the robot introduces himself to a trucker, as Overrider, and hijacks the truck to take the robot, Tess-1, to the Adametco Metullurgy Company. Storming the factory, Overrider forces workers to coat the robot in adamantium.

Cap follows a tip to his national hotline to the factory; while Wolverine...follows his nose, I guess, finding a crate the robot tossed out of the truck to make room for itself. The two run into each other outside; and since Magneto was leading the X-Men at the time (around Uncanny X-Men #200 or so) Cap isn't thrilled to see him. Wolvie is just as unenthused to hear Cap's speechifying, and they throw down for a few minutes before Tess-1 smashes down a wall on his way out.

Overrider recognizes both Cap and Wolvie; somewhat interestingly, since Wolverine wasn't a very public figure at the time. He's also having trouble regaining control of Tess-1, since the robot's primary target is right there. Still, Overrider does get control, and they take off. Cap and Wolvie grudgingly decide to work together.

Later that day, in his civilian identity, Overrider visits a children's psychiatric facility, and his son. Suffering from "nuclear psychosis," an overwhelming fear of possible atomic war, his son completely disassociated from reality; so Overrider is trying to get rid of the bombs and bring him back. Meanwhile, Cap and Wolverine do their homework: Overrider was a mutant, and Wolvie finds him in Cerebro's files; while Cap finds government records showing Tess as an anagram: Total Elimination of Super-Soldiers. The program was a contingency to keep an army of Super-Soldiers from taking power themselves, but was mothballed since Cap was the only one.

As Overrider heads for the nuclear command center in Hadley, Nebraska (no NORAD in the Marvel Universe?) Cap gets another tip on his hotline, and he and Wolverine get there as Tess-1 is tearing up the place...as a diversion. Working together, they get the robot on it's back, and Wolvie gets his claws into the robot's neck, but Cap has to pound Wolverine's hands to drive them in. Inside, Overrider plans to launch all of America's nukes and bury them in the ocean, without detonating them. Cap knocks Overrider off his hovercraft, and Wolverine moves to "catch" him. Claws first. But instead, he decides to 'miss,' letting Overrider slam into the floor. Cap is less than thrilled.

I had to go back for a scan of him, but Overrider seemed to bear at least a passing resemblance to his creator and longtime Captain America writer Mark Gruenwald. I don't think Overrider appeared again--he was mostly a sympathetic villain, and I don't think attacking Bob Frank was his idea--but I know Tess-One would show up a time or two as a robot jobber. Also, if you have a hankering for this issue, there's a Marvel Universe Wolverine/Captain America two-pack available with an edited version of this issue: the Captain America comes with a scratched-up shield!

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Another Captain America rerun: "Glorious Nice Guy."

The Red Skull, both Baron Zemos, Baron Strucker...Marvel has a pretty good track record of scarifying Nazis too, eh?

As usual, I enjoyed the hell out of Tarentino's latest: Basterds probably won't supplant the first Kill Bill as my favorite of his films, but it's a good one. It's funny: I don't know if I'd ever want to meet Tarentino, for fear of having a bad experience that might put me off his work (maybe he's friendly and swell, but just in case); but I would love to steal his iPod. If he has one, it has to be jam-packed with the coolest songs you've either never heard of, somehow forgotten, or wouldn't have thought to use in that context.

If you don't like Tarentino films, though, let me know in the comments; because I have a blind spot to it. Inglourious Basterds was crazy fun, full of surprises and twists, and it's like three hours long! When I go to the theatres, I don't want to be in-and-out under two hours. I usually get there early for the terrible premovie stuff, of things I have no desire to ever see: there was only one chap in the theatre when I arrived, and I was almost hoping no one else would show. Reminded me of a scene from Preacher, that I was going to look up before this idea came to mind.

The German Soldier is from last year's Indiana Jones line, and not bad, but if you buy one, you kind of need more, right? Unless he's just going to be tied up and beaten...he was purchased specifically for this strip, but I was lucky enough to get him clearanced a bit. (There is a certain chain in my town, that has both the Indiana Jones and 3.75 inch Star Trek figures; pegs of them, still at full price. They aren't going anywhere, if I get a burning need to pay too much for one...) The little artifact the soldier came with, in the little crate he's sitting on in the strip, was a Sankara stone from Temple of Doom. A badly carved, and oversized Sankara stone. If you build a squad of Germans, you're going to be stuck with a mess of those.

Captain America was part of a Secret Wars two-pack with Klaw. Man, I am never gonna come up with a strip for Klaw, but I really wanted Cap and missed the Marvel Universe version the first time. (Here's a rule of thumb for me, OK? If I can get a Nightcrawler figure in a line, either right up front or relatively soon, I'll probably start collecting it. If it doesn't look like he's going to, I very well may skip it. Like the prior smaller-scale Superhero Showdown line.) Cap's not bad, but I am surprisingly being a stickler about the mask and belt, neither of which are quite on-model with his look from that time period, because they're using the mold for a more Ultimates style version.

I did another strip for Cap, that probably won't be posted until October now, but I used putty to hold Cap's shield to his back and give him both hands to gesture with. If Cap's shield is correctly scaled, and I believe it is, there is no way he was able to wear that under his shirt. It would be like wearing a shirt with the hanger still in it. If that hanger was huge, and circular.

And by the way: Ages 25 and Up had a strip of interest this week too. Go! Schnell!

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"Let's Rap with Cap...or not."

