Happy Fourth of July!

Ah, any excuse to drag this one out again...I would like to try it again and get new pictures someday. It just occurs to me that I have the shirtless Namor figure, so I could do new ones with him tossing the Cap-cube into the drink. Well, maybe next year. Have a happy Fourth, and be careful out there!
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Every time I read the X-Men previews, I think of this:

I suppose the X-Factor panel today would have a couple more babes, in front of a crowd of Multiple Men, but it's hardly the worst offender...

From What The--?! #3, "Mutant Beach Party!" Script by Kurt Busiek and art by Kyle Baker. Those costumes seem positively demure now, don't they? And seriously, check out the current X-Position at CBR, then tell me I'm wrong.

That's (probably) it for this week, and have a good holiday!
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"Of Beasts, and Things..." Featuring neither Hank McCoy nor Ben Grimm. Sorry.

Before Walt Simonson took over Thor with issue #337, sales for that book were by all accounts in the doldrums, verging on cancellation. At the time, I personally hadn't read the pre-Simonson stuff; but I've read some in the years since. It wasn't great, even not compared to what was to come, but I do remember one bright spot I enjoyed as a kid and just finally got a replacement copy.

For years in their own books and in Avengers, Iron Man and Thor had a strong working relationship: they were the only teammates to know each other's secret identities for a long time, and respected each other greatly. Thor always spoke highly of his comrade's valor; while Iron Man was always impressed by the majesty of Asgard and the gods. Eventually, they would get into a tiff that lasts to this day; involving some oppressed pseudo-European country, the Odinpower, and Thorbuster armor. Recently in the conclusion of Secret Invasion, I believe Thor called out Iron Man as an example of everything that is wrong with everything, ever; but they were still at least work buddies back in Thor #316, "Of Beasts and Things" Written by Doug Moench, layouts by Keith Pollard, embellishments by Simons, Stone, and Marcos.

If like me, you didn't catch the prior issue, neither did Iron Man, so as he flies into the scene, the recap is for him and the new reader. Neat. Last time, a giant sea monster, actually a disguised ship, swallows a Stark Industries freighter and takes it to a domed undersea city. The city was run by the Bi-Beast, a cranky double-brained android that had been causing trouble for the Hulk and others for years. Using the jet engines stolen from the freighter, he launches his city and attacks Florida, before being stopped by Thor and the city crash-landing.

Thor had been on-board as Dr. Donald Blake, serving as ship's doctor, which seems both inconvenient (tougher for him to duck out and change into Thor) and convenient (twenty minutes after setting sail, the ship gets attacked?) and also indicative of the lack of direction for the book. Thor still had a secret identity, but Jane Foster had been out of the picture for some time; so he didn't have the usual complications that would come with maintaining it. It was a vestigial organ, that didn't really add a lot to the book; except occasionally to get Thor into jams when he lost his hammer for sixty seconds and turned into Blake. And for his medical knowledge, for years Blake may have been more useful in Avengers than in his own book. Tellingly, Simonson would take Dr. Blake out of the picture shortly after taking over.

As the Bi-Beast is hauled off by the cops, a noisy thing on the dome's ceiling pops off and zaps the Beast and his guards with a weird ray. (In context on the first page it appears, it's not clear how big the thing is: it could be the size of a breadbox, but turns out to be at least as big as a motor home.) The ray wakes up the Bi-Beast, who smashes out of his restraints; but also enrages the guards, who attack each other in blind rage.

The Bi-Beast then commences stomping ass on local law-enforcement, while Iron Man hustles Dr. Blake to cover; ostensibly because he's a lame non-combatant (as in, with a limp) but actually so he can turn back into Thor. While Thor uses Mjolnir to stop the angry cops, Bi-Beast is tractor-beamed away by the ship. Iron Man gives chase, but is shot down, and the craft escapes. Thor and IM begin searching, since Iron Man figures he must've damaged that ship; and they pass over beach, city, and swamp inside like six panels. I've only been there like once, but has anyone at Marvel ever been to Florida? I'm pretty sure the state isn't entirely swampland. And if you go to Marvel-Florida, you know who you're always going to run into there...no, not at the Islands of Adventure, either.

Iron Man was right about the ship being crippled: it crashed into the vast expanses of swamp, and the Bi-Beast dips his feet in the water while bitching to himself--himselves--about their useless ally. The Bi-Beast seems a little down on himself as well, lamenting his numerous defeats. His ally finally tells him to cram it, and reveals himself to be the Man-Beast, from Counter-Earth.



Long story short: Man-Beast is a super-evolved and very pissed off wolf, created by the High Evolutionary, and the Satan or maybe Cain figure to Warlock's Jesus allegory in his pre-Starlin stories. So, he's a wolf-man in cape and short pants; and has been stringing Bi-Beast along in his plans to destroy Earth, since Man-Beast only cares about destroying Counter-Earth. Well, glad that's cleared up. M.B. also experimented with the Bi-Beast (ew!) and absorbed some of his knowledge, while Bi-Beast got shorter and maybe gained hate. Really?

M.B. sends Bi-Beast off into the swamp to try and find materials to repair their ship; so keep in mind neither one of them is from earth and probably don't realize there's not much help there. As the Bi-Beast sulks along, blowing up an alligator along the way, he is watched by...the Man-Thing. If your eyes are sharp, he appeared on the cover!

