"Big-game hunter" was just behind "test pilot" and "millionaire layabout" for secret identities back then...

Even though I can remember when Mutual of Omaha's Wild Kingdom was on TV, I'm not old enough to remember when "Big-game hunter" was an A-list dream occupation for little kids, but comics do. Even if said hunters rarely came to a good end. I mean, Kraven's probably the best known example, and he got bored with wrestling lions, became a super-villain, and killed himself. The Paul Kirk Manhunter as well: bored with hunting, trampled, cloned, killed some more. And then there's this guy, from "I Hunted the World's Wildest Animals!" I do this about once a year, but here's the full story, so click to enlarge! Pay attention, there will be a test!










If "Cage 'em Alive" Burke never had to shoot an animal, why did he carry a pistol?
A. Insurance
B. To shoot in the air as a distress signal
C. Poachers
D. Groupies

According to this story, what skills are mandatory for big-game hunters?
A. Woodwork
B. Archeology and translation
C. Asbestos handling
D. All of the above and then some

Why would a big-game hunter have, or need, a gas mask?
A. Because they're cool
B. Big Golden Age Sandman fan
C. Insert fart joke here
D. The question is, why wouldn't he need a gas mask?

All right then, smarty, what good would an asbestos suit do in a jungle fire? Unless you're also hauling an oxygen tank, you'd still die of smoke inhalation! How much crap are you going to haul on safari, anyway?
A. Closed-casket funeral; tons
B. Organ donor; more than you, nancy
C. Oxygen's for sissies; what aren't I going to take?
D. All of the above

Pretty sure I saw this story as the plot of a Sci-Fi Channel "Original" movie. Coincidence, theft, or homage?
A. Coincidence
B. Theft, but it was an old story before this
C. Sure as hell not a homage, no one read this
D. It's the plot of every Sci-Fi Channel original movie.

What the hell comic is this from?
A. My coverless copy of DC 100-Page Super Spectacular #4.
B. Or, it's originally from the May/June 1957 issue of My Greatest Adventure #15, with art by Nick Cardy.
C. It was also reprinted in something called "Big Boy #17" from Artima in 1958.
D. Not a question, but damn, the GCD is awesome. Read more!

For comparison purposes: can you believe I have two Judge Deaths?

Need? Maybe not so much. But I have 'em!

Although I'm glad they made the effort, I don't know what Re:Action Toys (the smaller Death, from their 2000 AD line) or Toy Biz (the larger, from their Legendary Heroes second series) were thinking. Yes, Judge Death is a coolass looking monster. Yes, making figures based on action-packed British comics probably are an easier sale than say, action figures of the comics heroes of Belgium. But the fact is, kids in America? Figure ten out of ten of 'em have no drokking idea who Judge Dredd is, let alone Death.

Which is probably why I'm positive I paid a combined $6.33 for these two. The older Death was marked down at KB Toys when there was still one around; the newer from Wal-Mart. I could've even made it three for three: I passed on the clear, ghosty version from Toy Biz. That version shipped with the first wave of figures, and both TB versions came with the build-a-figure piece for Monkeyman, a big ape leg.

(Panels reprinted in Quality's 2000 AD Presents #6: Judge Anderson, story by John Wagner and Alan Grant, art by Robin Smith and Cliff Robinson.)


Based on the art here, the Toy Biz version actually seems more on-model, at least as far as the costume details. For the Re:Action version, though, Death was often pictured with huge hands, making him a hit with the ladies...however, R:A Death has no articulation beneath the waist. Ouch. Perhaps in compensation, he came with a human heart and a bomb. Look, Judge Death may seem like a hands-on kind of killer, but he's really more about getting the job done.

So TB Death easily wins the articulation contest, except for one point: R:A Death has an articulated jaw, and that gives him a touch more personality. Either because of that, or his age, or the fact no one remembers Re:Action Toys, I only found one on eBay; TB Death is plentiful and cheap. Sadly, Toy Biz's Legendary Heroes line never got their third wave out, which may have included Dredd villain Mean Machine Angel. I blame their failure on planning a figure for Aphrodite IX. I don't care if she is a hot robot chick in a short skirt, and no one else did either. I don't think anything with the Aphrodite IX name has ever been successful, from comics to alleged anime to toys... Read more!

Timing, part eighteen.

A short one today, so I might see if I can dredge something else up for later. And I'm aware of the new Marvel 3 3/4'' figures, but...I really don't want to go back to that scale, even though, as Pool points out, they would be able to use more vehicles and accessories. Well, maybe I'll hold out until either Deadpool or Nightcrawler get their figures: Pool probably won't be long, since he'll be getting more of a push with the Wolverine: Origins movie, but poor Kurt has the disadvantage of needing additional tooling. (For non-toy fans: Deadpool is almost a repaint of a Spider-Man mold, but Nightcrawler would need new hands, feet, and his tail sculpted.) Reckon Nightcrawler will turn up in a Giant Sized X-Men #1 box set, something Toy Biz also did back in the day.

Read more!

Why hasn't this Thing gotten an action figure?

From Fantastic Four #350, "The More Things Change, or it's the real Thing..." Written and pencilled by Walt Simonson, inks by Allen Milgrom. This issue also wrapped up the Kristoff/Doom war that had been running for years by then, and gave Doom a great redesign that was never seen again.

Ben first mutated into this version of the Thing in Fantastic Four #310 in 1988. Steve Englehart's version of the Four had Ms. Marvel (who mutated into the She-Thing in the same issue) and Crystal taking the spots of the semi-retired Reed and Sue. It didn't really take, and Ben would be turned into a human again for a while there, as we saw the other day.

Like I've said before, sometimes I can go long stretches without reading Fantastic Four, so I wonder: was this the last time Ben was turned into the armadillo-style Thing? And, did no one like it, at all, ever? In the review of the much-maligned First Appearance Thing figure over at OAFE.net, yo points out "It's not like they [then, Toy Biz] can make Tiger Stripe Thing or Weapon X Thing, you know? Thing's Thing. That's it." Hmm, maybe. But I can't recall anything made of this version of the Thing. No action figures, definitely. As near as I can tell, not even a Heroclix or a Bowen bust, and Bowen's made busts of Machine Man and the Jackal, so that tells us something. I don't personally have the First Appearance Thing, but I have three other Legends versions: the initial one, the initial one with the trench coat, and the one with the different head from the FF box set. All Toy Biz, although Hasbro has made a couple more since.