In terms of the Hero's Journey type business, Captain America gets the short stick compared to Iron Man and Thor, doesn't he? They get to lead happy, exciting lives before becoming superheroes and leading even more awesome and rewarding lives; while Cap had to suffer through the Depression as a weak and feeble man, before becoming a national symbol and shouldering that burden through the war. Not that it's not cool to be Captain America...but it can't be as much fun as being Thor or Iron Man, could it?

Anyway, if you click today's strip, you may notice a pair of green markers in the last panel; since I had to screen-print and paste. My system wouldn't run the PDF maker, since I'm still having a little trouble.
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If you asked me this morning if I needed Captain America fuzzy dice, I might've said no...

...and now I can't imagine life without them. Well, I can, but it was dark and unpleasant. Pulled out of the crane machine at the grocery store this morning, so hit one up now. They're on a string, so if you have any crane skills at all, you should be OK.
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Another Captain America rerun!

Someday, we'll look back on this and laugh. Unless I can repress this out of my skull, of course. Or you're a false memory. Maybe a Skrull...

Per the recent events in Civil War and his uncharacteristic mood swings, crying jags, and lapses in judgement, I'm worried about Captain America. (Aside from everything else, if you bring the Punisher on board you'd best make some allowances for people getting shot, Cap.) I'm wondering if Cap isn't coming down with one of my personal fears, Alzheimer's.

Everyone gives Cap the respect he's due for his World War II service, but that was only a relatively short part of his life. Say Steve Rogers received the Super-Soldier in 1940 (his first issue came out March 1941) and was frozen in 1945. Yet based on his comic appearances, flashbacks, newsreel footage, and Bucky-Related-Trauma, for Captain America WWII lasted thirty years and may in fact still be going.

(I get the same effect if I read a lot of Sgt. Rock comics in one sitting, with the added bonus of destroying what little geography I know: "Huh, Rock's in North Africa today? Easy was in Belgium last issue, so they must be pretty close, I guess...")


With so much going on, and the fact that new things seem to still be happening to Cap in WWII ("I've never met Wolverine before...oh, wait.") Cap could probably be excused for being a little fuzzy memory-wise. Then, if being frozen wasn't bad enough on his head, Cap also had some half-assed attempts at memory implants, placed so he would give false information if he was ever captured. Incidentally, when Cap has memories that don't line up right, he investigates, gets to the bottom of it, and restores his own memory. Wolverine? Cries about it for going on what, 30 years? I think Logan likes 'implanted memories' as an excuse: "Oh, eh, yeah...I never called 'cause I didn't think you were real, honey..."


Still, and there's only been the barest of lip-service paid to this: why Captain America and the Sub-Mariner didn't recognize each other, after they fought together in the Invaders for most of WWII. OK, Cap was only recently thawed out, and Namor only recently had been living as a drunken derelict. Fair enough. But why didn't anyone else say anything? After all, based on old issues of Captain America there was enough newsreel footage of Cap and Bucky for a year's worth of the History Channel. Neither Namor's men nor the rest of the Avengers mention it either, and you might think they would have read about it in history books or something.


Of course, the real reason is because the Invaders, while being an idea that makes perfect sense, was a retroactive addition. Cap can't very well remember things from WWII that the writers add today, which lifts the curtain on the illusion of continuity. But moreover, the Marvel Universe seems less supporting of this sort of graft or add-on: how many additions or secrets have been revealed about Batman's origin? Yet they seem less damaging, because the base is strong, and because the add-ons are always extraneous and easily ignored.

On the other hand, Cap's origin has been retconned to include Isaiah Bradley and Protocide and Weapon I and probably Nazi scientists, Skrulls, and the lost colony of Roanoke by now. The Marvel Knights series had two separate retcons: Cap fighting in an alternate Marvel universe where the Nazis won, before Cap ended up back in his iceberg; and a secret government-Lemurian (?) joint experiment on the frozen Cap. Uh-huh. Neither is remembered as a high point for Captain America.

So, to haphazardly draw a metaphor here, Cap's origin is like a strong wooden mast. You can attach things to it, or nail boards to it, but when you take them off you're left with a strong mast with holes in it. Not saying Batman's origin is better, but it's more like a strong stone you can use as a base, that can be built on without damaging it, and the add-ons can be demolished and replaced later. Well, just a thought.

And with that, I may have worked out all of my Civil War complaining and moaning! Ah, it's like coming out of a long flu, or a bad breakup, or some poorly thought out comics. Today, Ed Brubaker's new (and delayed) issue of Captain America comes out, and I'm looking forward to seeing how Cap (and Bru, for that matter) get out of this one.


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Cap with an Uzi? What, no American made guns out there?

Today, it's pretty standard to see Captain America use a gun on occasion. A lot of the new figures for the movie come with guns, and he's even shooting at something in the new trailers. But for years, it was almost unheard of for Cap to use a firearm; which made today's book so striking: Captain America #321, "Ultimatum!" Written by Mark Gruenwald, pencils by Paul Neary, inks by John Beatty. (And that cover by Mike Zeck, fresh off his work on G.I. Joe and the Punisher, although Zeck had a run on Cap some time before.)

Terrorist group Ultimatum (or maybe ULTIMATUM, I suppose) makes its first appearance here, hijacking a jet in mid-air with rocket-powered skis. Led by the fanatic Flag-Smasher, the group's goal is the eradication of countries--as a concept. Rabid anti-nationalists, they believe all the world's people are one, and ought to act like it; seeking to erase national boundaries and identities and conflicts. (A noble goal, but they're dicks about it; and people would find a reason to hate each other regardless.) Defeated by Cap in his first showing, Flag-Smasher offers to trade the hostages for Captain America. So he can be executed on worldwide television.