I have to confess...I used to really not like Man-Thing. His terrible movie didn't help, even though I regret not buying it cheap...It was partly because he depresses me more than Swamp Thing (Swampie can at least talk, and think, and score...) and partly because every time a Marvel character is anywhere near Florida, Man-Thing shows up. His guest appearances here and in Micronauts come to mind as being from about the same time; and I get the feeling writers wanted to use him but couldn't really advance Man-Thing's story along in those issues. Maybe Man-Thing's story isn't supposed to advance, which is also depressing. Bottom line, though: in Marvel-Florida, you are more likely to run into Man-Thing, then you are an old person or anything.

Anyway. Even though Bi-Beast is supposed to be newly chock full of hate, Man-Thing can't sense any emotions from this bright orange thing stomping through his swamp. All together now: "Whoever knows fear...burns at Man-Thing's touch," so he tries it, and nothing. Bi-Beast casually tosses Manny away, probably not realizing there's anything out of the ordinary about him, but Manny follows. Bi-Beast then finds a trailer-campsite, and conscripts the campers to work on the ship.

Next, we get possibly the biggest asshole line from Iron Man, ever:

Dick...

Thor calls down the lightning, to create a ring of fire around the area, and calls out the Super-Beast: that was the name he knew Man-Beast by, way back in Thor #134. Man-Beast gives his new, not as good name, and calls in his tag-team partner; then Iron Man calls in as well; and the locals set up chairs and crack open some brews.

The brawl accelerates rapidly, forcing the locals to flee as the fighters change opponents; but they don't get far before running into the Man-Thing, who in his mindless way notes the onlookers have fear, but the heroes and villains don't.

The Bi-Beast probably shouldn't have kept announcing he was an android, as Thor finally decides in that case, he can unload on him, and knocks him out. Man-Beast breaks for his ship, and takes off; but somewhat coldly, Thor and Iron Man shoot him down. The ship crashes into quicksand, and while Thor and Iron Man can't seem to find it, the Man-Thing placidly watches as the Man-Beast's hate goes out. Aw, that made me a little sad, but he comes back.

The Bi-Beast is hauled off, and would go on to menace both She-Hulk and Squirrel Girl, as well as recently appearing in the Hulk videogame and getting an action figure for it. He's also occasionally been a punchline, albeit one you probably see coming, in Hulk appearances in Twisted Toyfare Theatre. Man-Beast and Bi-Beast aren't as close as they used to be, but they still email each other and get in touch over the holidays; which is a damn sight more than you can say about Iron Man and Thor. Probably because of the light comment.


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Two unintentional crossovers for today:

Longer strips will return, eventually: I even have maybe one, one and a short one banked away, but am still working on the next part. That and I've been busy, it's super-nice outside, blah, blah, blah. So, here's a couple put together with finds from that last garage sale haul:

I'm a little surprised I never had a Jabba before. The stamp on the bottom says 1997, and I had to look up in Stephen Sansweet's Star Wars: the Action Figure Archive, if he was a re-use of an older mold. He wasn't, but the older Return of the Jedi 1983 version didn't look too bad. Not unlike Jabba here, the Archive was a find in a bargain bin, and comes in handy even though it's a bit outdated now.

The three and three-quarter inch (or thereabouts) Star Trek figures haven't gotten rave reviews: Michael Crawford was less impressed with the figures themselves than the accessories. But I might be getting a little use out of them, and remain positive that you'll probably see deep discounts on a lot of the first wave later: don't run out and pay full price for Cadet McCoy or Chekov, is what I'm saying.


Is this a humvee? I don't know enough to say, nor about the seemingly old-school G.I. Joe stickers on it, with the helmeted guy over the "J." It's missing some kind of gun in the opening back section, but the batteries and sound button still works. It's stamped 2003, and Dusty looks right about right driving it. The Oldest has been playing with it, cramming as many people into it as he can. Still, it might be more fun to have a less...real-world vehicle, perhaps one that could hold more figures: Paul made a pretty good argument for one such example, and it's tempting.

Tomorrow: probably my longest comic related post in recent memory! And now that I've said that, I'm sure the roof'll cave in, or my scanner will implode, or something...
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If it takes me another twenty-seven years to get an action figure...well, I'll be OK with that.

Paul of Toy Bender recently posted a little heads-up over at Poe Ghostal's Points of Articulation, featuring a Wal-Mart exclusive Rebel Pilot three-pack. Now, I haven't bought a Star Wars figure in recent memory, so why do I mention it? One of the pilots is Shira Brie, from Marvel's Star Wars comic!

Ah, that takes me back. From Star Wars #57, "Hello, Bespin, Good-bye!" Written (and plot) by David Michelinie, pencils (and plot) by Walter Simonson, inks by Tom Palmer. This was Shira's first appearance, and I was going to get into her further story, except A. I couldn't find issue #61, it's around here somewhere..., and B. There's about forty pages of write-up on Shira (and her future) over at Wookiepedia: spoilers ahoy, in case you were reading twenty-seven year old Star Wars comics. (Here's a hint: Shira's getting another action figure later as well...)

In that case, we won't go into Shira's story, except with this page, from "Shira's Story," Star Wars #60, again written (and plot) by David Michelinie, pencils (and plot) by Walter Simonson, inks by Tom Palmer.
On a day trip to Shira's homeworld, we discover A. her people were apparently at war with Beta Ray Bill's orange-skinned tribe, of Thor fame; and B. that guy with the beard looks kinda familiar...