Over at Comics Oughta Be Fun! Bully has started 365 Days with Ben Grimm, which is a daunting task but a noble one. How many armadillo-Things do you think we'll see? Um, two or three would be fine, yeah: Walt Simonson brought it out for a second before the end of his all-too-brief run--in the end, Ben simply reverts to his "normal" Thing form, noting someone upstairs prefers him that way. I'm guessing, but I think Keith Pollard was the artist in those first new look issues; and Jeff Purves got to draw a very different Hulk vs. Thing battle: The Grey Hulk versus the stronger new Thing. Still, there's no telling: Bully may go for armadillo month, for all we know. Read more!

Timing, part seventeen.

If you were expecting more from a Deadpool/Deathstroke fight, might I direct you to Fanwank!, where Pete nailed the hell out of that one earlier. But the little Deadpool coming at you would just be creepy as all hell, and his weird four-sausage-fingered hands on you? Ugh.

Pool first used the molecular compressor in "Date Night, part two" and bought it from MODOK in "Like the opposite of a moped..." So, I've had some of this story in mind for a while, and it's probably going to go a while longer.

"Ellis-Fu" is a bit of snark referring to the Midnighter, from Warren Ellis' run on Stormwatch and the Authority. When he was introduced, it wasn't just, "Look! Gay Batman!" Midnighter was a genuinely scary bastard, with a head crammed full of "enhancements" that enabled him to play out a fight, every possible move from every angle, before it even began. Sort of the same way a chess computer could plot a hundred moves ahead after your first, the better for crushing you.

I always sort of figured Midnighter was cranky because his "power" was on all the time. He probably couldn't have a conversation with his own teammates without a constant possible series of punches, kicks, and chokeholds running through his head. At any rate, it was such a good idea, I think it's been swiped. A lot. Read more!

A quick thought on Final Crisis #6:

(From someone who's not really reading it!)


Yeah, I didn't buy Final Crisis #6, sorry. I was hoping to get the new issue of that Super Friends book--the cover where everyone dresses up like Batman--but they were sold out. Drag.

I don't know if I would've hated Final Crisis #6 as much as Val over at Occasional Superheroine seemed to, but she did set up the link to the pages in question. Spoilers, spoilers, spoilers, so don't click over, or read further if you're waiting to read it.




Man, if Batman's going to make a "once in a lifetime exception," I thought he'd use a plain old Earth gun. Maybe a nice revolver, or the gun that killed his parents or something. I think the idea of Batman taking the role of Orion in the New Gods was one that Morrison had pitched for this thing, but editorial made him dial it back. Come to think of it, in Superman/Batman I'm pretty sure there were some issues where Bats joyrides around in Orion's harness and makes time with Orion's girl, maybe a test run at the job.

In the interests of accuracy, I was hoping to find my reprints of Kirby's New Gods so I could nail the dialog on the "right" panel, but instead I found the third issue of Johnny Dynamite. Oh, man, I had the other three of them out and had been wanting to read that again for ever. Anyway, even though Batman's bit here was kind of cool, it might have been cooler if it had happened in goddamn Batman: R.I.P. Even with the stuff that sounds interesting like motherlovin' Tawky Tawny fighting Kalibak to the death, there's eight or nine things that just make my brain numb, like the Metron Rubik's Cube or Planet OMAC or the Tattooed Man or Anthro...

So, not reading Final Crisis, but Batman channeling the fallen spirit of Orion and wearing his harness, while he battles Darkseid for the final fate of the Earth? That would have been cooler, and more like Batman, than shooting him, even with Darkseid's own bullet.

This is the DCUC Batman, and a DC Direct Darkseid from the box set with Orion. And that Orion lent Bats the harness. The old DCD Orion had a removable helmet, and interchangeable heads, and the DCUC version crushes him, we'll compare them sometime...

New "Timing" strip Thursday at noon! Read more!

It was a short fight; that's why I forgot it. Yeah...

When I put together my homemade strips, best case scenario I work off of "selective continuity." Crossbones, Deathstroke, and Bullseye seemed like a perfectly reasonable teaming of mercenaries; even if Deathstroke's from DC and the rest from Marvel. But, I had forgotten about this fight: from Streets of Poison (again!) Bullseye vs. Crossbones. Back in this one, Bullseye seemed much less likely to want to fight hand-to-hand, which is why I think it's odd to see him do so now, like the recent Moon Knight fight. (From Captain America #377, "The 100% Solution" Written by Mark Gruenwald, pencils by Ron Lim, inks by Danny Bulanadi.)

I mention this because it's something I bitch about when other writers do it in real comics. Take for example, the Inhumans. They're characters with a certain fan base, and creators like the Inhumans--well, they like the Lee/Kirby Inhumans. Maybe a couple of the old Byrne issues, or the Jenkins/Lee limited. Other than that, every other Inhumans story? May as well not exist. Every appearance of the Inhumans seems to have, at best, a tangential relationship to the one before. That may stem from the fact that they were usually used as guest-stars, and only the most hardcore of fans (or random chance) is going to keep track of Black Bolt and company's appearances in Silver Surfer or New Warriors.

From Inhumans #3, "Ghost in the Machine" Written by Paul Jenkins, art by Jae Lee. Reprinted in Marvel Knights Magazine #6.

(Did the Inhumans ever appear in ROM? Just about everyone else did, but I don't know if ROM hit Attilan in his world tour. Also, it always bugged me that the Ladronn Inhumans mini of a few years back wasn't "in continuity," but it wrote out almost of the citizen, rank-and-file Inhumans; leaving a royal family with no subjects.)

Man-Bat would fall into the same boat. Everybody likes Man-Bat. (Everyone should, anyway...) But is Dr. Kirk Langstrom a troubled genius striving for acceptance? Was he deaf before taking his bat-formula? Was Kirk a private detective? A research scientist? A museum curator? Is he an environmental psychotic trying to replace humanity with bat-hybrids? Do his wife and children still have bat-traits, and are they even alive? Can he control his transformation? When he transforms, is Kirk in control, or is he a mindless beast, or something else entirely?