Meanwhile, Cap is enjoying a dinner with Ram, a young boy who had been helping Cap set up a nationwide hotline for emergencies for him; and Ram's rather fetching single (or divorced) mom. Unfortunately, Cap has to leap into action, taking an Avengers Quinjet to Europe. (But no Avengers! Buncha layabouts.) Reasoning Ultimatum may be too new of an organization to have constructed their own facilities, S.H.I.E.L.D. is investigating three of four possible sites, leaving Cap to check out the fourth.

Of course, Cap finds the Ultimatum base, and takes out a guard outpost. Disguising himself as an Ultimatum agent (with his shield under his coat, which should not work, at all) Cap works his way in, then takes a pair of the flying skis to follow Flag-Smasher to the hostages. The foreshadowing is a little heavy here: Cap not only nearly tosses out an Uzi before remembering he needs it for his disguise; and he also laments having to not fight fair by sucker-punching several agents.

Finding the hostages, Cap takes down three of four guards, but the fourth opens fire into the crowd. Having thrown his shield already, Cap has no choice but to gun down the last agent, killing him. With the hostages rescued (with four shot, although it's not clear if any were killed) Cap then sets his sights on Flag-Smasher...

Today, this issue probably seems as quaint as any from the sixties or seventies. But that's the way it was back then: Captain America may have been a soldier in World War II, but he was a superhero, a symbol, now; and did not kill. Cap would track down Flag-Smasher the next issue, while trying to impart the idea that life was sacred--even his. Corny? Old-fashioned? Hokey? Maybe a little, but not a bad notion to try to get across.

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The main reason I want a USAgent figure:

Over at It's All True, there's a look at Hasbro's new USAgent figure (and I imagine other sites will have reviews for him shortly, Poe's had a nice shot of USAgent, too) and while it looks like an all-right figure, I want a proper, Marvel Legends scale one!

I know there are some readers who don't care for a character like USAgent, specifically intended to be a replacement/rebuttal to a classic hero. Or, as I like to think of him, the Player 2 version. John Walker was occasionally written as having mental problems and probably a good chunk of post-traumatic stress disorder, but kind of like Guy Gardner, his sheer unfailing dickishness eventually wins you over a little. (I don't think I have it handy, but I'd love to dig up Avengers West Coast #69, where USAgent delivers a not-entirely-undeserved beating to Hawkeye.)

From What The--?! #22, "Captains Outrageous!" Written by Barry Dutter, art by Joe Quesada, inks by Joe Rubinstein.

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An old Cap post, from 2007:

Wait, Mark Waid screwed up the continuity? That's like the Pope dicking up mass, or whatever.

From Captain America, Sentinel of Liberty #12, "Brothers in Arms" Written by Mark Waid, pencils by Dougie Braithwaite and Anthony Williams, inks by Dan Green and Scott Koblish.

For the last issue of Cap's spin-off anthology, then-current Captain America writer Mark Waid delivered a different, more updated look at the origin of Cap's first partner, Bucky. It's a pretty definitive take on the character, at least until Ed Brubaker's retroactive upgrade/revival of Bucky into "orphan trained by Green Berets to do things that symbol of liberty Cap can't."

(Incidentally, when Bucky's return was first coming out, did anyone think it was going to work? Like even a little? At the very least, I was expecting fakeout, and at worst a longbox full of suck. Brubaker totally made it work, and a round of applause for him, the art crews, and the editorial staff for not laughing him out on his ass for saying 'I wanna bring back Bucky!' And somewhere, Jason Todd/Red Hood should be crying into a pillow...heh, his stupid mask is probably watertight, so I'd love to see that.)

Previously, you could probably be forgiven if your initial impression of Bucky was 'like Captain America's Robin, only less useful.' I always wondered how come Cap gets a shield, while Bucky's out there in the battlefields of World War II with a brightly colored yet non-representational costume and not much else. Other writers, and apparently Bucky himself wondered the same thing, and now you see him packing heat all the time. I don't know if he did in the wartime stories, but I don't remember seeing him with a gun in say, the Lee/Kirby issues, although I admit he might've.

Waid does some nice character work for Bucky, but, and this may be harsh, it's easy when all anyone knows about him is that he died. And Cap screams his name, like a lot. The young James Buchanan Barnes' father was killed in a training incident, and Waid expands on that little nugget of continuity: he died demonstrating parachute techniques, while his son watched, which is probably why 'take your kid to work day' still hasn't caught on with the armed services. Bucky picked up a fear of heights from the incident, which should be exactly the sort of thing that makes a person, oh, not jump onto a moving drone plane full of explosives. Well, that's what makes Bucky a hero, or at least a shining example of America's never-say-die, never-think-things-through attitude. (Or is that Springfield? Eh, same difference.)

Becoming a 'mascot,' or more-or-less ward of the Army, young Bucky, needing to feel useful, worked his way into a position as the camp 'go-to guy.' Or black marketeer. Whatever. After stumbling into Cap's secret identity, Bucky blackmails him to get a job as sidekick, Bucky enjoys the work and is shiftier, more crafty then Cap; which helps to differentiate him from other kid sidekicks and give him something to do in-story that Cap couldn't. But, when asked by Cap how it felt to do a good deed, he says it feels "like I didn't get all my change. What am I, a maroon? I'm not leaving without something."


Hmm. I'm suddenly suspicious Waid stole this from Superman II. I don't know enough about the army, wartime rules, or war profiteering to say if this is on the up-and-up or not. It's not like Bucky stole his watch or anything...


