A World without Christmas...and without Superboy, which might be worse.

I don't usually hit seasonal comics anywhere near their proper seasons, but I stumbled across this issue last week and it was too perfect. If only it was any good...from 1983, the New Adventures of Superboy #39, "A World Without Christmas!" Written by Paul Kupperberg, art by Kurt Schaffenberger.

With his parents called away suddenly at Christmas (for reasons that may or may not have ever been brought up again) Clark's classmate Bash is staying with the Kents over the holiday, and seems to be somewhat lacking in holiday spirit. Even the prospect of a pity-smooch from Lana isn't helping! To his credit, Bash knows it's mostly just a bad mood, but he does feel Christmas has become too commercial and plastic; and depending on what year this book is set, he either has a valid point or really should've noticed that some time ago. Clark changes into Superboy, taking it upon himself to cheer the kid up, by drastic means if need be. Like taking Bash to an alternate universe.

Superboy's narration mentions his recent discovery of "a whole slew of alternate earths that exists parallel to this one!" And by God Rao, once Superboy discovers he can do something, he is going to do it at any possible opportunity. Wrapping Bash up in his cape, Superboy flies him to an alternate earth without Christmas!...how the hell would you find something like that? Are they clearly marked? Evil universe, gender-swapped universe, funny-animal universe...no-Christmas universe!

The alternate Smallville is a shambles, with terrible smog, armed and violent locals (including a small child in short pants with a spear) and a cowardly Clark Kent! It's weird for Superboy to see a Clark that's as scaredy-cat as he has to act, but isn't it weirder that this universe doesn't have a Superboy yet somehow made it's own Clark Kent? Moreover, whenever I read stories like this, I wonder how the hell this no-Christmas world hasn't been hit by a stray asteroid or shrunk into a bottle by Brainiac or destroyed by any of the myriad disasters Superboy had already saved his earth from in his short career? And now I'm legitimately surprised our earth is still here.

As alt-Pa Kent explains to Superboy that peace-loving types like himself face constant violence from the rest of society, Bash teaches some of them Christmas carols. Seriously. He's glad that even in this situation, some people still help their fellow man. The leader of the peace-types (who turns out to be alt-Bash) thanks them for their help, but says they have to spread their message of peace themselves or they're lost. Still, they will remember Superboy's help every year...on December 25th!

Man, and I thought the Christ-imagery in Man of Steel was overdone.


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"Miner 3049'er."

...did I ever play Miner 2049er? Not to the best of my knowledge. But I did end up with a couple extra Lego minifigure Space Miner guys for myself and the Youngest. Well, not really extra, I thought they were cool; even though in popular fiction "space miner" seems like a more hazardous occupation than Camp Crystal Lake swim coach.

The red spaceman in the background of the third panel is mine, from a gazillion years ago; still pulling some active duty with the Youngest.

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I'd call this a coping mechanism, but it's actually pretty close to normal, so...

Things are coming back to whatever normal is going to be around here (and thanks to everyone for the kind words!) just in time for me to leave for Montana for the weekend. Or "Christmas," since it falls on Thursday, and I still have to work on Friday. Sigh. Anyway, it's easier to go see the family and open some presents now; then to try and drive up Christmas Eve and back Christmas.

Still, after having lunch with my sons yesterday, we made it to Hastings and the NECA/Warner Brothers Batman '89 Blu-Ray and figure combo was waiting for me. Glad to get that without postage, although is the Blu-Ray the fanciest of fancy-pants editions? Ah, it's probably good enough. I do want to give Bats a good soak in hot water before trying the joints, and don't have time for that yet. I also found a good pile of DC's recent Future's End event, with their lenticular (it's a word, spellcheck!) covers. Fancy!...sure to make up for any lost DVD fanciness, then. For ninety-nine cents each (rather than the $3.99 cover) I'm willing to give them a shot; although so far...