I don't think Jamie Delano and John Bolton's Man-Bat (art here from issue #3) is in continuity, as it's an Elseworlds book; but aspects of it seem to have bled into the DCU version. (Also, the Batman in this, is a colossal dick. I just had to look if Delano had worked on Judge Dredd, since his Batman seems to be of the same stripe.) Some would say, if it's in service to a good story, the continuity doesn't matter; and they would have a point. But if you remembered his first series, or his Brave and the Bold appearances where he tried to one-up Batman; this new Man-Bat would be disturbing and wrong. Which in this case works: Man-Bat here is supposed to be alien and terrifying, while retaining remnants of his family man roots.

So, in a nutshell, there's your pros and cons to continuity: it's great, except when it isn't, so you can pick and choose, but rarely does everyone agree on what to keep and what to toss. There's still a few fans of the Spider-Clone out there, you know.

Not me though. Well, not really... Read more!

Cover your shame, Danny!

Just as the first Marvel Team-Up issue I read with him made Yellowjacket cool forever, the first MTU issue I saw with Iron Fist cemented my opinion of him: he wasn't at full strength and got beat down by Steel Serpent. Pretty sure that was a Claremont/Byrne issue.

Similarly to that one, Iron Fist #1, "Into the Fold" (written by Dan Jurgens, pencils by Jackson Guice, finishes by Scott Koblish) opens with Fist not at his full fighting power. Which seems to happen quite a bit, but that's less a blemish on Danny than a testament to how hard it is to maintain his technique. Also, it's because at full power Danny could probably punch a Grand Canyon sized hole into just about anything. From a writing standpoint I figure it's easier and more fun to handicap the Iron Fist at least a little, and make him have to work harder.

I seem to find the issues where Fist ends up with egg on his face more easily, which is too bad. Anyway, the rest of this series features recurring Iron Fist bad guys Scimitar (lazy!) and evil plants the H'ylthri, in a scheme that involves blackmailing Fist into stealing the Scorpio Key from S.H.I.E.L.D. It also refers back to Iron Fist #5 from who knows when in the seventies, and Danny's little known and perhaps not real sister. Oh, and Wisconsinite super-villain Sidewinder is killed in the first issue, which is a bit of a waste: he's jobbed out to show how tough stealing the Key is going to be for Fist. (Actually, it's a scab Sidewinder, the original having retired and passed on his gear. The original, Seth Voelker, was from Wisconsin like his co-creator Mark Gruenwald. Man alive, I would love to be able to create some super-villains from my home state. Y'know, that were neither cowboys nor indians, and didn't have "Montana" in their name...) Read more!

For Comparison Purposes: this one's for the ladies...

...and fans of ritual scarification and/or vinyl clothing. Here's the 1997 version of Iron Fist.

Woof, Danny hasn't just been hitting the gym, he's been demolishing it.

If you've been reading Toyfare magazine since about the beginning, you may remember ads for Marvel Gold figures. Now, at the time, Toy Biz was making a goodly number of X-Men and Spider-Man toys, and would often work in other heroes as they could, such as the Wasp figure we saw last week. But there are tons of characters in the Marvel Universe that may not have been popular enough at the time for a mass-market release, but the fans still wanted. The Marvel Gold figures were mostly made from existing molds, with maybe a little new sculpting or an accessory here or there.

We might take a look at the Black Widow figure another time: it was a direct repaint of a Jean Gray figure, with an Avengers leather jacket and widow's sting bracelets; not too bad for its day. I know there was a Tigra figure that was a repainted Black Cat with a tail stuck to it...now, I couldn't say for sure what this Iron Fist originally was, since my first instinct would be to say he's a repainted Spider-Man, but that chest does seem a little too buff for that.

A lot of collectors don't care for cloth accessories on figures in this scale, and this may be an example as to why: it's an interesting idea, and possibly a cost-saving measure compared to sculpting a new torso with Iron Fist's trademark huge collar. You can see, just a little, where the black paint around his eyes comes through the yellow, and he doesn't have the mask-tie, but E for effort. Fist also came with a couple "fist of iron" translucent plastic mittens, that I think came with a Ryu figure in Marvel vs. Capcom. Maybe.

To give his legs a little attention, Iron Fist has a really strong paint wash, which may not have been very common at the time. It's especially noticeable in the um, assocological region. There's also visible and unpainted metal pins in the knees.

Although I'm not a huge fan, I did get Iron Fist's Marvel Legends figure from 2006; and he's popular enough now that he's going to be one of the first in the 3 3/4'' scale toys coming soon. (With his more recent costume, also ditching the collar, and you can argue whether that's cost-cutting or a concession to fashion.)

Iron Fist was supposedly killed in Power Man and Iron Fist #125 in 1986. Although it may not have been planned, he would be left dead until 1992's Namor the Sub-Mariner #22. It would be a confusing return involving a fakeout with the Super-Skrull (in previous issues), plantman duplicates, and cancer. There would be three more tries at his own limited or ongoing series, a limited with Wolverine, and a stint with Heroes for Hire, until Fist finally struck gold with 2007's Immortal Iron Fist. Now he's had a stint disguised as Daredevil and with the New Avengers, so perseverance seems to have worked out. Read more!

I was looking for something else, but...

Hi-larious. From the Incredible Hulk #365, "Countdown: 3 (Fantastic Four)" Written by Peter David, pencils by Jeff Purves, inks by Marie Severin. Poisoned (by an unknown foe) then beaten by the Abomonation (who melts like the Wicked Witch of the West after being thrown into radioactive waste), the Hulk tries to get help from Reed Richards. Unfortunately, the Grey Hulk was never very personable at best, and Sharon Ventura--alternately known as Ms. Marvel, or the She-Thing--remembers the last time he nearly killed Ben Grimm. Who's also there, and currently human. The traditional slugfest ensues, with the added bonus of the Hulk just being skeeved out by the whole thing.

Still looking for...what I was looking for. We'll see if I find it before Friday, especially since I found some other stuff I wanted to read... Read more!

Timing, part sixteen.

Even though he's a thug working for a Nazi, Crossbones does have at least one admirable attribute, aside from the ability to take a two-by-four to the head: he's unfailingly loyal to the Red Skull. For his part, the Skull seems to think more highly of Cross and treat him better than another villain, say, Dr. Doom or Lex Luthor, would treat their underlings.