Also, and maybe this editorial edict has been reversed, but for a couple of years there, were swastikas and Nazi-whatnot verboten over at Marvel? Look, it's not like they were presented in a flattering light, as nine times out of ten it was mid-beatdown from Cap. (The tenth time, the Red Skull swearing vengeance.)

Bucky proves himself as a hero time and again, although I suspect from this story, had he survived and been left to his own devices, he would've ended up more like Booster Gold than Captain America. He would have wanted the fame, the glory, and then the money and the women, all of which leads to Bucky becoming a sellout and probably going out like Elvis by the 70's, which means maybe the metal arm and Soviet brainwashing weren't such a bad deal after all.

(I wish I still drew even a little, because I can picture a bloated, 70's-mustached Bucky, still in costume and domino mask, passed out drunk or dead on a giant round bed full of hookers and blow...and there go my chances of professional comics writing. Meh. Still, it would be a good What If?, a reversal of It's a Wonderful Life, where Cap sees Bucky survive the war only to slander his good name, abuse power, drugs, and himself; maybe even sell state secrets or take dives for payoffs. Kind of like that What If? where Spidey saves Gwen and then everything sucks, except decent. And yeah, I do need to finish reading Brat Pack...)

However, Mark Waid makes a big drop at the end of this story: after getting knocked unconscious by Baron Zemo, Cap and Bucky wake up tied to the drone plane; changed out of their costumes and into ordinary army uniforms. Why? Ostensibly as revenge for the bag-glued-to-his-head thing, so Cap and Bucky would die as "ciphers, unmourned and forgotten." A pretty grim assessment of our troops there, Zemo. Why did he have U.S. army uniforms lying around anyway? Dressing them up in Nazi uniforms would probably made more sense, and caused them more suffering. And looked horrible later. The real reason, though, is because in Avengers #4, when Cap's found in the block of ice, he's wearing the remnants of an Army uniform.

Over his Cap outfit, and his shield on his chest.

In Waid's version, without his shield, Cap goes after Bucky to stop the drone plane. And although the story ends with the last instant of Bucky's life (pre-Brubaker) frozen in time, the drone plane would explode, and Cap would be dumped into the ocean and frozen. Minus his shield, and without his brightly colored costume, which showed poking through the tattered army uniform, I doubt the Eskimos would've fished him out and started worshipping him. Or that the Avengers would've stopped chasing the Sub-Mariner, in order to pull Cap into the sub.

(with Captain America uniform)
IRON MAN: There's a man outside, in a brightly colored costume!
GIANT-MAN: Let's bring it in!
THOR: Aye, verily!

(without Cap uniform)
IRON MAN: There's a man outside, in a soldier's uniform. Huh.
WASP: Gross! Don't bring a corpse in here! This sub smells like an oil can full of sweat already!
THOR: Forsooth, by Odin's troth!

Admittedly, Cap's revival has been ret-conned quite a bit, too: I tried re-reading 'Ice' a while back, and the Jae Lee art is pretty but the story doesn't make a lick of sense. And despite what you may occasionally see elsewhere...like the *cough* sidebar...Cap was frozen with his mask off. (I knew I should'a bought that Faceoff two pack!) Also, not unlike other seminal events like Batman's parents getting shot, Bucky's death has been shown and re shown, from multiple angles, and any discrepancies could be written off to viewer error. After all, after getting thrown off a plane and frozen for...however many years he was frozen now, I can see how Cap's recollection might vary. In fact, a little later we'll look at how Cap doesn't remember much about WWII, except that Bucky blew up and he's sad.

Regardless, Waid screwed up, although I bet he noticed eventually, but I don't know if it was ever pointed out or brought up. To drop another Simpsons reference, I feel like Milhouse protesting to Bart that Santa's Little Helper did eat his fish: "You tried to say I never had a goldfish, but then why did I have the bowl, Bart? Why did I have the bowl?"

Man, feeling like Milhouse is never a good sign. Let's just say this was a good Bucky story, and maybe even set up him as being able to do things Cap, as a big patriotic symbol, couldn't...like steal Nazi uniforms, knife a sentry in the back, blow up a sub...

Waid's story also makes a little more sense as far as the drone plane: supposedly, Zemo was going to send the stolen drone plane sent back to Hitler (apparently directly to Hitler, based on all the accounts I remember) where it would be reverse-engineered so Nazi Germany could produce enough drones to bomb England and America. A pretty optimistic plan, since I'm don't think they would've been able to produce enough planes or bombs at that point in the war; but I've never played Axis & Allies, so what do I know?

The drone was launched from an English airfield, supposedly towards Germany, yet Cap ends up dumped in the North Atlantic, which doesn't seem quite right, but I'm not going to Mapquest it right now either. Say either it launched over the ocean and blew up before turning back, or that Cap and Bucky knocked it off course. But the bomb on the drone also varies: sometimes it's internal, like a part of the drone's engine, and sometimes it's a big lump of dynamite Bucky finds right before it goes off.

Killing Cap and Bucky would not only be a feather in Zemo's sack, but it would also be a huge propaganda victory for the Nazis. Hitler would probably want to publicize, if not desecrate the corpses; but it wouldn't work if they were dressed as garden-variety G.I.'s. Sending Cap's shield back only makes sense if the Germans planned on reverse-engineering the metal; but since Zemo's their best scientist, it makes more sense for him to keep it; but then Cap wouldn't have it in Avengers #4.

There's probably more, but I'd have to really dig for it now. I may or may not be out for the rest of the week, so have fun, and keep your sidekick in check, for god's sake...


