Yeah, this Green Hornet would need a few rewrites...

Last week, Comics Alliance had a contest for your weirdest dreams about comics. I couldn't think of anything at the time, but since I have today off, I was able to sleep in; and doing so, I had a weird dream about Green Hornet.

Keep in mind, I know of the Hornet, but aside from the movie trailer, I don't think I've ever watched an episode of the show or read one of the comics. The Hornet was trying to protect his dad, in a big downtown L.A. hotel, from an army of cloned thugs. His dad recognized him immediately, since that's not much of a mask, and wanted him to "quit being stupid" and give him up, since he didn't want to see his son killed.

The bad guy, was Courtney Love. And she apparently had the powers of Marvel's Absorbing Man, and wasn't a character, she was playing herself. At one point, as the Hornet sits on her back and smashes her face in the carpet, to keep her from using her powers, he says, "Oh, it's not the worst thing you've ever had on you, you're Courtney Love!" Eventually, the Hornet wraps Courtney up in Christmas paper, and stuffs her in a locker. (I know I saw Thor do something similar before.)

The cloned goons are programmed to self-destruct after they hear a certain song, and the Hornet's discovered it. Since there are wedding parties in the hotel, there are DJs, and he gets them all to play the song...Will Smith's "Summertime." (The DJ's are much less anxious to help when they learn the song.) The clones won't destruct until after hearing the whole song, though, so the Hornet has to fight them for the duration. He isn't helped by DJ's remixing the hell out of it; but eventually Kato arrives to start busting heads.

Anyway, have a good holiday!
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Context is for other comics, now is fighty time.

Since I've been running through the chapters of "Blood and Thunder" that I have, mostly the Silver Surfer ones, here's part ten: "Common Enemy" Written by Ron Marz, guest pencils by Andy Smith, inks by Tom Christopher.

Pip the Troll narrates this issue, having dropped the Silver Surfer, the really insane Thor, and his formerly imaginary girlfriend the Valkyrie in Thanos's stronghold. Pip is pretty together, considering, as he mentions, Thanos killed him once: Technically, I think Thanos just lobotomized him, back in the classic Jim Starlin Avengers Annual #7 or so. The Valkyrie is a figment of Thor's imagination, but somehow manifested in reality then took a physical form through Moondragon's mind gem. (She came to life. Good for her.)

Thanos's robots hold off Thor and Valkyrie long enough for Pip to explain the situation, and a disgruntled Thanos has little choice but to take on Thor while the Surfer holds off the Valkyrie. But Thor got the Power Gem away from Drax the Destroyer, and lays down a beating on the Titan. For his part, Thanos can take it, and dish it right back. (Without giving anything away, I think Thanos had an ace in the hole at that time...)

The Surfer manages to knock out the Valkyrie, in time to see Thanos walk away from the fight. An extraordinarily pissed-off Thor, calling Thanos a "recreant," is about to beat the finish off of the Surfer, before Thanos returns with a Cable-sized gun. (Actually, it's not that big...) The blast encases Thor in a crystal block, completely immobilized.


As the Surfer begrudgingly turns to thank Thanos, Thanos turns the gun on him; but sadly laments it's a single-shot weapon. Thanos tells the Surfer that while he may not be trying to get ultimate power anymore, he still shouldn't turn his back on him. Pip then arrives with the Infinity Watch and Dr. Strange, and Thanos repeats the earlier bit about killing Pip, namely, that he'd love to do it again. But, the field holding Thor won't last forever, and they need to figure out what to do with him before he gets loose and kills them all...

This is one of my favorite stretches for Thanos: he had done the ultimate evil thing, and more than once shot himself in the foot doing it. So, rather than keep doing what wasn't working, he moved on to something else...but he was still Thanos. And I love the sheer spite between Thanos and the Silver Surfer, set up by Starlin prior to Infinity Gauntlet. The Surfer was usually portrayed as level-headed and a bit emotionless, but he really doesn't like Thanos. At all.

The next chapter's write-up probably won't be until 2011, since next week should be something else!


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This is why the Legion keeps 30+members around...