I do believe Shira's second figure, under her later name, comes in a Comic Pack with Luke, and one of my favorite issues of the old Marvel series? Will I buy them? Hnnnh...maybe. I haven't bought a Star Wars figure for the proverbial dog's age, so we'll see if I crack.
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The copyright infringement lawsuit from the X-Men will be there shortly:

So not prepared today: I don't think I've had time to even read a comic for a couple of days. So, we've got a couple panels from Timber Wolf #3, written and inked by Al Gordon, pencils by Joe Phillips. I've mentioned enjoying this Legion of Super-Heroes spin-off before, even if T-Wolf, and his guest-star this issue, the Creeper, have both been rebooted at least once since then. After smashing up their ersatz Danger Room there, Timber Wolf dukes it out with the Creeper. For some reason.
The Creeper's just messing around, although this may be the first issue to play Jack Ryder as less playing insane, and a little more actually insane: T-Wolf notes, though, that "It's not madness I sense...it's chemicals." Which would make a lot of sense, really.

Guh, I'd best get the rest of this week started now, the way it's going so far...
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Yes, I do feel my 'strongth' returning!

...or, maybe I just feel better because my thumbs stopped bleeding.

So, I did eventually finish Ghosts 'n Goblins last night, which is less a testament to my mad gaming skills than it is to a lot of continues. If this had been in the arcade, how many quarters would it have eaten, and how long would I have had to stay at that game? Too many, and too long.

I mentioned before that Ghosts 'n Goblins was thought to be the second-most difficult game, presumably of it's time or the arcades; but it didn't mention the most difficult one. Also, like I said, I had to go back to level four since I didn't have the shield as my weapon; then when you beat the last boss, the game tells you that was an illusion from Satan (!) and you have to play the whole game again to rescue the princess. Bastards! Level five is the killer, since there's no midpoint, and you have to finish it in one shot.

Well, I guess now I could start on the sequel, Ghouls 'n Ghosts. Uh, maybe later.
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No jokes about the essentialness of Essential Punisher here.

Yeah, it needs a stronger title. Like Mandatory Punisher. No, that's terrible.

I picked up Essential Punisher, volume two the other day, trading in some old junk at the Comic Book Shop. It's twenty-plus issues or so, starting with Mike Baron and Klaus Janson's Punisher #1, Frank's first ongoing series issue. I've read all of those, of course, and some in black-and-white before as well, in the old Punisher Magazine reprints.

(Rather than try to cram that phone book into my scanner, the scans are from Punisher Magazine #8, reprinting Punisher #10, "The Creep" Written by Mike Baron, pencils by Whilce Portacio, inks by Scott Williams. Both the Essential and said Magazine are kind enough to include the Rashomon-style crossover with Daredevil #257, "The Bully" Written by Ann Nocenti, pencils by John Romita Jr. and inks by Al Williamson.)

I think I lost or sold off a lot of them back in the mid-late nineties when Punisher was just worn out and terrible; possibly before the angel nonsense, but definitely before Garth Ennis brought him back.

At the time, before he became swamped in the work that came with three books and myriad guest-spots, Frank was a little more human and a little less the unstoppable engine of destruction you might be used to seeing. (A little less...) He makes mistakes, he needs help, he loses like three battle-vans in this volume alone. By the second issue, Frank's ready to quit his war on crime: Baron may have played that card too soon, since it seems like the next issue backpedals that into a "break." It doesn't take: Frank can't not respond to crime, and doesn't seem to have anything else to do.

Although, there is one scene, after hitting the Jehovah's Witnesses for leads while rocking the Clark Kent disguise (something the modern Punisher probably couldn't pull off...) he's left waiting on a tip, so Frank reads a novel. Not that Frank couldn't be a big reader, but how often do you see him do something besides shoot people and look sullen? It's one little panel, I love it, and really wouldn't mind reading that book sometime. (It's Poe Must Die by Mark Olden, and I may have to try Amazon later for it. EDIT: Yeah, good luck...) If it's good enough for Frank (and Baron, presumably) then it should be good enough for the likes of me.

Also: I know I had this one, but I had forgotten the first Punisher Annual, part of the Evolutionary Wars crossover. With the High Evolutionary, although he doesn't appear directly in this one; that's still two great tastes that taste weird together. H.E.'s armored soldiers are fighting a druglord in Central America, the Punisher gets involved via the Druglord's Innocent Daughter (a cliche so common it should have a trademark after it) and the Punisher and the druglord are forced to team-up. No points for guessing where that goes...
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(Mostly) Off-topic:

I've been thinking about music a little more than usual, but unfortunately, it's about music I no longer have. Moreover, it's music I no longer have and am not about to pay for again; songs I had on tape or CD's that I've lost or had stolen over the course of years. It started when the Oldest liked the Talking Heads' "Take me to the River," and the Youngest loved "Psycho Killer" (the 'fa-fa-fa-fa" bit cracks him up) and I remembered I lost my old Stop Making Sense CD. The Sand in the Vaseline set doesn't have "Life During Wartime" on it? Did we lose said war? (No "Slippery People" either, and both were story titles in old Captain America issues by Mark Gruenwald.)