Hell, before I forget: the Captain America and Avengers panels, the first is from Avengers #4, "Captain America joins the Avengers!" Written by Stan Lee, art by Jack Kirby. And it's damn expensive, so I just have it reprinted in Avengers Masterworks. The second is from Captain America #251, "The Mercenary and the Madman!" Written by Roger Stern, pencils by John Byrne, inks by Joe Rubinstein. Scanning out of a big thick trade is a pain, but Captain America: War & Remembrance is very much the first Cap trade you should buy. Or a Mark Waid one.

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All this week: Captain America!

Since Captain America: the First Avenger opens this week, we might as well try a week of Captain America posts! And we'll start off with one of the first Cap appearances I remember reading as a kid...Amazing Spider-Man #187, "The Power of Electro!" Script and co-plot by Marv Wolfman, layouts and co-plot by Jim Starlin, finishes by Bob McLeod. Cap isn't a surprise guest-star in this one, and neither is the villain; but this was 1978, and possibly the first comic I'd read with them.

Although things had been going pretty well for Spidey at the time, he's still as paranoid as ever, and his current assignment from the Daily Bugle wasn't helping. S.H.I.E.L.D. agents have sealed off the Indian Point power plant, evacuated the surrounding area, and clamped down on any information going out; so J. Jonah Jameson suckers Parker into going out to investigate. In short order, Spidey runs into Captain America, who steadfastly refuses to tell him anything.

Spidey realizes Cap is trying to protect him, then leaves. Cap then heads to the power plant, where he finds a kidnapped child, and Electro. Although he admits it's not his usual game, and has picked up a nasty cough, Electro's working a two-fer: a million dollars ransom for the kid (son of a movie star) and twenty-five grand to blow up the power station. A bargain!

Of course, Spidey didn't really leave, and shows up to help Cap pummel Electro. Electro grabs the kid, but Cap explains that may not be wise: the boy was on his way to medical specialists when he was grabbed; because he had been bitten by a rat and contracted the bubonic plague. (Yeah, the plague's usually spread by flea rather than rat bites, but they didn't have wikipedia in 1978!) Electro panics, and tries to 'burn away the plague' with the power station's electricity; Spidey, Cap, and the boy get out before the place blows up.

Later, Cap digs his shield out of the wreckage...something I'm a little surprised he doesn't have to do more often. And Spidey has to get his shots. Dum Dum Dugan makes an appearance, as S.H.I.E.L.D. will have to put out a cover story. He suggests lightning, since it worked during the 'Godzilla' affair. For some time, I thought that was some cool spy code-word thing; before I found out Dum Dum really meant Godzilla.

And, more than thirty years after first reading this issue, I'm still creeped out by rats... Read more!

If Fear Itself ends like this, at least have Chris G. draw it:

From Marvel Universe: Millenial Visions, story and art by Chris Giarrusso. The whole book was like a bunch of alternate reality/What If? style pitches, with a story page and a pin-up art page.

I've been reading the blog posts, but I haven't really been keeping up with Fear Itself. Still, not unlike DC's Blackest Night giving power rings to everyone; I wonder if Fear Itself won't end with hammers for everyone.

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This would explain a lot, wouldn't it?

Sometimes, a story may have a perfectly good hook, but not be sure enough of it, and decide to throw something else in there as well. Like today's book: the Unseen Hand, written by Terry Laban, pencils by Ilya, inks by Ande Parks.

Young college student Mike Webb is doing pretty well for himself: 3.9 GPA, speaks five languages, and he plans to become an entrepreneur in the newly freed markets of the Soviet Union. (The story, like the series, is from 1996.) He has a meeting with his econ professor, Geldt (a signifying name...) who suggests perhaps everything Mike knows and everything Geldt teaches about economics may be a lie; that in fact there are no free markets. While Mike's father is "an old time liberal" who believes in market controls, Mike understands all sorts of things interfere with the free market--wars, government regulations, etc.

Geldt says, what if the free market itself is a lie? A ruse, perpetrated by a cabal controlling the world's monetary system. Mike scoffs at the idea that any group could respond to market forces efficiently enough, and Geldt asks if there was such a group, would he join it? Mike defers, saying any cabal that would include him couldn't be smart enough to run the world.

At a frat party that night, Mike is interrupted by news of his father, hit by a car. In the hospital, though, his father admits that he isn't, and that Mike was adopted. His real father was Conrad Dank, CEO of Global Oil, killed in an "accidental" plane crash twenty years ago. Moreover, the Dank family has been part of a multi-generational conspiracy, spanning five centuries, to control the world's resources. The "absurd notion that unregulated markets will be managed automatically by an 'unseen hand,'" was propaganda from their agent Adam Smith, a perfect cover, and became the group's name.

Conrad, after a case of heat stroke that may have been a religious experience, had intended to publish a book exposing the Unseen Hand. Although the book would've been easily discredited, the Hand felt Conrad was a traitor and arranged his death. Then an infant, Mike survived; along with his sister, Miranda. Mike didn't even know he had a sister; but now he has a mission: to find her, and to expose the Unseen Hand.

Solid hook, huh? Unfortunately, I think the book bogs down a bit after Mike gets to the former Soviet Union; where most of the citizenry are cartoonishly struggling to get rich or die trying. Then there's Rasputin the III, a conjoined-twin seer and head of a plot to turn the clock back two hundred years (figuratively) and install a Czar on the throne; amongst other weirdness.

Still, an interesting read; although I'm not sure The Unseen Hand was ever collected. Give it a read if you see it, though.
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"A Little More Doom Idol."