In his first couple of appearances, during the biweekly "Bloodstone Hunt" storyline, Crossbones was a mysterious silent observer. In his next couple, he seemed a little more...whimsical, cheerfully fighting Cap and singing. Later, he settled into his role as number-one thug: brutal, methodical, and with a touch of black humor; although not as much as his boss.

From Captain America #360, "Blood in the Sea!" Written (and plot) by Mark Gruenwald, pencils (and plot) by Kieron Dwyer, inks by Danny Bulanadi. While it might not have been the most dramatic first appearance, Crossbones would bulk up something fierce before his next one. Read more!

Your happenstance panel(s) for today:

I didn't notice in Dark Reign, but did Dr. Doom have his fancy chair out? Although, I would have to imagine 90% of that chair's comfort is from the sheer envy it generates in others, and it is damn comfortable. Of course, knowing Doom it's probably also a mobile weapons platform with time machine and dimensional doorway options, and cushions made from the skins of those who have disappointed Doom in the past. And two cup holders.

Plus, doesn't Doom's armor weigh some absurd amount, like two hundred pounds? Can't just pull up a desk chair for him, can you?
From Punisher War Journal #13, "Confession" Written by Carl Potts, pencils by David Ross, inks by Russ Heath. I really thought Jim Lee did this issue until I looked it up there, and Lee only did the cover. Because he did do pencils and inks for this issue, duhr, it's miscredited, as pointed out at the Grand Comics Database: "Art Mis-Credited to David Ross and Russ Heath who begin next issue."

This was near the height of the Punisher's popularity, but he was in two Acts of Vengeance tie-ins this month--the other, Punisher #28. (God, I really need to just buy those Essential Punisher volumes. And Quasar appears on the cover to #29, which is weirdly entertaining.) In this issue, the Kingpin and Doom are having a little contest involving the Punisher: mocking Doom for letting the Punisher live, the Kingpin sets Daredevil villain, and former priest, Bushwacker on him. I always thought Bushwacker's transforming gun arm was cool: Rick Leonardi, I believe, was the artist in his prior appearances, and set the bar. Nicely, Lee keeps the gun-arm looking like a fleshy-plastic nightmare.

I had completely forgotten Frank was going to become a priest at some point. I don't think I ever read the issues or graphic novel that goes into it, and it doesn't seem like Frank anymore, does it? So, keep it under your hat. Instead, please enjoy a page with that Striker auto shotgun I mentioned on Christmas!

Frank remote-controls his van into Bushwacker's house, then busts in, shotgun blazing. And both Bushwacker and his wife are more pissed about him shooting up the house then at them. It makes sense there, really. Have a good weekend! Read more!

OK, since I mentioned it this morning:

From Nightcrawler #11, "The Winding Way, conclusion" Written by Roberto-Aguirre-Sacasa, pencils by Darick Robertson, inks by Rodney Ramos. I miss this series, even though it was never quite as good as it could have been. Some of the stories could have been edited down an issue, and Robertson's art was mostly tight with occasional patches of sketchiness. (He may have been concurrently working on either a Fury or Punisher limited with Garth Ennis, and you can't blame him, those were great.) Still, it's disappointing this series didn't last long enough for the Nightcrawler/Morbius issue, which I would've much preferred to Man-Thing, Vermin, and Carrion showing up for no apparent reason. And I know from no apparent reason, believe you me...

(Maybe there was a reason, but I kinda doubt it!) Read more!

Timing, part fifteen.

Later today, I'll post the Wolverine fight Nightcrawler mentions.

While I often complain that Nightcrawler doesn't get as much use as, um, just about every other X-Man, I have to admit, if used improperly, he could be a huge deus ex machina. (Unlike Phoenix...or Storm...or Wolverine...I'll stop now.) Look, Nightcrawler and a good length of two-by-four could beat just about anyone in the Marvel Universe. How? Using the two-by-four as a spear, Nightcrawler teleports it into the victim's body, embedding it on the molecular level and probably killing them instantly. Actually, he could also teleport a chunk off of the victim, which would probably also do the trick.

Now, since Kurt isn't a killer, you don't see him do that very often, except to robots or non-living targets. And it's something that's failed spectacularly before: he was badly hurt when he tried that on the super-Sentinel Nimrod. And lots of villains have force-fields or whatnot to prevent just such an occurrence as well--Magneto, Dr. Doom, etc. Still, I think sometimes writers have problems with a character whose power allows him to get into or out of most any situation instantly.

Of course, like I've admitted before, I'm biased, since Nightcrawler's been a favorite since I was a kid. Like Batman or Mickey Mouse, he's instantly recognizable in silhouette; he's got his own sound-effect--I think only Spider-Man should be able to use "THWIP!" Wolverine should be the only one that gets to go "SNIKT!" And it offends me when anyone besides Nightcrawler goes "BAMF!" Read more!

Sometimes, I think I'd enjoy Twitter. Not just because all the cool kids are doing it, but because I'll think of something, and have to make a note so I can look it up later. Then I'll forget, won't remember it again until some time when I'm busy, forget it again...that can go on for a while.

For example: is Condorman out on DVD? Discussing comic book movies, I thought I may be easier on them than most, partly because of my affection towards the characters; but also because I'm old and can remember when we didn't have Spider-Man, Hulk, or Iron Man movies, we had Condorman. Hard, dark times, kids. I don't think Condorman was terrible, but I don't remember it as knocking my socks off, either. And I liked the Black Hole, so I was easily impressed.

This is where I should take three seconds and look it up, but...meh, it'll keep. Read more!

Sometimes, there's just no going out on a high note.

While many probably recall that Mark Waid (with Ron Garney on art) got the shaft when Marvel's Heroes Reborn event kicked him off of Captain America, they might not remember he did a few issues of Avengers as well. Still, that may not have been a dream assignment at the time. After four hundred and two issues, the book would be cancelled and relaunched, with Rob Liefeld at the helm. Yeah, that didn't seem like a great idea then, either. This issue was "Onslaught: Impact 2" which only vaguely helps tell you what order these should be read in, but Waid recaps what Avengers are where, as the bulk of the team faces Onslaught's lieutenants Post and Holocaust.