It's not that they're bad, but the event is set five years in the future, and apparently after wars and disasters and death, several heroes are now outright villains now, and no one seems to like anyone else anymore. Teams, couples, partnerships; all broken up. Which isn't that surprising, since just about everyone seems like a humorless dick. At best. The DC Universe is kind of a glum place these days. And yet, after picking up ten of these on the cheap, I'm wondering how many of the rest I can get. It's a problem. Have a good weekend!
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"Sinisters."

The last issue of Superior Foes of Spider-Man came out a couple of weeks back, but I have to say I'm still digesting it. There's a bit of a new status quo that may or may not be followed up on; but even if it's not, it wouldn't take away from the book. I've already heard one person say, Sony should consider a Superior Foes movie instead of a Sinister Six...

Is this the first strip here with the Constrictor? Man, his tentacle-whip things are kind of useless. It's definitely the first strip for Wolvie's kid Daken, since I got him on the cheap earlier this year, yet hadn't bothered to open him yet. Will he turn up again? Enh...
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Taking a couple days.

Sam, my dog and my friend for over 11 years, died last week after a brief illness. He had been on antibiotics, but seemed to just give up eating. I was there for him in the end, but it was rough.

I had to have him cremated, since I'm not going to be able to have him buried right away. But I think I might have to get these two pictures of him printed and framed for a little memorial for him. (That and the dog hair I'll have forever!) Sam was with me for years, longer than this blog, and was there for me when I had no one. He will be missed--I keep thinking I have to let him out, and probably will for a while.

The regular weekly strip will post Wednesday, and hopefully I'll have something else later this week.
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Now, if I find the ones I already bought...

The local comic shop knows if they put a full run of a limited series in the dollar bin, I'll usually grab it right up. But every once in a while other stores come through, too; although now I think I should have a tag for when I buy an issue I already have because it's right there and it's easier than trying to find it. But this was still cheaper than the trade: from 2008, Batman Confidential #17-21, "The Cat and the Bat" Written by Fabian Nicieza, art by Kevin Maguire.

This was a five issue arc, billed as the first meeting of Catwoman and Batgirl. As Barbara Gordon, Batgirl borrows a notebook of her dad's, Commissioner Gordon; which Catwoman promptly steals. Batgirl had been trying to figure out the coded notes in order to see if Gordon knew anything about Batman's secret identity, but hadn't been able to crack it, so it could be anything. After a chase sequence running a couple of issues and through a nudist club, Catwoman explains she needs the notebook to save a life, and they team-up against the Russian mob; which has brought a big-name Batman villain in to decipher the code. Eventually Batman shows up, not super-impressed with the whole thing.

I think I actually bought the third and fourth issues a couple of weeks back, and had the fifth one somewhere...but it's nicer to have them all together at once. Grabbed all five at a Hastings for ninety-nine cents an issue, and a steal at that price!
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"Glom onto something."

I actually messed up on the first panel, right out of the gate; which is surprising since it's appallingly labor intensive to fill in the yellow balloons. Like breaking rocks.

Glom is Glomulus, a rather good-sized pack-in with the Larfleeze DC Universe Action League. I kind of thought Glomulus might've been packed in with the larger DC Universe figure, but he appears to be unique here. And finding him led to the usual sci-fi energy-draining alien storyline! Yay! Now if Kurt and Pool could figure their way out of it...


POOL: You take care of that last ship?
KURT: Yeah, we got it. You get the boarders?

POOL: Yeah.
KURT: As usual, I already regret asking, but...what?

POOL: Ah, it was just a little disappointing.
POOL: I thought it was going to be a cool, zero-g shootout; but they were using magnetic boots. And I thought the blood would go splurting out of them in cool blobs, but it either cauterized or froze.

KURT: Star Trek VI?
POOL: Yeah.
POOL: Plus, the last one got a lucky shot and blew out my helmet, and my eyes froze before I got back in. Not super-comfortable, healing factor or no.