I got Validus's leg from eBay the other day; which not only completed the mighty Collect-and-Connect, but also added to the list of DCUC Teen Titans that I skipped buying. I didn't get Robin, Starfire, Cyborg, Beast Boy, Wonder Girl, and now Raven; so I passed on the core Wolfman/Perez group. I wouldn't have Kid Flash, if I hadn't picked him up for $2.80. The only other Titan that I think I do have is the new Blue Beetle, and he was a bargain purchase as well.

I also got Zatanna a week or two back; and just yesterday at Wal-Mart there were a ton of their exclusive DCUC Wave 14. Enough that I'm hoping for a markdown after Christmas, and I might end up with the Ultra-Humanite after all.

Validus stands really well, too: that was the last shot I set up on the weekend, and he's still holding those two! No sag on him! We may have to see if anyone can defeat him next Wednesday...also next week, for the last bit of the year, our second annual "The End" Week! We'll be checking out another pile of last issues, from books that wrapped everything up nicely, books that never had a chance, books that came back again and again, and books that you might not remember at all. How many last issues? As many as I can get finished!

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Sometimes, I post things here because they're favorites I want to remember later. And sometimes, I post things for reference, usually for homemade strips down the line. Today, I'm posting reference after I finished the work, but what the hell; here's Nth Man using his reverse-gravity trick:

This is definitely an odd duck: Excalibur #27, "Reel People" Written by Chris Claremont, art by Barry Windsor-Smith and Bill Sienkiewicz. Guest starring Larry Hama and Ron Wagner's Nth Man, the Ultimate Ninja. Disturbingly, I don't think they're credited in this one...

Captain Britain and Psylocke's brother Jaime, a lunatic with reality-warping powers, opens a portal in his TV to the reality of the Nth Man, which is currently in "the midst of a non-nuclear World War III, courtesy of a self-styled 'all-powerful, all-compassionate' super-being named Alfie O'Meagan." Rachel explains all that, when she telepathically scans Alfie's psychologist Dr. Goodstroke, who just appeared out of nowhere.

Rachel's still a bit down, since Excalibur recently returned to their world, but without Kitty Pryde. (Who's actually already there on earth, and thinks they're lost as well...this is well before Twitter, or they would've figured it out sooner.) Nightcrawler borrows a costume from a movie set's wardrobe, to try and cheer her up, then turns into Spiral, who had tricked Rachel before...maybe. Kurt and Rachel are then sent to the Nth Man's world, while Nth Man John Doe and KGB Colonel Novikova have to fight the rest of Excalibur.

In the Nth Man's world, Excalibur is a comic book, so he recognizes the characters, but figures this isn't Alfie's doing. Meanwhile, while Rachel brutalizes Alfie, Kurt tries to get Jaime to stop this, but he doesn't really have a better nature to appeal to. In fact, Jaime doesn't believe anything, anywhere, is real except for him; so he has no problem with killing Nightcrawler for the sake of drama. (Just like Marvel, apparently...) Kurt 'ports away, but Jaime's hand hits the remote control and rewinds himself back.

On the movie set (for "the 'Nam" movie, and the director may have been a nod to Hama) everyone involved is sternly lectured by the director for wrecking up his set. Meanwhile, Kurt realizes the remote has control over time, which was a bit old even then, but pushes "Cancel" and resets everything to where it should be.

I'm curious about the behind-the-scenes for this issue: did Nth Man just grab Claremont's fancy, so he decided to do a quick crossover? Or was this suggested, or even forced on him? (I doubt the latter.) Maybe a favor for Hama? And Bill Sienkiewicz inking Barry Windsor-Smith! Pretty high end for a lower-tier X-book, although I admit it may be a bit scratchy for some readers' tastes.

I had the last issue of Nth Man, bought from a store I worked at during the summer. It was also the only issue I bought new, even if it was the conclusion. It's a pretty good wrapup, although I suspect Hama always had that ending in mind, even if the book had run for 200 issues. I also wonder if maybe Marvel hadn't wanted another G.I. Joe from Hama, and instead they got an idiosyncratic action book that swiped from Marvel (Alfie appears as Galactus, and turns Dr. Goodstroke into a Silver Surfer at one point.) but owed more to action books like the Destroyer. While it may not have broken big, it's at least interesting, so hit up those quarter bins for Nth Man.
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You don't have to hum 'Oh Tannenbaum' while you read it, but I won't stop you...