Duhr. I actually have another week of Doom Idol coming up, but missed this page, so had to come back. As sometimes happens around here, it's one page today, three next week, 'kay? Luckily, it's done, since I'm having camera trouble now. (My computer refuses to believe the camera's hooked up, which is driving me up the wall.)

We had the old Star Sapphire out for Retro Toy Week a while back; and while she's not an overly poseable figure (being an older DC Direct offering) there's a bit of life to her. But we'll talk about that more next week!
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He wouldn't approve of one, but I don't see Anarky getting an action figure anyway...

Good lord, I was going to brush up on Anarky's history at his wikipedia page, and it's friggin' huge. Out of his early appearances, I know I read his debut in Detective Comics, his early run-ins with Tim Drake, and his self-titled limited series. I don't think I read today's book when it came out, though: his short-lived regular series, Anarky #1, "Aberration, part one: Power Play" Written by Alan Grant, pencils by Norm Breyfogle, Anarky's co-creators. (Inks by Joe Rubinstein.)

After the Bat-Quake event, Batman gives Anarky the "Stay out of Gotham" speech. Like Gotham is Bats' personal hunting ground, and other vigilantes need a license from him...Lonnie Machin, the sixteen-year-old known as Anarky, has lost his parents in the quake; and sets up a new base beneath the Washington Monument. (By this point, Lonnie has not only increased his own intelligence; he has a variety of stolen technology, including a Boom Tube.)

While his major "war is against all parasites--from the major politicians who bleed whole countries dry, to street-scum..." Lonnie has discovered, via math proof, an Aberration that could negate the universe's laws of space and time. As Anarky, he gives his information to the JLA, who are skeptical. As abnormal events begin, Lonnie wants to get a big gun like Green Lantern on the case, and follows a battle between Kyle and Fatality. After a ship crashes, Anarky is able to score a power ring, with which he plans to stop the Aberration...which has just manifested physically. (Anarky does take a moment with the ring to toss a statue of Senator "Gerry Mander" into space. The motto on the statue reads "Our divisions should not lead us to anarchy.")

I've enjoyed a lot of Anarky's stories, but he has to be a tough character to write. Moreso even than Batman, his goal is to save the world and improve humanity's lot, but Anarky is more about social action than punching criminals in the face. Well, Anarky does that do. But he's a bit like Dr. Doom; that is, the Doom from the 2099 books under Warren Ellis. Or the Authority, know that I think about it: none of them wanted to leave the world the way they found it, and they had the intelligence, drive, and resources to fix it...and then what? Not only would that suck the drama out of the book, it would make the various other characters in their respective shared universes look like they dropped the ball. Failure is the only option.

(Actually, I could see that as a Batman story: from the crack of dawn, Bruce Wayne uses his vast resources and wealth to fight the roots of crime: improved housing and job opportunities. More funding for drug and family and psychological counseling. More research and development for alternative energy. Even more equipment and staffing for Gotham's police and Batman, Inc. After an eighteen-hour day, Bruce looks out over his city...and there's still crime. Five minutes later, Batman is flat-out knuckle-busting criminals.)

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Although I still had a couple issues from when I was younger, I've had to replace most of my issues of Micronauts: the New Voyages. I know I kept the first issue, which was a pretty interesting start, and #6, "Bug Stories", where Bug leaves the team, but his imagination runs wild with "What If?" style worries over his friends. That one's pretty good, even out of context.

Today's issue? Not as good. Micronauts #14, "Greater Love Hath No Man...!" Written by Peter B. Gillis, pencils by Kelley Jones, inks by Danny Bulanadi. The story begins with the team in pretty rough shape: Commander Rann had left the team to become a hippie orbit a "psycho-active star" and commune with the Makers, who had if not created the Microverse, arranged it in the shape of a DNA molecule. (Why? Um, because it's cool.) Marionette's legs were paralyzed, although that may have been psychosomatic, and she was using a hoverchair. Former member Devil was missing, and attempts to rescue him are repeatedly sidetracked. And the Micronauts' new leader wasn't invited, no one liked him, was a total dick, and had ulterior motives on top of ulterior motives: Scion.


This was about a bazillion years before the car company of the same name, and I remember being puzzled how his name was pronounced. Scion, who looked like a metal, Colossus-type guy (albeit more slender, and with wings) commandeered the team, claiming he had to lead them to save the Microverse; and had enough power that Huntarr and Acroyear couldn't force his ass out of an airlock. He was also infuriatingly tightlipped about the nature of the emergency, and what needed to be done; so Scion seemed to be high-handedly bossing the others around and they resented the hell out of him. Huntarr openly asks Bug's alien (to them, even) girlfriend Solitaire if she could whup Scion; she admits she can't, but that even his words are dangerous.

After roughing up some innocent aliens to get the Keys to the Zodiac (a power-up or key needed for something...) Scion takes the team to the planet Aegis, which Bug and Mari recall as a nice place. Now, it's a planetary refugee camp, and utterly miserable. After defeating Baron Karza, the Micronauts left the Microverse at peace, and now this. Scion points out that "a mortal enemy like Baron Karza" would've enslaved these people, but they would live; now their only options were run or die.

The Micronauts (and frankly, probably their readers at the time) do not take this well. They had been resistance fighters (in a superhero mold) and aren't equipped to deal with this level of suffering. Bug loses it when he sees refugee insectivorids like himself, and they land to talk to them. The refugees explain that they, and millions others, have been trying to outrun a crushing wave of psychic pain coming from the center of the Microverse, Homeworld. The cause is unknown, but the pain is strong enough to kill plant life, so yeah, it's pretty bad.