POOL: Anyway, Amy? There's a bunch of bodies in sector six or whatever, stuck to the floor by their boots. Probably a lotta frozen blood, too.
AMY: I'll take care of it, sure--

GLOMULUS: GLOM!
AMY: HOLY ####!
KURT: What is that?

GLOMULUS: GLOM!
POOL: Oh, him? Yeah, he followed me back. Some kind of space ghost. Well, not like Space Ghost, but you know what I mean. I don't think it came with the boarders...he might be from outside.

GLOMULUS: GLOM!
POOL: Anyway, I call him Carl. He looks like a Carl, don't you think?
KURT: He looks dangerous. That thing can't be safe.

POOL: Nah, he's like Slimer, man. Harmless and cute comedy relief. We could do with some, y'ask me.
AMY: Um, well, its an energy being. Non-biological. So that aspect is safe...

GLOMULUS: GLOM!
AMY: ...except it would almost certainly drain energy from the drives.
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Cool cover on this one, though.

We took a day off yesterday, and we're just taking a quick one today: from 1977, Wonder Woman #233, "Seadeath!" Written by Gerry Conway, pencils by Don Heck, inks by Vince Colletta.

This issue was set in World War II, and opens with Wonder Woman beating up a batch of German saboteurs, one of whom under the golden lasso tells Wondy their contact was code-named "Armageddon." Later, after a merchant marine ship is destroyed by whales, a U-boat machine-guns the survivors, and Wondy's invisible jet is swamped by a school of flying fish. (Are flying fish anything like they were portrayed in old comics like Aquaman? Short answer? Noooooooo.) Captured by the U-boat, W

Captured by the U-boat, Wonder Woman is tied to an anchor and shot out a torpedo tube, but then gets free and does a pretty good job of smashing up the U-boat, before she's attacked by a monstrous, leviathan of a sea creature. Who is controlling the whales and the monster? Are they connected to "Armageddon"? What about the wounded Steve Trevor, captured by men working for Armageddon? Well, like I've mentioned before, I'm not sure I have two issues of Wonder Woman in a row, so it might be a while before we see!
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The cards never lie, but I apparently might...

I was going to continue my completely random totally planned week of comics featuring Tarot cards with two issues, and one of them features instead of Tarot cards, a less...traditional fortune-telling tool on the cover: "The litter never lies...your fate is sealed!"

From 1997, Major Bummer #3, "Alone Against the Other Guys!" Written by John Arcudi, pencils by Doug Mahnke, inks by Tom Nguyen. The alien "grad students" that gave Lou Martin superpowers (by mistake...) give more powers to a batch of thugs and their loquacious mugger, because their grad thesis is apparently let's you and them fight! Actually, the aliens mostly just want to see Lou get his ass beat; with mixed results since the assorted thugs are generally as incompetent as everyone else here.

Lou tries to get out of it, but ends up in a fight scene with his wannabe superhero friends. They win when the villains accidentally create a sinkhole, but they'll be back.

Alright, no Tarot cards this issue, so how about this one? From 2005, Nightcrawler #8, "The Winding Way, part 2 of 5: Dark Carnival" Written by Roberto Acuirre-Sacasa, pencils by Darick Robertson, inks by Jimmy Palmiotti.

After surviving an attack by Vermin, and a bunch of hallucinations; Nightcrawler (with love-interest-that-really-didn't-go-anywhere Nurse Christine and here-for-sales Wolverine) goes to Germany, where weird happenings are maybe starting, after a bunch of flashbacks.

Kurt remembers his childhood in the circus, discovering his adopted-mom Margali was training as a sorceress, his adopted brother Stephen was worried about turning evil, and his adopted sister Jimaine (or Amanda) was looking hot. Good times. But no Tarot cards in this actual issue! See, that's why I do this stuff randomly...
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Continuing an unintended theme, more Tarot cards...