Now, while he was a fairly formidable villain, with an invisibility cloaking device and an assload of ray blasters, what the hell kind of name is Post? Was that his real name or something? It's not like he was a mail or fence themed bad guy. He might as well have been called "Carl." At any rate, Holocaust and Carl are beating the hell out of the already-haggard Avengers.

I went with some scans featuring the Wasp, to supplement yesterday's post, but these also do a good job of showing Waid's Cap. Although he eventually would, I think Waid said for a long time, he didn't use thought balloons for Cap, because Cap would be thinking three or four steps ahead of him. Here, the Wasp is worried that Cap is giving up, and if Cap gives up, then it must be over. Cap is a little brisk with Jan, as he's got it all worked out, and he leads the team to a rally.

Also, based on this art, one of the changes for this version of the Wasp appears to be the ability to fly while full-sized. That may have been helpful, as shown elsewhere in the story where Jan airlifts a civilian out of danger, but I think it takes away from her visual distinctiveness a bit. OK, a flying purple and orangish girl with big wings, big hair, and huge...antennae is distinctive, I'll give you that.

Waid might be overselling Cap's importance here--Jan herself led the Avengers pretty successfully for a ton of issues, and if not her, Thor could probably get the ball rolling. (Although it's thankfully not brought up here, this was the teenaged Iron Man, in one of his final appearances.) In the end, Onslaught taunts the Avengers via the big TV screen in Times Square, and the Avengers have a ready response:

I maybe should've scanned Onslaught there: even if the concept's a little dicey, and Professor X had gone bad like twice already at least, Onslaught looks cool and definitely threatening. The art's a little sketchy this issue, which may have been rushed after the recent 400th issue; and I think Mike Deodato was doing a ton of work at the time. This was also inker Tom Palmer's last issue, and editor Mark Gruenwald thanks him for 126 issues on the book.

From Avengers #402, "End of the Line" Written by Mark Waid, breakdowns by Mike Deodato, finishes by Tom Palmer. I may need to change my tags, too: the Mark Waid one refers to fumbles, but he is a good writer. He might not turn this sow's ear into a silk purse, but he does give it a shot. Read more!

For Comparison Purposes: The time Jan turned into a Sectaur.

Most characters that are lucky enough to get an action figure, get one depicting the character at their most iconic. That would also in most cases be the plain vanilla figure; if they're popular enough Battle-Damaged Spider-Man or Pirate Batman can come later. Janet Van Dyne Pym, better known as the Wasp, wasn't quite as lucky. Out of the literally dozens of different costumes that she had worn over the years, somehow the powers-that-were went with this one for her first figure:

Hoo, boy. This just reminded me that like the Fantastic Four, I really like the Avengers, but can go long stretches without reading them. Badly injured at some point during the Onslaught crossover the Crossing, (I had to look it up, the cover's here, but the Avengers were in crossover after crossover leading up to Heroes Reborn), the Wasp was on the verge of death. Her ex-husband Hank "today I'm Giant-Man" Pym, used some doubletalk science device...to heal her and escalate whatever alterations he made to Jan before, like her wings and little-used antennae. Also: lavender. And a lot of it.

Before anyone asks, I have no idea why the Wasp's top has it's own antennae. Nor do I want to know.

I think I have all of two comics with this new Wasp, and after Heroes Reborn Jan was back to her old self. Also, I'm pretty sure since the Avengers were in an escalating quagmire of crossovers and "events," Jan may not have even got an issue to sit down and cry about becoming an insectoid freak. Yet, she got a toy out of this debacle. This was from a Spider-Man wave, and in case she wasn't buggy enough, she came with "Transforming Insect Armor!" 'Cause, you know Jan would be keen on turning into a giant bug. Perennial Spider-Man punching bag the Beetle was also in this wave, as well as the inexplicably beloved Swarm and a "Cyber-spider" Spidey.

Two years after this version, Jan would get a somewhat more-traditional figure in the Avengers box set, in her 1963 costume. The next Wasp came from the Avengers cartoon, and there was also a small trapped Jan packaged with the animated Kang. From 1999, it's not a terrible figure, although I think she came with an alternate helmeted head that was just tiny. If you don't like her redesign or the little robotic stinger arms, keep in mind that the Wasp got off easy compared to Hawkeye's design for that cartoon. Also, in digging her up, I noticed all four (!) of my Wasp figures had either stands or putty on their feet to keep them standing. The combination of Jan's dainty little feet and colossal wings knock her over every time.

The Wasp finally would hit the jackpot in one of Toy Biz's final Marvel Legends waves, getting not just one figure, but three. Well, variants anyway. Two were done in an older style, costumes the Wasp wore in the 80's, I believe. While I like the current costume, I kinda like Jan's hair better in the variants, which I never saw in person to buy.

Oh, and the Sectaurs? They were insect-themed action figures from the 80's. The Wasp would've been a hit with them, no doubt. Tomorrow, we'll take a look at one of the aforementioned comics I have with Jan's ugh...new look.

And I think I promised Iron Fist for this? Maybe next week.

Read more!

On the Spirit, LXG, and the latter incarnations of the Crow:

(No scans for this one yet, but I reserve the right to come back to it as I find them, 'kay?)

So, I haven't seen the Spirit. Like a lot of people. Over at Doomkopf they hated it. Actually, that's being kind: my keyboard doesn't have that Transmetropolitan skull-and-crossbones key. Over at his Permanent Damage column, Steven Grant takes the rather more charitable view that Frank Miller has had more hit movies than you probably have, and this was his first try on his own. Well, maybe; and there does seem to be a lot of the ol' schadenfreude, if not outright gloating, over the Spirit's seeming failure. I say seeming because I don't know, maybe it'll find it's audience on DVD or repeated cable showings or something.

And on cable right as I type this: League of Extraordinary Gentlemen. With "DVD extras" during the commercials. Reportedly, the filming was so horrible and he clashed with the director so fiercely, that it as much as drove Sean Connery into retirement. I've seen quotes from Connery, to the effect of that the notion of making another movie isn't worth the probability of killing a director. (What's the director commentary like on that one? "Ooh, Sean was pissed this morning! I said, 'Hey, save your murderous rage for the screen, tiger!' He glared at me! Directing is awesome!")