I don't think I have a new Christmas strip for this year, but we do have a very special holiday Bastards of the Universe at Poe Ghostal's Points of Articulation! Check it out, and merry whatever!

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His name is "Unconquered," not "Uncancelled."

Whatever else you might say about Claw, the Unconquered, you can't say DC didn't give him chances. He got his own series in 1975, fought off cancellation around issue #10, but was finally out with issue #12. (There's a nice summary from writer David Michelinie in #10, the issue we're looking at today.) But Claw wasn't done yet. What I figure was probably intended as his last issue, was instead folded into a back-up feature in Warlord #48.

(Hey! I wrote up Warlord #48, about a bazillion years ago!)

Many years later, a Claw, not the Claw of earlier appearances; would appear in the post-Zero Hour book Primal Force. I have a couple issues of that one, and still couldn't tell you who was on that team. Jack O'Lantern and I think the soulless robot automaton version of Red Tornado...the book lasted fourteen issues.

Surely, that would be the last we'd see of Claw? No! He would get another series from Wildstorm, and a crossover, Red Sonja/Claw: The Devil's Hands! With an Alex Ross cover, if you can believe it! And, um, so far that's been the last we've seen of Claw...not even! Claw has since turned up in Wonder Woman and Time Masters. Good for him.


What's the enduring appeal of Claw, even if it's never translated into sales? Well, he's basically Conan with a demon hand. He's usually portrayed with a little more armor than Conan was in the old Marvel books; but I always thought Claw needed a different haircut or a helmet or something to differentiate him a bit from Conan, or Kull for that matter.

There's something to the idea, but I think DC's been going the wrong way with trying to break him big: even without a ton of name recognition, Claw should be a lock for a DC Universe Classics figure. Reckon he'd have some cross-sell with the Masters of the Universe fans as well; and he'd be pretty easy to make: basic body, a little armor, sword, switchable hands--plain human, metal gauntlet, and unleashed demon hand. You're welcome, Mattel!

From Claw, the Unconquered #10, "The Eater of Souls!" Written by David Michelinie, art by John Celardo and Keith Giffen.
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Not to seem down on Christmas, but...

Not a very good day, Thursday. I'm not going to go into it, but not the best day ever. So, when I had a minute, I went to a big ol' pile of comic book comfort food: my pile of Evan Dorkin comics, specifically Dork! and Milk and Cheese. One of my favorites, and a seasonal strip at that, after the break! This one's puerile, juvenile, vulgar, and sacrilegious, and I still love it. Ho ho ho...

From Evan Dorkin's Milk & Cheese's 3rd number one; "Cheesus Christ all Milky!"



I would personally love it if Dorkin was still cranking out an issue or two a year; but it seems like it's been a while. Still, these still make me feel better on a day like today, and for that I thank him. Things'll get better, hope you all aren't woefully offended by this one, and go see Tron this weekend!

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Adam's imaginary staff vs. Thor's imaginary girlfriend:

So far I've read them out of order, written about them out of order, possibly posted them out of order; and now I just recently picked up from the quarter box two chapters of Blood and ThunderI hadn't read before. Today, part four, "Clash" from Warlock and the Infinity Watch #23. Written by Jim Starlin, pencils by Tom Grindberg, inks by Bob Almond and Harry Canelario.

Picking up from the last chapter, Thor and his imaginary girlfriend the Valkyrie (misspelled on the third page!) have just walloped the Silver Surfer; but Adam Warlock and Pip the Troll just showed up. They really could've used a footnote here: Warlock wants to help the insane Thor, even though Thor nearly beat him to death way back in Thor #166.

Warlock sends Pip to get the rest of his Infinity Watch, then asks Thor why his only remaining friend isn't even real. Adam can see the Valkyrie with his Soul Gem, but the gem doesn't affect her, since she's merely a "mental construct." Rrrrreally shouldn't call a guy's girl that, and Thor takes offense.