The Micronauts aren't sure where to start, since this doesn't appear to be a problem they can solve by punching. Bug is at a loss, perhaps more so than the others; since his homeworld had previously been safe. (The others had lost or been banished from theirs.) Scion 'comforts' Bug, but also does something to him, either with his powers or the Keys.

The next morning, Solitaire finds Bug has formed a cocoon, which is not a natural occurrence. Acroyear tries to free him, but the cocoon is augmented by a force field. Scion shrugs, nothing to be done; but Solitaire refuses to give up, claiming this would change Bug's body but destroy his spirit. Although she looks like a hot woman for Bug, she is an alien shape-shifter, and tries to change her way through. Oddly, Bug still seems able to talk, and is dismayed to see his girlfriend as a chitinous blob.

Now Marionette breaks down, since she's already lost Commander Rann, and can't bear to lose Bug. (They were a couple briefly, in the old series.) She tries to ram her hoverchair through the field, failing spectacularly, then tries to crawl to Bug and fails. But, she gets close enough that Solitaire can reach her, and together they break the cocoon. (By virtue of having slept with Bug, I guess...) Bug seems no worse for wear, but Mari is devastated, and confesses that she's not the princess they thought she was...

As a book, not unlike fellow action figure adaptation ROM, Micronauts was in a weird place after defeating the series' big bad and breaking their storytelling engine. Gillis was trying to get away from their previous 'rebels vs. empire' formula, with mixed results. I think this issue's structure was somewhat typical, though: big alien Kirby-esque weirdness, in-team drama, a problem that can't be solved by punching, then punching.

I usually mention the Statements of Ownership when I come across them, and this issue had one. Line C, total paid circulation, average number of copies each issue during preceding 12 months: 157,361. Single issue nearest to filing date: 108,183. Per the Beat, no comic sold over a hundred thousand copies in May 2011. And yet the Micronauts: New Voyages used to. Yeah.
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This seems redundant:

Does Wonder Woman have to tell people she's not a victim? Of course not. Yet Valkyrie has to, even though she's about to deliver a pretty savage beating. Huh. But that's not the only thing redundant about Valkyrie #1, "Tragic Opera" Written by Bryan J.L. Glass, art by Phil Winslade.

I think I still have the last Valkyrie #1, from 1997, around here someplace. I may have to take a look for it, or for the 2001 Kurt Busiek/Erik Larsen Defenders issues that bring back Valkyrie, since all these comics do the same thing: devote a ton of pages to her increasingly messed-up back story, in the hopes of reaching a point where they can say, OK, here's Valkyrie, let's move forward. (It is tough, because I doubt Val's ever going to have a concise, straight-forward origin; since it currently involves the Enchantress, two or three mortal shells, Siegmund or Siegfried and the Ring of the Nibelung, Thor, and who knows what else.)

This time around, just prior to Secret Invasion, Brunnhilde the Valkyrie returns, in the body of a murdered woman. After a visit with the Wasp, and kicking the snot out of the murderer--longtime super-villain and punching bag Piledriver--Valkyrie is ready to move on with her new life. It's not a terrible issue, keeping in mind I paid fifty cents for it: the Winslade art is good, so there's that. But you don't really need it, and I hope Valkyrie is moving forward for a change.

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Today: Star-Lord visits Planet Grabby.

It's a Naughty Tentacle and a Rashomon style story? Only from mighty Marvel! From Marvel Premiere #61, "Planet Story!" Written by Doug Moench, art by Tom Sutton. Exploring the far reaches of space, Star-Lord and his ship...Ship are going over a recent mission to an unexplored alien planet. Ship's 'widget' probes showed signs of intelligent life, so Star-Lord flew down to investigate. Within thirty seconds of entering the atmosphere, he is nearly killed by a geyser and then sucked into "some sort of carnivorous plant." Star-Lord does not take these events as a sign, and presses on. More odd events occur, like quakes, before he gets to the ruins. Eventually, Star-Lord is sucked into a pulsating, living cavern; with honeycomb-like slots that he compares to morgue drawers, and that's when the tentacles start getting grabby. Next comes an automated hologram slideshow of the planet's history: the intelligent lifeforms resembling sea-monkey ads (probably due to the coloring) evolve, are preyed upon by the parasitic honeycomb, break free and build cities, then the inevitable societal collapse before abandoning the planet. However many years ago that was, the planet has begun to reclaim the cities, and the honeycomb ropes Star-Lord in and starts sucking the life out of him. But, for the second part, the narration changes from Star-Lord, to the POV of the planet! An intelligence in itself, but alone, "this planet" is thrilled to see anyone. Perhaps a little over-excited, since that's the geyser that goes off...it tries to keep its visitor from reaching the hated cities, but then shows the slideshow in the hopes of being understood: the planet wasn't a parasite feeding on the sea-monkeys, they shared a symbiotic relationship, helping each other until the aliens decided to leave. They began farming, taking from the planet and giving nothing back, until it was nearly dead. The aliens that could fled, coldly leaving their world to fend for itself as the others died out. Desperate for companionship, the planet pulls Star-Lord into itself. Understandably freaked out, Star-Lord manages to break free, and flies back to Ship. Both feelings hurt and a bigass hole shot in it, the planet doesn't try to stop him. Star-Lord runs over the recent events with Ship as he ponders what to do with this freaky planet. His first instinct is to destroy it, since it could be dangerous to others and it's really creepy; but Ship talks him out of it. The planet, still alone, wants to die at this point; but Star-Lord decides not to mess with it, but not to hang around, either. As he leaves, he's pretty sure he made the wrong choice for the wrong reason, and the planet softly weeps. I think the intention here is for the reader to feel sorry for the planet, and realize there is more to this universe than we know; and I'm sorry, but that thing creeps me right out. (I first read this comic when I was ten.) And while this isn't the first living planet in comics, it predates Mogo by a good four years. Read more!

