Please don't use this in your art history class.

I thought I had blogged this issue already, but I may have just been remembering that I found the trade sometime afterwards: from 2006, The Thing #7, "Dis Man, Dis Monster, Disarmed!" Story by Dan Slott, art by Kieron Dwyer.

It's Alicia Master's birthday, or least it was that morning...in the present. Ben's having a hard time with Alicia having a new boyfriend Arlo, made even harder since he isn't a super-villain, he's a good guy. Feeling jealous already, Ben is further crushed when he hears Alicia gush over her birthday present from Arlo: a handsculpted replica of the Venus de Milo, her favorite work of art. With Lockjaw in tow, Ben tries to take Alicia to the Louvre, but that doesn't seem impressive enough. Back to the Baxter Building...

Meanwhile, in ancient Greece, Alexandros of Antioch is working on a new sculpture, of none other than Hercules. Who is bored as hell of standing around, and more than a bit drunk. Herc is loudly wishing for "a woman to woo...a monster to--" presumably fight, when he hears Alicia and Ben arguing. Alicia is starting to get pissed at being dragged into the past, and that Ben keeps calling her baby, when an awkward moment is averted by Herc punching Ben in the face.

While Alicia is praised as a blind oracle for "seeing" what's going to happen, i.e. clobbering time; Ben knocks Herc into his wine, ruining it and the stupid lion-hide he was wearing. Herc then socks Ben into several statues, smashing them and knocking the arms off the 'Aphrodite of Melos,' as it was known then. Hercules apologizes, but Alexandros isn't bothered: "According to the oracle...I'm gonna be huge in France!" Alicia breaks up the fights, and Herc apologizes for the misunderstanding as well; although he enjoyed the fight.

Alicia tells Ben she doesn't think they could ever be what they were before, having "been broken so many times." Still, Ben says just because something is broken--like the Venus--doesn't mean it's not a classic. Later, back at the Baxter Building, Sue had made up a story to get Ben and Alicia to watch the kids, which seems like a crappy birthday present, Sue.

Reed does notice that Ben's altered the timeline, as New York City now has a Greco-Roman design; but shrugs and says he'll fix it in the morning.

This was a fun little series, although I'm not sure how much if any of it is remembered: I couldn't say if Arlo was brought up again after it. Anytime anybody changes the Alicia/Ben relationship, someone else rolls it right back. There's also a bit of mood whiplash, as those early panels seem to indicate a much more melancholy story than this turned out.

Also: Blogger's schedule function? Still broken...I have to look into that.