Possibly a little afraid, Warlock admits to himself that he's no longer the man he was the first time he fought Thor: he was more naive, more physical, and more shirtless back then. This Warlock fights with far more guile, staying ahead of Thor until the Surfer regains consciousness. For his part, the Surfer is a little suspicious of Adam, since he considers him a bit shifty, not an unfair assessment.


At one point in the fight, Thor takes away Adam's staff-walking stick thing, and tries to break it, to no effect. Is that new? Hadn't seen that before.

Then, as part of the book's regular plotline, we get a few pages of big bad Count Abyss putting his evil plan against Warlock into motion. I have no idea what he's up to, or if he's been seen lately; and he kind of looks like he should be giving He-Man or the Thundercats the hassle.

While Adam knows he and the Surfer are no match physically for Thor, he gambles that a karmic blast from his Soul Gem could knock him out. No dice. Thor knocks the Surfer out, and Warlock is forced to take control of his board to get them out of there. The Surfer isn't really OK with that, but considering they would've died otherwise...Warlock, always practical, has their next course of action:

I don't think I have the next chapter, although we'll pick up another one later. Still, and I don't know if Blood and Thunder was ever collected, but the contrast between Andy Smith and Tom Grindberg's art, along with the artists for the other two books involved, could have been jarring.
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I didn't think I was a Tron fan, yet here we are.

Hmm. I know I saw the original Tron in the theatre when I was a kid (I mainly recall the cheer for the 3-second Pac-Man cameo) and read the Brian Daley adaptation of the movie. I wasn't great at the original Tron game, being particularly bad at the lightcycle stage. I liked the later Discs of Tron better.

I never had the Tron figures from 1982 as a kid, but years later I got the 20th anniversary reissues (for a steep discount) and then Mercury (the girl) and Jet (the guy) from Tron 2.0 in 2003. All from NECA, although I believe the old ones were made by Tomy.


And the new Sam Flynn figure, I got for half-off at the Wal-Mart by my work, which for some reason, doesn't seem to be carrying the pile of Tron: Legacy stuff other stores are. Sam was the only one they had, and he was immediately clearanced. Weird. It's a gimmicky figure, with the voice chip and light-up moving face; but it's a pretty good gimmick.


The last time I tried to watch Tron, was over at a friend's house, and I fell asleep. To be fair, that was pretty late and after a hard night drinking borderline completely abusively; but I don't think any of us finished it that time. If it wasn't for the novel and the South Park episode "You Have 0 Friends" my recollection of Tron would be a lot fuzzier. But I am looking forward to seeing Tron: Legacy, even if I'm probably not going to be there first in line...


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No animals were harmed during this post. Really, this time.

I had a pretty good run of Sandman Mystery Theatre at one point, but I think I sold it before a move. And of course, now I wish I hadn't. Recently, I've run across more than a couple batches of that series in the quarter bins, and while tempting, it usually (maybe even always?) ran in four-issue arcs, and is too hard to put together. I could pull ten issues for $2.50 right now, but none in order! Somehow, they would all be part three of four. Like this one!


This copy of Sandman Mystery Theatre #3 is in pretty bad shape, but still not a bad read. Wesley Dodds, the titular Sandman, is pretty new to the mystery-man game; and has only recently just met his future wife Dian. Their relationship is a big part of the book, along with some frankly grisly crimes, and great art by Guy Davis, who would go on to draw the hell out of B.P.R.D. This issue was written by Matt Wagner, with a photo-cover by Gavin Wilson.

This will make me sound like a bad comics fan, but I've never read all of Gaiman's Sandman. Wes is usually the Sandman I think of first, and although I know I've read Justice League of America and Justice Society issues with him, they were always of him as an enfeebled old man: this series is what gives him his due. Most of Sandman Mystery Theatre appears to be in trade, but I'm not sure about all of it.