I wasn't expecting to see Connery in the "extras," but he just appeared for a moment in a segment about the car. Of course, the swarmy hosts also pointed out that "LXG" was written by the same guy that wrote V for Vendetta and From Hell. They don't mention Alan Moore by name, and why should they? Then you have to get into a whole thing about him not be involved with the movies, not wanting or even watching them. (Or so they say.)

I really liked V for Vendetta, and have yet to finish the book. (I keep getting individual issues, it wasn't always a trade!) And while it's probably not high on anyone's lists, "LXG" probably isn't the worst superhero movie ever. (The guys at Doomkopf were working on that as well, but I wanted to finish this thought before I read that!) And while there are several I haven't seen--you know, let's start there. I've never seen Catwoman, and I have that one--the Oldest swears its good, but I think at one point he may have actually thought cats could bring him back to life, too. Steel, Superman IV, Supergirl: for some reason, I don't think I've seen a combined five minutes of them.

But, I've seen a lot of terrible ones as well. Every version of the Crow after the Brandon Lee one: terrible, or worse. And even the first one gets away with a lot: I remember a Film Threat article that instead of a review, ran it as a seance with Bruce Lee: "The only thing that movie has going for it is Brandon's death. And the sad thing is, it'll probably work." "Shut up dad, don't queer my deal." And the TV version still puts my teeth on edge: a cleaned-up version of the first movie, dragged out episode after episode, as an early test music delivery system like Smallville or Gilmore Girls. (I'm being harsh, since those shows obviously brought something else to the table, which is why they lasted longer than...however many miserable episodes the Crow ran. Seriously, that show made Night Man look like it sweated artistic integrity.)

And I'm almost positive I saw the Spirit TV movie in 1987. Now, it was a comic book movie at a time where there was just about nothing. (I know I watched the short-lived Sable series as well.) But it didn't do much for me; not so much because of the quality (or lack of) of the movie itself, but because I had only a vague idea of who the Spirit was. Were Spirit comics available on newstands in my lifetime? I'm thinking not. Maybe the Warren reprints, but I couldn't find Vampirella back then, so I doubt the Spirit would have been easily found.

To this day, I've read barely a handful of Spirit stories, and only a few of those by Will Eisner. And I didn't really care for them: the Spirit seemed like a coat hanger that more interesting characters and plots hung off of, and not like an interesting character himself. Plus, he got beat up a lot, what's up with that? It never seemed like, "the Spirit gets beat to hell but never gives up and struggles through and wins in the end." It just seemed like, "the Spirit got beat up, and looks it." Or maybe, "Crap, that chick suckerpunched the Spirit! Sucker!" I'm probably wrong, but it doesn't seem like I'm going to be jumping up and down for the DVD either.

Of course, even before the Spirit came out, people were already starting to piss and moan about Frank Miller's next potential movie, a version of Buck Rogers. Like a lot of people, the first thing that came to mind was Lance Blastoff and Tales to Offend. I've read a lot of Miller, and that one's funny once, but not one I'd care to revisit. It's easy to jump to the conclusion that Miller would bring all his excesses to the goddamn Buck Rogers: a tough-yet-slutty Major Derring, a foul-mouthed "comic relief" Twiki that wouldn't be funny, a future that was repressed and seedy and looked kind of fake. Eh, it's tiring just to imagine that. Maybe Miller would go that route. Maybe he'd play it completely straight. Who knows? Hell, who knows if he's gonna get to do it anyway; but it seems unfair to burn it down before he's even started it. Well, unless he casts a Twiki, in which case yeah, burn away. I liked the TV show as a kid, but Twiki was born there and should be left there.

(I did have a thought that all those space opera spaceships, with their seemingly simplistic controls and shiny chrome finishes, were actually extraordinarily complicated and computerized; "idiot proof" fighters created by highly intelligent scientists, in order to ensure that any idiot could fly a rocket into a space battle. Because if any idiot can do it, well, the scientists wouldn't have to. "OK, the button that says 'UP'? Push that first. That one there fires the 'lasers.' Good luck!")

If Miller doesn't get to do Buck Rogers? I was walking the dog, and thinking about how Frank's going to pooch it; and I realized who should get to do the movie: Howard motherlovin' Chaykin. Take your Chaykin-hero, Reuben Flagg, Blackhawk, what have you; throw in some skirts that are slightly less tawdry than what Miller would bring, add a bunch of pointy-looking spaceships, bam! Chaykin could do it. If he got the greenlight. And had, um, any interest at all in working in Hollywood; Chaykin could very well have better/less aggravating things to do. And I don't think I've quite articulated why he'd be a good choice, but it's only a late-night rant brought about by a bunch of things wandering into my field of vision over the course of an evening.

(It's late for me, I have to be up at four! New post Tuesday, though!) Read more!

Timing, part fourteen.

Reusing that first panel there, I wanted Deathstroke's first word balloon to cover Pool's, but couldn't get the program to do it without them printing together. Oh, well. I forget who did Deathstroke's voice on the Teen Titans cartoon, but I hear that very John Malkovich-sounding voice for him. Crossbones, I hear Stone Cold Steve Austin. Bullseye...hmm. I'd have to think about it.

Before I ever read a Daredevil comic, I was working my way through the OHOTMU, better known as Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe. And I hit Bullseye pretty early, then: a stone-cold killer, who could murder with paper clips, playing cards, a paper airplane. My initial reaction, as a little kid, was incredulity: there was no way someone could do that. Right? (Well, yeah, probably not, but if you're gonna accept that he's also fighting a blind guy with radar sense, in for a penny...)

So, Bullseye is far too dangerous not to be dealt with first. Especially since he seems to be escalating from, well, psycho-killer to worse. Interestingly, in Moon Knight #25, he seems more than willing to fight hand-to-hand as well:

From Moon Knight #25, "The Death of Marc Spector, chapter five" Written by Mike Benson, art by Mark Texeira, layouts by Javier Saltares. Damn good issue, really. I don't see a lot of people talking up this book lately, but it has had some moments.