We've mentioned the A.B.C. Warriors before, and I continue to randomly stumble into non-sequential reprints of the robots. Today's story (Script by Pat Mills, art by Kevin O'Neill) was reprinted in 1987's Quality Comics Rogue Trooper #5, but mentions the next chapter would appear in an entirely different title, Sam Slade #6! Crap, I actually think I have that...it has a short Alan Moore/Steve Dillon story that I don't think was very good.

This episode introduces Deadlock, Grand Wizard (an unfortunate title...) of the Knights Martial; robots with strange powers and disciplines that A.B.C. Warrior Hammerstein describes as "making the rest of us look like Robbie the Robot!" Who also had a lot of weird powers, if I remember Forbidden Planet correctly...Deadlock tells Hammerstein that he foresaw his coming in the Tarot cards, and will join him, if Hammerstein can defeat him in a tournament. The next issue blurb teases "the secret powers of Deadlock!" so I'm guessing it wasn't gonna be a walk in the park.

Well, now if I can find another random issue with Tarot cards for the week...

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"'Silent' Interlude."

There actually have been a couple mostly silent issues of Deadpool--I know Priest did one (#42, the "homage" to the G.I Joe silent issue #21) before the "Nuff Said" month in 2002 that was all silent issues. (#61, the first chapter of "Funeral for a Freak," written by Frank Tieri.)

We may come back to this, since I figure to Deadpool, space is about as silent as your typical sci-fi space movie is; chock full of laser and explosion noises, and quite possibly a soundtrack.

It's weird: I finally get a Marvel Select Thanos (which all but insures a Marvel Legend version to be released in six months...) and I use the pack-in Death figure first!
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Which Tarot card symbolizes "abject poverty" again?

We mentioned the Tarot-reading Madame X a week or so back, without scanning any of her Tarot cards. So why not check out some Justice League of America Tarot cards? From 1981, Justice League of America #194, "Destiny is a Stacked Deck" Written by Gerry Conway, pencils by George Perez, inks by John Beatty.

Separately and together, several Leaguers are attacked by forces out of the Major Arcana of Tarot symbology, like the Hermit, the Magus, and the Fool. Zatanna knows what they represent right away, and although she's temporarily struck blind by the Devil, she's still able to track the Tarot's "Ectoplasmic trail" to long-time JLA bad guy Amos Fortune. (I'm sure he's appeared somewhere other than JLA, but I'm hard-pressed to tell you where...!)

Amos Fortune is by no means an A-list villain, and this isn't an A-list plot. It may in fact have been killing time waiting for next month's JLA/JSA event. But George Perez can still carry that one a long way.

Meanwhile, yesterday I had to take my dog to the vet, since he's been a bit listless and lost some weight. Then he fought me like Mike Tyson in his heyday to avoid giving blood. He wouldn't even give a urine sample freely, and that dog would pee constantly if he could. Generally, he's the worst dog-patient in the world, and I think I remember why every time I take him to the vet, I only take him once before I have to find another vet. Embarrassing. Anyway, he's got a ton of pills to look forward to, that should hopefully do him some good. If not, I'll have to take them--they cost me enough, somebody's eating those pills.
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What's cooler than cool? A psychotic break, apparently...

I'd read Johnny Nemo stories before, and the futuristic private eye always seemed cool as the proverbial cucumber, almost clinically detached. This issue, he has a nightmare about his parents being murdered--think less Batman, more general annoyance--and seems to completely lose it in the end, declaring himself "the bleached god of chaos and destruction." That doesn't seem like the sort of thing you calm down from and go home...

From 1986, The Johnny Nemo Magazine, "New London Pride" Written by Peter Milligan, art by Brett Ewins and Steve Dillon. I read the previous Milligan miniseries Strange Days, but I would've sworn I saw Nemo stories somewhere else. But while I know I haven't read everything Milligan's done, he still has a pretty good hit to miss ratio for me.
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