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Even though I had other posts scheduled, I still missed last Friday, since I was down with a pretty bad cold. But, one 2-liter bottle of generic Nyquil later, and we're back in business! Today, we've got a Batman comic overshadowed by it's back-up feature: Detective Comics #449, "Midnight Rustler of Gotham City!" Written by Elliot S! Maggin, pencils by Ernie Chan (spelled Chua here) and Jose Garcia-Lopez.


With Gotham City in the middle of a "meat shortage," Batman is investigating a string of cattle rustling, using a scuba-jet thing to swim out to a cattle boat. The rustler has the drop on Bats, but has a misfire, and Bats brings him in. The rustler's name is Tad Wolfe, and while being processed, his twin brother Zachary shows up to yell at him. Zachary was a trucking millionaire, and part of Bruce Wayne's social circle; but Wayne is having dreams about an old medicine chief he met in New Mexico and Tad's misfire.

Batman goes to Zachary's, and hears him on the radio giving instructions. Desperately, he tries to order his men to unload their cargo before Batman slugs him. The cargo, of course, is the stolen cattle; and Batman has to help out rounding them up.


And the rest of the story doesn't make a lot of sense: Tad had been in debt to the mob, and Zach called in the tip to get him put in jail for protection. Tad had faked the misfire, which doesn't seem like it helped him any. Maybe he wasn't a killer, but I'm pretty sure shooting Batman gets you a lot of credit in Gotham; and I don't know how much protection prison would get him, either. For some reason, I thought there would be a twin-swap in there, too.

OK, so not a Bat-classic. But the back-up's a bit stronger:

"The Mystery Man Who Walked on Air!" Story by Mary Skrenes, art by Dick Giordano. On a second honeymoon, Ralph and Sue encounter a funny old man, who flies with a bird, and swims with a fish. Three seconds on Google and you can find the answer to this one, but I think this might've been the first Elongated Man story based on his birthday mysteries, set up by his friends to challenge him.

I thought this one had been reprinted more than once, too: I had it in a DC Digest. By the way, Ralph solves it...but by misreading a clue!



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Not quite 23 pages of pummelling, but close:

Sometimes, the writers in a big crossover event are unwilling participants, dragged into a huge multi-book event while their own plotlines are derailed. (This happens to Peter David all the time.) And sometimes, the crossover writer and the book's writer are the same guy; and in this case, the foundation is laid for a future crossover. From Warlock and the Infinity Watch #21, "The God and the Brute" Written by Jim Starlin, pencils by Tom Grindberg, inks by Bob Almond.

Running up to the end of Infinity Crusade, the Hulk and Drax are part of the assault on the Goddess's Paradise Omega, when they run into Thor. Knocked away and unable to fly, the Hulk recaps the crossover while falling into the planet's atmosphere.

While currently severely brain-damaged, Drax the Destroyer was still pretty tough, and he also had the Infinity Gem for power. Moondragon, working as the Goddess's "temporal-head," tries to get Thor to leave the pointless battle, but Thor refuses. In fact, Thor also breaks the Goddess's control...but keeps fighting Drax. Moondragon reports to the Goddess, who isn't surprised; explaining that Thor's spirit is too strong to tame (which Moondragon is curious about...) but that Thor is also quite insane. Still, the Rapture is only minutes away...


Thor and Drax wail on each other most of the rest of the issue. Drax may have been simple, but he had a single-minded determination, possibly a throwback to his old Thanos-fighting days. And Thor isn't acting like himself, being smug, brutal, and just as determined as Drax. That fight may have continued to this day...if the sun hadn't gone nova...


I don't know what Grindberg has been doing lately; but I kind of like his Mignola-style work here. The already exaggerated physiques of Thor and Drax are turned up well past eleven here; which may or may not be to everyone's taste. This was a quarter-book find, along with some of the other Blood and Thunder chapters that we'll hit later; but since I had already read Infinity Crusade, it was like finding a bonus chapter or a DVD extra scene. And Warlock takes this issue off, not appearing at all.
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There's punishment, and then there's Punishment:

Even though I have no nostalgia for the Super Powers line, and don't think of myself as a big New Gods fan, I really liked the DCUC Desaad figure. In the books, Desaad is Darkseid's lackey and torturer (well, torturing others, not Darkseid...presumably.) and is creepy and slimy and evil and sniveling. Damned if that sculpt doesn't nail all of that.