And that opened the floodgates: old Police stuff? Completely gone. The Deftones, Metallica, Iron Maiden, Anthrax (I went through a metal period...), David Bowie, the Breeders, Prince, Morphine, I think even the first They Might Be Giants album; those and dozens more not on my hard drive and hence nowhere.

Yes, I know I could use iTunes or some other silly thing to download anything I miss, but currently I'm standing by my guns; since I already paid for those damn songs once at least. I sure as hell don't need to pay for something like Bush twice, that's for damn certain. (I do appreciate "Glyercine" a lot more since Homer reworked it...I guess that episode wasn't popular, but I loved it.) Also, I don't want to rack up a huge bill...ala another Simpsons episode.

More unrelated nonsense after the break!


I'm a fairly healthy chap: I bike a lot, walk my dog, get a good night's sleep. (When I'm not immersed in a game or toiling away to bring you bloggy goodness.) But I also have, at best, a nodding familiarity with 'nutrition.' (Yeah, nodding at it as it leaves...) So, I've been trying to take advantage of the finally pleasant weather, and get more exercise; including getting back to the weights and sit-ups and whatnot.

So, I got the bright idea from some half-remembered tidbit from a magazine; that Britney Spears, when she's in shape, does 200 sit-ups a day. Well, I figured if she could do it...and maybe I couldn't do it all in one sitting, but if I did 200 sit-ups at some point during the day...currently, my abs might not be a six-pack, but that doesn't matter since I can't stand upright.

Maybe I should just, I dunno, eat a vegetable or something. By the way, don't you love supposedly helpful hints, for losing weight or saving cash or magically improving the marginal quality of your life, that you're already doing? Like when you hear someone say, like it's a state secret, that you can shave unwanted flab by taking the stairs instead of the elevator? Hey, great plan! I've been taking the stairs for years, but now that you've told me, I'm sure the flub will just melt off now!

Financial planning advice is in the same vein for me: ride a bike instead of paying for gas, make your own coffee instead of buying lattes, don't eat out? Hey, I do all that, and I still don't have enough cash for all the comics I want. It's just the kind of advice people parrot when they want to feel smart or empowered; or the crumbs of actual help those without financial problems deign to give those who do; and it's not really enough of either.

So whenever I get crappy advice like that, I feel like Joel, Crow, and Servo in the Mystery Science Theatre 3000 movie, as they try to get tech support for their Interocitor.

As alluded to above, I am in the middle of a game: Ghosts 'n Goblins, on the Capcom Classics Collection for PS2. I'm old enough to have played it in the arcades, but had never made it as far as I did yesterday, finishing level 5...only to be told I had to have the useless goddamn shield as a weapon and sent back to the start of four.

Per my long-standing attempt to eschew profanity here, I can not adequately describe how that made me feel. I also can't save on this game, so my PS2 is still on, as I sit here at work mentally berating myself for not calling in sick...


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...and that's exactly why I lose a lot of arguments.

Say what you will about her--that she's a genocidal madwoman, that she's only a fragment of Warlock's psyche, that her Joan-of-Arc haircut (that she sports most of the series) isn't flattering--but the Goddess knows how to win arguments: by shouting, claiming divine right, and kicking out as needed. Fox News must teach a class or something.

From Infinity Crusade #6, "Rapture" Written by Jim Starlin, pencils by Ron Lim, inks by Al Milgrom. I mentioned last week not recalling some of Starlin's Infinity Trilogy, so I took a second to reread the last issue. This time, instead of universal holocaust or war, the Goddess crusades (duh) for universal peace, bringing many of earth's heroes under her control, and building up to another universal holocaust. It does have some fun with said universal holocaust, I'll give it that:

Warlock and Thanos are master manipulators again here, and their saves are clever without seeming like the cheats they are. Earth's heroes are again for the most part left clueless and confused, but these things happen. I may need to flip through the whole series again, since I don't recall which heroes sided with the Goddess: I don't think a lot of characters previously shown to have strong religious faith, like Daredevil or Nightcrawler; fell under her sway; and they seem like the ones who would.

Perhaps I'll scan it later, but in the end, after cheating Mephisto out of a promised Cosmic Cube; Thanos sums up the moral of the series and a pretty good philosophy on religion. It's to the effect of, you'll never find fulfillment looking for it from without, it has to come from within. Of course, that might've sounded better coming from anyone besides Thanos, it's not like he seems super-fulfilled, is it?

One more thing: I love Ron Lim's art. Seriously.
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$30+ for a new MOTU figure, or fifty cents for...

Man, that mold line down the middle of Battle Cat's face is so bad, even he can't stop staring at it. The saddle-slash-missile launcher thing on his back is spring-loaded but latches poorly. I think I have it held on with putty there.

I haven't bought any of the new Masters of the Universe figures, but I did get yet another Battle Cat last weekend. This one is from a batch of McDonald's Happy Meal toys from around 2003; smaller, simpler versions of the new designs. You can see a couple of the Beast Men from that in the alternate banner I set up; and I know I have a couple of He-Men and Man-at-Arms; the He-Men sans weapons, and all from garage sales here and there.

More behind the bump! For a change...

I've had those figures out, since I've been cautiously dipping my toe into the three-and-three-quarter inch pool; and I wanted to set up a little comparison chart for sizing. The DC Infinite Heroes figures are a little puny compared to the Marvel ones I've got so far: Nightcrawler towers over Superman, there. But the DCIH look like superheroes compared to the tiny Star Trek figures. And all do they all match up with G.I. Joes or Star Wars figures?