"Even still more Doom Idol."

Is Adam Strange in anything lately? I got the "Planet Heist" trade a bit ago, and remember him being in some other recent stuff.

I got the DC Direct Adam Strange some time ago, when it looked like he'd be the only figure of him, ever. Of course, he would later get DCUC and DCIH figures, but this one is good enough for my purposes.
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Get your Brita filters now, Gothamites.

Since Batman faces roughly 48,000 criminals a year in Gotham City; you may wonder if there isn't an underlying cause to the violence that hasn't been found yet. Is it a 'bounce-back' effect; the criminal element reacting against Batman? Is there a supernatural reason, like demonic possession? Maybe there's something in the water...

This issue takes that theory and runs with it: Batman: Legends of the Dark Knight #206, "The Madmen of Gotham, part 3 of 3" Written by Justin Gray, art by Stephen Cummings. (And a nice Gary Erskine cover.) I don't think I've read the prior two chapters, but eh, that's never stopped us before.

We open with Batman falling to his death, along with no less than seven madmen. The sidebar recaps the ongoing story: Erik Gavlin, "son of former CIA spook Theodore," has developed scary psychic powers by being repeatedly dosed with a drug called Neurotal. Said drug is supposed to repair brain damage and suppress violent tendencies; suffice to say results may vary. By this point, Erik apparently can control minds, create bizarre illusions, and cause insanity.

In the split-seconds before hitting the ground, Batman uses a remote to summon the Batmobile and spray safety foam. Gliding or leaping out of the foam, Bats then nets up the madmen, while Erik has a little chat with his father, and stirs up more madmen.

Batman contacts Alfred while on route to the Batcave; shooting pepper-spray grenades at rioters as he goes. Alfred's on chemistry detail this month, and explains his work may reduce Erik's Neurotal levels, it won't completely remove his powers. Alfred also asks if Bruce believes Theodore Galvin had Thomas and Martha Wayne killed, as part of a plot to release Neurotal in Gotham's water supply.

As Erik explains his psychotic tendencies and murdering his mom; Theodore cops to dumping Neurotal in the water "hoping there wouldn't be any more children like you." Since it did wonders for Erik, he points out that probably just created more psychotics. Smirkingly, Erik wonders if Batman, with his violent nature, was raised on bottle water; when Bats makes an entrance on a Batcycle.

Using a wrist-mounted dart-launcher, Batman manages to get one shot in Erik; who starts to lose some power. He forces his dad to attack Batman, who ties him up and uses the opportunity to ask about the Waynes' deaths. Theodore denies involvement, and Erik actually backs him up by pointing out "my father had already dumped buckets of Neurotrol into Gotham reservoir before you were born."

Erik is trying to control a mob to kill Batman, but is losing juice. Instead, he mentally attacks a helicopter news crew, forcing the copter down. Although Batman's captions narrate "Everything is happening faster than I can react," Bats is able to grapple up to the falling copter, catch three people, and swing them through a window to safety! Well, OK, he only catches two people; the third has to grab Batman's foot in midair and hang on for dear life. The caption as Batman does this? "I'm not Clark; I have limitations." Limitations? Are you sure, Bruce, that was pretty damn impressive...

Before the helicopter hits, the still-bound Theodore shoves Erik under it, killing them both. Batman watches the explosion stoically for three silent panels...signifying something, I'm sure.

Back at Wayne Manor, Bruce reflects on the case while repainting and closing off one of his father's rooms. (Presumably, where he found a clue to his father's possible involvement.) Alfred lets him know that Waynetech bought up the pharmaceutical company behind Neurotal, which should lock that down; although Bruce still doesn't have a clear cause/correlation to Neurotal's effects on the people of Gotham or the reams of psychotics he deals with nightly. An interesting question...that'll never come up again, since this was just a throwaway little three-parter; not a capital-E event with capital-C creators or anything.

I don't know how anyone else, readers or creators, would feel about trying to retcon an explanation for at least some of Gotham's lunacy. And Batman seems to have super-bat-speed this issue: both his saves involve multiple people falling and are just about impossible. The art is nice, and some of the visuals of Erik's psychic fish are creepy; but Cummings doesn't quite cut loose enough with the crazy, nor is there a sense of motion to go with all that falling.
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This Fourth of July, consider hugging it out.

Steve Rogers and Tony Stark sharing a manly hug at the end of Avengers Prime #5, written by Brian Michael Bendis, pencils by Alan Davis, inks by Mark Farmer. Normally, I wouldn't even shell out a buck for a Bendis-written Avengers, but Alan Davis art will get a few bucks out of me, just like last time. Got the whole series for under five bucks, and at that price? Highly recommended. Bendis doesn't do too badly here, and having only five issues to play with keeps him from meandering. That said, Bendis being Bendis, I do believe Cap and Shellhead are pissed off at each other again before this issue even came out...

A quick one here, since I had to take my computer apart and work on it. Which is nowhere near as technical as I tried to make it sound there. I opened it up since the CD drive wasn't working, and the fan was absurdly loud. Managed to get it all working, knock out a lot of the dust, and not electrocute myself!

Anyway, have a happy fourth? I have no idea what I'm doing for it...

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