Why did I use the camo-faced Punisher? Ah, I'm getting ready my year-end toys post; and was going through figures I've forgotten were from this year...or forgotten entirely.

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I'm surprised I hadn't posted this page before.

I was thinking about it, then found another copy in the quarter boxes, and here we are: from What If? #22, "What if the Silver Surfer had not escaped earth?" Written by Ron Marz, pencils by Ron Lim, inks by Terry Austin. Both Marz and Lim would have long runs on Silver Surfer, making this a strong one-off, if a grim one:

Never escaping from earth, the Surfer instead takes Mr. Fantastic's offer to join the Fantastic Four, now Five. Although the new team makes short work of the FF's usual bad guys like Dr. Doom and the Mole Man (in a great two-page spread that sadly won't fit in my scanner) things go south very quickly when they investigate a church possession. Sucked into hell by Mephisto, Johnny is killed by the demon, and the Surfer is forced to remain in Mephisto's realm for eternity. Bit of a downer, then, but love the art and this issue.
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It's a good team-up, considering it doesn't have Deadpool or Thor...

I don't usually harsh on new books, and I can't even say it was a completely unenjoyable book, either; but today we're picking apart Deadpool Team-Up #887, written by Rob Williams, art by Matteo Scalera.

First, the good: love the Humberto Ramos cover. I liked Deadpool's self-loathing pilot Tan: there is probably something to the idea that a lot of the people that Deadpool has to work with are just as crazy as he is. I think Den Vakre is a new villain...ess, thing; but it definitely feels like something Thor could've fought years ago, imprisoned, then forgot about. And overall, while some jokes (like a couple Raiders of the Lost Ark bits) fall flat, there are more than a couple laughs here.

But the bad? Well, while Deadpool has almost twenty years (!) of publishing history on him, it's not like a lot of those issues are hard to come by, and we live in an age where you can look this crap up. Namely, that Thor and Deadpool have met before. And the last time, they didn't much care for each other:


This time, Thor is a little more amused with Deadpool, since his joking antics remind him of his currently dead brother Loki. (Which bizarrely ties into Thor's current book, where he seems to remember Loki far more fondly than he should.) But Deadpool previously disliked Thor as being bigger, stronger, prettier, nobler, and overall better than him in every way; he seems to have substantially revised his opinion of Thor:


Still...even though this issue contradicts old continuity, I ended up liking it a lot more than I intended. The problem with Deadpool, is that I think it's tough to have him grow as a character, without ruining everything about him that makes the character works. But the alternative is to leave him status quo: Pool tries to be good, screws up a lot. Pool tries to be bad, but isn't heartless enough for that to work. (He gets hired for jobs like he's Bullseye, a stone killer; but he really wants to be a one-man A-Team...)

And any contradiction with old comics, or even current comics, can be written off with one sentence: Deadpool is crazy, and his healing factor doesn't help and may actually partially cause that. It's not out-of-character for him to act one way today, and another tomorrow; because the alternative is him repeatedly doing the same things that don't work and not being crazy.

Older page from Deadpool #37, "Chapter X: Benediction" Written by Christopher Priest, pencils by Jim Calafiore, inks by Mark McKenna. And congrats to Williams and Scalera; I was set to ream this issue, but it won over my bitter little heart after all. This time.

And I did like my version of the hammer joke better...


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Geez, Jane, way to kill the mood.

Little secret, gang? Sooooo not prepared today. I have a long weekend coming up, and I've kind of checked out a bit, looking forward to catching a few movies, working on more homemade strips, and sleeping like crazy. But, I got Thor #237 from the quarter-dollar bin a bit back, so here we are. Oddly, I covered Thor #236 over three years ago!

Dr. Blake and Jane Foster are enjoying a pleasant evening out, when a police chase speeds by and an old woman catches a stray slug. While Jane helps her, Blake turns into Thor and makes short work of them...then Jane's date pretty much continues with Thor. At this point, she not only knew his secret identity, but Jane had just been merged with Sif, but they seem to be treating Blake and Thor as the same person here. (Which isn't always the case, I think.)