Well, I haven't got it together yet, and it might take a bit: I had it in my head I needed the Marvel Universe Captain America figure, but that one is long gone in this neck of the woods. Ditto Moon Knight, who was tempting. Either would help my comparisons, since to nitpick, technically Nightcrawler is from the Wolverine and the X-Men animated and Pool from the Wolverine movie, two separate (but close enough) lines. I saw a good review of the Terminator: Salvation Hunter-Killer vehicle that came with a endoskeleton, worth getting if on sale, perhaps. There's also a Hellboy set floating around that I wouldn't mind; but then again, Hasbro is teasing the return of Marvel Legends, so I mind toss most of these figures back in a box and bag it. Relatively speaking, that is; since that probably wouldn't happen for a year, at least.

Ah, I'm glad I went with this one today: a little more cheery than the last one, there.
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Hey, Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen opens today...

...and yeah, I'll be waiting until it gets to the dollar theatre, yeah. Or, if the kids and I are lucky, the drive-in when we're on vacation! That won't really make the movie better, but yay, drive-in!

Come to think of it, the Oldest and I saw the first one at said dollar theatre, too. He's getting excited, and picked up a couple new figures last Friday: Bumblebee and a Brawl...I think he's Brawl, anyway. We laughed pretty hard at Wheelie, and I also did not care for the unicycle-bot, whatever the blue motorcycle one was called. And we watched the first Transformers DVD: I don't hate it, but I did have to fast-forward through Michael Bay's extended loving homages to Top Gun the military, any scenes with Anthony Anderson...or John Turturro...or most of the human characters. (Sam's arrest, and the intelligence agents' subplot, were especially painful.)

Also, if I hadn't been watching it with a minor, here's a little drinking game you can play: drink every time you see an actor from some Fox show! "Thas's...that's that guy...secret service guy on 24. Yay, Uncle Bernie! And that kid was on Buffy like twenny years ago...hey, it's Sucre! Was he killed on Prison Break? And why is this bottle empty?" (Was Buffy ever on Fox? Ah, whatever.)


No disrespect to Hugo Weaving, but Megatron's funnier if you read it in Frank Welker's voice, and I can almost hear it.

So, while I enjoy the toys and Slurpees and occasional jest at its expense, it's safe to say, I'm not overly excited for Revenge of the Fallen. I'm not as not excited as Topless Robot, though. Granted, they have a lot of valid reasons to be pissed; but it's an unfortunate effect of the internet: Look, I've never met Michael Bay. I think I've only seen one other of his films, Pearl Harbor, and I was drifting in and out of it. I've never listened to his director's commentary, haven't read or seen a lot of interviews with him, and am not positive I could pick him out of a line-up of directors. ("Wait, aren't you Uwe Boll?") And yet I'm 90, 95% positive Michael Bay is a colossal douchebag. That makes me a little sad, because I could be wrong prejudging him, and Bay the person could have nothing to do with his work. Maybe Bay supports orphans or saves puppies or meditates daily or knits. I don't know, so it doesn't seem fair to think that.

Still, 90, 95% positive. I'll see Transformers 2 when I see it, and I hope the Oldest likes it.

A question--non-snarky this time, 'kay? In interviews lately, Shia LeBeouf was talking about getting gouged in the head with a bigass spike during a stunt. According to the story, he walked it off, got some stitches, and was filming a couple hours later. The story sounds like a badge of honor for Shia, and that's great; but...shouldn't he be kind of pissed that he got hurt? I know there's a risk of danger in stunts for a movie like that, but don't they try to minimize the chance of face-stabbery? Plus, I'm sure most of you reading this, if you got stabbed in the face at work--hell, if I got poked a little--you would take the rest of the day off and possibly consider suing, depending on the degree and the circumstances. Of course, you say, you're in a field where workers can reasonably expect not to get face-stabbed...maybe I'm reading too much into this.

Two short ones this time, but maybe I'll have something up later. Actually, I'm planning that vacation, and trying to get some backlog stocked up...I didn't really talk about these figures, either, but I think we'll come back to them, OK?
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Much like the Playboy Mansion, you're never getting past the door at Wayne Manor:

Took a few minutes last night to try a few pictures with that Wayne Manor I picked up last weekend, and the DC Infinite Heroes Batman. I don't think he looks too bad with that, and I've been playing around with different things for the smaller scale: I keep meaning to try the Doomsday figure (from the pre-DCSH Superman line) that was a little small compared to the Superman in the same wave; with a DCIH Supes that he'll tower over. Doomsie will also be way more poseable, but still, worth a try.

I am also still really monkeying around with the lighting, especially with the smaller figures. It might be down to trial-and-error, but it's still fun.

I don't know how Indiana Jones comics are selling--I've only read a few since the Marvel Super Special edition of Raiders of the Lost Ark. (And every time I remember that one, I wish I had it and the Blade Runner one again: not that they were all that great, but they remind me of my Grandpa on my mom's side, since I'm pretty sure that's where I read those...) But wouldn't a forties Batman/Indiana Jones crossover, not unlike the Byrne Captain America/Batman one-shot, be something? Hell, throw Cap in there. Why not?