Bullseye's a scarier guy than Deathstroke, Crossbones, and a lot of other villains; because there's every probability that he's going to snap and kill you. Even if you're on his side, even if he's almost a friend, even if you think he's under your control. Maybe especially then. And Bullseye's not going to use Joker-toxin or a death ray or adhesive X; he's going to use something pointy. Knife? Letter opener? Cable bill? Scary, scary.

Well, he's dead now. Is Nightcrawler a killer? Next episode Thursday! Read more!

There's still time!

Instead of dogging it over here, you still have time to enter the Invincible Super Blog's 2008 30 Second Recap Contest! Don't think you have time, or an idea, or artistic ability? Who cares! In fact, the less time you have, probably the better! Enter now, and good luck!

From Micronauts #37, "There's a Reason They Call It...the Danger Room!" Written by Bill Mantlo, art by Keith Giffen, Greg LaRoque, and Danny Bulanadi. Read more!

For the ISB: 30 Second Recap!

I should hedge my bet and not say anything, because some of the competition is already looking tough, but Chris Sims at the Invincible Super Blog is coming up on his fourth Awesomeversary, and the 2008 30 Second Recap Contest is underway!

You can check over there for rules and to enter, which I heartily encourage; and Chris also gave an example, that "you can even go after a 22 year-old classic of comics literature if you want!" Well, taking that to mind, I took a stab at another classic, twenty-seven years old this month! Here's the 30 Second Recap, of Micronauts #37, "There's a Reason They Call It...the Danger Room!" As usual, click to enlarge, or shrink yourself until you can easily read it:

Original written by Bill Mantlo, with art by Keith Giffen, Greg Laroque, and Danny Bulanadi.

#37 was the Micronauts' last newsstand issue, at least until the ill-fated New Voyages a few years later. Micronauts, Moon Knight, and Ka-Zar were Marvel's first test books for direct sales only. I can't speak to how well they did as a yardstick, but the switch didn't seem to do them any favors. A couple years later, Micronauts was relaunched as New Voyages (which lasted 20 issues) and Moon Knight as Fist of Khonshu (which only made six), and I think Ka-Zar just drifted off.

Nightcrawler mentions it in passing in X-Men/Micronauts #1, but doesn't go off the handle. I do kind of figure he got like two solid years of KP or latrine duty or some horrible X-related chore.

EDIT: Of course, I forgot to mention that Huntarr would eventually switch sides, breaking Force Commander's hold on him and becoming I think the last addition to the Micronauts, at least until New Voyages. (I read New Voyages as a kid, but have since lost those issues, and the last half-year of the book gets dragged into Secret Wars II and has a terrible ending.) And I love Huntarr's very Micronaut-esque big boots. Now, he doesn't show up anymore, and I don't know why: Commander Rann, Marionette, and of course Bug were Marvel creations and still made appearances after the license for the others had expired. Maybe Mantlo based Huntarr on a Micronauts toy, at least in part.

I was hoping to get a chance to "draw" Force Commander, but he was in his new, non-toy armor here, and only briefly. The old, white FC would be about as easy to draw as, say, ROM's face.

And I didn't draw her for this, but Marionette=the hotness. Just saying. Read more!

It's Random Happenstance's Third Annual Year in Toys!

Three years, huh. Almost getting some history now. Here's 2007 and 2006 for comparison and catch-up. Some of this list (like all) has also appeared in the forums at OAFE.

Not to put too fine a point on it, or get into the bloody details, but 2008 was a bit crap of a year. I suspect I'm not the only one, and I know a lot of people have it a capital-L lot worse, but I'm glad to see the back of it.

But, that's one of the nice things about toys: even with this list, I won't look at say, Crossbones, and think, "Oh, yeah, I bought him while I was scrambling to find a new place to live! Ha, good times." I'll be thinking about old Captain America comics, or the homemade strips I made with that figure (they're coming!) instead. Times may be tough, and everything sucks; but hope, and toys, survive.

Oh, enough preamble and bitching, let's get to the list: where possible, there may be links to homemade strips a figure appears in. I try to list off the brand and name of the toy, where I bought it, and the price. Price may or may not include tax. Because, that's why.

1-2 First toy of 2008: Marvel Select Mephisto! $12.99, Suncoast. Also, Mole Man, Hasbro Fantastic Four, $3, Wal-Mart.

1-11 Demon, Orion, DC Universe Classics. $9.99 each, Target. 2 of 5 Collect and connect "Element Man" (Metamorpho).

1-30 Catchup: First Appearance Iron Man, $6.25 with postage, eBay. HFF Namor, $5, Wal-Mart. (The Oldest got Dr. Doom!)

1-31 Batman, Red Tornado, Penquin, DCUC, $29.97 Target. Completed "Element Man."

2-1, 2-2: Spencer's Clearance: Pirates of the Caribbean Captain Jack, DC Direct Batman Beyond, Planet Terror Cherry and Dakota; $5 each, $20 total.

2-15 DC Direct JSA Hourman, $3.75, Hastings.

3-2 POTC Captain Barbosa, $3.75, Hastings.

3-7 Hasbro Marvel Legends Hydra Agent, $9.99, Wal-Mart.

3-16 Superman: Through the Ages boxset, $12.50, Hastings. (That's about $3.13 a piece for four different Supermen!)

3-22 Iron Man, movie MkIII, $9.99 Toys R Us.

3-25 2 Superhero Squad Spider-Man's, (for the Youngest and myself), and Super-Soaker candy, $6.49, Target.

3-28 Iron Monger (first edition), $9.99, Fred Meyers.

5-3 DCUC Firestorm, $13.99, the Comic Book Shop, 1 of 5 C&C Gorilla Grodd.

5-6 Movie Masters Batman, $11.47, Wal-Mart.

5-8 DC Direct Superhero Squad (Earth-2) Batman, $14.99, Suncoast.

5-16 V for Vendetta, NECA, $7, Hastings.

5-31 Zoidberg, Futurama, $6.99, Hot Topic.

6-1 DCUC Aquaman, $9.99, Toys R Us. 2 of 5 Grodd.

6-3 Legendary Heroes Panda and Clownface, $5, Wal-Mart.

6-15 Happy Father's Day! The family got me Black Manta (the Comic Book Shop, $13.99)...he killed Aquaman's kid. Huh.

6-17 Speed Racer Big Sounds Mach V, $7, Wal-Mart.