Meanwhile, at a nearby carnival, the Vizier hangs out with Hercules; who isn't normally the brooding type, but here he manages to brood while eating cotton candy. That's good brooding! Herc doesn't know what to think about the Sif-Jane merger either, possibly moreso because I don't think he's ever tried to pass himself of as mortal for more than twenty minutes. The Vizier's there for moral support, and to hold Herc's cotton candy while he saves a falling ferris wheel. Hercules is feeling a little down on earth this month as well, lamenting the grimness of the mortals.

Man, I was just wishing Hercules would've shown up in "Blood and Thunder." But then I realized, it probably would've been 90's Avengers Herc, shaven or with a five o'clock shadow, and a leather jacket. Not proper Hercules, who I would love to see on the new Avengers cartoon. I doubt he will anytime soon, since with the upcoming movie and all they probably want the focus on Thor; but I don't think having Herc around takes anything away from Thor. Hmm.

Anyway, later this issue, Ulik the troll shows up, and I always read his name as "you-lick," which sounds terrible. From Thor #237, "Ulik Unchained" Written by Gerry Conway, art by John Buscema, embellishments by Joe Sinnott.

We'll close this week with a little homemade strip...didn't quite come together the way I wanted, but we'll try it anyway. Have a good weekend!

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That issue in a thirteen-part crossover that's filler? This one.

Over the last little bit, I've been writing up the chapters of the "Blood and Thunder" crossover that I have. It ran through Thor, Silver Surfer, Warlock, the Warlock Chronicles, and Warlock and the Infinity Watch. I read the Surfer chapters back in 1993 when they came out, and here's one of them: Silver Surfer #87, "Strange Affairs" Written by Ron Marz, pencils by Andy Smith, inks by Tom Christopher.

With Thor insane, and Beta Ray Bill already down, Adam Warlock and the Silver Surfer go to get a consult: Dr. Strange. So most of the issue is them wandering around Strange's house, seeing weird crap and getting attacked by stuff before Strange realizes they were there. (The Surfer had been there many times in his Defenders days, but warns Adam that the house is dangerous, even to them.)


After more recap of the storyline, Strange uses a crystal ball (presumably, the Orb of Agamotto, I believe) to see Thor and the Valkyrie in space, probably headed towards Asgard. Strange can see the imaginary Valkyrie because of his magic, just as Warlock can see her with the Soul Gem. Except...the Surfer can see her too. Uh-oh.

After a brief interlude, with Sif taking care of the beat-down Beta Ray Bill; the Infinity Watch arrives at Strange's. They had a run-in with Thor that did not go well: Moondragon tried to use her Mind Gem to cure Thor, and instead somehow brought the Valkyrie to life. Thor beat Drax the Destroyer, and took his Power Gem, then took off to destroy Asgard with it.

While I suppose you couldn't just bring Dr. Strange into this story in two panels--well, I guess you could, but it doesn't seem fair to the character--this issue feels a lot like filler. A. Lot. There's a lot of recap, and five splash pages out of twenty-two story pages. And while I like Andy Smith's art, I hate Strange's hair in this one.
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I know I'm not the first person for this reference...

If you didn't play Gauntlet as a kid...my condolences.

In other news, it's snowed quite a bit here; although I don't think quite as much as maybe two years ago, when I think it snowed once all year, but all at once. Right now, it's not the kind of weather where you just hop in the car, to zip over to the comic shop or to Wal-Mart to check for toys; since it's too much of a pain, and I really don't trust other drivers here.

Of course, back in my homeland of Montana, I remember it snowing twice as much, being twice as cold, with the wind blowing, and uphill both ways. We called that 'May.' Ha-ha! God, I hated it there. I can remember it fondly if I don't think about it for more than thirty seconds...I could recommend Montana if you enjoy wide open stretches of nothing, and alcoholism. Like Russia without the furry hats, I suppose.

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Hey, not a review! Shocker Toys Maxx and NECA Army of Darkness Medieval Ash!