Hmm. I probably should've saved this post, to cover while I'm on vacation next month. Well, I'm sure I'll come up with something else between now and then. Maybe.
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A Monark Starstalker timetable:

1976, cover date October: Howard Chaykin's creation, Monark Starstalker, debuts in Marvel Premiere #32. Whether successful or not, or whether Chaykin planned on another story or not, this is Monark's only appearance. I was probably five years old at the time.

1986, cover date July: Portions of Marvel Premiere #32, along with numerous other examples of his work, appear in an Gary Groth interview with Chaykin in the Comics Journal #109. Starstalker is referred to, in editorial captions not directly from Chaykin, as "an abortive Marvel strip," but the reasons for its demise are not given. Even with illustrations, it's a thirty-three page interview.

Some time later, probably during the nineties: I somehow got a copy of Comics Journal #109. I have no idea how; I think I've maybe read the Journal in print twice in my life. That has nothing to do with the quality or attitude of the Journal, it was simply never readily available for me at comic shops or newstands. By the time I got this issue, I would've already been a fan of Chaykin's from the American Flagg! graphic novel Hard Times, his Blackhawk miniseries, maybe even Midnight Men for all I know.

June 1, 2009: I get a copy of Marvel Premiere #32, during a sale at the Comic Book Shop.

June 16, 2009: In Comic Book Resources' preview of Marvel's September 2009 solicitations, Monark Starstalker appears on the cover of Nova #29 Per the solicit:
NOVA #29
Written by DAN ABNETT & ANDY LANNING
Penciled by Kevin Sharpe
Cover by ADI GRANOV
"Starstalker" part 1 of 2! How has the aftermath of the War of Kings affected the newly reborn and viciously battered Nova Corps? When the universe is changed, who is left to protect and serve the innocents? Out of the devastation--and from Marvel's cosmic past--strides a mysterious new threat...and an unexpected ally! Find out who in the latest issue of the series that ComicPants.com calls, "a consistently entertaining and enjoyable read...If you haven't been reading Nova you are missing out on one of Marvels best written books."
32 PGS./Rated T+ ...$2.99

(Coincidentally enough, Howard Chaykin is in the same Marvel solicits, with a Dominic Fortune mini, a character that also appeared in Marvel Premiere and that I just bought recently!)

I'm looking forward to both of these; and I must confess, I like how Abnett and Lanning are expertly taking old Marvel sci-fi stuff like Starstalker, Bug of the Micronauts, Rocket Raccoon, Star-Lord, and more; folding them back into the Marvel Universe proper without wasting a lot of time on continuity issues. (You do have to wonder what happened to the rest of the Micronauts, or Rocket's old crew; or how Bug got big. Still, you tend to trust Abnett and Lanning not to pull a fast one and make Bug a Skrull or something...)

Monark Starstalker's next appearance will be just shy of thirty-three years from his last one. To put that into a little skewed perspective, from Marvel Premiere's tenure as a try-out book, everyone else from Woodgod to Seeker 3000 to Alice Cooper appeared more often since then.

Weirdworld fans, don't hold your breath...
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Misidentified robots, overambitious sharks, and the rest of last weekend.

Long time readers here will know I like hitting up yard sales for action figures and comic books, and am disappointed better than nine times out of ten. This weekend perseverance finally paid off, as I turned up multiple goodies, including a Wayne Manor/Batcave playset (from Batman: the Animated Series, not the Mego one that could be used to make a down payment on a real house...) a Jabba the Hutt; and this chap, whom I'm calling 'Fisty.' He's some Gundam with four fists and four feet; although damned if I could tell you why. I don't think he's from that crazy one with the windmill and mermaid robots...EDIT: It just occurred to me, I could take those shoulder-pointy things out, get some nice pens, and make a kickass desk set out of Fisty.

Also, I did find just a few old comics: usually, I'd post a link to GCD, but this issue isn't GCD-pretty and needs to be seen. Plus, I suppose it's ironic that it's water-damaged:

Look, I know full well Jaws was culturally huge in 1976--I was afraid of sharks, and I lived in Montana. (And was five, smartass.) But not only is that not a great cover, it only barely relates to the story within. I was kind of hoping a shark from Krypton made it's way to earth and super-powers. It's no worse an idea than Beppo...

Instead, it's Green Lantern bad guy the Shark, re-evolving himself back into his super-human form. Somehow. We've seen him before, facing off against most of the Justice League with a bunch of animal pals.

Uh, I'm not a scientist, but I'm pretty sure the Shark can't suck evolution juice or whatever out of a kid in order to re-power up. I was also unaware that Popeye-analog Captain Strong appeared in more than one issue, either. (Cap'n Strong is also accidentally called Superman during the denouement, too.) In the end, the Shark ends up back as an ordinary shark (an ordinary shark that will keep trying to re-evolve himself, though) and even then he still tries to take a final swipe at Supes.

Not a great comic, but still glad to have it. We'll probably look at more garage sale stuff later.
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Your Happenstance panel for today...

...is a recent one, a (maybe) spoiler-free panel from Final Crisis: Escape #2:

From "Pawns" Written by Ivan Brandon, pencils by Marco Rudy, inks by Mick Gray with Jack Purcell.

Even though I've not followed a lot of DC in a couple years, the premise for this one grabbed me. How do recap the first two issues of this one, since neither the readers, nor the main character, and possibly not the writer, have any idea where this is going? Here goes: Tom Tresser, a.k.a. Nemesis, master of disguise, former Suicide Squad operative, and current Wonder Woman boyfriend; is drugged and kidnapped. He wakes up in a mysterious faculty (that may or may not be named, "the Electric City"? Wasn't that in the solicits?) with faceless captors, OMAC-like watchers, and several other espionage agents, including Amanda Waller, Rick Flag, and Cameron Chase.