7-1 DC Direct Jonah Hex, the Comic Book Shop, $15.99.

7-17 Target Exclusive HML Hulk, $6.48. Diamond/Art Asylum Star Trek II Admiral Kirk, $9.66, Suncoast.

7-29 Vacation backlog: Doc Samson, HML Hulk/Fin Fang Foom wave, $14.99; Batman sticker pack PVC, 2.99; Target, MT.

7-30 Storm Hawks Dark Ace cycle, $3.74, Target.

8-7 Legendary Heroes Stryker, $10.99, Rite Aid.

8-14 DCUC Green Lantern, $10.99, Target. 1 of 5 C&C Solomon Grundy.

8-15 Superhero Squad Iron Man set, $5; LH Judge Death, $3, Wal-Mart.

8-22 Superhero Squad Deadpool/"Captain" Punisher, $6.83, Wal-Mart.

9-6 DC Direct Animal Man and Wonder Girl, $9.88 total, FYE. Iron Man Captain America armor, $5, Wal-Mart.

9-8 HML Banshee, Hercules, $1 each, Wal-Mart.

9-19 Hellboy 2 Mezco Mr. Wink, $16.99, Hastings. Traded in a pile of junk for credit, but he's a lot of toy for the dollar. Sadly, I mailed in for the replacement head, but moved shortly thereafter...

9-20 Grindhouse Rapist #1 Quentin Tarentino, $.94; DC Direct 52 Batwoman, $6.44; FYE.

10-3 Stargate Major Carter, $3.75, Hastings. (If I still have the "gun-banner" up, you can see her in the bottom right corner!)

10-7 DCUC Deathstroke, $10.99, Target. I totally blame Poe and Pete for that one.

10-30 HML Union Jack, Target, $9.99. Yeah, $9.99: I think Target may have recanted and dropped the Red Hulk prices; the Fin Fang Foom wave was "on sale" at like $14.39, if I recall.

11-01 Walmart Exclusive HML Kang, $10.37.

11-14 Wal-Mart HML Crossbones, $10.44. (It's too bad, the strips with Kang, Crossbones, and Deathstroke won't be up until later!)

11-16 Marvel Select Thor, $19.99, Hastings. I've been trading in a ton of old books and whatnot there, and had a credit. I haven't even really read the new Thor comic--I'm more a fan of the Simonson era, but I just had a feeling it was now or never for that one. (On a recent visit to the same store, I saw MS Hulk and Iron Man, but no more Thor.)

11-18 Revoltech Fraulein Pocco, $24.99, Hastings. Again, traded stuff for credit, since there's no way I could justify cash for that one.

11-19 DCUC Wonder Woman, $13.99, the Comic Book Shop. Worth it just to be done looking. Not sure if I'll keep going for Despero, I still haven't finished Grodd.

12-1 Wal-Mart HML Heroes Reborn Iron Man, $10.44.

12-10 Mattel Movie Masters Bat-Pod, Target, $14.99.

12-16 DC Direct 52 Isis, $4.94, First Appearances Atom, $3.44; Marvel Select Zombie Colonel America, $4.94. With tax, $14.46 at a local FYE that's closing. I used to work there when it was a Sam Goody, so it was fun to pillage for toys again, and I saw an old friend while I was there. Isis I probably could've held out on--whatever's left will probably go 75% off after Christmas--but her package was torn open and I don't think she would've made it. And that new Atom is the definition of mediocre, but for that price he's good for crowd scenes.

12-24 Art Asylum/Diamond Select Star Trek: Deep Space 9 Captain Sisko, KB Toys, $5.

12-26 NECA Saw III Jigsaw (pig-face), $4.97, Spencers. This was a bit of a debacle: I had a $5 Spencer's Rewards certificate that I had to redeem before it expired, but didn't feel like getting anything more expensive. So, I try to get it, but since it's less than five bucks the computer won't let them ring it up, or they couldn't figure out how to do it. I ended up having to buy some Razzles, so it cost me three bucks to get a "free" figure; but hey, candy and gum.

Art Asylum/Diamond Select Star Trek: the Next Generation Commander Riker with chair, $8.09, FYE. That's first season, beardless Riker, a FYE Exclusive. It doesn't look like that store is going to get down to 75% off, they might just box up whatever's left now. No editorial comment, but the Call of Duty figures, Guitar Hero, and most of the Heroes line hadn't moved at all, even at 50% off...

12-28 Indiana Jones/ROTA Indy, $3, Wal-Mart. Held out buying any of those until now, and now that I have, it really underlines how much I don't wanna go back to 3' 3/4 scale.

Hasbro Marvel Legends Adam Warlock and Spiral, Target exclusive, $6.98 each, $13.96 total.

12-30 HML Black costume Wolverine and Spider-Man, Target exclusive, $6.98 each, $13.96 total. That's five of six for Red Hulk, heck, reckon I'll put him together now and see if I can find Silver Savage later.

Total for 2008: $555.16. My 2006 total was about $620, and my 2007 was $426. Still, by my reckoning, about eighty bucks there was from trading in old CD's and books at Hastings or FYE. I probably won't be able to do quite that level again, but I also probably got some stuff I otherwise might've had to let go. In fact, there are doubtless more figures this year from both of those stores, and Suncoast, but I usually only buy from there if something is marked waaaaaay down, if I have some kind of buyback or credit, or if I absolutely can't find it anywhere else.

What else does the list show us? Counting by figure (meaning a four pack like the Superman box set or the Iron Man Superhero Squad count as four!) Wal-Mart barely beat out Target, 20 to 19. A surprising third place showing by Hastings with 11, then the sinking FYE with 8, Spencers 5, the Comic Book Shop 4, Suncoast 3, and Toys R Us 2. An eye-opening low for Toys R Us there: it's not conveniently located for me, but I do get out there every so often; but they don't seem to be coming through for me.

FYE is probably not going to appear on next year's list, and I have my doubts for Spencers as well: the figures I bought were all marked down to the five-dollar range; and to make room for more Playboy merchandise and bongs, the selection gets sparser all the time. (I just had to take three seconds to look up if it's sparser or more sparse...)

Since I'm running late now, "Timing" will be back on Monday. But, if you have a list of your own for 2008? Leave a comment, and let me know! Read more!