Although they are both beloved nerd properties, these two figures have nothing in common...save I bought them both on Black Friday, both come with alternate heads I probably won't use, and both figures had loose accessories in their bubbles.

OAFE had a pretty good write-up on the Maxx, pointing out that while the character and the comics were from Sam Keith; the animated series and hence the figure are from MTV. Which I'm going to let slide, much as that's a bit of stomping on the creator's rights; because the Oddities animated version has a proper ending that I'm not sure the comic ever did.
The Maxx almost had a little trouble from the start: his arm fell off in the packaging, but luckily popped right back on. And I rather prefer the plain, non-feathered headdress head, but it had a couple dings on the front teeth. Still, he's a good looking figure; stout, very poseable, and the Maxx looks like he lumbered right off a comic page...or off the DVD, or whatever, I guess.


As usual, OAFE had a proper review for Army of Darkness's Medieval Ash, and it is also a good looking figure. Although, I hadn't realized this was a re-release, and the original version came with a base, that Ash could kinda use: there's no leg articulation, except cut ankles.

I still think I like this version more than the S-Mart Ash, although, as OAFE mentions, he is sculpted looking to his right, no matter what you do with him. Still, in the right situation, it looks good.


Medieval Ash comes with a shotgun (that was no worse for wear for being loose in the package) a Necronomicon, and an alternate head. The alternate is Ash's face getting sucked into the vortex, which I wouldn't usually use for display. No chainsaw, though, which is a mild disappointment, but Medieval Ash was only $9.99, so some leeway can be given there.
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Admittedly, kind of a dick choice for the week after Thanksgiving.

Long time readers know I love me the reprints, and why not? They're usually cheaper than new books, they're often available in a variety of formats, and they open the door to a larger world of comics. Reprints of sixties era Superman or Legion of Super-Heroes opened my eyes and helped me put together what was going on in the then-current books, and made me realize I've read only a fraction of the material that's still out there. Hell, I've read an assload of Judge Dredd (for an American) and I don't think I've read a tenth of the series.

The Titan Books/Fleetway Publications collection Judge Dredd vs. the Fatties strings together several strips featuring some of Mega City One's biggest criminal offenders...pound-wise, anyway. As the opener, "The League of Fatties!" explains, over the years many of MC1's citizens turned to gluttony as a hobby, but after the Apocalypse War came food shortages. The skinnier portions of the populace turned on the fatties, while the fatties lamented they were "wasting away." Of course, keep in mind some of the fatties weighed in the neighborhood of a ton--first in pounds, then in metric.

John Wagner and Alan Grant's deadpan narration is a perfect counter-point to the absurd nature of the story. Two sample captions: "The situation escalates when a group of heavyweight citizens march on temporary Justice HQ--the fact that the route is twenty kilometres long can only be put down to bad planning." For his part, Judge Dredd cares about the fatties as much, or as little, as he does the rest of the people: as long as they don't commit crimes, they're not his problem. Of course, some of the fatties do turn to crime, with spectacular results. As in, spectacular failure, since while a stampede of fatties could be deadly, they weren't exactly built for fleeing the scene of a crime.

In the end, for their own protection, the fatties are segregated to their own blocks, under house arrest until they get their weight under 300 KG, about 661 pounds. Wagner and Grant and artist Ron Smith also foresee the talking scale:


Collecting the fattie stories in one volume makes Dredd seem like a particularly harsh physical trainer, but the next episode, "Requiem for a Heavyweight" (with art by Dredd's co-creator, Carlos Ezquerra features one of my favorite cold opens, and while it predates C.S.I. by years, all it needs is a "yyyyyeeeeaaaah!"


The discovery of a one-ton corpse puts Dredd on the trail of illegal eating contests, which seem like they should be a victimless crime. Except for food hording during a famine, illegal gambling, negligent homicide, and a couple of accidental ones. Yeah, forget the victimless part.

A fun little book, and a great way to check out the more humorous side of Judge Dredd comics. That said, I would've loved to get the Judge Dredd vs. the Dark Judges paperback, still a great batch of action stories; or vs. Chopper, the stories that made me realize Dredd wasn't a very sympathetic lead in his own book.


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