Or maybe he doesn't: people, places and things seem to shift from panel to panel. Nemesis may or may not even be Nemesis, or there might be more than one. Or he might be drugged to the gills and imagining most of this.

The Factual Opinion had a review, which among other things, pointed out "It's still got potential, which is weird, because it's a six issue mini-series and this is the second issue, so you'd imagine that it might be time for the potential to turn into pay-off, but hey, maybe that's just the way it's going to roll. " I think readers so far are giving this series a lot of rope, in the hopes that it pays off and doesn't hang itself. But it's early on, and there's still any number of ways it could stumble:

• The whole series could be a drug trip halluncination, with Nemesis fighting his way out of it in the last issue; meaning you just dropped eightteen bucks you could've spent on actual drugs...
• The whole series isn't an elaborate mindgame, it's an elaborate counter-mindgame; created out of Nemesis' imagination to keep his cover while being probed or interrogated.
• "Nemesis" isn't really Nemesis, and neither is anyone else: they're all OMAC-created simulacrums designed for either testing or replacing those characters.
• Every time the caption boxes use "Word Deleted" they're saying, "Beatrix Kiddo."
• So far they've avoided the trap of "Nemesis keeps escaping, and when he thinks he's clear, bam! He's right back where he started!" But if Nemesis becomes the new warden or jailer or whatever, suck.
• Three pages from the end, when things look darkest, the faceless keeper unmasks--gasp! Nemesis! He was three steps ahead all along!

Hopefully, I haven't guessed it, since those endings would be terrible.

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It's too soon for a Robocop remake, but I'd watch this:

Much as I love Robocop vs. Terminator, tell me the addition of a plucky little robot trash man wouldn't make it better. No? Well, this amused me, for some reason. The image of Wall*E crushing a T-800's metal skull in his compactor would make a great trailer, though...

I'm working on something else right now, but I need to make a note to try and find either new copies or the trade for Robocop vs. Terminator. I've mentioned it before, but still can't find it, so I'm positive I lent it out or something. Recently, there's been talk of remaking, probably rebooting, Robocop, but it feels premature. If they do go through with it, though, my gut feeling is that they absolutely can not have an American direct or write it. Seriously. Frank Miller did all right, but the satire aspect has to come from an outsider's point of view. How to put this? A foreigner can look at American commercials, then underline and exaggerate their worst aspects to mock them and the products they peddle. An American director would magnify and multiply those worst aspects, while still trying to place a product.

If there's a worse idea for a remake, it would be Blade Runner. On some news story at imdb.com somebody I'd never heard of said he wanted the Harrison Ford part. (Idiot! Rutger Hauer's character is the movie!) Bad, bad, bad idea. How could it be made better? You can't make it simpler, because that would destroy the mystique; and making it more complex would just be muddying the waters. It doesn't need more CGI or better production values: the city looks like hell and it should. What's left? More replicants? Deckard's troubled past? Explosions? Leave it be.

Shoot, wasn't I supposed to be working on something? Luckily, tomorrow's post is already done, so check back for a happenstance panel of a book you could and should run out and buy now...but don't blame me if it doesn't turn out...
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Re-evolution, killer shrews in space, and can I get a ride home?

Last time: the High Evolutionary had turned all the mutants on earth into normal humans, but the procedure was going to cause wild mutation in all life on earth, thanks to the involvement of Mr. Sinister. The powerless X-Men have less than a week to stop him. (Since they figure the Avengers, Fantastic Four, Power Pack, etc. will have their own problems and don't need to be bothered with every little thing.)

Fortunately, the X-Men have big piles of stolen alien crap from the Skrulls, the Shi'ar, etc. (Which begs the question, every time the Sentinels attack, why don't the X-Men whip out some of the ray guns and whatnot?) While they get ready, Mr. Sinister makes his own preparations: he wants to use the High Evolutionary's tech to make an army of New Men, evolved animals. H.E. tells M.S. to suck it, but Sinister just says he'll figure it out. How hard could it be?

More after the bump!


Rogue calls the jailed Mystique, who gets steamed that her foster daughter is siding with the X-Men over her. As the team works on a ship, most are anxious to get their powers back, when Wolverine arrives. Or most of him, anyway. Still dying of "adamantium poisoning," Logan had been willing to take one for the team if it meant other mutants like Marrow would be happy, but he's also ready to die fighting.


The ex-X-Men launch into space, and note that mutants apparently cope better with G-force nausea than normos do. Since the High Evolutionary is ostensibly peaceful, his satellite didn't have the weaponry to shoot them down, and Sinister is looking forward to comparing their powerless performance to previous records.

His New Men are supposedly mutated normal animals, but seem to include Gloop (or Gleep) from the Herculoids, Tweak from the classic Judge Dredd story "the Cursed Earth," and a snake-lizard guy in bright yellow pants and a big-S belt buckle. As everyone fights, Storm, Wolverine, and Kitty break away to try and find the station's power core; but Wolvie gets Sinister's scent--wait, did that still work?--and they decide to try to take him and the station's controls.

Sinister is pretty well prepared, though: he's got a Killer Shrew for Wolvie! (Or maybe a giant rat, but it's more fun to figure Sinister is an MST3K fan.) Wolvie fights his way to Sinister, who tries to burn him down with his nondescript ray-hands. Kitty realizes those blasts should've killed Wolvie outright, and deduces that nausea they all felt earlier wasn't g-forces, it was their powers starting back up. It dawns on Sinister that his powers still work there, maybe everyone else's would too...even scorched bald, Wolverine still has a prodigious amount of arm hair, and slices up an explody console.

The X-Men regroup to watch Logan heal slowly up, and the freed High Evolutionary says he's regressed all the New Men back into animals, Mr. Sinister just escaped in the X-Men's ship, and Wolverine didn't destroy the anti-mutation satellites: Wolvie just broke the Evolutionary out, and he destroyed his misused life's work. Back on earth, old mutants repower up: awkward for some like Jean Grey or the Blob, but awesome for others like Magneto or the now-incredibly pissed Mystique. And in space, the X-Men themselves return to normal, presumably as they wait to get a ride home.

It doesn't seem like the X-Men gave some of their depowered friends a heads-up: the sudden return of her powers could've very easily killed Jean, and it's likely Warren was in a public place when his powers came back. I like to think the Toad turned back into the Toad, in a scene reminiscent of the end of They Live...

Marrow sprouts horns from her forehead pretty quickly, and Nightcrawler looks like he's going to molt off his extra fingers, which is kind of gross. Did his tail just fall off when he lost his powers? This happens every once in a while at Marvel, like when Spidey grows or loses extra arms, and it's never quite clear.

Not a bad little yarn: entertaining, and relatively quick, even with a cast of dozens. Nowadays, a plot like this would be spun out into every book Marvel could, and then some miniseries tie-ins to boot; and while admittedly that might add some depth, or get to some characters and plots that got shortchanged (the Moonstar/Cable one is barely an afterthought) there is something to be said for the cheap, bare-bones and done story. If you can find it, all three issues were reprinted in X-Men Universe #8.
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If Blackest Night doesn't deliver some Hal vs. Guy fisticuffs, it has failed.

I recently picked up the Guy Gardner DC Infinite Heroes figure, at a substantial markdown: for $6.99 or more, you'd feel taken, but for $3.50 it's a lot more reasonable. It's in the three and three-quarter inch scale (or in that neighborhood) and not terrible, but certainly not amazing; but it has the virtue of being the first Guy Gardner figure for me.

Then, while reading some posts over at the ever-entertaining Green Lanterns' Butts Forever, I got to thinking about some old school Guy Gardner appearances. Not the oldest, but his return while Steve Englehart was writing the book. I've lost several of those issues, but to the best of my recollection, Englehart didn't give Guy a single redeeming, or endearing, characteristic. (Certainly not for a while, anyway; I don't think we saw other sides of Guy until his Justice League days.) While Guy may have had the excuse of being (quite literally) brain-damaged, he was a single-minded psychopath, willing to do anything in the service of the Guardians, in order to prove he was the greatest Green Lantern. And "anything" included working with super-villains, and attempting to murder Hal Jordan.

Sod, now I have to find that one: prior to becoming a Green Lantern again, Hal was using a power ring but not the costume. During the Crisis, Hal, Guy, and an army of super-villains attempt to destroy the positive matter spot on the moon of Qward in the anti-matter universe...yeah, that sounds more insane here. Doing so was supposed to destroy the Anti-Matter, but instead would've blown up reality or something. At one point, when Hal dissents, Guy takes his power ring, and leaves him to die in space. I don't remember it coming up much after that, and Hal was a lot less maverick in those issues, so it's not like he'd just let it slide; Englehart may have realized he went too far there.

Well, maybe we'll dig those up again sometime. These figures are all from the DC Infinite Heroes line, and as such are smaller than I usually work with. None of them are quite as poseable, either; and you can judge for yourself on the paint. But, I have been thinking about how these smaller figures are going to look as a group, and how they might look with other figures; which we might get to Friday. If we're lucky.

Oh, and Ollie socking Hawkman in the kisser? It's traditional. I don't know if they ever actually came to blows in the classic satellite era Justice League of America, but they did not get along. Carter was a conservative voice of reason, or a fascist just-following-orders tool; and Ollie was a liberal dreamer fighting for change, or a blowhard asshole. Depending on who was writing them, I suppose. We may come back to that, as well.
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The Enterprise doesn't carry enough red shirts to take on Rann.

In the new Star Trek movie, there could be any number of valid in-story reasons to use parachutes instead of jetpacks: their energy signature could be detected, they might not have the power to decelerate from orbit and still fly around, most humans may not have the necessary reflexes to use them effectively. That and if Kirk threw on a jetpack, it would have to be a pretty damn exciting scene or viewers are going to be thinking Buck Rogers or Rocketeer.

And although I like the idea of Adam Strange, I have relatively few of his appearances. I've read some of his most recent miniseries, and a good chunk of his Justice League showings; ranging all the way from Justice League of America to JLA to Justice League Adventures. I did enjoy his one-shot, where Grant Morrison points out that his adopted homeworld of Rann is ludicrously dangerous, but I've only seen a few of his 52 issues, and nothing since.

Both of these figures are three-and-three-quarter inch scale, or thereabouts; a scale I'm still resisting against. At least at full price. More on these figures tomorrow, though, and a new strip! See you then.
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